Quote from: Melody Rich on February 16, 2024, 05:20:21 PMShe's giving me mixed messages here.

You wife is not giving you mixed messages here.. she is trying to deal with your issues in her way, in a way she is ill prepared for. You mentioned later that she was a private person and concerned about outward appearances.. "whatever would people think if they knew'.. is the over-riding fear in her mind. From your age, that is a common fear. The 'shame' and 'ridicule' that would be bestowed upon you if your 'secret' would become public knowledge...  SO, no, for her, it is not mixed messages what she is saying is 'I love you and want you to be happy' and then she is saying 'I don't want to be known as the wife of a crossdresser or worse a lesbian'..  both reasonable stances.

Your wife is scared of the future. Her fears are built up and bigger, because the world we grew up in was scary to anyone who was different.. Its better now, not much, but it's better. Her fears are probably worse than the reality would be.. but dealing with someone's fears is not about confrontation or blame or casting aspersions on their motives.. It is about communication, education and loving each other for the people you are. You posted this in the crossdressers part of the community. That indicates to me that you are not looking at a transition or permanent changes. If that is where you are, then I am sure communication and compromise will work wonders for your relationship.. However, if your suffering from dysphoric, suicidal feelings about your body, your part in society or your self-view, then you need to explore those in a environment that is safe, truthful and free from prejudice. Your partner cannot provide that space (and would be cruel to make her try). That is why therapy exists. If you are uncertain to your gender then therapy is essential for you to find your path. Communication with your partner about this is even more essential, but they are not your therapist and if they don't want to go, that is their choice. It does not mean you don't communicate. There are choices ahead - make yours and respect others.

Mississippi enacts transgender bathroom ban in public schools
Full Article
ABC News - Matt Lavietes
May 13, 2024, 4:12 PM MDT

Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves signed a bill into law Monday that would bar transgender people from using bathrooms that correspond with their gender identities in the state's public schools.

The legislation, titled the Securing Areas for Females Effectively and Responsibly Act, or the "SAFER Act," mandates that the state's schools have single-sex restrooms, changing rooms and dormitories. Its text defines someone's sex as "'determined solely by a birth,' without regard to the fluidity of how someone acts or feels."

Rob Hill, the Mississippi state director for the Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest LGBTQ advocacy group, called the new law an attempt to "strip basic rights from LGBTQ+ people in our state."

"This bill does nothing but attempt to push us further apart at the expense of LGBTQ+ people, who deserve the freedom to be and to use bathrooms and locker rooms without the prying eyes of politicians peering over the stall," Hill said in a statement. "Shame on the governor and the MAGA agenda of hate."

--------
Another example of someone who doesn't know the difference between sex and gender, making the rules for those who do.

@Michelle_K
Dear Michelle:
Thank you for sharing and posting about your military service.

What you described about what you went through... I think that you are very
fortunate that you are still alive.

Very interesting regarding what you stated about when you had read your medical records while on leave prior to going to Germany and that the doctor observed a healthy ovary during the operation. That can explain a lot about your personal desire to MTF transition.  The VA, over the past several years is becoming more and more supporting of our transgender veterans special needs... make certain that you find the support that you need from the VA.

          I am giving you my BIG THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

Warmest Regards.
Danielle  [Northern Star Girl]                       
                            US AirForce Veteran... served right after college.
                                    1st Lt   First Lieutenant
                              Much of that time at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas
                              Staff at the Air Education and Training Command
    cc: @LoriDee                                                                    

Quote from: Michelle_K on Today at 09:38:48 PMActive duty 1970 - 1972, 13A10, Artillery. 6 month early out as people coming back from Vietnam. Gave me a good conduct medal and kicked me out. reservist 1972 - 1976, supply company.

Went on sick call in 1970, and ended up in the hospital. I was told that my appendix burst while I was on the operating table. My unit was not informed, so I was also AWOL.
 I had read my medical records while on leave prior to going to Germany. It was a bit of a shock to read that the doctor observed a healthy ovary during the operation. That would make me an intersex.
About ten years later, I wanted to get tested to verify. The medical doctor told me not to bother because it never happens. I can't have both male and female.
Michelle

The consensus seems mixed on this one.

I disagree with anyone who says no, you will always be trans*.. Your gender is defined by who you are in your mind. People may pick out chromosomes, biological idents or even (shrug!) finger-length to  guess at your biological sex.. but gender, is specifically WHO you are and not what.  (You can argue this as much as you like, its a fact - Gender dysphoria (GD) is diagnosed by the patient/client/person.. its signed off by a doctor/councillor/psychologist.. but it is a self-diagnosis - no one can tell you what YOUR gender is but you).

