Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi, I am new to the site. i have been dressing since i was 13 but always felt as i got older the urge to dress would be easier to control. instead it has be just the oposite. i am 45 now and the urge to dress and stay dressed is almost overwhelming. i never shaved my legs in the past but always shave them now I dress up fully as a woman as soon as i get home from work and 24/7 on the weekend. I am not relaxed or comfortable unless I am fully dressed, and my Female warddrobe dwarfs my dwindling male one. I have also started fanatsizing about being with a man(always as a woman) I am very confused over this, shoul I just take the plunge. accept it and see where it goes?   Darla

Welcome to Susans Darla.  You sound like a lot of people already here.  Feel free to take a look around.

Melissa

Quote from: Darla on July 15, 2006, 02:20:39 AM
Hi, I am new to the site. i have been dressing since i was 13 but always felt as i got older the urge to dress would be easier to control. instead it has be just the oposite. i am 45 now and the urge to dress and stay dressed is almost overwhelming. i never shaved my legs in the past but always shave them now I dress up fully as a woman as soon as i get home from work and 24/7 on the weekend. I am not relaxed or comfortable unless I am fully dressed, and my Female warddrobe dwarfs my dwindling male one. I have also started fanatsizing about being with a man(always as a woman) I am very confused over this, shoul I just take the plunge. accept it and see where it goes?   Darla

Hello Darla and welcome to Susan's.

Please be sure to read the rules and should there be any questions please ask them.  Explore the site there is a ton of information here for you to delve into and be sure to take part where you can as that's what makes Susan's the great site it is.  I think that you will find many new friends here.  As Melissa pointed out your story is very similar to many others here, and I'm sure that you will meet them in due course.

The easy answer to your question is sure, go ahead, see where it goes.  However it would not be prudent as we really don't know that much about your personal and your family situation.  While you may be confused about your cross-dressing and your fantasy of being with a man, you will see from other members experiences that it is quite normal to have these feelings.  Many here have had feeling just like yours.

So relax and enjoy your stay you're among friends.

Steph

Welcome, Darla!

Yep!  Me too!  The older I've gotten the more I've wanted to look like a woman all the time.  (I shave my arms, chest, legs, well, you get the picture ::))  I'm glad you found us, there's lots to learn here, and I'm happy you decided to start posting.  I'll be looking forward to learning more about you and your point of view from your future pots.

again, WELCOME!! :)
helen

Hi, I did not expect to get any responses so soon, Thanku! I have been reading some of the posts and had this question or observation. Sometimes when I am dressed in something I feel makes me look good, I do feel pleasure and enjoy the way the clothes make me look and feel. I don't masturbate (sorry I hope thats allowed) but I feel sexy and nice. It seems some of the posters seem to feel this makes them less of a real woman, but don't genetic girls have the same feelings?   (I probally should have done a seperate post)  Darla

Keep reading, hon', and you'll find posts (eg, mine) that talk about using the pleasure of dressing.  I think many of us have the same feelings but are maybe a little shy in sharing them.  I think some people may even feel guilty for getting pleasure from an organ that they really wish they didn't have.  Kudos to you for being brave!

There's nothing wrong with masturbating or doing pretty much anything else, for whatever reason, when you're dressed as you like.  As long as you're not hurting anyone else, do whatever floats your boat.  You don't mention if you're single or not - that may have some implications - but either way I can't see any harm in what you describe and know that many others feel exactly the same way.

helen

Darla,

You may want to see an experienced gender counselor/therapist for help in figuring out what's going on. 

I went to one to find out why I had the compulsion to dress.  In my case, I was diagnosed as transsexual.  The diagnosis fit me like a glove, and 2 years later I had SRS.  Your mileage may vary. {YMMV}

I just updated the OII-Kindred Spirits Resource link at the Main Page Links Site under Health.
That set of pages is a list of support groups and gender couselors.  (The rest of the OII site's English portion is DaleLynn Sims' old Kindred Spirits Lakesdie site and is chackablock with good transsexual and intersexed information; so bookmark it.)

