If it was in a context where I was stealth I would avoid gendered pronouns or names.  With the counsellor I am seeing now I refer to "My history" or "Mary's history", or for earlier times "His history" or "John's history".  I was living as male for 60+ years so that is a major part of my memories.

I look forward to it too Dances, i cant wait to make lots of friends here who are similar to me and not feel so lonely. And ok Northern Star Girl thank you, it feels great to be back. i will definitely email you with that bit of information, however my previous email used for my other account got deleted because someone hacked my email at the time so they deleted it. It might not be able to get recovered in this case or my old account is just straight up gone and disappeared. Ill tell you my username though as i think i remember it now.

@Maid Marion: Honestly most people dont think about gender very much because it doesnt concern and affect them, only in situations and experience like ours. Also when it comes to sexual orientation or preference and who you want to date and be in a relationship with but too many toxic people out there want to hurt us and make us believe and feel like we're less than human or that we're bad people for being different and wont leave us alone and let us live our lives the way we want in peace and let us be who we are and they are overly judgmental. We're not harming anyone, what we feel isnt wrong or unrealistic, its actually natural but the idea confuses many people and they are ignorant about trans. We dont have trans therapists and experts for no reason and my therapist happens to be trans herself so she will understand how i feel. Society is dominated by patriarchy also, so its frowned upon when what they see as a man acting and behaving womanly and being feminine.

Its not meaningless to be trans though, but i feel lost, worried, and confused on what i should do. There's this girl im talking to that i have feelings for and a romantic interest for a relationship so she can be my significant other and future wife but she views me as a man. I really dont know what to do or how she'd react if i told her i was transgender. Should i not transition in fear of not being together with her anymore? If i start taking HRT there's no turning back, its irreversible. So its kind of a problem im having, i do want to start getting serious with her.

Sorry idk if this is the right thread to ask, but it is just bothering me.

Never easy is it, even older cars make it hard to fit parts sometimes. They say 32C today and I will be in my workshop fitting door seals and wet flatting paint before hitting it with a polishing mop. One way to lose some lbs!!

lost    found

found

The Squeeze a 70s thriller with Stacey Keach as an alcoholic  former  Policeman  who's ex wife Carol White and daughter have been  kidnapped by gangsters. 
Pretty  good  film which rarely seems to be shown

Regardless of whether my audience knows about my past, I use neutral words to refer to my childhood. I don't use gendered pronouns at all--avoiding them is easy because I'm talking about myself--and instead of calling myself a girl or a boy, I say something like "when I was little" or "when I was nine" or whatever.

If I have to use pronouns, though, I use he/him/his because as far as I am concerned, I was a boy back then even if nobody knew it. I mean, if I had ever been a girl at all, EVER, I would not have needed to transition in the first place, would I? I transitioned BECAUSE I was a boy already and wanted to be perceived as one by everyone else.

How do you refer to your past self? What's your rationale, especially if you think of yourself as always having been a girl (if you are MTF) or a boy (if you are FTM)?

I'm particularly curious now because I've begun seeing a new therapist who uses "little girl" and female pronouns to refer to my past self. He has done it twice now, and he is well aware that I find it hurtful. I'm not sure why he does it, but he is not queer, nor does he specialize in gender identity issues. I'm thinking that maybe he hasn't seen things from my perspective. Anyway, I'm planning to talk to him about it soon, but I'd like a bit more ammunition for my perspective before I do.

Quote from: Tills on Yesterday at 11:27:11 PMYou are the person you are and no-one else can dictate otherwise.

Yes this! Absorbing others projections and applying to self can have negative consequences.

~ Lilis 🌷

Quote from: Maid Marion on June 24, 2025, 04:32:28 AMI would apply now for a new passport while there is an injunction.  This is your opportunity.  Take it.

I was planning to go downtown and renew in person, but I can't get an appointment. I seem to meet the criteria for renewing by mail, so I'll arrange for a photo in the next few days.

I'm still mulling over the Real ID situation. I need an amended BC, so I'll have to consult with a legal expert to figure out how to do the court-ordered change of name and gender. Since I've already changed both without going through the courts, the standard application forms don't work for me. What a bother. But the passport is my main priority.

I may or may not pop to Thailand in October but if I do it will be to meet up with some friends and chat to my surgeon at PAI.

I don't deep down believe that Thailand is really an answer for me. Its approach to trans issues is ambiguous and not always entirely correct. In one way it is accepting but that's more in a Buddhist sense of toleration that this is the lot with which life has landed you, usually as a result of your past. It's not truly accepting that a trans woman is a woman per se. That's why there's so much acceptance of third gender identities.

And much as I love it, Thailand is also very looks-obsessed. Many females for example make themselves up before working out in the morning

What I adored about Ireland is that I was me. A woman. Not a trans anything. You don't have to dollop on loads of make-up and put on a show. You can live a woman and get on with your life, entirely protected by law - which you are not (yet) in Thailand.

And that's exactly as it should be.

xx