What to wear to my first GIC appointment...?

[amybenedict]

Hi folks

I have my first GIC appointment in a couple of weeks, and I don't know what to wear.... I am not talking about which shoes will best match my bag, but as I am not full time yet, should I go in boy mode which is my current 'day to day', or should I go in girl mode as that is kind of the point of going through all of this anyway...?

I know it probably seems silly, and most people will say whatever makes you feel comfortable, which is completely true, but I am just obsessing a little about it...

I want them to take me seriously, but don't want to come over as too keen (?). Am I just being too english about this?

Any thoughts or experiences welcome :-)

Amy.x

PS, I got my deed poll paperwork through this morning for my name change, so I just need to sign that, send it back and from 1st August I will officially be Miss Amy Benedict :-)))

[girl_ashley]

Go in whatever mode or wear whatever will make you feel comfortable for your first appointment.  Don't feel as though you should be pressured into presenting as female at all, period, full stop.  If they are a good therapist, they will not care either way. 

I presented to my primary therapist for 4 of 6 of my appointments with her as male.  The last two I presented as female.  These 6 appointments were over the course of a year.  She still signed a SoC-Surgery letter for me.

[Ann Onymous]

Don't feel that you have to meet some exagerated image standard...go however you happen to be comfortable.  Mine basically saw me in comfy-dyke mode from the get-go...the fact that she was also a lesbian likely cut through all the image nonsense I had run into when I was in my late teens and went to someone associated with a 'gender clinic.'

[Janet_Girl]

I so agree with be comfortable.  I went to see therapist, the second time, in full leathers.  I had rode my motorcycle.  And he could have cared less.  I did eventually go as Janet.

At time, when he answered the door, I struck a pose and said "Ta Da.  The real me".  After that I never appear in boy mode again.

[pebbles]

You say that although I've not been to a GIC so I don't know if they are different I went to my local psychatric assessment and he actually wrote notes about my appearance and seemed confused about why I was wearing a T-shirt and Jeans so next time I intend to wear a dress if only to stop that issue coming up again better safe than sorry because I don't care either way.

[sallypost]

Wear something that you totally love and that you feel awesome in.  The appointment is stressful enough so feeling as wonderful as you can is a great idea.  Remember also, the surgeon is not the judge and jury.  You are there to evaluate the surgeon and see if you are comfortable and if you feel they are who you would like to help you move forward.  I would suggest seeing at least 2 surgeons if you can afford it or at least have a Skype session with them.  Frankly, I made a mistake by listening to people as to who a good surgeon was and now I regret it. 

[Ann Onymous]

You say that although I've not been to a GIC so I don't know if they are different I went to my local psychatric assessment and he actually wrote notes about my appearance and seemed confused about why I was wearing a T-shirt and Jeans so next time I intend to wear a dress if only to stop that issue coming up again better safe than sorry because I don't care either way.

The easy response if they ask about that is that being a person with a transsexual condition is NOT about playing dress-up.  The REALITY is that women in places all around the world every day are perfectly at ease in jeans and a t-shirt (if not less).  I never got the notice that having the birth defect required me to look like the covergirl on Cosmopolitan or Vogue in order to seek out competent treatment for an annoying skin tag...

[AbraCadabra]

Hm, well yes...

I'd asked that question also (bit late though) dressed up to the nines and the guy (gay) doesn't like "glam". Oh ->-bleeped-<-e. Anything was glam for him! Never mind female. Receptionists, both, looked like door-mice.
I know, I know. Some of you are former accomplished CDs and know when to keep a low profile. Silly me, just loves to go with the feel of the day.
Generally not a good idea. We all learn. Yes.

Will never forget being grilled about too short hem line! Freaked! Less so about dressing (too?) formal. And being told by in the referring letter not dressing "en femme". Can get tricky to please self and various conservative males. Oh yes!

Got pretty confused (girlie confusion?) now about WHAT to dress. Answer? I have NOTHING to wear! Though cupboard is FULL. ->-bleeped-<-e.

Funny enough when changed shrink (female) had no more trouble at all. She made me at ease and there was no more dressing issue then "what's my colour for the day". Such a pleasure. Heels fine, flats fine, all fine.

