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We all have days like that Katie Ellen. Life became much easier once I stopped caring about what others think about my transition. Now I try to focus on the future me and how happy I will be once that birth defect has been corrected. One of the requirements for bottom surgery is to have socially transitioned for at least a year. Also have 2 letters from a therapist and or mental health counselor. I'm sure they told you that in the meeting. My therapist wrote one but the second one was a problem, then a friend of a friend, said her friend, a licensed psychiatrist, would write me a letter for free. (No I didn't add friend by mistake). The almighty works in strange ways. Hugs Gina