My journey is probably one of the more conclusive transitions. I know many are happy in a space they define themselves as non binary. Myself, arriving at a middle-aged woman married to a guy, was a total binary change. That, however is how I see myself. A middle-aged woman.. a 50 something, living her life. My identificational paperwork from birth to now is all female. My husbands extended friends and family, everyone at our wedding, everyone whom I work with and associate with in my community know only that I am a middle-aged woman. The fact that for some (quite a few decades) of my life I had a male name and lived as a guy, is inconsequential, irrelevant and does not help anyone to better understand me, befriend me or work with me.

I guess what I am saying is 'My Goal' was simple in definition, if not simple in achievement. Shake off the past, destroy any notion of the lie I lived for others before I became me.. Build a history, life and social identity that is me. Make that credible and as close to accurate as it can be.. For example, my ex-wife's name is a non-gendered name.. I refer to 'her' as <name> - people assume it is a man I am talking about. I don't correct them, why should I? It is irrelevant to them, to me..

Maybe my original question should be 'CAN YOU ever stop being trans?' as opposed to the "Do you.." - because personally answering that question is probably easier and for me, it is a resounding yes. My dysphoria was driving me to suicide. I hated myself, my body and my role in society.. I never wanted to wear short skirts, high heels, makeup or anything like that.. Being a woman is not about outward appearances, it is not about passing.. its about being genuine. Being the real you and living that life truthfully to yourself. My truth is I am, was and will be buried as a woman. Most people that matter, my husband, my daughters will remember me as a woman.

So to conclude my little ramble.. I have finished my transition, I finished it a while ago.. a little way after my surgery, before I got married. It was an ill defined point in reality.. but I know I am now living as me and I am happy. Happier than I ever have been. I am not transitioning, I do share the same gender socially as was assigned to me at birth (now).. I don't suffer from any GD and most importantly I feel real. Therefore, I conclude I am female and no longer trans... tbh it feels good to say that, like an achievement.. like I beat something horrible, some horrid disease that was killing me. I survived my transition.. I am no longer trans.

 Active duty 1970 - 1972, 13A10, Artillery. 6 month early out as people coming back from Vietnam. Gave me a good conduct medal and kicked me out. reservist 1972 - 1976, supply company.

Went on sick call in 1970, and ended up in the hospital. I was told that my appendix burst while I was on the operating table. My unit was not informed, so I was also AWOL.
 I had read my medical records while on leave prior to going to Germany. It was a bit of a shock to read that the doctor observed a healthy ovary during the operation. That would make me an intersex.
About ten years later, I wanted to get tested to verify. The medical doctor told me not to bother because it never happens. I can't have both male and female.
Michelle

Progressive Insurance is awesome. They even have a yearly company event for National Coming Out Day. I've been with them 18 years.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Quote from: Maid Marion on Today at 02:57:25 PMI have an extremely sharp Japanese Chef knife that will slice up corn on the cob.
Instead of sharpening them I am very careful how I use them so they stay sharp.
Haven't bought new knives in a decade.

I also have a pair of special gloves to protect my hands from knives, though I rarely use them.

Yes, my wife has suggested those gloves for things. I told her those are "giving up."

She said "right, you'd rather "give up" a finger."

I hate when she uses logic.

Even so, I know (and so does she) that I wouldn't use those gloves.

Your knife must be even sharper than this chef's knife, Marion. It's highly rated and it did go through the cob - but with EFFORT. I don't think I'd have interest in making a big batch of these for a family cookout. Or at least I don't think I'd have interest in doing it without complaining a lot about how hard it was. Actually, that might be enough to get me to do it, just that release of complaining to myself. LOL

They really ARE delicious. My wife and I both said this evening we need to make them a frequent menu item this summer while corn is in season. I highly recommend them.

Sorry about that, I had meant July of 2023. I tried to proof read it and still missed it. I suspect I am autistic but have not been diagnosed. Like thinking that it was less than a year, so it is this year.

More bad news coming from the UK:

1 websites that offer DIY hormones are being delisted by Google and other search engines on behest of the totalitarian UK government.

2 if it is found that under 18's has used unregulated (such as genderGP) or DIY then they will be reported to social service under a duty of care in the same way as being injured or abused. This worded as unsupervised access to these drugs that as supervision is banned means all usage. This policy was outlined in a leaked email that has not been denied.

Already registered doctors private or NHS are banned from prescribing to under 18's.

On good new K and I watched Frozen last night. A super film with one of the best quotes ever:

Some people are worth melting for.

Hug
Jessica xxx