I just recently came out to my family. and so I wanted to tell that story for two reasons. One reason because I could use some advice for where to go from here. and two, just if anyone else trying to figure out how to come out could benefit from reading my story.
I'm a 20 years old female-to-male transgender living in the United States.
So, like my realizing that I'm trans, there was no official moment when I realized it. It was a process that took place over years. There was no exact moment I knew. I just gradually more and more over the years.
And after I was knew I was trans without a doubt in my mind, it became more and more hard to not say anything and to not tell anyone.
Although I am really lucky that I already knew that my family would be totally accepting me (my family is my siblings and my aunt and uncle who I live with). but it was still so hard to try to tell them. I just can't talk about personal things IRL.
Anyways, I first started out with telling my sister through instant message (I don't live with her). and I had to explain to her what it felt like to be transgender, because she couldn't empathize at first. but then she understood and become totally accepting. And I ended up talking with her over the next few weeks about how I wanted to tell my aunt and uncle, but I just couldn't do it. but everyday I wanted them to know so badly. So I ended up asking my sister to email them and tell them since I couldn't. and so she did. I was really hoping something would come from that, but nothing did. My aunt and uncle were acting like they didn't know. Even know my sister told them that I knew she was telling them.
So basically, I knew they knew. and they knew that I knew they knew. but no one said anything. At first it was awkward. but then it just got annoying, because I was dying to talk about it, but I needed to "break the ice."
Finally, last night, I decided to email my uncle myself. And then today (while he was at work and I was at home) my uncle and I carried on a short conversation through email where he said how he would be supportive of me and call me and refer to me as a male if I would like. It was a nice relief.
Then my aunt tried to talk to me in person about it. While I was still glad that we tried to talk about it. It was really uncomfortable for me. I need to get used to talking about it to someone in person because I've known for so long but never talked about it to anyone in person.
Well one thing we all (my uncle, aunt, and I) decided on was that I should talk to a therapist to deals with trans issues. So I think that's also a great start.
Hopefully things will start taking off from here. If I can start seeing a therapist, I can become comfortable to talking about it in person. I can foresee the road to starting HRT now. But that might be too far in the future for now. For now I still got to get comfortable talking about it. I'm not even sure how to go from seeing a therapist to getting HRT. But I might figure it out.
So that's where I'm at now. I don't know if anyone has any advice or suggestions that could be useful at this point.
but also perhaps my story could help someone else figure out how to come out to their family. since this was really hard for me to do. and I remember reading every story on this website to help me get ideas, and guts, to tell my family.
