Susan's Place Transgender Resources

From my earliest memories, I knew that I was different. I didn't know in what way, just different. My behaviors seemed to be misunderstood. They thought I was doing x when I was trying to do y. There were times when I was convinced that I was some kind of alien sent to Earth to observe humans. In the third grade, I spent recess periods in the nurse's office, not due to injury, but as "protective custody" from the bullies who found it entertaining to assault me daily, both verbally and physically. I confided in a friend that I did not understand why this was happening, and he told me that it was because "I cried like a girl" and they were amused by it. I vowed then and there to never cry again.

The physical assaults moved off-campus and the bullies would catch me walking home from school and beat on me. My parents' efforts in talking to the school and the parents of the bullies had no effect. I had three younger brothers (I am the oldest) and my dad decided to teach us boxing so we could defend ourselves. As the oldest, the only people I had to spar with were my younger brothers. One pop to the face, down they went with a bloody nose. Mom put an end to that right there while telling me how I was responsible for looking after them, not giving them bloody noses. My only form of self-defense was running away. I became VERY good at running. By Middle School, I made the track team.

As a teen, I had no interest in sex. I had enough lectures from my parents about morality, teen pregnancy, etc. and I found that I enjoyed hanging out with girls. They were doing something meaningful: communicating with each other, while the boys were just interested in football, wrestling, and fighting. Of course, what they saw was this nerdy guy hanging out with "their" girlfriends, while they were busy trying to impress the other guys. They thought I was trying to move in on their girls. This resulted in more physical confrontation and more running practice for me.

Later, my parents divorced and remarried. My stepfather was an abusive monster who would constantly call me names like "Mary" or "sissy". It was him that convinced me that to avoid harassment I had to "man up". I began working in his welding shop until I could find an escape.

I tried to think of the manliest job I could come up with and I would strive to get there. Back in the late 1960s and early 70s, nobody knew much about transgender people. In my world, there were two options. You were either gay or straight, and if you were gay, you got a beating. I knew I wasn't gay because I was not attracted to men, women, or anything. I recognize beauty and handsomeness, but I never looked at someone and thought that I would like to have sex with them. I decided that the manliest job that I could get would be to join the Army. The recruiter had no openings for the nerdy things I was interested in, like computers. He showed me three brochures: Infantry, Artillery, and Armor. Infantry involved a lot of walking. Artillery was big cannons, but that would mean hauling big bullets. Armor. Tanks. Big guns with no walking and the tank hauls its own ammo. YES. Give me a tank!

During basic training, I learned some very valuable lessons. 1. Never volunteer for anything. 2. Never admit to any skills you might possess. 3. Everyone is anti-gay, so you better be too. I learned very quickly to "man up" and do the things that were expected of a manly man. It was the perfect camouflage. I also learned how to "play the game". The military does some strange things that make no sense. "Hurry up and Wait". Don't use soap dishes, ashtrays, or trash cans because they get dirty and won't pass inspection. The only way to escape living in the barracks with a bunch of guys and no privacy was to get promoted to Sergeant. The only way to get promoted was to play the game better than anyone else. So I did. I practiced every military skill to make sure that I was the absolute best. I didn't want to be the best in my unit, I wanted to be the best in the entire Army.

My efforts paid off. I was promoted to "Acting Sergeant" months before I was eligible for promotion. Upon eligibility, I passed all the boards with flying colors and was assigned as the gunner on the company commander's tank. This brought about new challenges because I had to be the best tank gunner in the world AND I was now in a leadership position. I got moved out to private living quarters and I was not about to jeopardize that.

The Army sent me to various leadership training schools and I was in the top 10% every time. I had to. I needed to maintain my image of being the Super Soldier. I excelled in marksmanship and fell into shooting competitions that eventually led to international shooting tournaments. This earned me various awards and added to my camouflage as a manly man. My skills were not just with pistols, rifles, and machine guns, my tank crew was rated top in our battalion. My commanders took notice. They wanted me to train the rest of the company the way I trained myself and my crew. They put me in charge of company training, but it was more of a management position. I didn't determine what training needed to be done, only how to do it. I trained the trainers, and they trained their troops. I was sent to Fort Knox, Kentucky to attend Master Gunner School. That was a tough course. Scoring in the top 10% was mandatory for graduation. Score less than 90 on any test and they send you home. We started with 53 candidates and graduated 13. I was then assigned as the Master Gunner/Operations NCO.

When I left the service, I was awarded the Meritorious Service Medal (the peacetime equivalent of the Bronze Star). Although I was proud to serve my country and happy with my achievements, I was not happy and I could not understand why.

[more to follow]

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
I was captivated by your first post on your new Blog Thread "The Story of Lori"
You did all the things that you needed to do to "survive" and even flourish as you were biding your time to get yourself ahead in the Army.

Your Blog thread is your journal and becomes your "HOME" here on the Forum where members can find you and catch up with your life endeavors.

I not only keep my Blog thread frequently updated but I also keep a private (for my eyes only) personal journal at home... an "old school" pen&paper three ring binder (not a fancy journal book with a nice cover) stuffed with barely legible notes, snapshot photos, memorable greeting cards and letters that my friends have given to me, etc ....  On cold nights I can found sitting in my comfortable chair in front of my fireplace reading over and over my past entries, many times with tears in my eyes. 

When you share your "good news" all of us on the Forum will rejoice with you... and if you report "not-so-news" we will offer our shoulder for you to lean on.

Along with your avid readers and followers, I will be eagerly looking for your future postings as you unravel your continuing "The Story of Lori" and also your postings with your comments and thoughts around the various threads on the Forum.

Many HUGS, and more HUGS
Danielle   [Northern Star Girl]

While in the service, my tank crew worked very closely as a team. We became very good friends. One of my friends who was in my platoon, later arrived at my new unit when I was transferred to Germany. As we were already old friends, we hung out a lot. Rumors began to spread that possibly we were a "couple". Working so closely with members of my unit, it is easy to notice who is dating, who is married, who is the drinker, the athlete, or the nerd. One thing that was noticed about me was that I didn't date anyone, ever. In a strong hetero community, this raised questions. My old friend was married and he would jokingly tell me that I needed to get laid. I couldn't tell him that I had no interest in that. But this brought up a chink in my armor, a hole in my camouflage. It is not about appearance alone. I needed to shape myself to fit the mold so I did not stand out and attract attention.

Drinking and dating were added to my agenda. I hung out with the guys in the bars, with their girlfriends and mine. This led to a more serious relationship, marriage, and children. What could be more normal than that?

My efforts to excel in my career came at the cost of always being away from home, either at school or on some assignment. She would get lonely while I was gone, which led to affairs, which led to divorce. I did love her, but could not tolerate disloyalty. I understood her position and sympathized. I tried to make the divorce as painless as possible, more like a mutual agreement to separate. It did not go well.

I have two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. Both are grown and have kids of their own. I am not in contact with them due to a painfully bitter divorce.

Wife #2 was an alcoholic. She had a traumatic childhood in a dysfunctional family, which affected her desire for sex, and that was okay with me. Sex was never important to me. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I most certainly do. It just wasn't a priority in my life. We loved each other and were together for 15 years. She was with me when I left the service.

The VA awarded a disability pension, but I wanted to work. I worked as an Electronics Technician, specializing in alarm systems (fire, burglar, nurse call), then expanded to include computer network wiring, telephone/intercom, commercial sound systems, and master clocks in schools. One cold morning in December, I slipped on some ice in my driveway and fell. I damaged disks in my neck and required fusion of the vertebrae. My neurosurgeon told me that I was done. Total disability. The battle with Social Security took 18 months. Without sufficient income the stress levels on my wife and I were through the roof. And as if we didn't have enough going on we had a family tragedy. Her son committed suicide and she never recovered from that. Her drinking escalated and she died in a Chicago hospital waiting for a liver transplant.

Wife #3 saved my life. I was in bankruptcy and foreclosure, on the brink of being homeless, and living on $100 per month from the VA. The death of my wife left me with huge burdens and a very uncertain future. She was a friend who wanted to move closer to work, and I needed a place to live. She suggested that we get a place together. She agreed to cover expenses until my disability came through.

She kept pressuring me suggesting we should get married. Her parents were old-fashioned and disapproved of their daughter "shacking up" with some unemployed dude. I tried to explain that I did not want to be married. It has not worked out well for me. All she heard was "I don't want to marry YOU." That was not the case at all. She had been very good to me and I loved her so we got married.

Over time, our differences became magnified. We had no common interests. I would try to be involved in her interests, but I was struggling with pain issues and popping Vicodin like Skittles. I never liked the idea of being labeled as "disabled". We began different side businesses at home that I could help with. I enjoyed selling candles and jewelry, but my pain levels prevented me from doing as much as I wanted.

I began looking for alternative ways for pain management. I tried acupuncture, herbal teas, and deep tissue massages. Nothing worked. I read an article about a dentist who had a hypnotist in his clinic who would hypnotize his patients so they could do dental work without anesthesia. The patients reported no pain. I began researching this and enrolled in the HMI College of Hypnotherapy. I had just finished certification as a Clinical Hypnotist when one of my classmates told me about an international college that was looking for students for their online courses. He and I enrolled in the International College for Clinical Hypnosis Practioners. I became certified as a Hypnotherapist in the U.S. and the U.K. and I opened a clinic specializing in pain management.

Wife #3 was not impressed with any of this and seemed extremely jealous of my female patients. Arguments ensued and she believed that the reason I "never wanted to be married" was so I could play the field. My camouflage as the "manly man" was working against me. She saw the role I was so aptly playing, believed it, and automatically assumed I was using my testosterone outside of the marriage. She had an old boyfriend come back to town and no longer had time for me. We agreed to a peaceful divorce.

