Quote from: Oldandcreaky on Today at 07:04:15 AMYesterday, in a nearby town, I saw a transwoman exiting a grocery store. She wore a long, flowered skirt and a patterned  shirt and vest. Color and pattern atop color and pattern atop color and pattern, a rudimentary fashion mistake, which invite a second look all by itself...and that second look took me to a face not sufficiently softened by estrogen, which is why I clocked her. I expect you wouldn't make that mistake, but do use your wife as a fashion consultant, which is something nearly all women do.

I thought about this for a moment. I'd like to offer a quiet reflection of support for this fashion victim. I can't speak for anyone else but I can construct a lot of reasons to admire this anon sister. Maybe it was a first time out. Maybe she doesn't care about being read. Maybe she does the boho thing to an extreme. Maybe she knew how she looked and didn't care. By extension - I walk to yoga without a wig, I don't pass and I don't care. I am making a statement about who I am as well as my freedom to be me. I admire a sister who might be doing the same.

Everyone transitions in her or his own way. Rather than be critical, maybe turning it around and acknowledging the courage it takes to step out, especially when you are not soft enough on the edges, would be good.

Thanks for allowing a different point of view.

~Jenn

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 11:22:11 AMIs this trail near or in the Muir Woods area?

I can barely remember what I had for breakfast yesterday and you want me to remember where I was in 1969? I was 12 years old! 

I know the trail we hiked was from Rock Creek to North Lake on the John Muir Trail. I know we climbed Mount Whitney, San Gorgonio, and some other peaks along the way. Mono Pass and Bear Ridge were cliffs we had to ascend. The trail would switch back and forth, it was a long slow climb. So fun!

Yes, With a modification that means when I am put together again at the other side I come out as a cis female.

Jessica xxx

Hi Robby,

I understand what you are going through and it is rough. I strongly feel that therapy is going to help you here. If you decide to transition or not. The turmoil you are experiencing is exactly the kind of thing a therapist can guide you through.

I can also understand your wife's being shocked, as she was expecting something totally different. Would she be open to going to therapy with you as a couple? The therapist can help you work on your issues, help her with her issues, and work with both of you to sort things out.

I think it is a very good sign that she did not ask for a divorce, or kick you out. The fact that you are still together could indicate that she is at least willing to try to understand. You said you have poor communication skills. This could be why you and she are misunderstanding each other and having difficulty discussing this very important issue. Again, a therapist can help both of you to express yourselves to each other.

Even if things don't work out between you, the therapist can help you get through that too. You have had it rough and you deserve to live your life as you wish. Not everyone will be on board and it will be painful. But the result is a happier you and you will make new friends.

You are not alone in this. As you know, we have a ton of information and experience right here. Perhaps you could find a story that you relate to and share that with your wife. Maybe that will help her understand. We have a Significant Others sub-forum here. She is welcome to join and ask questions and get advice, same as you. We are here to help in any way we can.

My psychologist said something that has stuck with me over the years:

"It should not be difficult for you to be yourself."

Going to go to a golf club in about an hour.  I never been there.  Girl lunch.

I prefer to snow ski than golf, and I am not much good at golfing.  Although jet skiing looks like fun.  Do have a good day!

Chrissy

No.

I will very much NOT have that problem, Marion 🐷🙄😉😂

Quote from: LoriDee on Today at 08:44:08 AMI have always been the outdoor type. Growing up in the California desert, we had a ranch where we raised rabbits commercially. There were about seven ranches grouped together, so all of us kids hung out together. Rockhounding, hunting snakes, lizards, and jackrabbits, riding horses or motorcycles. As a family, we did a lot of hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting.

Of course, all that sun exposure is now why I have to see the dermatologist every six months. But given the chance to do it over, I doubt I would change anything.

Interesting anecdote about my dad:

He worked for NASA as an Electronics Engineer during the Apollo program. While he was working there, two historical events occurred that had never before occurred in the history of humankind. He worked out at the Mars Deep Space communications station.

Goldstone Tracking Station

In preparation for the Moon landing, NASA needed to know things like how far away is the Moon, how much fuel is needed, etc. To measure the distance between the Earth and the Moon, they would fire a laser at the surface and see how long it takes for the light to travel there and back. It was not a very good system because the light would scatter when it hit rocks or craters on the Moon's surface. But since no one had been there before, it was all they had.

One of the many tasks my dad did was to align the telescope. Our veterans and shooters will be familiar with boresighting. My dad had to look through a small telescope up on the dish and align the dish with a point on the Moon's surface. Then the operators would set the dish's settings accordingly and they could easily move the dish to those coordinates and it would be pointing at the Moon.

During Apollo 8 when astronaut Lovell and crew were going to orbit the moon for the first time, as they traveled around the back side of the moon there was no line-of-sight and thus no communications with the spacecraft. Using geometry and knowing the distance to the Moon and its diameter, they could calculate the circumference. Knowing how fast the craft was traveling they could calculate how long the craft would be out of communication with Mission Control. It turns out that their calculations were wrong.

But the first time the craft went behind the Moon and lost communications was the first time in human history that a human being could not see Earth. Think about that.

The second event was during Apollo 11 when Neil Armstrong was the first human to set foot on the Moon's surface. One of the greatest achievements in human history and my dad worked for NASA and helped with that mission. But at the moment when that happened, my dad was not at work. He was on a camping trip with me!

We went backpacking in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. We spent eight days hiking 53 miles of the John Muir Trail. One morning as we were having breakfast, one of the other members of our party was listening to a portable radio. He said, "Well, we have now walked on the Moon."

While the astronauts were there, one of their projects was to install large prisms to act as mirrors. Now when they fire lasers at the Moon's surface they get very accurate data and know exactly how far away it is. All the Conspiracy Theorists who say that the Moon Landing never happened can't explain how those mirrors got there. They can be seen from Earth, so we know they are there.

Is this trail near or in the Muir Woods area?

Windy roads near there along the coast.

Tune toon

My wife pushed me into updating my wardrobe!  I was wearing the same clothes in my 40s that I wore in my 20s!  She was worried about possible layoffs so I had to do better as I was approaching 50.  We watched What Not to Wear.

But, the real issue wasn't my reluctance to dress better, it was the impossibility of finding age appropriate clothes for a man that can wear Women's size 2 Petite clothes off the rack!
It was her that suggested I buy women's size small clothes in men's styles.  Apparently her fear about me being unemployed was stronger than any lingering concerns from me bringing up that I was transgender before we got married! Not only did a buy women's shirts but I also bought a VS PJ set that I wore the night I got it!  We had the talk setting ground rules!

Marion