So as we prepare for this next (and final) round of "the telling" I'm working simultaneously on the note (a fun-sized version of letter) and the list.  One of the list issues is a bit geeky, but it relates to my fantasy baseball league.

And while I know that sounds like a bit of nonsense, our league is one of the oldest in the country — we've been together since 1989. So two of the members were in the original six I've already told, and another of the original six was a founding member of the league who left like 20 years ago.

But even so, the remaining members are all people I've known for quite some time, so they are on the list — except for one member. We have a new guy this year. And him, I barely know at all.

So the question is - do I need to tell him just for the sake of completing the set? Or, more, seriously... is it really nice to tell the others and then immediately ask them to keep a secret from "the new guy"? But on the other hand, this seems like a DRAMATIC elevation in the relationship between me and this new guy, you know? Uncomfortably so — for him, I would gather.

So this morning, I called one of the two league members who knows to get his advice. He is the one who brought the "new guy" into league. And so I thought he'd help me navigate this.

He certainly did.

Because he told me "Oh, uh... yeah, I already told him."

🙄😮🤔😂

I mean, WTF?

He said that the new guy bumped on my long hair at our draft (which was done via Zoom) and when they were talking shortly after my friend got the letter, new guy brought it up again... and, somehow one thing led to another and he told him.  Oh and he was fine with it. He's a doctor and he has patients, blah blah blah... all good.

So as I said to my wife, there are two ways to take this:

1. Be ticked off that, yet again, someone else just has gone and told my story without asking.

2. Look at this like there was an issue, and now that issue is sorted out.

With all the other things going on in our lives, I told her we should absolutely just go with #2. She laughed and agreed.

This is just further proof that we have NO IDEA nor NO CONTROL over who knows ... and once we told my sisters, from that day forward we knew again we never would. Any time we get deluded into thinking that things are operating on our timeline, reality slaps us in the face with a mackerel.

So... now it just means we really need to hurry up and get the note out. Because really as long as we make sure we've told the people whom we want to hear it from us... if/when other people find out was and never really will be in our control.

Love,
Allie

Hi everyone. The situation I am talking about is where maybe you tried to friends with another trans person but then you find they don't want that from you. They are just hostile to you instead.

I found myself in two situations like that and I found there's really nothing I can do about it. I did the best I could.

Have you ever found yourself in that situation?

Unfortunately, completely not passing 😞
I'm always trying to look more feminine, but in my country nobody recognizes me as a female. I have done more than 20-25 full electroepilation procedures on my face, being a few months on HRT (T<0.5 ng/ml, E =98 pg/ml), train my voice regularly. My hair has grown below my shoulders already. I'm not so tall (177sm) and not obese. I have already small, but visible grown up breasts (smth between 0 and 0.5 size). Regularly everyday train my body (yoga, fintess, cycling) and following balanced nutrition diet. But anyway nothing brings me closer to feminine look ((

So what do you think is the proper way to get the pass? Vast FFS with BA?

Quote from: Moonflower on Today at 04:58:39 AMWhat an accomplishment! Huge congratulations! May you use the power of this accomplishment as you approach further challenges.

Thanks!

like I said, if you are seriously in transition you are mentally tough. it just works that way. Same toughness works for transition and cycling.

Jenn

Quote from: imallie on Today at 12:46:52 AMWay to go Jenn! You set a long-term goal and hit it, nothing feels good like that kind of accomplishment! Whoo hoo!

Sorry about the dehydration. Cannot tell you how many times I've seen that sneak up and bite athletes of all ages, sizes and shapes. The good thing is, normally this is a lesson you learn once and don't forget! 😘

Congrats again! Hope your body is already on the mend!!!!

Love,
Allie

Live and learn. I have my finish and that is gold.

I feel recovered. thinking a quick 20 tonight. Who is in?

Jenn

Quote from: LoriDee on Yesterday at 10:25:29 PMWe had no doubts you could do it. Congrats! I think you know you had the right attitude going into it and was not about to give up. I admire that. Well done!

thanks.

I knew mental prep was essential. I had no idea how essential. I have said this before, the race is a really good metaphor for transition. Mental prep is huge.

thanks for the confidence in me,

Jenn

Hi RandomStrangerX

You wrote the following:

Quote from: RandomStrangerX on Today at 07:55:47 AMThank you so much for your answers, as for I knew that I'm not alone in those feelings, but seeing it written by someone else is really, really helpful.

@Sarah B - regarding my nickname, I must admit that I didn't look up other users nicks here and just went in with something not exactly showing my desired name, etc. If you can direct me to how can I change it without creating another account, that may be helpful

You are more than welcome and I hope that I have helped you in some way.

I will let Danielle our Forum Administrator that you are interested in changing your name or login credentials, she will get in contact with you and between the both of you, I hope that you will be able to sort out something.

Take care and have fun.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@RandomStrangerX
@Northern Star Girl

Well I made Italian bean soup from my meals for one or two book, green beans and red kidney beans so it looks like I am vegie today.
 Good job I stayed home, carpark is jammed up with double glazing vans. House in the corner of the car park are having windows fitted today, not the best weather for that.

@Sarah B, @LoriDee, @SoupSarah

Thank you so much for your answers, as for I knew that I'm not alone in those feelings, but seeing it written by someone else is really, really helpful.

@Sarah B - regarding my nickname, I must admit that I didn't look up other users nicks here and just went in with something not exactly showing my desired name, etc. If you can direct me to how can I change it without creating another account, that may be helpful

Hi Alana

Yes, 'therapist's' will have their own approach.  Long story short, I never told them very much about me and they hardly asked me any questions about me as well.  I was a very private, quite and shy person at the time and I heard or read that 'therapists' could and would play games with you or in other words they would 'gate keep you'.

So in a sense I never formed a relationship with them and I was only there for one thing and that was to get my surgery letters.  You might ask why was there not much interaction between them and me and you will not be the first or last to do so.

I guess it boils down to what they saw.  All they saw was a women, she had a job, was working full time, had realistic expectations and had her head screwed on properly.  So I assume from that, that was why I got my surgery letters.

Did I need the 'psychiatrist's' no, I would have had the surgery the next day when I arrived in Sydney and I still would not have regretted what I had done.  In fact I don't think I have really mentioned in my posts that I had my surgery letters within 13 months, although one could work that out.

In one of those surgery letters it basically says I would have to wait about another 9 months before I could have my surgery.  I did ask my first psychiatrist could I have it now, but no I had to wait and I was annoyed to say the least.

So to answer your questions, as others have said the first appointment will be a meet and greet, in other words both of you will get to know one and another.  Mine as far as I know was basically the same.

What should I expect to be asked?  Well I guess the answer to this would be "why are you here?" and of course only you know that answer to that question and what do you want from talking to the gender therapist.

I hope things go well with your appointment.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter