I got my letter at my last therapy appointment for HRT. It was one of those magical moments and I was literally grinning ear to ear for hours afterword.
I was very excited, even thought I had a doctor here in town willing to work with me (called and talked to her office a couple months back.... was told by her nurse that they would work with me... but that the blood work was expensive and they didn't take my insurance)
I called the day I got my letter and left a message asking how expensive expensive was... as I was fully prepared to pay out of pocket. They returned my call that same day and apologized for the misunderstanding, but was told that they won't work with me after all. They only felt comfortable doing followup labs and the like with someone already prescribed hormones.
It was like someone stabbed me right in the heart that very second, my joyous mood dampened and I felt like just crawling into a corner and crying.
I'm at a loss right now as I've exhausted pretty much all my options locally, not surprising I'm having this much trouble... as Joplin, Mo isn't exactly the most open minded and tolerant place in the world.
I've since started trying Springfield, right around an hour away and still having no luck. Some people might be wondering why I haven't asked my therapist for someone.
Well truth be told while my therapist is a wonderful woman... love her to pieces and has at least some experience with trans clients (only one in this area, most would have likely tried to 'cure me') She doesn't consider herself to be a gender therapist per say and doesn't have the references that others might have.
She knows Kansas City has options, but she doesn't know specific names and that's a 2 some odd hour drive and is easier said than done for someone with no vehicle, nor a credit card to rent one. I know with enough notice I could get a friend to get me a ride to Springfield, Kansas City might be a little tougher.
I know I shouldn't let myself get so down about things.. but to be so close to HRT, yet for it to seem so far is very discouraging. I really should be happy.. I've got my first laser appointment for my face and neck a week from Monday.... my friend that gave me the recent makeover is going to give me another one and feminize my brows a little more as well... the plan is to steadily work on the eyebrows over a month or so... hopefully to avoid uncomfortable questions at work, where I'm not completely out.
Honestly I still am quite happy when compared to how I was prior to this long suppressed self discovery process.. but can't help but be a little bummed out all the same.
I suppose I could always squeeze as many laser appointments as I can in while still in Joplin and then come August when I'm in Portland see about starting HRT.... would surely have no trouble finding someone willing to work with me there. I just don't necessarily like the idea of having to wait.
