Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,

::) For some pre-op trans-people the thoughts of self castration are constant companions...Some have at some stage attempted it...Some have done it and survived,and sadly some have died trying...

::) Many moons ago prior to having surgery it did cross my mind, but the thought didn't linger though...

::) So it's a straight forward question....

::) Have you ever tried to castrate yourself ? Have you ever felt that desperate ?


Metta Zenda :)

Yes.

I failed.
I passed out.

Kia Ora,

::) Prior to transition I'm just thankful I wasn't as gender 'dickphoric' as some trans-women... ;)

Metta Zenda :)

in Roman empire transgender men would cut off their testicles...if you were transgender it it was common thing to do back then.
I think they did that because testosterone has such a devastating effect on us, probably because we were never meant to have it in the first place. I sometimes think about castration. It would help me because I have very bad skin on my face, it is always oily and sometimes red and all because of testosterone... I don't know what other bad effects are from testosterone but this is an example

I only costs like 1-2k to get the operation... you can do it while awake and go home right after with minimal pain...

Why would anyone try this on themselves?!

Not really, I myself have never been 'too' bothered by the wrong set of genitals. It's everything else that's always bothered me ;D

Though I've read of an interesting method of self-castration which includes a syringe and medical alcohol.

Quote from: Rabbit on January 28, 2012, 02:45:27 AM
I only costs like 1-2k to get the operation... you can do it while awake and go home right after with minimal pain...

Why would anyone try this on themselves?!

Kia Ora Rabbit,

::) First and foremost I'm not advocating self castration, people have died when attempting it...

::) However for some trans-women who are broke, unemployed and 'desperate' finding a couple of thousand dollars for this operation is no easy task...

Metta Zenda :) 

My attempt was when I was age 8!
So much for $1k - 2k and then what about your PARENT(S)?!

In my case it was an attempt to do penectomy - and during those subsequent big frustrations with my gatekeeper I was much tempted once again - just to get it all over and done with, without having to go on and on, through the grist-mill of 'gate-keeping-therapy' with a pompous idjet.

So, yes --- there are reasons WHY someone would do it.

One TG I met at the hospital gender-meeting had her bf to cut it off for her - so she got a 'pass' to have vaginoplasty... which otherwise she NEVER would have gotten.

Axélle

Kia Ora,

::) I've removed the posts that some might find offensive...

::) Better still would a Mod please close/lock this thread thanks...

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: V M on January 28, 2012, 04:06:49 AM
Wow!!! Did you bring this subject up just so you could make amazingly cruel humor of people's gender dysphoria?  :-\

Kia Ora VM,

::) I apologise I tend to forget how sensitive some can be...I've ask for this thread to be closed/locked... * It was not intended, I sorry you see it this way *

Metta Zenda :)

Kia Ora all,

::) I would like to apologise to all of those who are suffering and who at times find my sense of humour somewhat offensive, so as a token of my sincerity, I will closed my account...

::) I meant no harm and wish you all well and really do hope all your dreams come true...

Metta Zenda :) 

It's not as easy to get an orchi as you might think it's only offered if you have the pshycologist referals even then most urologist still refuse to do it over here in the UK.

Yes I have several times. all attacks have been directed at my testicles.
When I was 19 I injected my testicles with vinagar. Yes Ouch this is actually the most painful experience of my life and I have had to walk on a broken foot before, Scoring a 5.5 on the finger scale (NB: The finger scale is actually a factor measuring how many times more physically painful an event is compaired to tearing a fingernail out) I'm pretty disciplined mentally, but after 5 minutes of that pain level I did crack crying and screaming hysterically.

When I was 22 I did it again but with alcohol this time. Still the pain is pretty intense.

And again when I was 23. This was because I'd ran out of hormone blockers and I didn't want to endure the effects of increasing T levels. When I couldn't endure the pain from the alcohol injections anymore I tried to go further and made plans to go further with a pair of secateurs I planned it and I hid nearby the hospital incase I couldn't get the bleeding under control.  Ultimately after making abit of a mess of myself I couldn't do it I was too frightened.

