Hi Everyone

For those who live in Australia all states and territories, do not have a gender marker on their driving licenses.  The gender marker is maintained in their relevant databases and can be changed according to the relevant law or legislation in those states or territories.  Subject to appropriate document verification.

Height and colour of eyes have also been removed over the years.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

For me, the moments of daily life are gradations with 'I am woman' generally louder than the other voices in my head. But the other voices are loud enough for me to hear. It feels as though I am somewhere between 70 and 80% woman but I have moments when I feel more male than female. I am learning to live with this dissonance. Perhaps HRT will provide more stability and more clarity, but if it doesn't, I'm ok with who I am, regardless of whom I become.

Hi Lunaria

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you back to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

It is good to see that you have returned and shared your story.  Wearing feminine clothes harms no one so enjoy the calm and confidence those outfits give you.  Mixed reactions from others can sting yet they reflect only their comfort not your value.  The stranger who called you beautiful saw your genuine self.

You have already taken a smart step by booking a new appointment with a gender aware therapist.  Professional guidance will help you confirm how you identify and decide whether medical care suits your goals.  When you reschedule ask if the clinic follows an informed consent model so you will know the safety checks before starting hormones.  Medicine from a regulated pharmacy gives accurate doses and regular monitoring which protect your health far better than any online source.

Living on remote land brings peace although it can feel lonely.  The city is only forty five miles away so you might visit a support group there while keeping your quiet home base.  This forum also offers steady conversation whenever you need it.

Passing worries are common.  Hormones voice work and everyday practice all help yet confidence grows mainly from seeing your reflection match how you feel inside.  A good therapist can give realistic expectations so the mirror feels like an ally not a critic.

You care about a woman who currently sees you as male.  Honest dialogue is essential.  Share your feelings at a pace that respects both her comfort and your safety.  Many couples remain strong once they understand each other's needs.

Each step you take such as attending the appointment choosing supervised care and talking with loved ones moves you closer to living peacefully in your own skin.  The community is here to support you.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Lunaria

Welcome to Susan's, Tom!

A most compelling question, Arch! My first memory related to gender was wearing one of my older sister's dresses (four years old). My second memory (five years old) is asking the neighbor girl to marry me. We sealed our engagement with a kiss. I think my early awareness of gender was in constant flux until scripting (as TanyaG eloquently describes) turned me into a 'boy'. Like so many of those who responded, I tend to refer to my childhood in gender neutral terms.

Hi Tom

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

It sounds as though you have carried these feelings for most of your life and you have taken thoughtful steps to understand them.  There is never anything wrong with enjoying clothes that help you feel at ease; if wearing lingerie brings calm and happiness that is a healthy act of self expression.

Moving from online medication to supervised care is a wise decision.  Internet sources can vary in quality so working with a doctor will let you confirm purity and dosage while tracking any side effects.  Pausing DIY hormones was a responsible choice once you lost that oversight and it shows you are listening to your body.

I am sorry to hear that you and your long time girlfriend parted.  I have also lost a partner after many years and I know how painful that can be.  Please be gentle with yourself as you start this new chapter.  As you explore gender care again ask the therapist whether the clinic follows an informed consent model for hormones.  That pathway respects your autonomy yet still makes sure you receive the right medical screening.

It may also help to speak openly with your current girlfriend about how she feels toward gender variance.  Sharing goals and concerns early can build the trust you will both need if you decide to pursue treatment.

You have already taken an important first step by booking that appointment.  Keep gathering professional advice stay honest with your partner and progress at a pace that feels right for you.  Many here have walked similar paths and will be glad to support you.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@Tom75

Hello dry_fish99

My name is Sarah and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I noticed that you made a first post here on Susan's in, "Davian's diary vol 3, life goes on... continued."  I would have welcomed you there in her members blog, but it would interrupt her blog.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in this thread or the Introductions Forum.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@dry_fish99

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Quote from: ChrissyRyan on Today at 06:38:51 AMDiscovered

             uncovered

      @Anne_lifetrip
Dear Anne:

What you shared is an amazing "happy moment" story about your relationship with your young
daughter as she is in her journey of puberty and with her body changes. Also the personal time
with your young son painting all of yours, and your son's and your daughter's nails together. 
          Wonderful family time.

These are great memories for you and your children....thank you for posting about your happy moments.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Anne_lifetrip on Today at 08:29:17 AMHello all,

Wow...that must have been a lovely moment 

I will share this most recent moment that I am living with my daughter who is starting to develop her breasts. Her mother is not so present, busy, and I spend a lot of time with her, so I am really enjoying doing her hair (and she does mine too sometimes).

Now that her breasts are starting to develop and she sees the need of her first bra to cover her sensitive area (not so much bra, I do not know how it is called in English), I am being there and it is great fun showing her how to put it on and taking it off and her struggles, which were mine not so long ago.

We have shared painting our nails too (also with my son) and we all share those moments...and they give me my space with them and sharing something mine too. My daughter, well, she looks out to me when asking more girly questions and seeing her develop, also makes me be closer to her.

So, lets see if someone else wants to share some of their happy moments with all of us.
In the meantime, love u all and look out for your best and happiest version of yourself.

Quote from: Arch on Today at 01:09:48 AMRegardless of whether my audience knows about my past, I use neutral words to refer to my childhood. I don't use gendered pronouns at all--avoiding them is easy because I'm talking about myself--and instead of calling myself a girl or a boy, I say something like "when I was little" or "when I was nine" or whatever.

If I have to use pronouns, though, I use he/him/his because as far as I am concerned, I was a boy back then even if nobody knew it. I mean, if I had ever been a girl at all, EVER, I would not have needed to transition in the first place, would I? I transitioned BECAUSE I was a boy already and wanted to be perceived as one by everyone else.

How do you refer to your past self? What's your rationale, especially if you think of yourself as always having been a girl (if you are MTF) or a boy (if you are FTM)?

I'm particularly curious now because I've begun seeing a new therapist who uses "little girl" and female pronouns to refer to my past self. He has done it twice now, and he is well aware that I find it hurtful. I'm not sure why he does it, but he is not queer, nor does he specialize in gender identity issues. I'm thinking that maybe he hasn't seen things from my perspective. Anyway, I'm planning to talk to him about it soon, but I'd like a bit more ammunition for my perspective before I do.

I've actually been starting to ponder this myself. I am MtF but I have been starting to ponder the fact that I have always been a girl even before I "became a girl."

Sure, I grew my hair longer and started wearing dresses and makeup. I even grew breasts from estrogen therapy.

Despite all that, I was a girl. Maybe I wasn't expressing my femininity because of oppression by society, but that didn't make me less female.

I think you're completely justified in your perspective.