Hi Squirrel,
You and I are quite alike in this area. One of, if not thee, biggest problem for me is having little to no confidence and being super self-conscious. I have been since a very young age, and I guess it came from having a very criticizing family.
And, strangely enough (like, total lol) yesterday at an appointment with my therapist we discussed this. I've been talking to the guy for years, but didn't have the guts to bring up THIS problem-- I just don't like talking about it.
Like you mention, someone tosses something complimentary, and you analyze it. I do the same thing TO DEATH. I'm quite active on Facebook, and anyone who knows me on there probably knows I don't speak highly of myself and any compliments are brushed aside. Work I do is never good enough, I never look "right," and I certainly don't get how people could say this, that, and any other thing.
In talking to him about this yesterday, he said one of the things to do (which I have yet to attempt since it's a fresh idea): is to stop when you know you are beginning to question a compliment/etc.
Say, "Why exactly am I questioning it? It is what it is." Stop taking things personally, just simply think about something else, NOT about myself, not about the related situation, etc. I said, "Well then what do I shift my thoughts to?" He said, anything-- finding a relaxing activity, a TV show, anything right nearby requiring little though so you don't distract yourself back to the situation you had sucking the sanity out of you in the first place. =P
Think of it now, next time someone says "Oh I love this photo of you," or something of the sort, I think I'm just going to simply get away from that silly update and head right to their profile and compliment on them. Then, go back to what I may have been doing.
So, get away from that compliment. After a while I can guess that if we stop, almost obsessing about the compliments however they are expressed, we can't be bothered by them.
<Ranting, I know.> But I also like Royalty, and he said, "Oh you could be royal someday. Why not? We probably all were royalty at some point long, long ago in our family tree. It's almost impossible not to have occurred." Naturally, lol, I refused this thought. He then proceeded to say, "See? Over analyzing it. It is what it is. Who says you aren't worth just as much as the next person in the universe and have all the rights as Joe Schmoe or Prince William."
Very often my friend want me to "hang out," which is something I didn't even do in HS. When they write me, "Hey, I'll come pick you up! Let's go for dinner." I almost always lie with some reason why I can't or bring up gas prices (since I don't drive, and they pick me up). I am too so baffled as to why in the hell they would want to drive 45 min. out of the way to EAT.
So I feel you. It's a new topic in therapy for me, but if I make any break thoughts, I'll try and pass them your way! =)
