Sexual orientation like gender identity… Does it develop in the womb?

[rejennyrated]

If I am honest I am slightly jealous of those of you who report fixed orientations because in so many ways it would make life a whole lot easier. For example if I want to get horny my first problem is deciding whether to imagine a man or a woman... and then sometimes halfway through the act they must even change from one into the other

Then there's the interesting notion that a lot of what passes in those cases of attraction for those who have female brains in male-equipped bodies might simply be attraction of a different sort- that of wanting to BE the object of attraction.  That seems plausible, especially since having sex with someone is about the closest thing I can think of to becoming one with that person.

As I don't really identify as Transsexual anymore this could open all sorts of weird possibilities given that my partner kind of still does to an extent, and I often find trans people incredibly attractive. OMG perhaps I'm sometimes a ->-bleeped-<-! 

Now that the proper hormones have cleared up my thinking, I realize that I am a heterosexual woman and always have been.  I have no real sexual attraction to women at all, and understand what I thought was a bisexual attraction previously was simply a deeper yearning to be myself.  I've thought about it, and cannot imagine now what I would even do with a woman; there really is no desire in that direction.

The enigmatic nature of woman/woman sex is part of the attraction. When I am in the mood it's just deliciously NAUGHTY and rule breaking. Deep down I kind of know that as someone who has an underlying heterosexual component I probably "shouldn't" be finding this woman sexy - after all I can get off very nicely with a man in a much more conventional way so in theory I don't need to be attracted to a woman - and that apparent contradiction is what actually makes it so delicious... Plus I happen to have a romantic partner who is female so I guess it remains in my interest to keep those otherwise redundant circuits alive...

Sex with men for me is ultimately more fulfilling than before, first of course because I now have female body parts but also for the very reason that I now fully understand both my orientation and my gender identity.  I wasn't a gay man because I wasn't a man, and I'm simply not a gay woman either.

Oddly enough I agree with this part - which is why I call myself bisexual - although in point of fact as I have explained even that doesn't really cover what I am. As usual I may have to invent my own category  I think if pressed the most accurate thing I could say would be that I am a flexi-sexual woman.

[BunnyBee]

Lol, Jenny the ->-bleeped-<- .

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Jenny,

It sounds like you're a "Try" sexual  to me...


But most importantly when it comes to ones sexual orientation I live by the rule... As long as it don't harm others..."Whatever turns you on-just go with your natural flow and enjoy just being/and doing if that's your thing!"


Metta Zenda

[Padma]

With regard to the notion of fluidity in sexual orientation, while I agree that it no doubt does exist to a greater degree than people would have you believe, I also want to just point out that if everybody was fluid in their attractions, I would have had a lot easier time finding women the least bit sexy when that was something I really wanted to be true.  I relate a lot to what Sarah said, especially about dead circuitry for the "pull of mind and body and soul" for me toward women, for her, men.

I just wanted to reiterate that when I talk about sexual orientation being fluid, I'm talking about potential - that is, being fluid doesn't mean it *has* to flow in everybody, just that it *can*. And just because it's fluid is exactly why we don't have any control over where it flows (or doesn't) .

I still find myself dreaming of being part of a triple (I've been having dreams of this since I was in my teens), but now I want to be one of the women in that FMF triangle of lurv .

[Emmy]

Re: Sexual orientation like gender identity... Does it develop in the womb?

I don't know whether it does or not. But I think our case is different than cispeoples. They get one puberty with one set of hormones. Isn't most people's sexual orientation discovered or clarified during puberty? I think it's possible introducing massive levels of the opposite hormone into the body could trigger something lying dormant in the brain.

That's a nice idea, but it doesn't really work because orientation is discovered earlier.
A first sign of attraction is generally shown not in infancy but between the ages of 5 and 10 toward peers. This is before puberty.

The current consensus belief is that no causal relationship exists between adult hormonal status and sexual orientation.
Scientists suggest that homosexuality could be brought on by biological factors involving a complex interplay of genetic factors and the early uterine environment meaning there could be a relation to hormones before a child is born, but not after.