I had been traveling to South Dakota in the summers as I was learning about gold prospecting. Spending a month camping turned into a couple of months, then spending the entire summer there. I love South Dakota and vowed to move here, retire, and spend my time gold prospecting. I sold my hypnotherapy practice and bought an old pickup truck. I spent one winter building a camper on the back with full insulation, electric lights and heat, and a propane stove. I moved in May and lived in the forest until my apartment became available in November. I filed for divorce and put the past in the past.

In my mind, I was now living the dream. Retired, free to do as I pleased. But I still was not happy. I began to reminisce and concluded that I had not been happy at any time in my life. Sure, I had happy moments, but overall I was not a happy person. I went looking for help.

[more to follow]

You're a good storyteller. The story clip-clops along with enough details for spice.

Quote from: LoriDee on February 23, 2024, 09:53:26 AMFrom my earliest memories, I knew that I was different. I didn't know in what way, just different. My behaviors seemed to be misunderstood. They thought I was doing x when I was trying to do y. There were times when I was convinced that I was some kind of alien sent to Earth to observe humans. In the third grade, I spent recess periods in the nurse's office, not due to injury, but as "protective custody" from the bullies who found it entertaining to assault me daily, both verbally and physically. I confided in a friend that I did not understand why this was happening, and he told me that it was because "I cried like a girl" and they were amused by it. I vowed then and there to never cry again.

The physical assaults moved off-campus and the bullies would catch me walking home from school and beat on me. My parents' efforts in talking to the school and the parents of the bullies had no effect. I had three younger brothers (I am the oldest) and my dad decided to teach us boxing so we could defend ourselves. As the oldest, the only people I had to spar with were my younger brothers. One pop to the face, down they went with a bloody nose. Mom put an end to that right there while telling me how I was responsible for looking after them, not giving them bloody noses. My only form of self-defense was running away. I became VERY good at running. By Middle School, I made the track team.

As a teen, I had no interest in sex. I had enough lectures from my parents about morality, teen pregnancy, etc. and I found that I enjoyed hanging out with girls. They were doing something meaningful: communicating with each other, while the boys were just interested in football, wrestling, and fighting. Of course, what they saw was this nerdy guy hanging out with "their" girlfriends, while they were busy trying to impress the other guys. They thought I was trying to move in on their girls. This resulted in more physical confrontation and more running practice for me.

Later, my parents divorced and remarried. My stepfather was an abusive monster who would constantly call me names like "Mary" or "sissy". It was him that convinced me that to avoid harassment I had to "man up". I began working in his welding shop until I could find an escape.

I tried to think of the manliest job I could come up with and I would strive to get there. Back in the late 1960s and early 70s, nobody knew much about >-bleeped-<. In my world, there were two options. You were either gay or straight, and if you were gay, you got a beating. I knew I wasn't gay because I was not attracted to men, women, or anything. I recognize beauty and handsomeness, but I never looked at someone and thought that I would like to have sex with them. I decided that the manliest job that I could get would be to join the Army. The recruiter had no openings for the nerdy things I was interested in, like computers. He showed me three brochures: Infantry, Artillery, and Armor. Infantry involved a lot of walking. Artillery was big cannons, but that would mean hauling big bullets. Armor. Tanks. Big guns with no walking and the tank hauls its own ammo. YES. Give me a tank!

During basic training, I learned some very valuable lessons. 1. Never volunteer for anything. 2. Never admit to any skills you might possess. 3. Everyone is anti-gay, so you better be too. I learned very quickly to "man up" and do the things that were expected of a manly man. It was the perfect camouflage. I also learned how to "play the game". The military does some strange things that make no sense. "Hurry up and Wait". Don't use soap dishes, ashtrays, or trash cans because they get dirty and won't pass inspection. The only way to escape living in the barracks with a bunch of guys and no privacy was to get promoted to Sergeant. The only way to get promoted was to play the game better than anyone else. So I did. I practiced every military skill to make sure that I was the absolute best. I didn't want to be the best in my unit, I wanted to be the best in the entire Army.

My efforts paid off. I was promoted to "Acting Sergeant" months before I was eligible for promotion. Upon eligibility, I passed all the boards with flying colors and was assigned as the gunner on the company commander's tank. This brought about new challenges because I had to be the best tank gunner in the world AND I was now in a leadership position. I got moved out to private living quarters and I was not about to jeopardize that.

The Army sent me to various leadership training schools and I was in the top 10% every time. I had to. I needed to maintain my image of being the Super Soldier. I excelled in marksmanship and fell into shooting competitions that eventually led to international shooting tournaments. This earned me various awards and added to my camouflage as a manly man. My skills were not just with pistols, rifles, and machine guns, my tank crew was rated top in our battalion. My commanders took notice. They wanted me to train the rest of the company the way I trained myself and my crew. They put me in charge of company training, but it was more of a management position. I didn't determine what training needed to be done, only how to do it. I trained the trainers, and they trained their troops. I was sent to Fort Knox, Kentucky to attend Master Gunner School. That was a tough course. Scoring in the top 10% was mandatory for graduation. Score less than 90 on any test and they send you home. We started with 53 candidates and graduated 13. I was then assigned as the Master Gunner/Operations NCO.

When I left the service, I was awarded the Meritorious Service Medal (the peacetime equivalent of the Bronze Star). Although I was proud to serve my country and happy with my achievements, I was not happy and I could not understand why.

[more to follow]

LoriDee,

Thank you for your military service.  I will read through your blog in more detail and may comment, right now I need to actually be off of here and finish up something.
But I did want to thank you right now for your service to our country.

Chrissy

A tale well-told, and just another example of how each of us arrives her through our own unique narrative.

Bonus points for the pleasant, rhyming title. I feel like the phrase  "The Story of Lori" could easily be repeated over and over as a vocal warmup.😘

One of the first lessons we learned about therapy is that a good therapist will see a therapist. Psychologists see a psychologist and psychiatrists see a psychiatrist. There is nothing unusual about this. When you are trying to help someone through a trauma, they unburden themselves onto you. You must then have someone to talk to for the same reason. Additionally, if you have a situation that you are unsure how to handle, a mentor or colleague might be able to give advice.

In school, it was required for us to have a mentor. My classmate who recommended the course in England was quite competitive, so we talked frequently and helped each other. He lived in London, so we stayed in touch via Skype. I established my practice in Illinois but he moved to Thailand to study Eastern philosophy. He and I were very different in the way we approached problems and the methods we used to solve them. That made him a good therapist for me. I think someone who perceived things or did things similar to me would be too easy to agree with me. I needed a different viewpoint.

During one of our weekly meetings, where we got caught up on each other's personal lives, he suggested that I might want to talk to a local therapist in a face-to-face meeting. He said that he felt that I might be dealing with something that he would not be able to help me with. I took his advice and began meeting with a therapist. After a few months, the therapist told me something similar, that I should probably speak with a licensed psychologist, that she did not feel she was qualified to help me go further in my therapy. She suggested a psychologist that she knew and I met with him.

I explained to him that I was trying to examine my behaviors and figure out what was wrong with me. Why was I not happy? Why do I have no desire to be in a "normal" relationship? I did not blame others. In my marriages and other relationships, I was the common factor. It's hard to assume you are right and everyone else is wrong. So what was wrong with me? No matter where I went or what I did, I did not feel "normal" or like I fit in. We began a very in-depth examination of my life. It seemed like I was finally gaining some insight when disaster struck (again).

I was out goldpanning and pulled a muscle in my back. It was very painful, so I packed up my gear and began the long hike out of a very steep canyon. It began to rain and the rocks were getting slippery as I climbed a near-vertical ascent up to the parking area. I slipped on a rock and slid a short distance, but was okay. After I got home, my elbow began hurting. When I fell I landed on my elbow but did not notice at the time. I had my doctor check it out. After many tests, I needed surgery. They did an ulnar nerve transposition, which means they moved my funny bone. My only insurance was Medicare at the time, so I got hit with copays, coinsurance, and deductibles. My finances took a big hit, so my therapy sessions got put on hold.

My disability rating from the VA is due to a back injury that prevented me from doing some things but was not considered total disability. My back was still bothering me and I couldn't afford physical therapy on my arm and my back. I went to the VA to see if they could cover my physical therapy. I didn't know it, but in the decades since I had left the service the VA's policy had changed. Doc said that my disability rating was enough to cover all of my medical costs, including mental health services.

Wait. What?

Including mental health services? Absolutely.

I began seeing a VA psychologist. I permitted my previous psychologist to send his notes so we could dig right into where I left off. Sort of. Every therapist has their methodology and point of view. My new psychologist never looked at the notes. We started from scratch.

I won't embarrass myself and bore you to tears by detailing what went on in those sessions, and they were intense. But I will share what I learned. Maybe as you have been following along, wondering why I brought up this or that, or maybe you related to it, what I learned will kind of explain what was happening.

His observations had him thinking that I might be transgender. I rejected that outright. I am not gay. So we spent many sessions teaching me what gender dysphoria was and what it was not. I had to learn the difference between biological sex, gender identity, and sexual preference. As he explained, I began to remember things I learned in school about personality, identity, id, and ego. I learned about medical conditions that affect the body's sensitivity to hormones. I learned that DNA is not "binary" as many would have us believe. There is more than just XX and XY. There is also XXY and XYY even though those cases are rare. He allowed me to ask questions, never forcing any ideas upon me, just allowing me to reach my own conclusions. Things started to make sense. He said that in his opinion, I would be described as "asexual trans feminine".

All my life I viewed myself as a girl, but not in a sexual way. My astrological sign is Virgo, the Virgin. That is how I saw myself, feminine but not sexually so. When forced into stereotypical male roles I was very uncomfortable, but I fully understood the consequences if I failed. Later I learned how to fit in and at least appear normal.

