Outed in a BIG way...

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

So today was the end-of-semester celebration thingy that three university departments do twice a year (including the department I worked for).  They recognize graduating students, give awards, certifications, you get the picture.

It came time for our department (tutoring) to do the recognitions.  Earlier in the week I saw what my boss' admin was putting together and asked specifically for my birth name to be removed and my current name put in its place.  I was assured that the paper was only for our boss.  Well, it turns out the paper was for our boss... to read verbatim as she called out recognitions to tutors leaving the center.  Sure enough, my name never got changed.  And despite going as Zoë for the past two and a half months in the office (my boss knew this), she still called me up under my old name and then my new one as if I was my own Siamese twin.

So I was really embarrassed (I was wearing a pretty peacock blouse and black skirt, along with the new heels I bought last night) but still walked up and stood in front of the audience of about 75, nearly 60 of whom I didn't know.  As I stood in the spotlight, my boss used my birth name three more times.  I felt like sinking into a damn hole right then and there.  I felt pretty when I went to the event, but standing there as my boss used my male name repeatedly, I felt grotesque, ugly, and male.  I was furious and wanting to cry all at once.  At the end of the event, about 15 minutes later, I waited until everyone cleared out before having the nerve to even stand up from my seat.  I played Angry Birds so I wouldn't even have to make eye contact with anyone.

Everyone in the office goes through state-mandated sensitivity training twice a year, but I guess everyone glosses over the trans etiquette... all I know is that it was a hell of a way to remember the last day of a job I've loved for 3.5 years.

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I called up a friend of mine as soon as I got back to my car, and together we went for margaritas (mind you, I drink maybe once a year).  Talking to her, I realized that nobody can strip me of my femininity, I can only let someone take it.  I thought of all the passing successes I've had lately and allowed myself to feel confident and pretty again.  This was the first time I've ever been so publicly outed and I needed that lesson just in case it ever happens again.

i'd definately confront the admin and let them know how pissed off you are.

[JungianZoe]

Thanks to everyone else who's responded!   This whole ordeal is still bugging me a bit, but I'm on the verge of shedding it and moving on.  Saturday was incredibly positive, not only because of some potential job leads, but because it showed me that stupid things people do can't really drag me down.  I can pick up, dust off, and do good things in life.

And you know what?  We all can. 

[V M]

And besides... You got Kiwi Love    Cute lil' critter... What else do you need?

Good on ya for moving forward

Hugs

- Virginia