I am glad you rescheduled your therapy appointments. I understand that reluctance. I felt that way too sometimes. I did not suspect I might be transgender, I only knew that I wanted to find out what was "wrong" with me. When the therapist suggested Gender Dysphoria, I didn't know what they meant. When he explained I might be transgender, I rejected it.

It turns out that I had bad information about what that actually means. I spent two years in therapy before I finally accepted that this is who I am and began my transition. I have no regrets and I am the happiest I have been in my life. I don't mean to keep harping on it, but as a retired therapist myself and my own experience, I know what a great help therapy can be. Look forward to it and you will benefit from it.

Yes I agree the environment will be everything, and I feel that it's hard enough for women in general in the work place yet alone to be trans.

Right now I feel that it would be best to start fresh once I get to a point In transition that I can no longer present as male.

Thank you Lori, I do not know the laws that well. I have scheduled more appointments with my gender identity therapist. I had recently cancelled them all, prob trying to ignore and repress everything, there are many days where I don't want to face the light and everything that may or may not happen when I do.

I have heard good things about Lowe's Home Improvement stores from people who work there.

We have some members here who are/were auto mechanics. My ex-wife was one. It isn't about the job, but the employer environment.

This is a list from 2022 for most LGBTQ+ friendly employers. Not sure how it has changed in the last year or so

https://www.hrc.org/resources/best-places-to-work-for-lgbtq-equality-2022

I totally agree with the sounding board analogy. Sometimes our thinking becomes too focused. We get tunnel vision in our thoughts. A therapist can ask a simple question that makes you take a step back and re-examine from another angle, and maybe gain more insight.

I wanted to start a list that I hope everyone will contribute to for the most transgender friendly employers.

I have not come.out yet, and I know that once I do I will.most.likely.not be able to continue to work at my current job. I am a Mercedes Benz mechanic, and it is a very masculine environment, and from working here for 2 and a half years I feel I know where everyone stands when it comes to the topic of transgender people. I could be wrong and they could all be great, but I doubt it...

Anyways I wanted to try and get a list going of employers that seem to be the best or most trans friendly. Also any jobs in general that are great for trans people or that we typically gravitate towards. Thank you in advance

Quote from: Robbyv213 on Today at 10:11:06 AMShe fears she could.lose.custodet of her daughter if I came.out and started to transition.

Robby,

It is good that you are considering the effect your transition will have on others. I am afraid that this is one of those situations where you will need to be a bit more selfish. You must put your own mental health first. You won't be doing anyone any good if you don't.

I do not understand why your wife thinks she could lose custody of her child if you transition. I think that is an unrealistic fear. Your transitioning does not put the child in any danger. There will be people who do not approve, but there are laws against discrimination based on gender identity. Once your mental health professional gives you a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria, no government agency, including a court, can discriminate against you because you are transgender. It sounds strange, but you are actually more protected by being "out" than when in stealth.

For your wife to lose custody, someone (whoever is complaining) must prove that the child is in danger. Just because they disapprove of you being around is not grounds for removal.

You will encounter many situations like this that will seem like obstacles blocking you from transitioning. 90% of the things we worry about never happen. Focus on what you want to accomplish. Then focus on what you need to do to make it happen. It won't be easy, but if it is what you need to live a free and happy life, it is certainly worth it.

Again, I urge you to have a therapist help guide you through this. Preferably one with experience in gender diversity. Work on communication with your wife. She needs to know what you are going through and how much it affects you. A therapist can help you both get through this. If she feels that she can't handle it after discussing it with a therapist, the therapist can help you deal with that situation too. I think she might be willing to try to understand so that you two can stay together. You will need to help her understand. You are not alone in this.

Hugs!

If you have a surviving divorced spouse, they could get the same Social Security benefits as your surviving spouse if that marriage lasted 10 years or more.

I was able to collect on her benefits when I turned 60.  Later on I can switch to my benefits.

The law is pretty cut and dried where it comes to the rights and responsibilies of married partners.
Not so much when folks are living together.  It can be a big mess sorting things out  an un-married partner passes away.