I finally asked my psychologist if there was some kind of test that would help me figure out if I am transgender, and he said YES! The test is very simple. We start with Hormone Therapy. Many call it  Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), but in this case, it is FHT (Feminizing Hormone Therapy). Do the hormones for 30 days. If there is ANY sign that this is not right, STOP immediately. Watch for depression, suicidal thoughts, moodiness, and anything that seems like something isn't right. If you experience any of these things, we will stop and look in another direction to figure out what is going on. I continued in therapy for two years before I agreed to take the test. During that time, I began studying on my own to learn all about what I was going through and what this all meant. I stumbled onto a website filled with information, anecdotes, and advice from REAL PEOPLE who were going through the same thing. It is called Susan's Place. Maybe you've heard of it?

I began taking hormones on 11 January 2020 and I feel great! Physically, I felt good, mentally I felt good. All signs pointed to THIS IS IT!

My next obstacle... the VA already knew, but how do I come out to friends and family?

[more to follow]

Hello Lori,

Your story is captivating!  Both because it so well composed but also because we all have lived similar lives.  Thank you for sharing and I'm looking forward to your next installments! 


Warmly,

Brooke 

Hi Lori

You mentioned the following in one of your posts:

Quote from: LoriDee on February 24, 2024, 12:02:33 AMI stumbled onto a website filled with information, anecdotes, and advice from REAL PEOPLE who were going through the same thing. It is called Susan's Place. Maybe you've heard of it?

Is it any good?

Quote from: LoriDee on February 24, 2024, 12:02:33 AMI began taking hormones on 11 January 2020 and I feel great! Physically, I felt good, mentally I felt good. All signs pointed to THIS IS IT!

About bloody time, your story is fascinating Lori, will wait with abated breath for further installments.

Quote from: LoriDee on February 24, 2024, 12:02:33 AMMy next obstacle... the VA already knew, but how do I come out to friends and family?

VA already knew?

Tell one member of the family and Chinese whispers will ensue.

Best Wishes and Hugs
Sarah B

I have always been an introvert. My psychologist says that it is at least partly due to past traumas. I learned early on how to be alone without being lonely. I had to. In Middle School, I was introduced to the works of Edgar Allan Poe. The beginning of his poem, "Alone" brought me to tears.

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov'd—I lov'd alone—

I would always have a few friends, but no one that I could really share my innermost feelings with. I tried with my spouses, but there was no way to explain what I did not understand myself. In two years of therapy, I began to learn what I was going through enough to accept that this is who I am. I learned enough that I could explain it to someone if they were willing to listen with an open mind.

The VA already knew that I was transgender. My Primary Care Physician submitted the consult to Mental Health Services. My Psychologist entered a diagnosis of "Gender Dysphoria" and recommended hormone therapy. This brought me back to my Primary, who then submitted a consult to Endocrinology to begin hormone therapy... medications being filled through the VA Pharmacy, and lab technicians who draw blood to monitor said hormones. So my entire Health Care Team was on board, and it was all documented in my health records. But no one else had a clue.

[SIDEBAR] Why do we call it "Gender" Dysphoria? We do not have a problem with our gender. It is Body Dysphoria, and it applies to people who are not transgender as well. We don't try to change our gender, we change our bodies to match our gender. [End Sidebar]

I am a very introspective person. I often think about my behaviors, appearance, and spirituality. Usually overthinking everything. I had gone through the process of accepting who I was and decided that I would no longer play the role I had been forced into my entire life. I was going to be ME.

BUT... (why is there always a but?) In my introspection, I often play the "What if?" game.

What if I tell everyone that I am transgender, and some new test comes along that proves conclusively that I am not?
What if my psychologist was WAY off base?

How do you go back and say "Oops, my bad"?
I don't think there would be any way to recover from that, except maybe to blame it on a brain tumor or something. This weighed heavily on my mind. I even asked my psychologist about this. I asked him how he knew that I am transgender and not a transvestite. Both are classified under the category of transvestism. He said, "We already covered that." Oh?
"Yes. Textbook transvestites are sexually aroused from cross-dressing, and you told me that you are not aroused, just comfortable as if it were nothing different."

Back and forth we went. I finally confessed that I had not come out to anyone and wasn't sure it was even necessary. He disagreed. So we drew up a sheet of Pros and Cons that I was to think over and fill in over the next month. The basic questions were:

1. By telling _______, how will that change their life? How will it change mine?
2. By not telling ________, how will that change their life? How will it change mine?

It was not as easy as it looked. I changed that list many, many times. And still got it wrong.
I jumped on the second question first because that is the easiest. If I don't tell anybody, nobody knows and neither of us is affected. Easy.

But if I tell _____, then they will change their opinion of me. I could lose a friend/family member. Can I live with that? Hmmm. I don't know.

Eventually, the hormones will kick in and it will be difficult to hide my new look. WAIT!
If I hide who I am, play the role expected of me, then nothing has changed. That is obviously not the answer either.

I kept debating this with myself back and forth for months. In the meantime, I had set up a second email address as Lori Dee. I played a lot of online video games and expressed myself through that persona.

I expected the biggest resistance to come from my step-mother. She is a wonderful person, but a devout Catholic. If she disapproves of anything, my dad will follow suit. Next would be my brother. I have two living younger brothers. We lost the youngest in a tragedy when we were all kids. The oldest of the two did some despicable things to me decades ago and we haven't spoken since. My youngest brother and I were always close. I will try to broach the subject with him and maybe get some ideas about how to talk to my dad about this.

My brother is an Over-The-Road truck driver. Occasionally, his route will bring him into town, so we have a chance to catch up. COVID happened and we decided to pause meeting in person for a bit. He is a fundamentalist Christian with VERY strong opinions. When we did meet up, we barely got through the small talk and he began criticizing the words I used. I hadn't even gotten to a point where I could bring up important stuff. I had said "goddamn" and he heard me taking the Lord's name in vain. I told him it was one word not two. He rolled his eyes and I agreed to work on it. I waited on talking to him about more important issues

Several months went by and I sent my mom & dad an email. Just basic catching up, this is what happened this week kind of stuff. I am a gold prospector and they enjoy seeing photos of the Black Hills and reading about how much gold I hauled in that week. I hit send and realized that I had sent it to them from the wrong email address. [insert panic attack]

I quickly sent an email from my dead-name address explaining that I just used the wrong address. My dad called me and wanted to ask questions. Why are you using an alias? I told him everything. I was three years into HRT and five years since I started therapy. He had a lot of questions and I explained it as best I could.

The next day, I got an email from my mom. Here we go. She said that they would support me no matter what I was going through. If I preferred, they would address me as "Lori" and the bottom line is that I am loved no matter what. I was shocked, but it was SO welcomed.

Next, I got a phone call from my dad. He assured me that he loves me dearly, BUT...
he was there when I was born and I will ALWAYS be his SON. I tried to explain the difference between sex and gender but he had other things to do rather than listen to me. And he insisted on calling me "Larry".

I sent an email to my mom. I thanked her for being so supportive and agreeing to address me by my LEGAL NAME. I assured her that I understood that it did not mean she agreed with what I am doing, or even that she understands what I am doing. The fact that she was willing to try to comply with my wishes was greatly appreciated. After that, Dad changed his mind on how he should interact with me. He tries to call me Lori.

My brother called and told me that he and other family members were setting up a 50th wedding anniversary party for my parents. He invited me to join and help out. Time to tell him. I explained that my appearance had changed dramatically since he last saw me, and told him the whole story. His last words to me were that I was "an abomination in the eyes of God" and that he was angry. He would never accept this. I told him I understood his feelings and that his reasoning was flawed. He has no authority to speak on behalf of God, and his refusal to accept me is due to his lack of knowledge on the subject. I said I will always love you, Brother. And he hung up.

Next was my cousin. Her father, my dad's brother, always lived fairly close to us. All of us kids grew up together. My brothers and I had no sisters, and my cousin had no brothers, so we got along more as siblings than cousins. I was talking to her on the phone and told her I had something important to tell her. I told her the story, the abridged version, not what I have been sharing here. She was delighted! Our conversation quickly changed to clothes and make-up and such. She begged me to send her pictures. I had taken a few over the years and sent her those. She called me back and said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you are a prettier girl than you were a handsome man." Made my day.  ;D

Next, I called her dad, my favorite uncle. By then, word had spread. I told him my story. He asked a few questions, then said he didn't care what I did. It is MY life and he would love and support me no matter what. He has always been there for my family and I really thought he might become distant. Nothing changed. We are just as close as ever.

In a recent conversation with my dad, he brought up that I had "hid" this from him for years. I explained my Pros and Cons list and why I waited. He said that I had forgotten something that was a very important factor. In my deliberations, I never gave him a chance to decide for himself. By not being forthcoming, I was almost being dishonest. I assured him that I am no different now than I have been all my life. The only difference is that now he has information, intimate details, about my life that I had never shared before with anyone.

The moral of this story is that no matter how much you overthink it, it all boils down to honesty. When you deceive others, you are also deceiving yourself. Our entire transition is about being true to ourselves about who we are. Be honest with others too. Let them decide if they will accept it or not.

Some will accept it. Some will accept it and be supportive. Some will have nothing to do with you anymore. Do you need that negativity in your life? Probably not. Surround yourself with loving people who accept you for who you are. Everyone else is basing their decisions on appearances, bigotry, and/or misinformation. Help them understand. But allow them the courtesy to decide if they want to be a part of your life. It is YOUR life after all. Live it!

I'd love to change my gender.  I don't know how.  I don't think anyone else does either.  Transitioning is all I have been offered. 

Quote from: REM.1126 on February 25, 2024, 10:09:36 PMI'd love to change my gender.  I don't know how.  I don't think anyone else does either.  Transitioning is all I have been offered. 

Your gender is a facet of your identity. You can no more change it than you can change your soul. It is who you are in this lifetime. There are psychological techniques that can be used to alter or disguise your gender, but it would just be a facade. You cannot be happy if you are being untrue to your self. I can explain why that is, but it would be beyond the scope of this blog. I may address some of these issues over in the Spirituality section at a later date.

