Hello Titan,

Welcome to Susan's Place.

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Again, welcome to Susan's Place.

Lori Dee

Quote from: titan on Today at 05:06:05 PMIn my opinion, you will only stop being trans if you decide to detransition.

Hello Titan,

Welcome to Susan's Place.

Thanks for contributing to the discussions here.

Your opinions are welcome and valid, but I must disagree with you on this one. By definition, being transgender means that your gender identity (how you perceive yourself) does not align with your sex assigned at birth.

Detransitioning does not change that. Sure, you can stop transitioning and go back to playing the role assigned at birth. But that does not stop you from being transgender. And doing such, for most of us, just creates more problems in that detransitioning does not "cure" gender dysphoria. The only way to treat gender dysphoria is to bring the alignment closer together to where dysphoria becomes less of a problem.

Many transgender people do not transition at all because they do not experience gender dysphoria. That is to say, their gender identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth, but that incongruence does not disrupt their lives and they do not feel the need to change the way that gender dysphorics do.

I think that is a smart way to do it. You don't want to be stuck with something you dislike. That could have the opposite effect and make you less inclined to go out. I went through about four or five wigs before I found the style and color I wanted. There is no hurry since you are just discovering what the two of you can enjoy.

Had a bit of a "hairy" discussion with the wife tonight... only in the punny sense of the word, of course.

I have my big hair appointment coming up on the 18th, and we've been talking about it a decent amount. Will I be amenable to changing color? What about length? And the bigger issue - will I be prepared to choose the "permanent" option (where it's attached at the salon and you can live in the topper for weeks), or do we want to go with the clip on option?

What with finally telling the important people in our lives... there's really nothing stopping me from being out in public, so there's a lot of positives to the "permanent" solution... especially as it will spur me to move things forward.

But we've both been a bit hesitant with that.

Tonight, though, I think we came to a conclusion. I said that I think it makes most sense to go with the clip on solution AND do our best to be out in public as much as possible until the next appointment (I believe it's 5-6 weeks between appointments). So that way, if at the next appointment, we decide that we're then ready for the permanent solution? We pull the trigger. If we decide we need another 5-6 weeks, that's what we do.

It's our timeline, and the way we've operated since the beginning is doing everything when we are comfortable together... seems like no reason to change that now. So I think we feel happy that we sorted that out.

As for color, length, style, etc... we have just decided to keep an open mind and lean on the experts at the salon and see what they recommend, and how we like it.

Love,
Allie

          (oxymoron)

constant variable

awful pretty

Quote from: titan on Today at 05:02:14 PMThe answer is simply NO, you cannot be cisgender and transgender period. If you are one you are effectively not the other. Very simple.

@titan
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            cc: @Sarah B
                  @LoriDee

In my opinion, you choose based on you feel, it's personal and only you can decide. You could always use a name generator. Maybe pick what you feel that fits your identity.

In my opinion, you will only stop being trans if you decide to detransition.

The answer is simply NO, you cannot be cisgender and transgender period. If you are one you are effectively not the other. Very simple.