A supportive signifigant other

[sowisa]

Hello everyone,
   I am here because my husband will one day be my wife. We have been together for 5 years. In November 2010 my spouse sat me down and told me he was a crossdresser. It has since progressed pretty rapidly to a realization that he is actually a she. She is in therapy and will be starting hormones in the next month or so. I have every intention of standing by her and being supportive. I am, of course, going through the natural grieving process one can expect when you find out your spouse is not who you thought they were, but I am also enjoying watching her metamorphosis,however slow, into the confident happy woman she was meant to be.
   We have four children, three of whom I homeschool. They are aware and accepting of the situation. Over the last few months we have been slowly coming out to family and friends. We have thus far encountered very little in the way of negative responses, but that is probably because we have mostly only told people we are confident are open-minded. Scariest part was telling the kids other parents (we are a very modern family). My husband brought my stepson (our eldest) to the marriage. I brought two girls each with a different dad, and we have on son together so we deal with a lot of other parents, lol. Forunately they have all been awesome about the whole thing. Now we are delving into telling iffier people. I figure if they can't accept us, we don't need them. It is still a daunting task. We have always been an outside the box family though so we are used to people thinking we are strange and unusual.
   Enough rambling. I am looking forward to meeting new people with a bit more understanding and insight about our situation!

[Cindy]

Hi Sowisa

Welcome to Susan's. There are several SO who have been in similar situations and the journey need not be one of horror and rejection. I've been married for 28 yrs to my wife. No children a long story but you can trace my threads. I'm very happy, I was suicidal as him and I am gloriously happy as me. BTW have you tried the joint shopping trips, she can only buy stuff for you, and you can only buy stuff for her. Can be quite eye opening

There is a thing about love, if you truly love, you love the person.  Without being morbid my wife was reduced to a shell by a freak accident. I love her as much now, if not more, than  on the day  we married. She knew BTW that I was TG before we married.


How are you going to deal with the financial side? Will she lose employment? Will she want SRS, can you afford it financially and emotionally?

It is a very difficult time, once hormones start life may change again.  She will/may lose the ability to maintain an erection and you may wish to think of alternative ways to keep yourself sexually content (sorry) . Depending upon her age, build and genetics, changes can be remarkable. Mine haven't been . But there is a least one young lady who has gone to a 36C in 9 months (b***h  love you honey).

I live pretty openly in Australia which is quite a 'Oh my you are odd, friendly place'  Religion and puritanical zealots are of no issue. And my rights are enshrined in law, I cannot be legally discriminated against  because I'm female who use to present as male. But I know the USA is a bit more 'unclear' on the isues depending where you live.

Any how you don't need too much the first time

Have a walk around the threads. Have a look at the SO forum. There some very delightful and helpful people there, you may wish to read some of Mrs E's comments, she and her partner are beautiful people in every way.

Take Care
Hugs

Cindy

[annette]

Ho Sowisa

First of all welcome to the forum.
It's so nice to read about supporting SO's.
You look very open minded and nice to me, so I'm pretty sure you'll have a lot of friends soon.

Cindy is right with her recommendation about Mrs E, it's a very lovely and supporting person.
Like you do, she choose love, when you love the person more than the gender it's good to stay together.
After all, you know what you have now.

For me, I wasn't that lucky, so I had to say goodbye to someone I loved very much, but that's life.

I'm looking forward to your future posts

hugs
Annette

[JulieC.]

Wow...You're awesome.  I haven't had the courage to come out to my wife yet.  I dream she will be open minded and supportive like you but I just don't know how she will react.  I do feel encouraged when I read about significant others like you.  Anyway, best of luck to you and your family.  I'm sure you will have a wonderful life.

[Devlyn]

Hi and welcome to Susans! It's so nice to hear you are able to go forward in your marriage. It's often the other way around. Hugs, Tracey

[gennee]

Hi Sowisa and welcome. I'm a transgender woman who just celebrated our 31st anniversary. I told my wife that I was transgender and transsexual. We love and respect each other. She is accepting of who I am. It has always been easy but I tell her that I'm the same person. I'm encouraged by your support of your wife.

Gennee

[erocse]

Hello Sowisa, Welcome to Susan's !!! It makes me feel so proud to hear your loving and supportive story, I can't wait to hear more as we get to know each other over time.

  I am proud to say that I am married for 29 years, three children (all grown). I am also very proud to be included amongst the wonderful people here on Susan's married or not transitioning or not. They are truly a great group of people as you to will soon  find out and hopefully be apart of.

  I look forward to more of your posts.

   Hugs, Roxy Rose

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Sowisa,

Welcome to our little family. Over 6900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another SO.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

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Hugs and Love,
Janet

[sowisa]

I just want to thank everyone for the warm welcome! I look forward to getting to know everyone, and to both Julya and I gaining some new friends, and new perspectives on our journey:)