Quote from: REM.1126 on February 25, 2024, 10:09:36 PMI'd love to change my gender.  I don't know how.  I don't think anyone else does either.  Transitioning is all I have been offered. 

We were born female. An unfortunate birth defect caused us to be 'assigned male at birth'. It took us a long time to discover the error, even though we knew something was wrong for decades. Now we have a choice. We can either continue living the charade we've been forced to live by family and society, or we can allow our soul to escape the darkness in which it has been imprisoned since birth. Both options are painful, but one option will allow us to find the happiness we have sought for most of our life.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

In my case, I don't sense that I was born female.  I am not non-binary, I like the binary and want to be in the female side.  But, I was born mixed. 

My neurology was and is feminine (according to the radiologist that looked at my CTScan).  He wouldn't believe the images were my brain, and kept insisting a mistake had been made because this was clearly a female patient's brain, and I was clearly not female.  When he finally became convinced it was me, he was embarrassed and literally ran down the hall, telling me I was ok and he left the room. 

But, anatomically I was born male.  I have a DSD.  My body doesn't produce some needed hormones for sexual development.  Without medication, my T levels are too low to be detected.  The lab ran them repeatedly, each technician thinking the others had messed up the test. 

My body is mixed.  My gender is feminine.  My neurology is feminine, my genitalia is masculine (ridiculously small, but masculine nonetheless).

Not that it matters, but I don't want to be mixed.  I want to be happy one way or the other.  I guess there is some non-binary person who would be delighted with my body. 

Another well-told installment, Lori. Still estranged from your truck-driving brother?*

Thanks for sharing this:

"From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov'd—I lov'd alone—"

So apt.



*Taking the Lord's name in vain means much more than Christians think. If I fail to complete a novel, I wrote in vain. If I secretly pine for someone, I love in vain. If a Christian beseeches God for divine intervention and Heaven is silent, that person asked in vain, WHICH happens countless times everyday. Applying my above average understanding of language, the Bible warns us to NOT ASK God for gifts in vain.

The etymology of vanity is "that which is vain, futile, or worthless."


So, don't treat God as a concierge, a gofer, or personal assistant. To do so is the veriest vanity.

Lori, wonderful post.

What struck me, probably because I'm at the phase of telling folks, is the idea of people being upset that we were lying and/or keeping this from them for years and/or decades.

I think of all the things people could be upset with me about, that is the one I am best equipped to handle. I can't speak for all of us, but I would think most would feel similarly - if I was lying to anyone for an extended period of time, it was to myself, first and foremost.

It was only when I finally started telling myself the truth, did I immediately start to get a handle on what the truth actually was, so I could share it with the important people in my life.

Years ago, every sentence would have been couched with "I think..." and "I hope not, but.." and every other sort of equivocation and naïveté.  That wouldn't have done anyone any good.

Again, thanks for being so thoughtful and open, and sharing your story.

Love,
Allie

@ Oldandcreaky

Yes, he has still not contacted me. I have heard through the rumor mill that he is being "openly unsupportive" for lack of a better term. I feel sorry for people who have such closed minds. They fail to learn things and then become prone to repeat their mistakes. If he comes around, I will accept any apology offered. If not... my life goes on.

QuoteYes, he has still not contacted me.

^This^ speaks to his character.

QuoteI will accept any apology offered.

^This^ speaks to your character.

Yesterday, I met with my new Gynecologist. I had been under the care of an Endocrinologist. When she retired from the VA they had no more Endocrinology Department. They transferred my care to a community (non-VA) provider. Now (2024) they have a new policy that all care will be handled within the VA if the services are available. They canceled my authorization to continue with the Endocrinologist and brought me in-house to the Women's Health Department.

I was pretty upset that they did this without asking me how I felt about it, or even bothering to tell me they were doing it. I found out when they scheduled the appointment.

Anyway... while I was being bounced around among Endocrinology departments, my new Gynecologist was on hiatus in Europe studying transgender medicine. She is now back and the VA brought me under her care. She is a wonderful woman. My appointment was scheduled for one hour since I was technically a new patient to her. We covered my history, issues I have had with various medicines (oral vs patches), other concerns I had, and what my goals were. She spent two hours with me.

One of the issues is electrolysis. No one in this area does it. My Dermatologist attempted laser hair removal, but my beard is gray. She told me I must have electrolysis. The Medical Chief of Staff agreed that it would be "medically necessary" for MtF transgender veterans. Over the past three years, I have begged them to find a way to send me wherever I need to go to get it done. They are the Federal Government. If the only place available is in Puerto Rico, then why am I not on a plane?

I also told her that about three years ago I asked about voice training. My Endo at that time contacted the Voice Therapist at Fort Meade VA and was told "No". I don't know if the therapist was not qualified, unwilling, or what. But the answer was still "no".

Today, I had an appointment with my Psychologist to show me how to use the Biofeedback machine as Stress Management training. It was a fun experience. I have never used any biofeedback device, so this was very interesting to me. And she enjoyed showing it off.

After the appointment, she told me that our LGBTQ++ Care Coordinator had found a way for me to get voice lessons. Apparently, it is a national program called GAFF?? Gender Affirming {something something}? So she is arranging Tele-Medicine appointments to get me started on that. She also said that she has been in contact with other LGBTQ++ Care Coordinators at other VA Medical Centers in our region. Some vets have been able to get beard removal and pre-op electrolysis, but there is some special way to get it approved. They have discovered the secret handshake needed and are working on it. They will let me know if they can get it approved for me. [Hallelujah!]

After two years of stasis, I am finally seeing action to help me move forward. I am very thankful.

Quote from: LoriDee on February 27, 2024, 06:18:21 PMAfter two years of stasis, I am finally seeing action to help me move forward. I am very thankful.

Lori,
Very happy for you that you are able to start moving forward.

Ellen

Lori,

That is wonderful news. So glad this change has worked out for the better and to aid you further. Hugs
Mariah

QuoteAfter two years of stasis, I am finally seeing action to help me move forward. I am very thankful.

I'm thankful for you too.

[POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING]

When I came out to my parents, my dad had many questions. One of them was whether or not I would change my birth certificate. I told him that I had no plans to.

My birth certificate is a historical document. For our friends across the pond, an historical document.  ;D  There is no place to record gender, and the doctors and staff have no way of knowing what the gender will be. So from my point of view, the record is accurate. It describes the observations of medical personnel at that moment in history. I am not ashamed and I have no intentions of trying to erase my past. It starts with birth certificates, school records, military records, and on and on. There is no reason to change any of it.

As many have pointed out, we are not the same person anymore. I acknowledge who I was then and what I achieved. I learned a lot from that person, and what he learned shaped the woman I am today... good and bad.

I was inspired by Susan's progression photos showing what she looked like over the years. I think it is brave and a bit therapeutic to be able to look at where you came from and see how far you have come. I don't believe anyone on this forum has any doubt that Susan is an amazing and wonderful woman.

As a part of The Story of Lori, I will share with you where I came from. [POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING]
If you don't want to see me in a beard, or stitches from eye surgery, proceed no further.

The Story of Lori (Photos) (https://imgur.com/a/AEZXBWe)

Love love love this Lori. :icon_flower:

I, of course, 100% percent understand and respect those who determine and decide that the best course of action for themselves is to erase all traces of their life up to the point of transition. Whatever works for an individual is the right answer for that person - it's beyond dispute.

I just happen to come at this the way you do. When I came out to our son I described it like this:
"I wouldn't change anything about my life up to this point. I'm right where I'm meant to be. With your mom and with you. I don't regret a single second of any of it."

That doesn't mean that I didn't spend years with crushing guilt, confusion, longing to make the crispy shell match the noughty center... but that's all part of what got me here. It's all part of the totality that will make me the woman I am and will continue to grown into.

So especially with friends and family... it's nothing I am ashamed of.

Love,
Allie

@imallie

Exactly! Well said.

We all walk our own paths. This one is mine. Sometimes we meet people on different paths. Sometimes our paths cross. Sometimes we go in opposite directions. It doesn't mean anything except we are on our own path.

Hugs.

I am going to vent here for a moment because I want to strangle someone. Well, not really. But...

When I first started my transitioning, the VA told me that my care would be handled by the Minneapolis VA Endocrinology Department. I had several appointments with them via telemedicine. They did the initial 1,000-question interview to ask every conceivable question to be absolutely certain that I understood what I was doing and the risks involved. They wrote my first prescriptions. I got tired of seeing different interns each time who would keep asking the same questions. You have informed consent, can we PLEASE move on? Finally, I talked to my Primary Physician and told her I wanted to see someone local. Someone who will get to know me and I can get to know them. She made it happen.

Three times I requested electrolysis for hair removal. No one in the VA here does it. No one in the local community does it. So my requests were closed as "Service Not Available". I did a Google search for electrolysis and came up with 20 providers in this region. Denver had 14. There is a school in Wisconsin. Chicago will sedate you with general anesthesia so multiple technicians can clear you in one session. I gave my list to the Community Care Coordinator. She claims that she called every one of them. They are all a cash/credit provider and demand payment at the time of service. They don't want to wait for the VA to write them a check 3 months later. Since the VA does not pay with cash or credit, "Service Not Available".

Fast forward to this week. I was speaking to my LGBTQ++ Care Coordinator and she has been in conferences with other Coordinators throughout the Region and at the National level. She said they have contacted every State Health Department and requested a list of all licensed electrolysis providers in that state. Then they called each one and asked if they would be interested in working with the VA to help veterans needing hair removal. One said yes and is already signed up. Another one said yes and is in the process of doing the paperwork.

