I'm sorry you're going through what you are. I feel exactly the same way. I wish I had some good advice for you, but I don't. All I can do is offer hope that there is another day tomorrow, hopefully a brighter one than the last.

I too am tired and exhausted of living this so called life. I am over it all well. I'm tired of just existing in a numb depressed state.

I hope it gets better for you.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on Today at 01:01:53 PMI embodied that courage 40 years ago. So, I know it well. And I made more than one fashion faux pas, so I know what it is to err too. I merely note that if you choose to wear attention-attracting clothing, you will attract attention. If your purpose is simply to procure some food, atypical fashion choices might not serve that mission. If your purpose is to have people look and linger in looking, she succeeded.

I understand that your position is the popular one at Susan's, so I'm not surprised that you wrote what you did.

In no way am I criticizing you O&C, you have a sincere apology if you have construed anything that smacks of criticism. Indeed, I know a few other women who transitioned over a generation ago. I hold them in the highest of esteem. I would not be where I am except for you and your peers. I tried to offer a quiet reflection, not criticism.

~Jenn

Thank you everyone. Just trying to get through life day by day. I have been finding it harder to concentrate on anything but this. Work is suffering, and I'm sure I'm not all their on my family and husband duties as well.

QuoteRather than be critical, maybe turning it around and acknowledging the courage it takes to step out, especially when you are not soft enough on the edges, would be good.

I embodied that courage 40 years ago. So, I know it well. And I made more than one fashion faux pas, so I know what it is to err too. I merely note that if you choose to wear attention-attracting clothing, you will attract attention. If your purpose is simply to procure some food, atypical fashion choices might not serve that mission. If your purpose is to have people look and linger in looking, she succeeded.

I understand that your position is the popular one at Susan's, so I'm not surprised that you wrote what you did.

Thank you everyone for the responses and advice

@Robbyv213
Dear Robby:
Thank you for writing about your transitioning questions.....
My best is advice is the following....

First, seek a therapist.  If you can find one with Gender Identity and Transitioning
experience that is even better.

Secondly, take some to time to read the many and various threads posted by our members. 
You might wish to read several of the ongoing Blog Threads that some members have used as
their personal diaries of their own transition experiences.     
                                        Member Blogs
Click Link -->  https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,326.0.html

When reading the members blogs I would suggest that you start out reading the earliest dated
initial postings that were submitted when they started their blog thread.   

Lots of good and helpful information that our members share.

I am aware that you recently registered as a member of Susan's Place and the Forum and
were officially welcomed by our Official Greeter @LoriDee  .... please be certain to carefully
read the new member information that she provided for you in her Welcome Message on
the Roll Call thread.

I wish to give you my warm Welcome.  I will be eagerly looking for your future postings as
you feel comfortable sharing.

Warm Regards, and Welcome to Susan's Place and the Forum
Danielle  [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

cc:  @LoriDee  @Sarah B

The biggest variable is the availability of money to pay for surgery, though a few girls need it so bad that they will take the risk of having it done in Asia with a bargain basement operation.  More typically girls will get whatever insurance or VA benefits will provide.  It may be worth changing jobs to obtain the insurance you need.

Those here seem to better off than  most in terms of the health benefits they have.

Thank you for that Jenn.

We girls can be catty at times. It is always good to be reminded how to support each other, even if we have never met them.

Hugs!

@Robbyv213

There is a list I posted on my blog that is a generic MtF guide. You may not want all of them or any of them. I just used it as a checklist for my purposes.

My list

Social transitioning:

Coming out to friends and family as transgender
Asking people to use preferred pronouns
Going by a different name
Dressing/grooming in ways that match gender identity
Cosmetic prostheses (wigs, breast forms, etc.)
Changing all legal documents

Medical transition:
Mental Health Evaluation
Hormone therapy
Hair removal (face, body, genital hair if preparing for surgery)
Voice training
Breast augmentation (implants)
Orchiectomy
Tracheal shave
Facial feminization surgery
Vaginoplasty

Not everyone will follow this list. Not everyone, including me, will want everything on this list. It is just a generic list for MtF transition.

The very first step is the Mental Health Evaluation. It serves its purpose. You will need a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria before providers will do anything, including hormone therapy. Another reason for this is to make certain that Gender Dysphoria is what is happening and you do not have some other condition that might affect your thinking and behavior. So that is STEP ONE.

Everything else on the list is optional and can be done in any order. This is merely a planning guide and does not apply to everyone. So take it with a grain of salt.

I hope this helps.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on Today at 07:04:15 AMYesterday, in a nearby town, I saw a transwoman exiting a grocery store. She wore a long, flowered skirt and a patterned  shirt and vest. Color and pattern atop color and pattern atop color and pattern, a rudimentary fashion mistake, which invite a second look all by itself...and that second look took me to a face not sufficiently softened by estrogen, which is why I clocked her. I expect you wouldn't make that mistake, but do use your wife as a fashion consultant, which is something nearly all women do.

I thought about this for a moment. I'd like to offer a quiet reflection of support for this fashion victim. I can't speak for anyone else but I can construct a lot of reasons to admire this anon sister. Maybe it was a first time out. Maybe she doesn't care about being read. Maybe she does the boho thing to an extreme. Maybe she knew how she looked and didn't care. By extension - I walk to yoga without a wig, I don't pass and I don't care. I am making a statement about who I am as well as my freedom to be me. I admire a sister who might be doing the same.

Everyone transitions in her or his own way. Rather than be critical, maybe turning it around and acknowledging the courage it takes to step out, especially when you are not soft enough on the edges, would be good.

Thanks for allowing a different point of view.

~Jenn