Quote from: Darla on July 15, 2006, 02:20:39 AM
Hi, I am new to the site.  ...
... I have also started fanatsizing about being with a man(always as a woman) I am very confused over this, should I just take the plunge. accept it and see where it goes?   Darla

HI Darla:
  Welcome  ... is so good that you have found this site.  As you explore the site you willl discover that all of us came here by various ways with different time tables from different backgrounds and continents yet our stories share striking similarities.  There is an identification to our stories and stuggles that I belive have created a veritable bond among us, Take your time and welcome.
  I read your post and did not understand what do you mean by "take the plunge"


please read " Comming out of the closet" find it by following this thread:


Susan's Place Forums > Community Conversation > Transsexual talk > Coming out of the closet.
https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_Out_at_the_Workplace (https://www.susans.org/wiki/A_Guide_to_Coming_Out_at_the_Workplace)

It will save you a  lot of unnecesary pain and suffering also write us about what you are feeling like.
Again we are glad we are all re-united.
love and light, sheila18

Hi, "taking the plunge" was probally a poor choice of words. I have I have ignored or denyed my feeling for so long i just feel the need to go forward with them. I have literally been in pain dressed as a man and have feelings of impatience and anger as well. When I dress as darla the result is usually I feel calmer and "natural". From reading the posts I now know these feelings are not unique. Thanku so much for your responses and hope to hear more from everybody in the future/ Darla

Quote from: Darla on July 15, 2006, 11:26:50 PMSometimes when I am dressed in something I feel makes me look good, I do feel pleasure and enjoy the way the clothes make me look and feel.

Yup, I am the same way, especially with very flattering and either dressy or revealing clothes.

QuoteI feel sexy and nice.

So you're not alone in that. (And I think that GGs do indeed experience these same feelings.)

Welcome Darla,
                        Pretty much sounds like what I have been going through much of my life. Lots of info here so poke around.



Owen
love being female

welcome Darla,
you came to the right place
although i dont understand what its like on your side of things (im ftm)
i can still wish you lots of luck
take care
             jaded

Darla,
The urge to dress in feminine attire does not mean that you are transsexual.  It may lead to this but then again it may not.  Most men who like to wear dresses do not have the kind of extreme gender dysphoria that characterizes a TS.  But the urge to dress can be very strong, and many of us older ladies would agree that it grows in later middle age.  Although I have always had the urge to crossdress and did so occasionally when I was younger, the feelings became very urgent in my 50's.  For the past few years I have been dressing en femme about one day a week.  This seems about right for me.  Each individual has a different level at which they are comfortable.  Putting on a skirt and heels relaxes me.  There are tactile pleasures that come from wearing women's clothing that are just not there for men's clothes.  And the aesthetic pleasures of style and color are just not even comparable.

Darla I can so relate! I have dressed on and off for close to 10 years, but in the last 2-3 have started to take it seriously in terms of perfecting my makeup, and putting togeter a wardrobe which would allow me to fit in most places I would want to go in public. I find the more I dress the more I want to fine tune my look. I am married and my wife is not aware of my inclination. she is extremely conservative and would not be accepting at all. Because of the industry I am involved in, my career would be destroyed as well if our marriage were to break apart. As it is my wardrobe is likely larger than my wife's, especially in the shoe department. I can't seem to have enough shoes!(What else is new?) My biggest challenge is finding a place to dress. I travel occaisionally on business so when I can take some clothes with me I do. Otherwise I can't dress at home so my time as Jen is sadly limited. I too would be dressed at every opportunity and envy you for being able dress at will.

Hugs,
Jenn

Quote from: jennyclassgal on July 30, 2006, 12:19:20 PM
As it is my wardrobe is likely larger than my wife's, especially in the shoe department. I can't seem to have enough shoes!(What else is new?) My biggest challenge is finding a place to dress.

jen:
shoes ahhh i love them that was the first item that i committed to wear all the time no matter what, woman's shoes ....there are so many styles girl!    years back when i first came out my coworkers always looked at my shoes first to see what kind of a mood i was in. they were right!
sheila18

Darla -

Thanks for your post!

I would be in that middle aged category as i hit 45 years old later this year.

I, too, have found that the urge to dress gets stronger as I age.  I tend to be more active in dressing in the summer months and then not as much in the fall and winter.  I have found that this two - three month fling, if you will, has gotten more intense and longer lately.