Tonight I stumbled onto the Minneapolis VA website. Under the heading, "Transgender, gender expansive, non-binary Veterans' guide to navigating Minneapolis VA" is a list of services that the Minneapolis VA provides. Going down the list I read:

"Hair removal

Veterans in the Minneapolis VA Health Care System are eligible for facial hair removal by laser or electrolysis. This care is provided through a care in the community consult. If you have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, your primary care or mental health provider can submit a community care dermatology consult for this medically necessary procedure to alleviate symptoms of gender dysphoria."

In other words, the Minneapolis VA already has a provider that they are sending veterans to. So why did this not come up early in my transition when my care was through the Minneapolis VA? Why was this not brought up during the Midwest Care Coordinator Conferences that happen every week? Why didn't anyone know this until I found the website by accident and sent a link to my Care Coordinator?

Who the hell is steering this boat?

Come Monday, somebody got some 'splaining to do.

{End of Rant}
Thank you for attending this Ted Talk.

Wow... how far down the road out of pocket are you on hair removal, Lori?

I guess the good news is, hopefully this means you can get it covered going forward. But I wonder if there's any chance for reimbursement for past expenses? I'd guess not but who knows?

All my electrolysis has been out of pocket.. $85 per week, for 16 months now.

It's funny, I remember people saying that hair removal for your face would cost like $10k and I thought that was crazy... but now I get it completely.

Lori, typical government run agency. If you don't specify exactly, fill out every forum correctly, its on you. They love to say the have made available $xxx in funds for... but make it almost impossible for anyone to get.
Good luck. 
Hugs Gina

Quote from: imallie on March 02, 2024, 11:11:08 PMWow... how far down the road out of pocket are you on hair removal, Lori?

I guess the good news is, hopefully this means you can get it covered going forward. But I wonder if there's any chance for reimbursement for past expenses? I'd guess not but who knows

My problem is that there is no one local who does it. I would have to travel at least four hours driving to the nearest one. I can't afford to fly. Flights in and out of Rapid City start at $500 round-trip.

So I have to deal with it as best I can. I have tried creams, blades, electrics, and epilators (OUCH!). @Gina P is right. The VA moves at the speed of government. They have been making us promises since 2016 and no meaningful action in that direction. Lots of political rhetoric.

I talked to my psychologist about this. Is it any wonder that I am stressed out, frustrated, and depressed? That is the magic word. They freak out over depression because veterans (especially LGBTQ Veterans) have a high rate of suicide. I have told them that my spirituality will not allow me to commit suicide, but the diagnosis of "moderate to severe depression" lit a fire under them. Now that I have their attention I use that as leverage to force them to do their jobs. My Trans Care Coordinator told me to advocate for myself, be demanding, and hold their feet to the fire. So that is what I am doing. At least now, I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully, it isn't an oncoming train.  ;D

Oh I'm so so sorry to hear ALL of that. People talk about the pain of electrolysis... and I don't discount anyone who does experience it that way... but for me it is beyond a doubt the most affirming hour I spend each week.

Everyone's transition is unique to them, however. So I hope and pray you are able to find a solution to this as soon as possible that works for you. The way you are self-advocating makes me confident that if there IS a way to crack this, you will find it!!

Good luck!
Allie

Received a message from my Trans Care Coordinator, regarding hair removal issues.

Yes, Minneapolis has a non-VA provider that they use. No, Minneapolis is not part of the community in Rapid City, SD. It is not a question of whether I need it. It is not a question of it being "medically necessary". Previous requests for LOCAL care have been authorized, then died on someone's desk as "service not available".

The issue is this: Rapid City VA and the Black Hills System have no one local. Minneapolis does, but it is a non-VA provider. (Think HMO out of network). Minneapolis can send vets to their provider. Rapid City can send vets to the Minneapolis VA, but not a non-VA provider in Minneapolis.

So what they are working on is an authorization for travel to Minneapolis for medical care. That may mean I have to check in at the Minn. VA and then let them refer me to their local provider. They can authorize travel and expenses only under specific circumstances, so they are trying to word the request so it hits all of the checkboxes and gets approved. It feels like no one has ever transitioned in South Dakota through the VA and I am out there swinging my machete, clearing a path through the jungle. I'm ok with that, but I know that I am not the first veteran to transition through VA in this area and I am not the only one now.

It's a good thing that 14+ years of Army training has helped me develop the critical skill of "Hurry up and Wait". {sigh} More to follow

Hi Allie

Quote from: imallie on March 03, 2024, 12:27:36 PMOh I'm so so sorry to hear ALL of that. People talk about the pain of electrolysis... and I don't discount anyone who does experience it that way... but for me it is beyond a doubt the most affirming hour I spend each week.

One needle or 16 needles, at a time?  ;)  :D  ;D

Hugs and Hugs
Sarah B

Quote from: Sarah B on March 05, 2024, 10:53:09 AMHi Allie

One needle or 16 needles, at a time?  ;)  :D  ;D

Hugs and Hugs
Sarah B

Just one, and a lot of lot of laughs.

My quarterly Botox is 40 injections, many of them much closer to my eye... and while that doc is super nice, very kind and gentle... not nearly as many laughs.  Plus, she doesn't yet know I'm trans. 🤫😂. No, I need to tell her.. likely at our session next month.

It's just REALLY difficult to find a time to shock someone when they are really close to your face with dozens of ultra sharp needles. Surprisingly, it does not naturally come up in conversation.

The latest in another saga with the VA.

I legally changed my name in December 2022. I sent copies of the court order to everyone (VA, Social Security, credit bureaus, banks, credit card companies, vehicle registration, and driver's license.)

I moved into my new apartment in August 2023 and notified the VA of my new address. On the website portal, after logging in, I can access a Health Summary document which is a copy of my medical records that I can download and share with non-VA providers.

I noticed that my address was not correct. Just a minor thing, they forgot to put the apt number and the last four of the zip code is wrong. Then I noticed under the insurance providers section, my deadname listed about ten times in various spellings and variations. One of those entries was a nickname, and the Medicare account number isn't even mine!

I have talked to the Administration office and they showed me their computer screen. That is not what they have on file for me. They show my correct legal name, address, and account number. Then I went to Patient Accounts and talked to them. They have a very nice woman whose title is Insurance Billing Verifier. She showed me her computer screen. She has the correct information on file and no outdated stuff. So where is the information in my online records coming from?

I logged into VA.gov and checked there. Everything they have on file is correct and accurate. I contacted the Help Desk and submitted problem tickets. Later I got an email saying the ticket was closed and the issue was "resolved". I logged in and nothing changed.

Last week, while talking with my Trans Care Coordinator, we were talking about my stress levels and various triggers. They work in the Mental Health department with my psychologist. I asked her what I would need to do to have my deadname completely removed from my medical records. She started investigating.

She is friends with a new Help Desk representative and she explained my situation. I had taken screenshots of what is in my file vs what is in the VA records and the records held here in my local health care system. I suspect that somehow somebody's records got mixed up with mine and the two are linked. I wonder if there is a veteran out there somewhere complaining about his Gender Dysphoria diagnosis and subsequent appointments with Gynecology.

I got a call this morning from the Help Desk rep. He said I needed to call the Help Desk number and a technician should be able to get this resolved. I told him I had done that many, many times without success. Maybe he alerted someone that I was calling. So, I called and explained who I was and what the problem was. They can't help me because they cannot see my records. Hence they can't change anything in them. I need to call the Local Help Desk Coordinator to get that changed. Got the number and the extension.

I call and get the standard menu. I enter the extension number. Another menu, I wait and get a voicemail. I leave my contact info and a detailed explanation of what I need help with. A few minutes later, I got a call from the same guy who called me this morning and sent me on this goose chase.

He explained that he cannot see my records and, therefore cannot change anything in them. However, he is willing to escalate the issue to someone who can. He agreed to meet me tomorrow at the clinic after my doctor's appointment. We will sit down with documents in hand and he will call God or somebody to finally get the issue to the right person. After nine months or so, it still has not been resolved. How hard can it be to fix an address?

So what did I do this afternoon? SHOPPING!

(https://i.imgur.com/cQ8KXnT.jpg)

@LoriDee
Dear Lori:
You had such high hopes for a good outcome with your face-to-face
meeting today with the VA people...

.... and unfortunately you hit the government red-tape brick wall.

So, I was glad to read that after the disappointing meeting with the VA you
proceeded to have "shopping therapy"  .... one of my favorite things to do
when things go wrong during the day, and chocolate helps too.

I trust that you will finally get things resolved... you need to continue
to be persistent.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but don't squeak
too much and in an aggressive way.... wheels like that get replaced and/or
removed. 
Kindness, understanding and polite attitude... and persistence
will hopefully help unblock the bureaucratic brick wall.

Get some ice cream, chocolate, and buy a new pair of shoes...
... that usually helps me in times of distress.
HUGS and many more HUGS,
Danielle

Lori,

I am sorry for all the problems you are having. FYI,  I had a similar issue at my pharmacy. It took forever for them to find the software bug that was causing the automated phone system to say my <deadname>.

Ellen

I am using their own rules against them.
You want to contact me? Fix my address.
Stop triggering me with all these wrong names in my file.
And the other one was in the Allergies section. It says that there is no allergy assessment on file at the West LA VA Medical Center. Of course not, I've never been there!
So where is the allergy assessment that was done here a year ago? Why isn't that in my records?

The Help Desk Rep admitted that these errors could be quite serious. I didn't tell him that all 80 tests were negative and I have no allergies. But what if it said I was allergic to penicillin? And it isn't listed in my medical records. Tomorrow is the face-to-face meeting. I have all my documents. Hopefully, I have their attention now. Squeaky persistence.  ;D

A quick update.

I had an appointment with a Nutritionist this morning to discuss my low vitamin levels in February's labs. The Help Desk Rep (Carl) agreed to meet me at the clinic too.

I was expecting bad weather so I left early. (Of course, now it is a beautiful sunny day). I was early enough to speak with Carl before checking in for my appointment. We went over all of my documents and records. With screenshots printed out, he was able to see what I see when I log in. He told me that he had already escalated my case to the National level and that he would forward the documents I gave him. Things are looking up.

Then I met with the Nutritionist who didn't tell me much that I didn't already know. "Eat more vegetables". My response was "Have you been to the store lately?". Ok, I will work on that. She gave me a bunch of handouts from the FDA on meal planning, shopping lists, etc. Overall, a good visit.

Then I got home and began reading all of what she gave me. According to the meal planner I will need to buy turkey, chicken, tuna, Canadian bacon, oranges, apples, grapes, bananas, lettuce, tomatoes, fruit juices, vegetable juices, potatoes, noodles, hamburger buns, whole wheat bread, and dinner rolls.

Right.

1. That would cost more than what I pay to rent my apartment. (not an exaggeration).
2. Most of that would spoil before I could eat it all. I know because it has happened many times.
3. I would need a much bigger refrigerator/freezer just to hold it all.

I am not a good cook and I don't enjoy cooking. But I agreed to try to develop better habits and maybe build a new skill set. But with depression comes a lack of motivation and energy.

I do recognize that there are many things that I need to work on, and they are all interconnected. But conflicting advice is not helpful. Buy this much food. but Watch your budget. Exercise outdoors in the sun to get some vitamin D. but Stay out of the sun, you have already had 7 skin cancers removed. Wear sunscreen. but Wash your face four times a day or more.

Sometimes it feels like I have one foot nailed to the floor and I am running in circles going nowhere.

It will work out and I'll get there. Baby steps, one at a time. Any progress is still progress and I count my blessings every night.

Dont think much of your nutritionist , avoid fruit juice as its full of sugar, no white bread as its "empty" calories. Avoid ready meals as they are full of chemicals, salt, sugar and fat. Plan your meals with a good balance of veg and meat and only buy what you will eat that week (thats if you do a weekly shop) Frozen veg and fish is a good store cupboard standby as well as tinned veg. 

Thanks. My Primary warned me about fruit juice. She said when you eat the fruit, it has fiber which slows digestion so you don't get a spike in blood sugar. With juice, it goes straight into the bloodstream with nothing slowing it down.

I questioned why I needed bread and buns and dinner rolls. The intent is to provide a variety. Fine. But I eat when I am hungry and for no other reason. Occasionally, I will treat myself to a Buffalo Burger or a steak dinner. But for the day-to-day meals, protein is protein. I switch between chicken, pork, and tuna. I have been slacking on the veggies, so I will start incorporating more of them into my meals.

Thanks for the advice!
Hugs!

Maybe get some cooking lessons? or at least a basic cook book. I taught myself to cook and I mostly live of Indian food cooked from scratch following recipes from my 12 Indian cook books. I also have a recipes for one or two book that is easy to follow as well as several other good cook books. Batch cook meals as well and freeze them in meal sized containers, that cuts cost of cooking and saves ingredients. Not often I have to throw food out, if veg is going over its best I make a mixed veg curry.

There is a cooking class being offered to the residents of our apartment building from March 20 - April 17th. I have thought about it. I don't want to sign up for the class if it is something that I won't enjoy. I gave it some serious thought as I read through the brochure. My dysphoria would be in hyper-drive and the brochure says "Bring your kids!". Knowing the people in this building, it would be total chaos and I would be more annoyed than interested.

I do have a book, not a cookbook, that has recipes in it. The book is "Staying Healthy with Nutrition" by Elson M. Haas, MD. "The Complete Guide to Diet and Nutritional Medicine" was our textbook for a class I took decades ago. It covers everything from vitamins to carbohydrates, and has some recipes and special diets, like for diabetics or to relieve other issues, like arthritis. I bought a second copy for my parents. It is a hefty volume, clocking in at over 920 pages counting the index. I mostly use it now as a reference, but in class, we read it cover to cover.

Sounds like it is time to dust it off and see what I forgot.

(https://i.imgur.com/l9r2lMQ.jpeg)

Quote from: LoriDee on March 07, 2024, 08:58:44 PMI am using their own rules against them.
You want to contact me? Fix my address.
Stop triggering me with all these wrong names in my file.
And the other one was in the Allergies section. It says that there is no allergy assessment on file at the West LA VA Medical Center. Of course not, I've never been there!
So where is the allergy assessment that was done here a year ago? Why isn't that in my records?

The Help Desk Rep admitted that these errors could be quite serious. I didn't tell him that all 80 tests were negative and I have no allergies. But what if it said I was allergic to penicillin? And it isn't listed in my medical records. Tomorrow is the face-to-face meeting. I have all my documents. Hopefully, I have their attention now. Squeaky persistence.  ;D

LoriDee,


How did this meeting go?


Chrissy

@ChrissyRyan

Good thanks! The post got buried on the previous page, but thanks for asking!
Hugs!

Lori - feel free to pm me and we can discuss diet and meal planning as much or little as you would like. Happy to be a resource. Aside from my own personal 175+ lbs weight loss, I then got nutrition certified so I better understood the science beyond what I'd accomplished so that not only could I continue it, but help others.
Again happy to help/discuss things if you'd like. If not, no worries!

Love,
Allie

The class I took was a certification in Nutrition and Wellness by the AFPA (American Fitness Professionals Association). They mostly certify Personal Trainers and the course was part of their training. I only wanted the N&W part, so got a discount on tuition. At that time, I was still recovering from neck surgery (cervical fusion of C6-C7 vertebrae) and my disability claims were still being reviewed. A friend of mine set me up selling Shaklee products for income. I thought the certification might be a great marketing tool, but (like you) I wanted to be able to speak with people intelligently about nutrition and general wellness.

That would have been back around 2001 - 2002, so a little while ago. Since then... life... and I sort of stopped paying attention to what I was doing. The same thing happened with my mental health. I retired as a hypnotherapist and closed my practice almost ten years ago. I stopped paying attention to my own mental health. I have had a bit of a wake-up call, so now I am getting back on track.

Thank you for the kind offer! I might just take you up on it someday. Hugs!

Quote from: LoriDee on March 08, 2024, 05:58:45 PMThe class I took was a certification in Nutrition and Wellness by the AFPA (American Fitness Professionals Association). They mostly certify Personal Trainers and the course was part of their training. I only wanted the N&W part, so got a discount on tuition. At that time, I was still recovering from neck surgery (cervical fusion of C6-C7 vertebrae) and my disability claims were still being reviewed. A friend of mine set me up selling Shaklee products for income. I thought the certification might be a great marketing tool, but (like you) I wanted to be able to speak with people intelligently about nutrition and general wellness.

That would have been back around 2001 - 2002, so a little while ago. Since then... life... and I sort of stopped paying attention to what I was doing. The same thing happened with my mental health. I retired as a hypnotherapist and closed my practice almost ten years ago. I stopped paying attention to my own mental health. I have had a bit of a wake-up call, so now I am getting back on track.

Thank you for the kind offer! I might just take you up on it someday. Hugs!

That all sounds good, Lori. Yeah, I did mine through PN (Precision Nutrition).

But I have kind of taken all that really just to validate the things I learned in my journey, and have evolved it from there. Because, as you know, what works for me, will not necessarily work for you. The principles will... they might help guide you to some set of "Lori rules"... but that's it.

By the way, just one little thing to get back to something you mentioned earlier after your appt with the nutritionist, and how she wanted you to go to the store and spend your life savings on fruits and veggies?

Yes, it's true that while everyone should fill 1/2 their plates with veggies, and eat all the fruit they can...that stuff is not only expensive, but also often there can be a great deal of food waste, when items go bad too quickly, or if you get items that never ripen, etc.

One solution that people for some reason think is less-than - shop for fruits and veggies in your freezer section. The are so much less expensive, they are ALL picked and packaged at their peak of flavor, and it is by far the most cost effective way to get your fruits and veggies.

Yes, if you planned to eat them raw, you need fresh. But if you're cooking, baking, etc... frozen is the way to go. It also is the alternative to pre-packaged meals. It's the compromise. You can also get flash frozen chicken breasts, and have them and veggies in the freezer, so you literally just need some sort of sauce you like that you can heat up and you will always have a high protein, nutrient-dense meal at the ready with limited cooking time and effort.

Love,
Allie

Thanks, Allie!
I forgot about frozen fruit. I was buying canned because it stays good until I am ready to eat it. I would buy a bag of apples to munch on as a snack, but halfway through the bag, I found some that were badly bruised and even rotting. Ugh. I don't reward bad behavior or poor quality. I stopped giving them my money and bought them at other stores.

My dysphoria doesn't allow me to go shopping every week. If I am already out running errands or for appointments, I will stop and pick up supplies. I do grocery shopping about twice a month, so things need to last at least a week.

Allie, my dear, I believe you have given me the answer. When I am picking up frozen veggies, I will grab fruit too! Now I want some frozen strawberries over pound cake.  ;D

Hugs!

Also SOOO great for making smoothies. No need for ice when you're already using frozen fruit!

Apples can be cored and sliced down, zapped in the microwave and then frozen . Great for a pie filling or crumble.

The weather is warming up rapidly. Today I had to clean out the rock tumblers. The stones are now running through a cleaning cycle of borax, then they will get inspected. Those that need more work will go back to the same or earlier stage. Those that are ready will move to the next stage.

I have three stones that will not shine when polished. The material is too porous to take a shine. All three are being done by request. One is a heart-shaped stone a gal found and she had me engrave an initial into it and it will become a key ring (it's too heavy to be a pendant).

(https://i.imgur.com/KuzVz1c.jpeg)

One is a cool stone called many things because of its funny shapes and colors. Some call it Fruit Jasper, some call it Pimento Jasper, but it is not a jasper at all. It is a form of marble called Sabalgarh Marble. Jasper is a hard stone and polishes easily. Marble is very soft - the reason it is used in sculpture.

