Wearing a bra just seems like the right thing to do.  I feel naked without one.

Quote from: AnneK on May 14, 2019, 10:04:30 PM
Wearing a bra just seems like the right thing to do.  I feel naked without one.

Interesting,  it may have to do with the climate I am in, nobody in her right mind would wear pantyhose if not absolutely required.  And a bra is just another piece of clothing that heat me up.  I never leave the house without nail polish or lipstick on, and my brows are microbladed and thus maintenance free.

I grew up in a time when women wouldn't be caught dead going out without nylons on.  In my mind, hose and bras are feminine attire.

Quote from: AnneK on May 15, 2019, 06:01:15 AM
I grew up in a time when women wouldn't be caught dead going out without nylons on.  In my mind, hose and bras are feminine attire.

I can relate! I love the look and feel of nylons, except when they get runs.Likewise, I have always lived in in a culture where it was "proper" for a woman to always be wearing a bra. Also, I find bras to be confirmation of femininity. They help put my breasts where they belong, and improve my shape.

I'm in northern New York where summer lasts just a few weeks, so bras help keep me warm during most of the year. But when the temperature goes over 80F, I still wear a cami that has a "shelf bra".

Quote from: Moonflower on May 15, 2019, 07:06:28 AM
I can relate! I love the look and feel of nylons, except when they get runs.Likewise, I have always lived in in a culture where it was "proper" for a woman to always be wearing a bra. Also, I find bras to be confirmation of femininity. They help put my breasts where they belong, and improve my shape.

I'm in northern New York where summer lasts just a few weeks, so bras help keep me warm during most of the year. But when the temperature goes over 80F, I still wear a cami that has a "shelf bra".

Well, you're  just across the lake from me.  I live near Toronto.  The only time I find a bra or pantyhose to be uncomfortable is in hot, sticky weather.  I'm surprised so many women don't wear hose, when their legs look so much better with them.  There are very few women with legs nice enough that they can't be improved with hosiery.  Do these women not realize that every flaw is visible, when not wearing hose?

BTW, the first trans thing I did was "borrow" my sister's tights and later graduated to her stockings (pantyhose weren't common back then).

Quote from: Moonflower on May 15, 2019, 07:06:28 AM
I can relate! I love the look and feel of nylons, except when they get runs.Likewise, I have always lived in in a culture where it was "proper" for a woman to always be wearing a bra. Also, I find bras to be confirmation of femininity. They help put my breasts where they belong, and improve my shape.

I'm in northern New York where summer lasts just a few weeks, so bras help keep me warm during most of the year. But when the temperature goes over 80F, I still wear a cami that has a "shelf bra".

I grew up in north western Germany, not raelly one of the hot places in the world.  And I lived for about 40 years in north western Wisconsin, also not one of the hot spots.  My mother would never have left the house without bra and nylons/panty hose.
But I moved to the deep south of Florida, and live now in the eternal summer.  I learned pretty fast to do as the locals do, wear as little clothing as possible.  And because my boobs are pretty firm (the typical thing for trans women), I don't need to wear a bra to keep them in place.  I just wear some tops that ensure that the nipples don't poke out.

And believe me, unrestricted boobs are pretty comfy!

In support of reviving Susan's Place, I'm feeling the urge to revive one of my most active threads on this board.

I'm so excited about the leaps in progress that my sweetheart suddenly made! Last Fall, she began coming out to her new team of doctors. Her new PCP deliberately referred her to a trans-friendly endocrinologist for various hormone issues. Her new cardiologist disagreed with the Planned Parenthood doctor who had discouraged her from continuing on estrogen. Today, for the first time, we met with the local urologist who does reconstructive gender-affirming surgery. It went great! His nurse navigator will connect my sweetheart with the resources that she needs, including trans-friendly mental health and endocrinology. I'm so proud of her courage! I'm so pleased to be on this journey with her!

I welcome any questions. I'm eager to support your journey if you're someone who might be suddenly disappointed to discover this fact about your partner, or who might be wondering how to be supportive.

Thanks so much for coming back, Moonflower! The support you show for your partner melts my heart. It sounds like you and your partner will be taking some major steps soon, I hope everything goes smoothly.

Love always -- Jess

For an hour by video, we met with the local urologist who offers vulvoplasty. He began getting requests in 2017 from trans people whose gender confirmation surgery (done elsewhere) needed repaired. A few years later, an 80- or 90-year-old trans woman asked him to remove the dangly bits and do a minimal labia construction. He said that he made no promises about the results, but the patient was thoroughly pleased.

He began working with a plastic surgeon to do gender confirmation surgeries. The plastic surgeon left a year and a half ago. The person who replaced him refuses to do GCS, so the urologist has met with a number of other surgeons to compare procedures. He's not a plastic surgeon, so is limited in what he can do, especially regarding fat implants to make outer labia "fluffy".

He's enthusiastic about doing what he think he can. He hopes his patients will agree to be models so prospective patients can see examples of his work. He's available immediately.

His nurse navigator just changed jobs, and we're looking forward to connecting with his new one.

His admin has been helpful in the meantime. The urologist referred my sweetheart to a certain endocrinologist for HRT. When we called to schedule the appointment, the receptionist said that the endo was no longer accepting patients who had gender dysphoria. She referred us to Inclusive Health Services. We were excited. We understood that Upstate Medical Center had been developing its Transgender Services.

But when we looked at the online presence, we found that it was funded by an AIDS grant and is part of the Infectious Diseases clinic. No MD or DO. Just nurses (not NPs or PAs), social workers, and a psychiatrist. My sweetie sent a message to the urologist asking about this.

Within a couple hours, his admin said she talked with the endocrinologist, who said she'll be glad to work with my honey and will set an appointment soon. Phew!

We're taking some time to see how this all feels and consider exploring services farther from home. Getting everything from one medical center close to home feels like a huge advantage.

Breasts

I'm remembering when my chest was flat as a board as a teenager. I liked the idea that breasts were going to grow some day, but as they grew, I had second thoughts.

Now I really like having a flat chest again. It feels RIGHT. Getting rid of the cancer, for sure, was the main motivation, but more was bubbling up to the surface. As I talked with queer friends, I realized that my flat chest would mean more than cleaning out cancer. It reconnected me with my androgyny. I embraced that.

During those couple days before my surgery, I found myself mourning the loss of the breasts that nurtured my babies. Being post-menopausal, of course I would never nurse another baby, but the surgery made this fact more definite.

Today, I put on a relatively new sweater that I used to love, which is now a bit too small. I wondered what it would be like to be so conspicuously flat-chested. I felt like I was acting in support of other flat-chested women, eliminating a little bit of shame. I'm amused now as I remember my new pulmonologist reading down my lengthy list of diagnoses this morning, doubting that I truly had most of them. And then he arrived at cancer and stopped short, apologized, and said, as if he didn't believe it, "You had a mastectomy?"

I've often heard other cancer patients' surprise from the apparent fact that "no one" notices their lost body parts. Perhaps some people are so busy with their thoughts that they really don't notice. I've come across people here at Susan's who are similarly surprised when no one notices their bodies changing.

What are your thoughts, feelings, and experiences regarding gaining and removing body parts?

@Moonflower
Dear Moonflower:
I am very happy that you were able to resurrect and revive your "Opening the cage" thread.

I have followed your postings and sharing of your thoughts on this thread since you started
it back in October of 2018.  Your experiences, along with what you have stated about your
sweetheart and the life choices that you two are making together are an interesting
and a positive reading experience.

I wish both of you happiness as well as good health as you continue on.
I have put your thread in my Bookmarks so it will be always at my fingertips.

Many HUGS,
Danielle  [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Moonflower on January 05, 2024, 03:17:48 PMIn support of reviving Susan's Place, I'm feeling the urge to revive one of my most active threads on this board.

I'm so excited about the leaps in progress that my sweetheart suddenly made! Last Fall, she began coming out to her new team of doctors. Her new PCP deliberately referred her to a trans-friendly endocrinologist for various hormone issues. Her new cardiologist disagreed with the Planned Parenthood doctor who had discouraged her from continuing on estrogen. Today, for the first time, we met with the local urologist who does reconstructive gender-affirming surgery. It went great! His nurse navigator will connect my sweetheart with the resources that she needs, including trans-friendly mental health and endocrinology. I'm so proud of her courage! I'm so pleased to be on this journey with her!

I welcome any questions. I'm eager to support your journey if you're someone who might be suddenly disappointed to discover this fact about your partner, or who might be wondering how to be supportive.
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Quote from: Moonflower on January 15, 2024, 06:21:09 PMI've often heard other cancer patients' surprise from the apparent fact that "no one" notices their lost body parts. Perhaps some people are so busy with their thoughts that they really don't notice. I've come across people here at Susan's who are similarly surprised when no one notices their bodies changing.

What are your thoughts, feelings, and experiences regarding gaining and removing body parts?

My experience was similar to yours. Within the first year of my journey, I lost over 40 pounds and stopped cutting my hair. No one mentioned the weight loss, and only one person said anything about my hair. I was certain someone would notice my breasts, but no one ever said anything. As you stated, most people are just so busy with their own thoughts that they simply don't notice. One person did notice a dramatic change about a week before I came out at work, he said 'I don't know what you're doing, but you sure seem to be a lot happier lately.'

I love my new body parts, and don't miss my old ones -- except on the rare occasion when public restrooms are either very dirty or not available. My old parts were a hindrance, they prevented my clothes from fitting well and caused unexpected discomfort when not arranged properly. My new parts never bother me, and they don't have a mind of their own.

Love always -- Jess

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on January 15, 2024, 06:52:03 PMYour experiences, along with what you have stated about your sweetheart and the life choices that you two are making together are an interesting and a positive reading experience.

Comments like yours, Danielle, motivate me to keep sharing our stories. We yearn to encourage.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 16, 2024, 05:54:29 AMWithin the first year of my journey, I lost over 40 pounds and stopped cutting my hair. No one mentioned the weight loss, and only one person said anything about my hair. I was certain someone would notice my breasts, but no one ever said anything. 

That's amazing!

When do you think your newest body parts will stop being "new"? For over 40 years, my breasts surprised me as if they were still new.

Quote from: Moonflower on January 17, 2024, 05:07:22 PMThat's amazing!

When do you think your newest body parts will stop being "new"? For over 40 years, my breasts surprised me as if they were still new.

I have grown accustomed to my 'new' accessories. My breasts no longer surprise me, and my entertainment center works as it should, even though I can't find the instruction manual. When I take the time to look at my reflection, I have a difficult time believing that it's me. My heart says 'wow, she's beautiful', but my mind says 'who the hell is that?' Maybe one day my mind will figure it out. Despite the challenges, it is nice to finally be me.

Love always -- Jess

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 17, 2024, 05:25:31 PMI have grown accustomed to my 'new' accessories. My breasts no longer surprise me, and my entertainment center works as it should, even though I can't find the instruction manual. When I take the time to look at my reflection, I have a difficult time believing that it's me. My heart says 'wow, she's beautiful', but my mind says 'who the hell is that?' Maybe one day my mind will figure it out. Despite the challenges, it is nice to finally be me.

Love always -- Jess

This may seem odd, but it is difficult at many times for me to not touch my breasts.
So I am still in awe they are there.  I do not make it a sexual thing. 

Chrissy

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 17, 2024, 05:25:31 PMI have grown accustomed to my 'new' accessories. My breasts no longer surprise me, and my entertainment center works as it should, even though I can't find the instruction manual. When I take the time to look at my reflection, I have a difficult time believing that it's me. My heart says 'wow, she's beautiful', but my mind says 'who the hell is that?' Maybe one day my mind will figure it out. Despite the challenges, it is nice to finally be me.

Love always -- Jess

Jess,

That is funny (about the instruction manual.)    LOL.

Chrissy

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on January 17, 2024, 05:25:31 PMMy heart says 'wow, she's beautiful'

She is. You are. Maybe taking more time to look at your reflection will help? Feast your mind.

The instruction manual is going to have to be yours to write as you discover your features.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 17, 2024, 05:35:27 PMit is difficult at many times for me to not touch my breasts.
So I am still in awe they are there. 

As you said,

QuoteAccepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating."

Hooray for celebration!

Bummer. I finished our errands while my sweetheart hid in the car even though it was around 15°F and windy.

Our first stop had been the lab. The phlebotomist called her by her preferred name, as expected. Another phlebotomist along the way said something about going to get Beth. Our phlebotomist said, "He's Beth."

I was caught off guard. We're so used to everyone being so well trained about preferred names and pronouns. I wish I'd said, " SHE's Beth."

Oh well. Just one incident in an otherwise supportive environment.

Until we were leaving my appt. with my primary care dr. As I was checking out, the receptionist asked, "Are you with him?"

I think it might have been the super-warm men's parka. Or the brown canvas bag that she uses as a purse. She thinks it was her voice. We've gotten so used to her passing!

When we got home and recalled the day's events, she was bubbling with enthusiasm for transitioning! She's been adding to her ToDo list. I love seeing her shed her man costume and bloom!

Her man costume. How interesting that she was born on Halloween, a day of costumes. That man costume never fit her well.