You know, i actually agree Devlyn. Why let others discourage you and hinder you from being happy and comfortable? Nothing should be a reluctance if it isnt hurting them or a crime. Its called being free and freedom and independent.

Quote from: Maid Marion on Today at 04:46:52 AMWhat you shouldn't do is to dress androgynously all the time, in that uncanny valley between male and female. While this can be very sexy, eliciting strong emotions in people, this is dangerous territory to be in all the time.  Instead, I suggest dressing either male or female, so folks won't give you a second glance.  If you want to attract attention you may do that, but aware that attracting attention may be dangerous.  There may be times and places where you can do that safely.

You may consider relocating to a safer place to live. Cities tend to be more accepting of us.  You may not have to travel far.
It is hard to transition in place, where people may remember you before.  You may want to relocate for that reason.  To get a new start in a new place.

 It is likely that I'm one of the most well known private citizens in the town I live.  I grow an amazing flower garden that people visit when they walk around the neighborhood.  I've moved my most  fragrant roses to a row just off the sidewalk.  They also see it on their commute to work.  I got a thank you note from a commuter!

I'm sorry, but I don't think that is correct, helpful, or anyone's business to be declaring.

Everyone should present the way they're comfortable presenting. Full stop.

Hugs, Devlyn

Before my initial surgery I would work out a lot but it didn't have an effect on the hips, and for the past few years I've kept doing workouts that target glutes/lower body, so my concern really is the hip area rather than butt etc. Right now I have been increasing calories as much as possible and my diet is way unhealthier than usual which doesn't make me feel amazing, but I feel like I've seen some slight results regarding weight gain so I'll keep trying for the rest of the summer and I'll try to find surgeons that I'd be interested in contacting as soon as I feel like a fat transfer would realistically be possible.

I'm grateful for all the tips along the way! I just keep dreaming of the day when I'll finally feel comfortable and I'll be done with surgeries etc, and this is like the last step and hopefully I can achieve this before the year is over!

Boy. A smaller than average boy who developed a quick fuse and a drinking problem, but all boy. 

Hugs, Devlyn

When I refer to my childhood, I usually say, "When I was a kid,..."  It works in most contexts, and it avoids both misleading and disclosing.

Thanks @Lilis

A few years ago I got into a discussion on a Trans-exclusionist forum, something I wouldn't do these days. It was quite a bear-pit environment and made me realise that this small minority of women are vocal and vociferous, as well as pretty messed-up.

When I used the adjective cis in front of female, all hell broke loose. They were just women, thank you very much, without qualifying adjectives.

And this is one of several reasons why I reject the idea that we are trans women. NO! There are no qualifying adjectives: we are women.

The term is a broad one. It encompasses many shades of expression and indeed many stages of life, including those who have had to experience the physical and psychological effects of operations as well as those who have gone through menopause. And it includes those with gender incongruence at whatever stage of their transition.

We are all women. No ifs. No buts.

xx

Thank you all very much for your comments and support.
I feel that I should have looked out more for other medical advice, but didn't...until now.
All your comments make all the sense in the world, and now I read my initial message and I see that I needed to be told what you have all told me, which has encouraged me to look further.

After I started this topic and looked elsewhere, I felt as if had a blindfold taken away from me and now see things differently. For all that, thank you for your comments and great advice.

I do continue with my path and transition, but have changed some elements and understood others...so, as I always say, enjoy the way, and that is what I am doing...and learning a lot in the meantime.

Thank you sisters...love u all!

Hello all,

Wow...that must have been a lovely moment

Quote from: Camille58S on July 01, 2025, 09:05:16 PM" I knew there was something I liked about you!"

I will share this most recent moment that I am living with my daughter who is starting to develop her breasts. Her mother is not so present, busy, and I spend a lot of time with her, so I am really enjoying doing her hair (and she does mine too sometimes).

Now that her breasts are starting to develop and she sees the need of her first bra to cover her sensitive area (not so much bra, I do not know how it is called in English), I am being there and it is great fun showing her how to put it on and taking it off and her struggles, which were mine not so long ago.

We have shared painting our nails too (also with my son) and we all share those moments...and they give me my space with them and sharing something mine too. My daughter, well, she looks out to me when asking more girly questions and seeing her develop, also makes me be closer to her.

So, lets see if someone else wants to share some of their happy moments with all of us.
In the meantime, love u all and look out for your best and happiest version of yourself.

I knew I was different to those around me at 4 years old, and I couldn't identify as a boy or girl, so I have just been me all my life. When I talk about my childhood I simply don't use sex terms, and even now, I only use trans female to avoid questions and confusion for those in a binary mindset. If a therapist referred to my child self in binary terms I would correct them. I lived as me, with an obvious female side when I presented as male, and an obvious male side since I have presented as female.

Hugs,

Allie

Discovered