I don't actually know what I was frightned of, :/ seeing as it couldn't have been more painful than those corrosive injections. and I've shown pepole the state of my body from years of self harm.

Yes my testicles are rather oddly shaped and have an unusual consistency as a result of the attacks. It occured to me to ask a Doctor to remove them pretending I had testicular cancer I only rejected such an idea because of a sense of guilt about detracting away from actual cancer sufferers and the risk they might give me chemotherapy I didn't need.

Not to worry Zenda. Many of us can be very sensitive, but that goes with the territory. As  psychologist I'm sure you will understand.

You apology is take, sufficient and, because it's you. will be accepted, I'm pretty sure.

As for the question, this was raised before or may have been mentioned as part of another discussion, some time ago. It's an interesting topic and good that it sould be broght up.

I recall, I mentioned, that I had also come very close to doing this. In my case, I was about 17 and had one of those supersharp knives which had recently become available at the time. I breifly imagined that one quick slice and it would be gone.

I have thought about it a number of time since and realised that the mental mechanisms I used to get past that little bit of hell, seem to have become rather ingrained in me. I'm pretty sure others must be in a similar situation. I have wondered how many of us have become neurotic as a result and what the varying effects of that are, upon the individual and the community at large?

Interesting.

well.. i tried to cut my dick once but my dick was looking at me like this

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi845.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab11%2Fxmandeh%2Ftumblr_lvuotkPnqP1qbb77eo1_500.gif&hash=d4392f6f0af3eda21ce74faf4befbedac6703c3c)

so i asked him why he's mad - and he told me that i need him to get a vagina.

after that talk with my dick i told him

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi845.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab11%2Fxmandeh%2Ftumblr_lv1l7p4Cfh1qbeafyo3_500.gif&hash=7e99c85cef82fe5e6f4855b4ca5cb62c1685d033)

and now we're both waiting for SRS  :)

I studied it and thought about it for a long time and eventually used the ethyl alcohol (Everclear 95% pure drinking alcohol). It was painful but after 6 rounds of 1 cc each, they are about 75% smaller and I doubt they will ever function again. Just in case someone wants to use this limited info to try this, any other type of alcohol is very toxic and could kill you or damage your brain, liver or other organs.

I'm not advocating this to anyone else so take what I said with a grain of salt. Eunuch.org is a good resource if you want to learn more about castration and resources for such.

Kia Ora,

::) I had trouble reactivating my account to post this message, hence my new temporary account and name 'Zen'...

::) First and foremost I would like to say closing my account had nothing to do with any members here at Susan's [Just in case some might have felt slightly guilty-it was not meant as a guilt trip in any way]...I would like to make this clear...

::) My reasons are just that I feel I've spent too much time here and need a break/change...

::) I mean it when I say I wish you all well and that you find true contentment in life, and one of the ways of achieving this is not to take life too seriously and nor to take things that are said personally[unless that is they are complements of course-but even then don't let it go to your head]...[One will be surprised what happen to ones sense of well being when one stops worrying about the what ifs, there's a drastic improvement in one quality of life]... 

::) And finally in regards to this thread, please leave it open so others may comment on their experience regarding castration ...

::) I bid you all well and farewell ...

Happy Mindfulness :) [Which is the key to true contentment]

Metta Zenda :) 

Best wishes Zen  :)

Quote from: Zen on January 28, 2012, 03:08:55 PM
Kia Ora,

::) I had trouble reactivating my account to post this message, hence my new temporary account and name 'Zen'...

::) First and foremost I would like to say closing my account had nothing to do with any members here at Susan's [Just in case some might have felt slightly guilty-it was not meant as a guilt trip in any way]...I would like to make this clear...

::) My reasons are just that I feel I've spent too much time here and need a break/change...

::) I mean it when I say I wish you all well and that you find true contentment in life, and one of the ways of achieving this is not to take life too seriously and nor to take things that are said personally[unless that is they are complements of course-but even then don't let it go to your head]...[One will be surprised what happen to ones sense of well being when one stops worrying about the what ifs, there's a drastic improvement in one quality of life]... 