(https://i.imgur.com/65aALDZ.jpeg)

And the third piece also has many misleading names. Often called Sanskrit Jasper, Arabic Jasper, or Calligraphy Stone. The legend is that ancient prophesies were carved into the stone. The truth is that it is not a jasper at all. It is a fossil from the Himalayan region in India called Miriam Stone.

(https://i.imgur.com/CyxczlC.jpeg)

Since they won't take a shine, I took them outside in the warm sunshine and sprayed them with a Clear Coat. They look amazing, but we will see how they look tomorrow after the coating fully cures.

With gold's spot price (price per ounce) setting records and continuing to hover above $2,100 per ounce I am getting anxious to get back out to the mine and get to digging. Every election year causes economic uncertainty which affects the stock and commodities markets. I don't invest, I dig. The gold I dug out of the ground back in 2016 has almost doubled in value... without any additional work on my part.

So tomorrow I will be inspecting my gear, checking that everything is in order and ready to rock and roll. The water will still be cold as there is still a lot of ice melting up at higher elevations. My insulated chest waders work well in keeping my feet warm in ice water, but my hands are another story. I have been looking for some insulated diving gloves that will be waterproof, keep my hands warm, and still have the flexibility to move my fingers as needed.

Or I may just suck it up and deal with it as I have for the past 7 years or so.  ;D

I watch some gold prospecting programs, hard work dear but if it pays off its worth it.

It doesn't always work out. It's feast or famine. Luckily I met an old hard rock miner who owns a gold mine not far away. He told me that he moved here in the 50s and was a fur trapper, so he knows every inch of this creek. He pointed to several locations and told me what he saw. That was in 2017 and I have been digging gold from that area since then. I found a map that was the first map ever drawn of this area. It was published in 1900 and it shows a gold claim already at that spot. I guess that it may have been part of a series of claims from further upstream. It still pays. Some seasons are better than others, but it keeps me off the streets at night.  ;D

More good news.

I just received a letter from the Social Security Administration informing me that I am no longer "disabled". Does anybody know if Jesus works there? (Hallelujah!)

Apparently, as of March 2024, I have reached the official full retirement age, so they are changing my SS records from "Disabled" to "Retired". Since I am entitled to full retirement benefits there will be no change in income. Disability requires that I pay Medicare insurance premiums. Retirement has no such obligation. I can now opt-out and save $200 per month. I want to do it, but I might need Medicare for surgery down the road, so I will wait.

Veggies can be very tasty!

Most everything costs so much nowadays.  I eat a lot of fish, chicken, pasta, cheese, and veggies.  Per pound, typically cheaper than prime beef.

Eggs seem to have gone down in price.

Chrissy

I eat the same way. But I promised to increase my fruit and veggie intake. I prefer frozen over canned, so I will be stocking up on those. Davina also gave me a tip to buy fresh apples, core them then freeze them. I am looking forward to trying that. I love Honeycrisp apples, but I kept getting too many bad ones in a bag. And the packaging doesn't allow you to see inside. I think I'll just open the bag and inspect them. The worst they can do is make me buy them. If they are bad, I'll march right on over to customer service and demand a refund.

The supermarket I use is one of the cheaper ones and you have to inspect veg before it goes in your trolley, cauliflowers that have started to go brown, apples rotten in the bag and things like that. Also have to keep an eye on the use by dates. Bargains can be found in the clearance shelf as when they have a few items of an item they go into the bargain bin and they can have long dates.

Quote from: LoriDee on March 10, 2024, 01:26:59 PMI eat the same way. But I promised to increase my fruit and veggie intake. I prefer frozen over canned, so I will be stocking up on those. Davina also gave me a tip to buy fresh apples, core them then freeze them. I am looking forward to trying that. I love Honeycrisp apples, but I kept getting too many bad ones in a bag. And the packaging doesn't allow you to see inside. I think I'll just open the bag and inspect them. The worst they can do is make me buy them. If they are bad, I'll march right on over to customer service and demand a refund.

I prefer fresh over frozen or canned.  I do not mind canned sweet peas and mushrooms.
If you enjoy soft asparagus, canned asparagus is not bad at all! 

I do enjoy eating fresh picked fruit and veggies. 

Chrissy

Here we go again. The battle continues...

I saw my Gynecologist on Feb 26. After a very long discussion about the issues I have had with Mylan patches, she said she would talk to the pharmacist and determine if a name-brand patch was available. The pharmacist assured her that they were, so doc placed the order on Feb 29 with explicit instructions to not substitute for Mylan patches. The mail-order pharmacy shipped the order on Mar 5. Through all of this time, I have been PMSing due to low hormones fluctuating.

Today, I received my new patches!
 
What's wrong with this picture?
(https://i.imgur.com/6Yl0MpC.jpeg)

[Sigh}

@LoriDee
Dear Lori:

What is wrong with the picture?    It would be interesting to show that picture or the
box to your pharmacist...
.... they all seem to be very confused!!!!

The trials and tribulations of HRT.

HUGS, Danielle

I just sent a Secure Message to my doctor with this picture as an attachment. She is pretty good at getting right back to her patients. I would love to be a fly on the wall when she confronts the pharmacy with WTF.

I have to laugh at it. When I was in the Army serving as the Operations Sergeant, I put a sign on the wall behind my desk. It read:

"Incompetence is the worst form of corruption."

Then I moved the hanger mount on the back of the frame so the picture would always hang crooked. Anyone who has served will know that it would drive people nuts. Everything must be perfectly vertical, horizontal, dressed right, and covered down.

At night, people who were being punished had to clean the offices. Without fail, they would try to straighten the frame, but it would just fall crooked again. One guy got a nail and drove it into the wall for the frame to rest against to keep it straight. Of course, I ripped him a new one for putting an unauthorized hole in my wall, but gave him points for taking initiative and being creative in finding a solution. Everyone was so focused on the frame being out of whack that they didn't bother to read the message.

Gotta love the government.

Quote from: LoriDee on March 11, 2024, 01:14:13 PMHere we go again. The battle continues...

I saw my Gynecologist on Feb 26. After a very long discussion about the issues I have had with Mylan patches, she said she would talk to the pharmacist and determine if a name-brand patch was available. The pharmacist assured her that they were, so doc placed the order on Feb 29 with explicit instructions to not substitute for Mylan patches. The mail-order pharmacy shipped the order on Mar 5. Through all of this time, I have been PMSing due to low hormones fluctuating.

Today, I received my new patches!
 
What's wrong with this picture?
(https://i.imgur.com/6Yl0MpC.jpeg)

[Sigh}

Looks like they made a mistake with the substitution.  Sorry they goofed!

Chrissy

I think I will likely just stick with Estradiol pills.  Generic and inexpensive, although there was a price increase earlier this year at my usual pharmacy.

Chrissy

Fortunately, I have a good team looking out for me. I just got a call from the pharmacist (who worked there for 22 years) and she explained how that happens. Anything that is written on the label is never seen by a human. The order is submitted via computer and a computer fills the order from whatever is in stock that matches the order, including equivalents. It is quick and efficient. So the pharmacy tech had to submit the order specifically specifying the brand that is to be filled. Since that is a "special order" they have to update various files, but all of that will happen this week. She also refunded my copay. By the time the meds arrive, I'll have been PMSing for a month. Such is life.

Quote from: LoriDee on March 11, 2024, 06:16:42 PMFortunately, I have a good team looking out for me. I just got a call from the pharmacist (who worked there for 22 years) and she explained how that happens. Anything that is written on the label is never seen by a human. The order is submitted via computer and a computer fills the order from whatever is in stock that matches the order, including equivalents. It is quick and efficient. So the pharmacy tech had to submit the order specifically specifying the brand that is to be filled. Since that is a "special order" they have to update various files, but all of that will happen this week. She also refunded my copay. By the time the meds arrive, I'll have been PMSing for a month. Such is life.

Sounds like a solution.  What about the next fill though?  Will the problem occur again?
Perhaps the solution is for the physician to specify the brand name with no substitution.

Chrissy

That is what the pharmacist did today. Special orders can't go through normal channels. Once it is in the system, then all future fills will follow that instruction until rescinded by my prescriber.

Hugs!

One of my favorite books of all time is "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach. He has some interesting ways of looking at things from a different point of view.

A passage that I really like reads:

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts." ― Richard Bach

We intuitively know that we are not happy with ourselves. We know the change required (transition) will be a problem for us. But we seek it out because we need that gift. It is difficult to love someone else if we don't love ourselves first. If we don't look after our own happiness, we won't have any left to give to someone else. Be kind to yourself. Find that love and it will expand exponentially, and there will be plenty to share.

Hugs!

Quote from: LoriDee on March 11, 2024, 09:11:14 PMOne of my favorite books of all time is "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach. He has some interesting ways of looking at things from a different point of view.

A passage that I really like reads:

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts." ― Richard Bach

We intuitively know that we are not happy with ourselves. We know the change required (transition) will be a problem for us. But we seek it out because we need that gift. It is difficult to love someone else if we don't love ourselves first. If we don't look after our own happiness, we won't have any left to give to someone else. Be kind to yourself. Find that love and it will expand exponentially, and there will be plenty to share.

Hugs!

Lori - Absolutely LOVE the sentiment behind that quote.

HOWEVER... someone who writes that, feels to me like someone who has never, for example, faced the scoreboard power going out just before going on the air for a nationally televised basketball game from your home arena, and all the TV folks running out of the trucks with wide eyes looking at you to suddenly have an electrical license and solve it.

I found exactly ZERO gifts handed to me in that situation. And believe me, I looked. HARD

 ;D

I mean, I got a good story out of it? So maybe that's what I needed? But whoo, that's pushing it.

But even so... like I said, I love the sentiment. And as it relates to transition, I, all kidding aside, think it's lovely. Quite lovely.

