Quote from: Robbyv213 on Yesterday at 10:11:06 AMShe fears she could.lose.custodet of her daughter if I came.out and started to transition.
Robby,
It is good that you are considering the effect your transition will have on others. I am afraid that this is one of those situations where you will need to be a bit more selfish. You must put your own mental health first. You won't be doing anyone any good if you don't.
I do not understand why your wife thinks she could lose custody of her child if you transition. I think that is an unrealistic fear. Your transitioning does not put the child in any danger. There will be people who do not approve, but there are laws against discrimination based on gender identity. Once your mental health professional gives you a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, no government agency, including a court, can discriminate against you because you are transgender. It sounds strange, but you are actually more protected by being "out" than when in stealth.
For your wife to lose custody, someone (whoever is complaining) must prove that the child is in danger. Just because they disapprove of you being around is not grounds for removal.
You will encounter many situations like this that will seem like obstacles blocking you from transitioning. 90% of the things we worry about never happen. Focus on what you want to accomplish. Then focus on what you need to do to make it happen. It won't be easy, but if it is what you need to live a free and happy life, it is certainly worth it.
Again, I urge you to have a therapist help guide you through this. Preferably one with experience in gender diversity. Work on communication with your wife. She needs to know what you are going through and how much it affects you. A therapist can help you both get through this. If she feels that she can't handle it after discussing it with a therapist, the therapist can help you deal with that situation too. I think she might be willing to try to understand so that you two can stay together. You will need to help her understand. You are not alone in this.
Hugs!