Hello Norah

My name is Sarah B   and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that Lori one of our official greeters has greeted you with open arms and in addition other members namely Chrissy and Allie have also said hello.  This is one of the reasons why Susan's is such a friendly place to be.

You said in your introduction post:

Quote from: FinallyTrans on Yesterday at 08:31:32 PMHi all! After many years of holding back, I've finally decided to come out as a trans woman. It's not left my mind since I was like 10, and it's time to be myself finally. I told my therapist this week and it felt like such a weight lifted.

You have taken the first step in realising your dream in telling your therapist.  There are lots of members. where it takes them years to finally acknowledge the truth about themselves and many have memories and thoughts about being different in their childhood.

Quote from: FinallyTrans on Yesterday at 08:31:32 PMI am married, for almost 10 years, so next step is coming out to my wife. I have no idea how she will take it, I'm hopefully but readying myself for anything. I kept this in because I always worried how she would feel about me lying all of these years. I also have kids, but they are young enough to not hate me for this!

There are members who are married and have children.  How their wives and even the children accept you in coming out ranges from total acceptance to rejection.  I only had family and friends and I left them without telling them anything about me.  In other words I was prepared to lose everything.

Quote from: FinallyTrans on Yesterday at 08:31:32 PMI have always felt like a "Norah", so already settled on that name. Idk why!! But anyway, I'm hoping to meet some friends here, listen to stories, and get some advice as I move forward with my transition.

Any advice is appreciated!!

Well there is certainly nothing wrong with Norah.  There is one famous person and that name is Norah Jones, famous American singer.  So you have chosen wisely!  You will certainly meet other members on Susan's and you will also get help from them also, all you have to do is ask and they will help you as much as possible.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum or other threads and posts.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most of us have experienced these as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Sarah B
Offical Greeter
@LoriDee
@Northern Star Girl
@FinallyTrans

At the end of my session today, while I still lying on the table, my electrologist said "I'm so sorry, I have to end early today. I'll make it up to you next week."

I said "Oh my god, it's no problem."

And then I sat up put my glasses on and was able to see the time : it was 11:00 am.  My weekly hour begins each Wednesday at 10:00 am.

She was apologizing to me because this week, unlike almost ever other single week, she was NOT working on me for an additional 10, 15, 20 sometimes 30 minutes without charging me.

May each of you find someone even half as wonderful to be part of your team going forward. It would be a blessing indeed.

Quote from: LoriDee on May 07, 2024, 07:38:37 AMMy coach's initial assessment is my voice is in the mid to high male range. My laugh is similar, but my cough is awful. I gotta work on that too. 

That's a pretty good starting point, Lori!

Because the female voice isn't all about pitch... there are LOTS of women whose natural voice is right in that range you are in... but it's then a lot about the shape of your voice, meaning... pitch variability -- male voices tend to be more monotone, while female voices tend to move up and down the vocal range.

And you'll work on resonance... trying to feel your voice coming from your throat and not your chest... "raising up" your voice, and "opening up" your voice, so to speak... which adds more air to the way you speak.

I really enjoyed voice training and it just takes a few weeks for things to kind of click in place... and then it takes a lot longer to really perfect it, I'm sure. I know that once I'm presenting in public I am certain I will need to go back to my coach for a refresher to make sure I'm on the right path.

Good luck and so glad you're having fun!!!!

Glad to hear an arrest is imminent... if only to prevent this from happening to anyone else. I'm so very you've had to deal with all this.

Love,
Allie

Chappell Roan is an amazing new queer artist. The official music video for her song "Casual" is great!

https://youtu.be/AfSjnsYiY_A?si=4Y3QrW2XmLcfQZtd

Thanks Gina and Courtney. As I said, it isn't ideal, but I'm doing the best I can.  And, I have found that loving myself goes a long way towards not suffering. I spent decades hurting a lot, mainly self inflicted pain.

I worried a lot about being rejected by my parents and sisters.  Now, my father has passed, my mother has dementia, and my sisters and their children have completely shut me out of their lives.  But, while quite disappointing , it isn't really making me unhappy. 

Rejection doesn't hurt so bad when you love yourself.  I don't need other people's approval, I just need to do right in my own eyes.  For me, that includes doing what I believe God wants me to do.  I don't know what God wants me to do about Gender Dysphoria. But, I do know a lot of things I can do.  I can be kind, and helpful, and loving towards the people who choose to be around.  I can help the poor.  I can treat others as I would want to be treated.  And, I can try to be a positive force in the lives of those who allow it.

I'd love to relax in my favorite cloths, but not being able to isn't making me unhappy. Having my wife know that I am trans, and that I don't have to hide that fact from her and that she loves me is good.

Hey Norah - welcome!!

There are lots of great people here, and everyone will, of course, be happy to share our stories with you! You can read lots about everyone's successes and failures and everything in between... and ask as many questions as you like and it's really a wonderful community. You found the right place!

I would like to make one suggestion though? Not that long ago I was sort of where you were... only a bit deeper (in that I was married for nearly 30 years when I decided it was time). And the single best decision I made in this whole process was starting by connecting with a gender therapist.

I spent time understand MYSELF. Learning to forgive myself for all of this... to make all the disparate pieces of my life fit into the narrative that so clearly show that I was born trans, and dealing with this in one way or another since my earliest memories. Your journey, of course, will be different.

However, my point is - once I got THAT part accomplished, I spent time on the biggest thing, how/when to tell my wife. You only get ONE chance to have the biggest conversation of your life. So doesn't it make sense to do everything you can to prepare as much as you possibly can and give yourself the best possible chance of a positive outcome? There's obviously never a guarantee of anything... but if you have spent time with a therapist understanding yourself and preparing for the moment, at least you'll know you did everything within your power to give you the best chance of succeeding... and to make the event as comfortable and loving for your wife as you could.

I know that's a lot to take in, and I know how excited you are ... there's a thrilling nature to having decided that you're ready and wanting the rest of your life to start tomorrow. But all I am humbly suggesting is that maybe consider having what I mentioned be how you take that first step!

Welcome to the community! Hope to see you around!!

Love,
Allie

Hello Lilis!

Welcome to Susan's Place. You will find friendly people here with all kinds of experience. If you need information, advice, or support, we are here for you. As you check out other member's stories on their personal blogs, you may find experiences similar to your own. Perhaps you could start your own Member Blog to keep us up to date on what's happening with you. Share only what you are comfortable with, this is the internet. Glad to have you join us!

Lori Dee

Wow, Jessica.

You do have your plate full. I can understand better what you are going through now. Just remember to hit the pause button now and then. Take time for yourself and unwind a bit.

Hugs!

@FinallyTrans

Hello Norah,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Congratulations! That is a big step and we all wish you the best. Since you are new here, allow me to give you our standard welcome with lots of information. Now that you have introduced yourself, perhaps you will want to start your own Member's Blog. That serves as your home here at Susan's where friends and followers can see how things are going with you, offer support and advice, or just stay in touch.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and to share your thoughts and comments. We all come from different backgrounds and represent a wide range of experiences. No matter who you may be, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

Please review the links at the end of this message, they include information that will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile. Until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at  LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee

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@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl