Figuring out who i am

[Aaron]

Hi guys if u read any of my other lame posts you would know im a young kid, soon to be teenager who believes i am a young transgendered kid. XD

Now ive just been sat in my room for a while just thinking about me and the person i am and one question keeps popping into my head.
Am i transgendered or just a real tomboy?

I remember being as young as 6/7 and crying myself to sleep asking god to make my outside match my inside XD
I was also really confused when i realised males had genitals to me because before that i hadnt really thought of gender and then i was like why dont i have that?

But i know lots of transgendered kids tend to grow up and not transition and become gay,hetrosexual (big word lol),gender queer and other stuff.

But i just remember dreaming about growing up and having muscles, a deep voice and a beard. Haha 
When i was young i believed i wouldnt get boobs because i wasnt and still am not a girl and when they grew i was so traumatized and upset that i become anti social for like 6 months. That dreaded day a year later when mum made me wear a bra and cry i wanted to die

My mum says i never did any of these signs that transgendered kids do but that was beacuse i was so scared and didnt want to get picked on. Im just not a confident person.

I also feel like im just waiting to get testosterone to make me more comfortable and happy in my own body.

Sorry for the rant guys and any answers will be appreciated 
aaron

[Radar]

Only you can decide for yourself. There's no rush to figure things out. You can take your time.

However, I had many of those same thoughts and wishes when I was young too. You're not crazy or the only one for thinking and feeling that way.

[Aaron]

Thanks Radar and your right it is up to me

I do believe im transgender im an intelligent kid and i know myself quite well. Its only when others around me make comments i start to think about what my life would be like and how it will be more difficult   But i feel i will have a happier life being who i am 

[Liam K]

I think it will help you to think less about signs from the past that you are trans, and think more about what you want now and what you want your future to look like.  You're right, plenty of kids who express cross-gender feelings grow up and don't transition, so while your history of identifying as a boy may point to you being transgender, they don't necessarily mean that you are, if that makes sense.  They're a factor to take into account, but they don't mean everything.  Independent of your childhood feelings, do you see yourself growing up and growing old as a man?  Or would you be more comfortable as a genderqueer person, or as a masculine woman?  Will you be comfortable with all of the possible effects of T?  These are all questions you need to give some serious though to.  You've got plenty of time, and it's good that you're questioning these things.

And in some ways, being transgender does make your life more difficult, but being transgender and not transitioning can make it even more difficult.  Most trans people reach a point in their lives where transitioning, despite the many difficulties it can bring, seems like the only viable alternative. 

[JohnAlex]

Aaron, have you thought about asking your parents to talk to a therapist?  Maybe one could help you sort out all your thoughts and help you know what is right for you.


I also have had a lot of thoughts similar to yours here.  For a while there after I realized that I was trans, I just kept thinking that life as a transgendered person would be hard, and maybe, just maybe, I could stand to live as a female.  Well, that didn't last, obviously.
Just keep thinking about yourself, and what you think and feel.   And relax, too.  You will figure it out eventually, that much is certain

[Tad]

At your age it's pretty normal for females to go through gender crisis's.. it's pretty normal for kids to go through them as well... not to discourage you. But looking at stats, there is a good chance that someone in your place would naturally grow out of that phase as they hit their middle teens/puberty.

At that age I probably would have jumped at the chance of T and SRS.. I had wanted SRS since I was 8. I"m however glad I waited until I was well past puberty to hormonally, etc. transition. It let me see that I wasn't going to be one of the kids that outgrew it. Not to put you down or anything for your age.. but there is things to be said about being that young.. and thinking you know things... when really your whole perspective on life can change in a few years. I was a smart kid too, very mature for my age, resourceful, I thought I knew what was best for me.. Sure life would hafve been much easier had I been able to transition then.. as I turned out trans.. but what if things had changed.. and I had been one of the majority that grows out of that phase during puberty? Not really things you need to consider too much, because you're quite likely not going to have access to T in North America til you hit 15 or 16. Hormonal blockers could be an option.. if you want to give yourself a few years to think about things without experiencing feminine changes.. it doesn't cause any permanent changes though, just puts puberty on hold.

I didn't have the typical signs of being trans either.. though I was a very masculine child.. I just showed it in different ways then refusing bathing suits and trying to pee standing up.


Id suggest that you ask your parents if you can see a therapist or talk to a school guidance counsellor.. I'd also suggest that if you can get away with it.. try living part time as male.. see if you like it. At your age I was doing that.. I had my hair short, wore boys clothes.. interacted with people where I could as male and not letting them know that I was female. It helped me learn about myself. Also.. sexual orientation might change your feelings.. has puberty hit for you, have you figured out what you are really attracted to?

I don't mean to put you down at all.. there's just lots of serious things to think about.

[JohnAlex]

At your age it's pretty normal for females to go through gender crisis's.. it's pretty normal for kids to go through them as well... not to discourage you. But looking at stats, there is a good chance that someone in your place would naturally grow out of that phase as they hit their middle teens/puberty.

At that age I probably would have jumped at the chance of T and SRS.. I had wanted SRS since I was 8. I"m however glad I waited until I was well past puberty to hormonally, etc. transition. It let me see that I wasn't going to be one of the kids that outgrew it. Not to put you down or anything for your age.. but there is things to be said about being that young.. and thinking you know things... when really your whole perspective on life can change in a few years. I was a smart kid too, very mature for my age, resourceful, I thought I knew what was best for me.. Sure life would hafve been much easier had I been able to transition then.. as I turned out trans.. but what if things had changed.. and I had been one of the majority that grows out of that phase during puberty? Not really things you need to consider too much, because you're quite likely not going to have access to T in North America til you hit 15 or 16. Hormonal blockers could be an option.. if you want to give yourself a few years to think about things without experiencing feminine changes.. it doesn't cause any permanent changes though, just puts puberty on hold.

I didn't have the typical signs of being trans either.. though I was a very masculine child.. I just showed it in different ways then refusing bathing suits and trying to pee standing up.


Id suggest that you ask your parents if you can see a therapist or talk to a school guidance counsellor.. I'd also suggest that if you can get away with it.. try living part time as male.. see if you like it. At your age I was doing that.. I had my hair short, wore boys clothes.. interacted with people where I could as male and not letting them know that I was female. It helped me learn about myself. Also.. sexual orientation might change your feelings.. has puberty hit for you, have you figured out what you are really attracted to?

I don't mean to put you down at all.. there's just lots of serious things to think about.

Tad, no offense to you, at all.  but I really think you shouldn't have said all this XD  I just think you're not helping.   Parts of what you said was helping.  but it was not too long ago that I was questioning myself, and if someone said all this to me, I would definitely not take it right.  It would definitely cause me to doubt myself even more.  I know you said you don't mean to put him down at all.  but when you say things like this, he'll probably feel that you are anyways.  At least I know I would have felt like that.  Of course, everyone is different.  So, perhaps not, too.


And now to Aaron.
Aaron, I've not heard of it being common to question your gender identity before puberty.  If fact, if you are questioning, I just think you owe it to yourself to keep thinking about it until you know for sure.  I wouldn't want you to just assume it's a phase because it's so common to question your gender identity, and then later in life with that you had transitioned sooner.

I do agree with Tad here that you should explore this by dressing as a male and looking as a male as best you can (if you don't already.)  and you'll just know if it feels right to you.  I know that when I did that, and strangers on the street would call me "sir", it felt SO right.  It was like the confirmation I needed.  but also, if it doesn't feel right to you, I'm sure you'll know. 

I think it might help you to just relax and don't worry so much about doubting yourself. Don't worry so much about labels.  just tell yourself that you are who you are and that's okay.  I'm sure you'll figure out what it right for you  

[Tad]

@Johnalex not Arron

:p Hey. maybe I meant to inspire some doubt JohnAlex, I just didn't mean to insult and put down his intelligence. Some serious doubt is a healthy part of the process I am told. I'm glad I was forced to doubt a lot. It was a healthy part of learning about me. I know someone who was very sure of the porcess, transitioned, and now 10 years later is detransitioning because they didn't get proper therapy and whatnot, and really they realize now they identify as female and it was just other issues making them think male. I have other friends that are likely going to end up in that same boat it appears. I dislike being the devils advocate.. but people need to really question themselves and take the time to work their way through doubt and whatnot to make sure this is the proper decision.


And at Arron, sorry if you took my last post the wrong way, but I am not going to edit it

I'm not saying you're wrong in your being trans at all Aaron, if you're ready to deal with this just take the time to seriously think about it, think about who you are, how gender plays a role in your life, why you feel masculine.. is it because you like the benefits of being perceived as male, because you truely feel male? Talk to a therapist, your parents.. someone older who will be unbiased and can help you work through your feelings. Outside perspective is important. And in the end what I meant to say is, hey youre what.. 11, 12? Don't label yourself.. go with the flow.. things may change. Being that age isn't about labeling yourself.. it's about learning who you are, and the learning process doesn't happen overnight. Wait and see how life plays out, the teenage years and puberty and stuff is a big learning experience for many of us.

[Radar]

And in some ways, being transgender does make your life more difficult, but being transgender and not transitioning can make it even more difficult. Most trans people reach a point in their lives where transitioning, despite the many difficulties it can bring, seems like the only viable alternative.

This is so true. I look at the future (and present) and see all the difficulties, road blocks and expenses and it can seem overwhelming. However, not transitioning is no long an option. Actually, I'm too far in transition to turn back anyway.

It's good you're thinking of these things because once you get far enough into transition there's no turning back. You're young so you have plenty of time to sort out your feelings.

I've never heard of it being normal for a young girl to question her gender identity. Is it normal for young non-trans girls to want to be a boy and have male genitalia and grow up to be a man? I ask because I don't know the norm for a non-trans young girl.