My wife was accepting enough to talk about female social issues from her perspective growing up with sisters.  That seems to be an awfully rare occurrence.

Marion

My little brother taught me how to defend myself against bullies.
He would try to pick fights with me.  Turns out that my reflexes are wickedly fast, enabling me to effectively deploy a number of defense strategies.  He gave me ample opportunity to learn what worked including catching his punches and tying him up.  I was small enough in school that the teachers would routinely look the other way as long as I could handle the situation myself. I had an extremely effective right hook.  As one observer noted, but he can land that right hook! 

I don't know why I just always loved the name Norah. It feels so like... flowy and feminine to me. I love how it roles off the tongue.

It's not even close to my previous name.

Quote from: Moonflower on May 10, 2024, 07:08:30 AMYes! Yay Norah!

I hope we can help. What comes to mind is suggesting that you spend a few minutes each day imagining how your wife might respond. Start with the scariest stuff, then replace that with what you really want. Dwell on what you really want, to increase the chances of getting what you want.

I wrote previously,
More recently, I realized that my post-mastectomy treatment decisions -- as a result of cancer -- were as gender affirming as transgender treatment. You are valid!

Oh my gosh thank you for the nice note!! I've been reading here and thinking a lot about how she will react. I believe she will be supportive, but not sure she would want to stay with me. Which is scary!!

If you are tall and have confidence issues wearing heels you should look to the hero of many women, TaylorSwift!  She is tall and has gone on public record about her body image issues that resulted in an eating disorder.  An eating disorder killed Karen Carpenter way before her time. She is a hero because she stood up to "the Man" numerous times to get what was rightfully hers.  It isn't that she is an exceptionally talented singer. 

Turns out that grasshopper in the window is a horse fly !! and its dead stuck in a web. We just had a rolling thunder storm, washing up and seeing the lightning streaks hitting the other side of the hills. Some good bangs and rattles for a couple of hours but no rain till just and then only for a few mins.

My electrologist shared this gem with me — it's from another trans client of hers, and I think it's wonderful. This is my version of that:

Transition is like a cross-country vacation trip. At the start, maybe everyone thinks the idea is to go coast-to-coast. But people will map out different routes, some people will make several stops along the way. And in the end, some people do go coast to coast, while others just make it part-way. But everyone goes exactly as far as makes them happy.

While there is no "typical" way to transition, it is helpful to learn about how other people did it so you can make up your own mind what might / will work for you.  So this is how I did it.  I'm not saying you should do the same, but this approach worked for me.

Once I knew who I was, I knew I wanted to transition as quickly and smoothly as possible.  My approach was to get HRT started, and, once my appearance hopefully started to become a bit androgynous, to then transition socially.

The first step was getting a therapist, because, here, you can't get HRT or surgery without a letter from a therapist.  Although public mental health programs would provide therapy for free, the waiting list was too long for me, so I paid out of my pocket for the therapy. 

Once I had my letter from the therapist, I was referred to a qualified doctor for the hormones.  Once I was on HRT, I knew that timing would become important.  I wanted to transition socially before my breasts grew to questionable (for a male) size, but after they were large enough to be plausible for a female.  In my case, that took three months. 

During all that time, I was dressing female at home and at the trans support group, and male elsewhere.

At the point where my physical transition was suitable, I burned my bridges, announced to various groups that I was a member of that I was female and wished to be addressed as Kathy, and started wearing female clothes full-time. 

I immediately applied for an official name change, then started getting all my documents in order.  That took a couple of years, the last holdout being my birth certificate.  Conflicting regulations in two different jurisdictions made that a hassle, but I got it done eventually.

During that time, I started the process of getting approved for surgery.  I opted for vulvoplasty, but the choice of surgeries is highly variable because it is highly personal.  That is where talking to a therapist is most helpful, because they will help you to decide what your goals are and what you need to have done to meet them.

No lights here in NJ either. The weather was rainy when I went to bed Friday. Was supposed to be mostly cloudy closer to morning. 4:00 am was still very cloudy, 5:00 am thick fog. Raining again after a mostly sunny Saturday. Rain all last night. Oh well, maybe next time.

Called in on Deb, she was in a good mood. Had a look at the veg patch, potatoes have good shoots .Should have moulded them up but not enough spare soil. Lettuce coming up but a bit patchy, will have to go and do some weeding soon. Have to get some canes for runner beans, maybe 2 wigwams and D has some plants.
 Mums garden looking good, plenty of veg coming on. French bean plants starting in trays in the green house, a good row of radish and beetroot in the raised bed, broad beans looking strong and potatoes as well.
 Got on well this morning making another glass fibre panel, left it to dry so home early. Looks like I have a grasshopper on my window, maybe its escaping the lesser spotted lawn mower I can hear. Yes the twat next door is mowing his lawn again and he only cut it Friday!! What happened to no mow May?