::) And finally in regards to this thread, please leave it open so others may comment on their experience regarding castration ...

::) I bid you all well and farewell ...

Happy Mindfulness :) [Which is the key to true contentment]

Metta Zenda :)

The "zenda" account is still open.  It does not say "Guest" below the name.  It rightly says "Family."

Just as several of you offered me this advice in my detransition thread, I am offering you the same advice.  Get a therapist. 
If you are seriously considering self castration, you need help.

I've toyed with the idea but that is a far stretch from attempting it. Always stayed rational enough to know that would not end well, at all. And I do intend to have SRS.
A hardcore Androcur death grip is good enough 'till then.

Quote from: Jamie D on January 28, 2012, 03:28:26 PM
The "zenda" account is still open.  It does not say "Guest" below the name.  It rightly says "Family."

Kia Ora Jamie,

::) It might look like it's open but I couldn't activate it...I started this new one after thinking some members might have thought I closed my account because of them and perhaps they would start to feel bad about it, which I must stress this is/was not the case...

::) However now with this account I find I can't access the part to deactivate it, and being the forum junkie that I am I'll keep using until it's finished...So I'm hoping some kind Mod with do me the honours...

Metta Zenda :)

Yes, but most of the way through it, the pain pills and alcohol wore off enough and I got scared and was bleeding a lot, so I drove myself to the emergency room. They did emergency surgery on me and repaired the damage for the most part. But then they wouldn't release me for around four days until their psych guy cleared me. That was when I was thirty. I had a very bad time before, during and for years after too. 


I just hope it doesn't make srs too difficult or cause them to have to take skin grafts from elsewhere due to the scarring.

My therapist helped me find a local doctor that was trans friendly and would prescribe HRT so I wouldnt self medicate. I gave her permission to tell the doc anythin that I had told her and she told him about the ethyly alcohol injections. He brought it up at my first appointment but was reluctant to just say it out right. 

I told him about it in medical detail and he just cringed. I know he just wanted to cross he legs and hold his own testicles and he must have said "that must have been painfull" at least 4 times. It was actually kinda funny! lol  He did ask why I didnt just get an orchie and I explained to him that most docs are very reluctant to do that and he agreed after thinking about it for a minute. Luckily, I could get my therapist to just write a letter and I could get it now if I was at that point but my T is so low now it doesnt matter that much.

Best wishes, Zenda. By the way, calling your goodbye thread "Have you ever tried to castrate yourself" almost fooled me. Almost. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn on January 29, 2012, 10:17:15 AM
Best wishes, Zenda. By the way, calling your goodbye thread "Have you ever tried to castrate yourself" almost fooled me. Almost. Hugs, Devlyn

Kia Ora Devlyn,

::) The reason why I´m leaving is because I´m ´knackered´  ;) ;D `You might want to look up the meaning of knackered´! ;)

Metta Zenda  :)

No, and I don't like the thought of it at all, is that normal? First time I saw the SRS video it made them cringe.

My genitals still feel out of place, I dont like erections at all.

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on January 29, 2012, 05:35:40 PM
No, and I don't like the thought of it at all, is that normal? First time I saw the SRS video it made them cringe.

My genitals still feel out of place, I dont like erections at all.

I feel this way too. o_o

If you're knackered, put some clothes on! Public nudity is against the law here, you sure have a funny system. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn on January 29, 2012, 06:36:25 PM
If you're knackered, put some clothes on! Public nudity is against the law here, you sure have a funny system. Hugs, Devlyn

Kia Ora Devlyn,

::) Knackered normally means, tired, buggered, broken, etc but the knackered I'm on about[staying with topic so to speak] is the [British] slang for having one testicles removed=knackered  ;) ;D

::) Mind you once the holiday crowds have left the island, I will be wearing my birthday suit when I go to the local nude beach , at the moment it's a little too crowded ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Knackered, naked, nekkid, what's the difference? Hugs, Devlyn

Yes, tried using my Burdizzo but could not handle the pain to fully close the handles.....