About a year ago, I had not even heard about Klinefelter Syndrome. When I first found the website, I went down the symptoms, and pretty much said yes to all of them. Being that I was a smoker, Medicare paid for a CT lung scan. As I also have pectus excavate (sunken chest) I had requested several checks to go with it.
Exophytic cyst is noted along the left kidney. The Doctor mentioned it "A cyst is noted on the left kidney, but it is on the outer surface of the kidney and thus not concerning for kidney problems." Just yesterday I was back to another website, and the cyst may be another symptom.

One would think that a medical doctor would note some problems. I don't think my shirt has been removed for any examination so no doctor would even see any enlargement of the breast tissue or even non normal male nipples. And since I was listed as male, they may see the female shape being due to how skinny I was.
The same for my hernia, It might be small enough that it is not worth mentioning, but put it in the medical records. A different doctor may see it in my records, and assume I had been told about it. I was finally told by a urologist that I have a double hernia. Not one doctor discussed hernia surgery, and I have a large bulge.

Back to my previous thoughts. Is a doctor going to look at my records and see I am listed as transgender female and assume that I am already on HRT. The doctor I have now My first appointment was in January. She mentioned getting me on HRT, but first I needed a blood test. My LDL was low enough, but I was told I needed to raise my HDL.

My intention was to write about my arms being too long. I actually found my cloth ruler and then went to a web site to find what my hands should be. For my height, the width of my hand is between the measurements for male and female. However, the length was way over that of a male. This will give me three problems.
1. gloves are too short, barely covering my palms
2. Jacket sleeves are too short, leaving a gap between the jacket and the gloves.
3. Metal plates in my wrists cool too fast.
I have the same problem with men's shirts and jackets. I didn't even consider that might be the reason I don't enjoy the Minnesota winters. Interesting thought, the wrist is exposed to the weather and by the time my blood gets to the end of my fingers, it is too cold to warm my fingers. Gloves and mittens are easy to make on my sewing machine, not quite enough skill to make a jacket.
Michelle

The little knife I used for cutting up Porterhouse into smaller steaks had gotten dull.
I eyeballed the bevel and took a few slow strokes against my 8000 grit waterstones, on each side then back again.  It is now sharp again!

Another rainy day so I spend almost all my time indoors doing Spring cleaning.
I got a lot of stuff to clean!  I don't remember buying all that stuff.

Marion

Thanks for the encouraging words, LoriDee. I need it today. The dysphoria is hitting me very hard today. Real hard.
Hugs, Alana

Quote from: LoriDee on Yesterday at 05:46:29 PMSorry to hear that, Alana.

It does happen. With me, it is usually when I see a younger woman and I think I might want to look like that. It happens more and more because everyone is younger than me. I am older than dirt. 

Don't let it get to you. One of the worst things we can do is compare ourselves to others. Instead, compare yourself to your old self and see how much you have achieved. Sometimes it isn't much, but as time goes by you have more and more achievements to feel good about.

Hugs!

Quote from: LoriDee on Yesterday at 05:46:29 PMSorry to hear that, Alana.

It does happen. With me, it is usually when I see a younger woman and I think I might want to look like that. It happens more and more because everyone is younger than me. I am older than dirt. 

Don't let it get to you. One of the worst things we can do is compare ourselves to others. Instead, compare yourself to your old self and see how much you have achieved. Sometimes it isn't much, but as time goes by you have more and more achievements to feel good about.

Hugs!

C'est moi... well, you know, from behind.

Quote from: LoriDee on Today at 03:09:01 PMOh, Allie!

What an exciting day. So many firsts and you breezed through them. I am so happy and proud of you. I think you will find that now you can relax in public and not be constantly thinking about how you look. And that wife of yours! I would hug her to pieces. She was right in tune with you. That is so awesome.

It won't be long and you will build the confidence to go out on your own, and even use a public restroom. Soon, even that will be no big deal. You will be busy thinking about the next big step.

Congrats!

Do we get to see a new profile pic? or maybe a glimpse of your new style and color?

Big Hugs to both of you!

Thanks Lori!

And you're spot on.  Today was pretty easy, but I owe so much of that to my wife. I saw the whole day through her eyes. After all, I spent much of it taking to her, getting her input.

If she wasn't giving out 100% loving "you got this!" vibes all day, it would have been much more challenging — if not impossible.

As for pic sharing? Sadly I'm going to refrain. For me, I feel it's best to keep that separate. 

However I do have photos of the back of my hair... might get back with one of those. 

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on Today at 02:43:30 PMThis made my eyes shine.

And this made my tears fall.

Yeah, I think I've always been able to get into "game day mode" - meaning when it's a big event with a lot of tasks to do I am able to be outside myself a bit in order to be who and what everyone needs me to be to get the job done.