I also seem to try to make my appearance more complete.  This summer I pierced my ears, shaved my arms and legs, had a makeover done professionally and ventured out many times.  Each time I do it, it gets easier and I feel more confident.

The fact that it intensifies, frightens me a bit.  I consider myself CD and I am not unhappy being a male and female.  I like aspects of both.  But as has been  said, the comfort and sensation of walking around in a skirt is wonderful.

Take care,

Deniseann

Hello Darla,

Its nice to meet you.  Welcome to Susan's.  I am sure you will be making many new friends here.  Be sure to check out the Reference Library and the WIKI.  Lots of good information there.  I too have felt the same way you do as I have gotten older about my dressing.  I am 43 and to me dressing up is much more of a sensual experience than sexual.  I too love walking in a skirt.  I will be looking forward to reading more posts from you.  Take care and again Welcome!   :angel:

Hugs,

Shannon   

Darla, There is an age factor, undoubtedly. I began crossdressing in my single digit years and as I approach 67 the urge, the need, is stronger than ever. I feel it may be my belief that I've missed out on being who I really am in the younger days. And also it could be a little of "who cares". If we don't do it now, when?

Hi Darla,

I've found myself in a similar position to you in that my urge to present as female is getting stronger as I get older and it's not a sexual thing as some people describe, it's more a happiness thing, I'm just happier when I'm female. As I've aged (39 now) I too have started to becoming attracted  to men, whereas before I would have described myself as a straight male I now find myself looking at women to learn from them and "fancying" guys. At first it really worried me and I tried and failed to fight it so I just decided to go with the flow and see where it takes me. I've now also booked an appointment with my doctor to discuss how I feel.
Maybe I've always been this way, maybe I've changed but either way the women within always manages to break out. We only live once so be happy being who you are happy being and being with.

Hugs and kisses

Nicky
xxx

Quote from: Nicola124 on May 20, 2019, 03:56:43 PM
Hi Darla,

I've found myself in a similar position to you in that my urge to present as female is getting stronger as I get older and it's not a sexual thing as some people describe, it's more a happiness thing, I'm just happier when I'm female. As I've aged (39 now) I too have started to becoming attracted  to men, whereas before I would have described myself as a straight male I now find myself looking at women to learn from them and "fancying" guys. At first it really worried me and I tried and failed to fight it so I just decided to go with the flow and see where it takes me. I've now also booked an appointment with my doctor to discuss how I feel.
Maybe I've always been this way, maybe I've changed but either way the women within always manages to break out. We only live once so be happy being who you are happy being and being with.

Hugs and kisses

Nicky
xxx

@Nicola124
Dear Nicky:
     I am so very glad that you have become a member here and this is your very first posting.   I am happy to see that you found the Susan's Place Forums.

     I am not intending to sidetrack your posting and conversation on this thread, but FIRST THINGS FIRST...  I need to Officially Greet you and give you information about Susan's Place and the Forums.

    As you post on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.   I expect that you will be getting many members offering their thoughts and suggestions as you continue to post here. 

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation and as you continue to feel free to share with all of us.

    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place. 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)	Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)	Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)
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@Nicola124
Oh, and another thing Nicky...
Please plan to write a post and tell us more about yourself in the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) so that other members will be aware of your arrival... therefore you will be able to share your thoughts with more members here.
     
Thank you again for joining Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best wishes to you,
Danielle
NOTE: Now after all of this Greeting Stuff I will let you have your thread back so you can pursue answers to your questions.
Other members here will certainly be along to give you their comments and suggestions that you may be seeking

This is me in a  nut shell. Confused, but what the hell. Only live once right.

@Lisa_75

Hello Lisa,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for registering and joining our membership. It looks like this is your first post, so I would like to officially welcome you.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and to share your thoughts and comments. We all come from different backgrounds and represent a wide range of experiences. No matter who you may be, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

We would like to get to know you. Once you feel comfortable here, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum (https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,8.0.html) and introduce yourself and tell us something about you.

Please review the links at the end of this message, they include information that will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile. Until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at  LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,2.0.html)

Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)

Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)

Cautionary Note (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,82221.0.html)

News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)

Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org//index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

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@Sarah B