I had a co-worker that confided to me about his abusive mother.  She was pretty and her husband was warned not to marry her!  He had an accident and went on disability. After that she treated the men in her family as 2nd class citizens!  He wasn't invited to social gatherings!  They would have them after he left!

Another co-worker would tell stories about his ex wife from hell, who was also very pretty.
She wouldn't let him enjoy his hobbies.

It may be that power corrupts, and young women are easily corrupted, not having a lot of life experience or proper training in how to manage the power they have.

I also had that experience at a movie theater, a lady working at the theater said I was going in the wrong one.

Marion

Here in the UK, GP's are useless for anything transgender orientated. "We are not trained to administer hormones or to evaluate bloods" so will not do either. The fact they administer hormones to cis women and know exactly what good hormone blood levels are in cis women says it all.

I have a female GP that I choose thinking from her CV would good, but she is just like all the rest.

I hope in your country or state GP's are better than here.

Jessica xxx

Having a fear of women also means having a fear of looking at a woman.
I wrote the following long ago.

11:40am
So many thoughts go through my head. That breasts are considered to be sexual objects. And yet the female does not hide the fact that she has breasts. She has no choice, To walk upright she must must put her breasts on display. But there is more than this. Her breasts show that she is a woman. Nature's way of attracting a mate. To her, it is a validation that she is indeed a woman.
I need to remember that women do get jealous of other women. My desire to look at a woman's breasts may be to compare. Are mine the right size, Are they the right shape. I, too, need the validation that I am female.
Michelle

@davina61

I truly understand that. My previous apartment was on the third floor. Carrying a case of bottled water up those stairs put me in a world of hurt.

Fortunately, my new apartment here (2nd floor) has an elevator, a trash chute, and laundry on each floor. But I live towards one end and it is a LONG walk to the center of the building where all of those things are. I use a cart to haul my groceries now. Work smarter, not harder!

@Maid Marion

Modern rock tumblers use very little electricity. I run three (one single-barrel, and two double-barrels) processing 15 lbs of rock 24/7. My electric bill went down so I know they are not a factor.

In one of the Rock Tumbling Groups I belong to, someone wanted to power their tumbler using a solar panel. Of course that would require a battery and the solar would keep the battery charged. I think a similar setup would work with a windmill. We did some calculations and determined that it could be done, but would not be more efficient than just running it off the line power coming into the house.

A truck driver has his tumbler in his truck running off an inverter. He does this because he is seldom home. All of these can work as an interesting experiment. But for the purpose of polishing rocks, it is easier and less complicated to just plug it into an outlet.

If you do go for the windmill power, let me know how it works out. I think it would be an awesome idea to share.

I find changing my bed a chore and taking the rubbish out (have to go down and back up 3 flights to go out side, down side of living on the 2nd floor but the view is great) .I am used to the how can I do this, comes from being a mechanic I suppose and I will try anything at least once . When I say anything there are some things I will never do!

I wanted to run a rock tumbler when I was a kid but the electric bill would have been too high.

One idea I have is to use a windmill to power a rock tumbler!  I already one that is 8ft tall in my yard that doesn't do anything but look pretty.

After a bit of thought, I consider her anger towards her father to to be part of the reason I was treated the way I was. I even wonder if her mother treated her brothers the same way.
When I was coming out at work, I already had long hair and long nails. I did not wear makeup or lipstick. I had clear polish on my nails. That was the natural color of my lips and a chap-stick could make them look shiny. I explained that to her.
There was no discussion about what I was wearing. Nothing was said about the bumps under my shirt. I think she knew they were real. She had already seen me wearing tank tops and I might have also been out in a sports bra. In other words, I never went topless.

Not having a relationship, I can't relate to any problems concerning a partner.
Not having hair on my chest, I will never know the pain of having that hair removed.
On the other hand, already having a female shape, I did not need the HRT. I may need it now due to my age.

The last time I used the men's restroom in public, I heard the words, mam, that's the wrong one.
Michelle

In my lifetime, I have met a few actresses and models. I think the reason guys skip over the "hot blonde" is they feel they don't have a chance, they are not in the same league and can avoid failure by not even trying. In the Army, I knew a guy who bragged that he had a higher success rate by dating the "low-hanging fruit".

But in speaking with these actresses and models they told me that they have a very hard time because of this. Men tend to ignore them assuming they are "stuck up" or that they have no chance of dating a beautiful woman. These women were frustrated and wanted men to just be themselves.

I have also found that women respond to me, or enjoy having a gay friend because sex is not part of the relationship. They don't have to fend off flirts and sexual innuendo and can just relax and enjoy the company. If I am in male mode, women are more stand-offish and I believe it is this perception. Now that I am full-time, women are more friendly and open towards me.

As they say, YMMV but that has been my experience.

This is turning out to be a great week.

Had a great visit over lunch yesterday and learned a lot!

Had my third Voice training this morning. The first two were just backstory and paperwork. Today, we went through some exercises, and I'll get homework to do over the next week.

@Jessica_Rose had given me some pointers and coincidentally that is the stuff we covered today. I always enjoy learning new things, especially if it is something that helps me improve myself to be a better me. It could be anything from learning gestures, unlearning habits, practicing my walk, or my speech. I am digging it!

My rock tumblers are completing their cycle, so it is time to wash some rocks. Then I can take a break for a couple of days until Saturday when we have the DAV / VA LGBTQ+ Listening Session. I'll get to meet up with some of the gals from our local VA Transgender Support Group.

Every morning when I get up, I think about the things I will be doing that day. I don't think of them as things I have to do. I think of them as things I get to do. Keep thinking positive thoughts. Always find a way to see things from a positive point of view. Never say, "I can't do this." Instead, ask yourself, "How can I get this done?"

Laundry seems to be the exception.

"I don't have to do this, I get to do this."
No. You have to do this.

"How can I get this done?" Hey, kid, wanna make $20?