The downside of that is, in the moment, while I can acknowledge the significance of certain events, I don't allow myself to be moved by them, for fear of stalling out mid-task.

My point is, only now — a few hours later, am I really able to emotionally appreciate today. ❤️

Oh, Allie!

What an exciting day. So many firsts and you breezed through them. I am so happy and proud of you. I think you will find that now you can relax in public and not be constantly thinking about how you look. And that wife of yours! I would hug her to pieces. She was right in tune with you. That is so awesome.

It won't be long and you will build the confidence to go out on your own, and even use a public restroom. Soon, even that will be no big deal. You will be busy thinking about the next big step.

Congrats!

Do we get to see a new profile pic? or maybe a glimpse of your new style and color?

Big Hugs to both of you!

QuoteThen the topped was attached, cut and styled... and wow. I mean.. wow.  I really like it.

This made my eyes shine.

QuoteOur waiter came over and said "Good afternoon ladies, what can I get you to drink" and we were off from there.

And this made my tears fall.

Ok... here's the update for today. If we were playing "Transition Bingo: First-Time Edition" today? My dauber would be running low on ink.

Got dressed this morning, and was wearing a long-sleeve polo and some Lands Ends stretchy women's cords that I wear a lot. My wife took one look and smiled, pointing to my chest area. Again, I wasn't that aware... but she was right. So ... I went into the drawer and grabbed a sports bra and threw it on underneath. FIRST TIME I've gone out of the house wearing a bra.

Got to the salon. Well, we chose... wisely. I've seen videos and TV interviews with the owner. We've emailed. I knew she was kind. Well she was awesome. She and the salon staff member who was my primary contact. The two of them were just so much fun with me and my wife (the salon owner kept telling my wife "when this is done, we make you blond next! No.. ok... highlights? No... ok.. I'm not giving up..." 😂)

I've been gray since 16... so they started by showing us a gray piece.. but it's synthetic and well, it looked like a mop. We said.. no. They agreed, and said the real natural progression for me and my skin tone and hair would be blonde.

So they showed us a blonde topper. Like YELLOW SUN blonde. And it nearly broke my brain. I mean.. just all the stuff that was happening... hair on my head to begin with and now this bright blonde? Yeah, we were both in agreement as to it being "too much, too far"

Tried another piece but they didn't like it, and then a third which is a blended piece... darker roots and then light brown hair...and it clicked. Everyone liked it. So while we weren't sure if just consulting today or buying we said "let's go for it."

So that meant, they had to die my hair to blend. And just like that... after 40 years... I'm a dirty blonde. FIRST TIME HAVING MY HAIR DYED.

Then the topped was attached, cut and styled... and wow. I mean.. wow.  I really like it. My wife really liked it and the salon folks were crazy about it.  So we had a choice about clips (removable) or beads (semi-permanent — 5/6 weeks at a time)

We went with clips... to give us the option. But we said it put it on and style it and I walked out with it on... and immediately went to a restaurant for lunch.  So ... yeah FIRST TIME OUT IN PUBLIC dressed and with hair.

Lunch was great, no problem. My wife said it was because I was ready. If you had a blood pressure cuff on me it wouldn't have changed the whole time. I was calm. If people were looking I didn't register it. Our waiter came over and said "Good afternoon ladies, what can I get you to drink" and we were off from there.

My only issue was, I realized that I hadn't used the restroom at the salon. I regretted that. My wife said to use it at the restaurant, and I felt that was a bridge too far. She said the place wasn't that crowded, it might be empty anyway and she'd go with me... but I still passed.

Well at the end of the meal we were getting ready to go, and she grabbed me by the hand and basically dragged me to the women's room. First of all, it was grand central station in there. Like there were 1,000 women in there. I'm quite sure I'm not exaggerating.

But even so... did what needed to be done. Washed hands, and walked out and... FIRST TIME USING WOMEN'S ROOM IN A PUBLIC PLACE

Oh and by the way, the photos of me with hair? Shared them with my sibs, our son... my therapist, my electrologist and a couple of friends already. Figured, might as well. Got lots of great feedback.

So... I know the transition book has about 90 chapters. But if we were on chapter 3 yesterday, I feel like we blew through at least the next two full chapters today alone.

Exhaustedly yours,
Allie

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on Today at 09:17:30 AMHair should be huge for you, Allie, as far as how people see you. How much of your facial hair remains?

I shave now on Fridays (sometimes Thursday if I have to be somewhere) and then again on Sat or Sunday... and then let it grow until my Wed electrolysis session. What it looks like fully "grown" is a light gray goatee. But also there's some hair on my neck, but it's not very visible at this point. Mostly the goatee.  So... fingers crossed end of the year we're basically done?