for resurecting such an old thread, but there just alwasys seems to be so much pressure put on this orgasm thing. Most surgeons are skillfull enough that they will leave you with the physical ability to orgasm. The art and act of doing it and acheving it is upt to the indvidual mentally and emotionally, and in practice. It takes practice and determination to acheive orgasm, but once you get one, you will get others for sure.
Actually a self stimulated orgasm is not that hard to acheive, and the act, and the effect is not that much diffrent in feeling than a penile orgasm. It takes longer, and i have to keep my mind into it, but the climax is about the same, just does'nt last as long, and the contractions are'nt quite as strong, and of course there is nothing shooting out. However, in my case, and this does happen to natal females as well, I was concerned the first time it happened to me, so I asked my doctor about it. When I reach climax, the muscles in and around my ureretha relax, and release a small amount of fluid. According to my doctor, this is a urine type fluid, but not total urine, it mixes with mucal material that is released by the membranes that surrounds the ureretha, and this is perfectly normal.
The harder orgasm is the vaginal one from penetration, wheter it be from a toy, or a penis. In my case these take much longer, and I have only acheived these with one guy that I have been with, but have acheived it quite a bit on my home with a toy, it just takes well over an hour, of total concentration and total relaxation. There are several ways of acheiving these. I have learned and practice using my kegel muscle, which at first is hard to find and hard to figure it, becuase your brain is re-wiring and learning how to work the new arrangment down below. Its a diffrnert muscle than the one that stops you from peeing, but you will also learn to use this muscle during innercourse, and all this, along with whats left of the prostrate gland helps in acheiving orgasm.
Sex drive is something totally diffrent and has nothing to do with what the surgeon does. If you have a low sex drive before surgery and have always had one, than you will more than likley still have a low sex drive after surgery. This is a mental and emotional thing and ralrely has anything to do with the physicality of your bottom parts.
It took me about 3 months to have a self stimulated orgasm after SRS, another 6 months to have one through penetration. I try and have one at least once a week, wheter it be on my own, or with a boyfriend, just to stay in practice, and to stay intune with myself, physicaly, sexually and emotionally.
Physically, I know for a fact that my doctor gave me plenty of sensation so that I would be capable of orgasm, so I have no doubt that physically everything works properly. So I would imageine that all of the major surgeons have the same prefected technique. Therefore, its up to me menatlly, and emotionally to learn how to use it and make it work.
Sexuality is just something that is in us, and being and feeling sexy really has nothing to do with wheter we are male or female. If we did'nt understand ourselves sexually as men, and did'nt really no how to experience ourselves, and others sexually then, than it will probally be the same way post op, becuase our physical parts down below have nothing to with this.
Orgasm, and other sexual exctcies usually entails letting oursleves go complelty, and in order to this we have to feel good emotionaly about ourselves and our partners, and we have to trust ourselves and the guy or girl that we are with. In this regards, it does'nt matter what we are physically capbale of, or what parts we have down below. its all about our emotions and how we feel about ourselves.
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