It does depend of who you are seeing. At least so my experience. Best keep it real toned down, especially with guys (NEVER MIND GAY). Dress crap, they love it, heehee.

Enjoy,
Axelle

[amybenedict]

Thanks for all the input. There is obviously a world of difference between peoples experiences, and what to expect but it is interesting to hear some first hand opinions.

I think I will be going in girl mode, as that is how I feel most comfortable, but that is not to say I will be dressed like a prom queen :-/. Probably cropped skinny jeans, sandals and a nice top.

In the UK, this first GIC appointment isn't about me assessing the surgeon, this is just the clinical assessment to get them to 'confirm the diagnosis' of GD and prescribe hormones etc. Depending on whether I go private or NHS for surgery is a decision for later...

[MillieB]

Both myself and a friend have had first appointments at CHX recently and neither of us were full time. I went in girl mode, she went in guy mode and by the sounds of it it didn't really make much difference. They do however want you to be full time before your second appointment if you are looking for them to prescribe hormones, which they won't usually do until then anyway.

Hope this helps and good luck, who are you seeing?

[juliekins]

I often went to my appts straight from work in the afternoon. At first, I went in boy mode, then more and more androgynous as I was dressing this way at work. Finally, I started then going then in full Julie mode.

Funny part of it was that I think I acted/reacted differently according to how I dressed. I allowed myself to be more emotionally engaged and vulnerable when I went in female attire. My therapist also reacted to ME much differently, as well. She was lesbian, but first and foremost a woman. Women react to women differently.

Had I to do it over, I would have only appeared to her as a woman. Once people gender you, it's difficult for them to erase that from their mind.

[Keroppi]

I'll give the standard answer: Wear what makes you feel comfortable.

You say that although I've not been to a GIC so I don't know if they are different I went to my local psychatric assessment and he actually wrote notes about my appearance and seemed confused about why I was wearing a T-shirt and Jeans so next time I intend to wear a dress if only to stop that issue coming up again better safe than sorry because I don't care either way.

Tell him he's a dinosaur and to go outside for 10 minutes and count how many women actually wear T-shirt & jeans in this day and age.

You don't have to wear skirts or dress to be a woman, but if that is what you want to or like to wear then great, if not great as well. In terms of boy mode, they should have no problem with it to start with as they do understand everyone's circumstance is different. Though obviously in practice, they might have questions if you keep turning up appointments after appointments dress as a man.

[EmilyElizabeth]

You say that although I've not been to a GIC so I don't know if they are different I went to my local psychatric assessment and he actually wrote notes about my appearance and seemed confused about why I was wearing a T-shirt and Jeans so next time I intend to wear a dress if only to stop that issue coming up again better safe than sorry because I don't care either way.

That's absolutely ridiculous.  You certainly shouldn't be expected to present female without the help of hormones and there is NOTHING wrong with a woman wearing a T-shirt and jeans.  I'm certain if he had a cis female client that he was working with for something, that wouldn't come up at all.  Gatekeepers need to stop setting extra high expectations for MTF clients, because it's incredibly sexist.  Just because I'm a women, doesn't mean I want to always wear dresses, heels, etc and be ultra-femme at all times, but that seems to be the unrealistic expectations that some therapists seem to hold us to. 

[Adrienne May]

Dr. Randall the Charing Cross 'expert' on transsexualism in the 1970s, used to get furious if those under treatment went dressed in trosers, even if it was a girly trouser suit. However, times have changed and trousers are everyday wear for women now, in fact more often seen than skirts. I advise wear whatever you want and look good in. You can't look too keen by wearing a skirt, because you want to be female, don't you? But not sleazy. What the girl next door might wear. Not weird, like goth or something. Be yourself. Go well groomed and clean.

[rachel_eliason]

The best answer is to wear what's comfortable for you. As other's have pointed out, being transsexual is not about playing dress up and being a woman is not about wearing a dress.

That said, depending on where you live and how familiar your therapist is with trans issues, they can and sometimes do judge you based on appearance. I have heard all too many stories in my support group of people who were told they weren't "really serious" about transition because they weren't dressed in female clothes. (none of these people were denied services when they insisted they were trans, just not ready to present as female.)

For myself I went as I was living my life at the time but I was living as an effeminate gay man and had more friends who knew me socially as Rachel then Richard, so I might not be the best example.