Love,
Allie

LoriDee,

I am wishing that you have a full week of absolutely no barriers and bad issues, and that you do have a wonderful week ahead.  Then for the good times to always, all in all,  overshadow hardships that will always come our way, as they are part of life.

Take care.

Chrissy

Thank you, Chrissy. Your support and well wishes are very much appreciated!
And may all that you wish for me, come back to you tenfold.

Hugs!

Quote from: imallie on March 12, 2024, 12:00:42 AMLori - Absolutely LOVE the sentiment behind that quote.

HOWEVER... someone who writes that, feels to me like someone who has never, for example, faced the scoreboard power going out just before going on the air for a nationally televised basketball game from your home arena, and all the TV folks running out of the trucks with wide eyes looking at you to suddenly have an electrical license and solve it.

I found exactly ZERO gifts handed to me in that situation. And believe me, I looked. HARD

@imallie

For context: Within the story, he finds a book entitled something like "Messiah's Handbook and Manual for Advanced Souls". The idea is that you hold a question in your mind and open to any page and it will give you the answer. The above quote is one of the answers given.

At the end of the story, he turns to the last page which reads, "Everything in this book may be wrong."

;D

Quote from: LoriDee on March 13, 2024, 10:05:52 AM@imallie

For context: Within the story, he finds a book entitled something like "Messiah's Handbook and Manual for Advanced Souls". The idea is that you hold a question in your mind and open to any page and it will give you the answer. The above quote is one of the answers given.

At the end of the story, he turns to the last page which reads, "Everything in this book may be wrong."

;D

The ability to look from within for answers, and at the same time believe that those very same solutions of our own might be completely cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs? THAT kind of amazing self-awareness I can completely get behind.  Love it! ❤️

I wish I could post the "story within the story" here. I found it very insightful and it helped me "let go" of some of the baggage I continued to carry with me. The book is a very short read (only 72 pages) and you can download a free copy online "for educational purposes". Highly recommended.

This is a most interesting blog of yours LoriDee.
I hope you have no further problems with medicines and medical care coverage.  Plus that you will have good providers not far away.

If I went panning for gold I would likely find sand, iron pyrite, and miscellaneous little pebbles.  No gold.

Chrissy

For a few years, that is exactly what I found. I began to doubt that I would even know it if I saw it. Maybe what I thought was pyrite was gold. Maybe my panning technique is not good enough and I wasn't catching it. I joined gold prospecting clubs and they showed me a great way to practice using lead shot.

Gold is 19 times heavier than water and lead is 11 times heavier. Most everything else in the river is lighter. I put lead shot in the gold pan with dirt and pan it. If the lead shot stays in the pan, your technique is good and you will catch gold. My first gold flake was found while I was practicing using dirt on a lake shore. It was in the pan right next to the lead shot. Once I saw it, there was no doubt that it was gold.

Over time, I learned how and where to find it, and even custom-designed my sluicebox for optimum efficiency. I had been sharing pictures on my website and finally decided to write about what I learned so others could learn too. The website articles led to a few people offering to hire me as a consultant to look over their claims and tell them where to dig. The last offer was in Montana and I decided that I didn't want to travel that far. The offer was a good one, it was just a bit too far for my comfort zone.

I've tried panning for gold but never had any luck. I tried in the mountains of Georgia on my step mothers place where rumor had it the previous owner made enough panning gold from the river to squeak out a living. I like the lead shot idea to hone the technique, Ill have to try that next time.
Gina

@Gina P

Thar's gold in them thar hills. Sluiceboy Prospecting does YouTube videos of places he prospects in Georgia. He and family members have a few claims there. He does very well. I have even bought some of his paydirt to pan in the winter. I was curious how the gold down yonder compared with the gold here in the Black Hills.

This week is off to a good start. I still have this hacking cough that has plagued me since Wednesday. I received a text message that my new order of Grove brand estradiol patches is on the truck and out for delivery.

I was in the middle of yet another hacking cough fit when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number (out of state), but I managed to gasp "Hello". The Voice Training pathologist from Iowa City VA called to set up an appointment. I start training via TeleMedicine on March 27th! <insert Woohoo! emoji here>

I don't demand milestone achievements every day. Even a little progress goes a long way to fuel hope and ward off frustration and depression. It has been two years that I have been waiting my turn patiently while the VA is constantly telling me that this or that service is unavailable.

This year hit me hard. During my semi-annual physical with my Primary, she noticed frustration and depression and got me in to see my psychologist the next day. She diagnosed me with Moderate to Severe Depression. I asked, "Can you blame me?" The VA told me they would help with my transition, and they gave me hormones. Period. Every other service needed as a part of the transition is "unavailable". It is available somewhere, and the VA is part of the federal government. If a service is available in Seattle, then why am I not on a plane heading West? The VA has left me as this disfigured freak without any means to go forward or back. I am stuck mid-transition and it is their fault. And you wonder why I am depressed?

That set things in motion.

My Trans Care Coordinator, a psychologist in our Mental Health department, jumped into action. They still haven't figured out how to get electrolysis for me because of some stupid rules. The Minneapolis VA sends their veterans to a local provider for electrolysis. Since I am not receiving care from Minneapolis, they can't send me to that provider. That provider has no contract with the Black Hills VA system, so travel is not authorized to send me to Minneapolis. To override that, my team must go back through my records and document that this is indeed "medically necessary". That much is in progress now.

While searching for programs available nationwide, they discovered the Trans Voice Training Program offered by Iowa City VA. I said sign me up!

Once again I am moving forward and life is good.

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
Your most recent posting here on your Blog Tread has really touched my heart.
Obviously you are hitting the stumbling blocks that many of our transitioning
members have encountered or are now encountering. 

Thank you for sharing from your experience....  please keep me and the rest
of your avid followers updated... only as you feel comfortable sharing.

I am sending my Big HUGS to you.
Danielle
                              (https://i.imgur.com/edS1Dkpm.png)

So glad you have an effective member of Team Lori now — looking out for your best interest and trying to cut through all the redtape for you! That's invaluable!!!!

Is there a way that we can codify this into law?

Instead of 50 gazillion things not to discriminate against, why not make the law clear and simple?

Thou shalt not discriminate. Period.

(https://i.imgur.com/NkaIg8m.jpeg)

It turns out that polishing rocks is quite the workout. I currently have three tumblers, one single-barrel, and two double-barrel, each with a 3-lb capacity. I am rolling 15 lbs of rock 24/7. This mostly happens in the background for a week at a time. After a week, it is time to clean off the stones and inspect them. Some get moved to the next stage, some need a little more work and will stay. Sometimes, they crack and break and may need to return to the first stage and start over. Stage 1 is for Shaping the stones, rounding off sharp edges, and clearing surface damage. Stage 2 begins Smoothing the stones so they can take a polish. Stage 3 is Pre-Polish which makes the stones very smooth. And the Polish stage is where the stones are given a good shine. Not all stones will shine. Soft and porous stones will keep a dull matte finish, so I spray them with Clear Coat to bring out their colors and features.

Any time I am outside, I am always looking at rocks. Sometimes the colors catch my eye. Maybe it's the banding, swirls, or even clarity when a light shines through them. Sometimes I recognize what kind of stone it is and how it was made. Other times I will be completely bewildered. I still enjoy them.

(https://i.imgur.com/auNtZrh.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/PYhpDyT.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/QQc08da.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/pU29Xdl.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Y6mKfA9.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/xstBDD2.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/lMQkQkW.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/BQFi0Ft.jpeg)

Isn't Nature just grand?

Quote from: LoriDee on March 20, 2024, 03:13:55 PMIt turns out that polishing rocks is quite the workout. I currently have three tumblers, one single-barrel, and two double-barrel, each with a 3-lb capacity. I am rolling 15 lbs of rock 24/7. This mostly happens in the background for a week at a time. After a week, it is time to clean off the stones and inspect them. Some get moved to the next stage, some need a little more work and will stay. Sometimes, they crack and break and may need to return to the first stage and start over. Stage 1 is for Shaping the stones, rounding off sharp edges, and clearing surface damage. Stage 2 begins Smoothing the stones so they can take a polish. Stage 3 is Pre-Polish which makes the stones very smooth. And the Polish stage is where the stones are given a good shine. Not all stones will shine. Soft and porous stones will keep a dull matte finish, so I spray them with Clear Coat to bring out their colors and features.

Any time I am outside, I am always looking at rocks. Sometimes the colors catch my eye. Maybe it's the banding, swirls, or even clarity when a light shines through them. Sometimes I recognize what kind of stone it is and how it was made. Other times I will be completely bewildered. I still enjoy them.

(https://i.imgur.com/auNtZrh.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/PYhpDyT.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/QQc08da.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/pU29Xdl.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Y6mKfA9.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/xstBDD2.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/lMQkQkW.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/BQFi0Ft.jpeg)

Isn't Nature just grand?

LoriDee,


You rock!


Chrissy

Quote from: LoriDee on March 11, 2024, 09:11:14 PMOne of my favorite books of all time is "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach. He has some interesting ways of looking at things from a different point of view.

A passage that I really like reads:

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts." ― Richard Bach

We intuitively know that we are not happy with ourselves. We know the change required (transition) will be a problem for us. But we seek it out because we need that gift. It is difficult to love someone else if we don't love ourselves first. If we don't look after our own happiness, we won't have any left to give to someone else. Be kind to yourself. Find that love and it will expand exponentially, and there will be plenty to share.

Hugs!

Hey Sis!

Well this figures... That is one of my absolute all time favorite books as well!... That quote was one of the standouts and I believe I quoted it here on the forum but, it disappeared with the lost years... Alas but, perhaps it is for the best because here it is again, as shiny and new as Don Shimoda's Travel Air...You aren't from the Holy Land of Indiana are you? 🤔... I had a few Johnathan Livingston Seagull posts in my old blog as well 🤗

Love Ya Girl!!!

A 😀💕🌻

Quote from: LoriDee on March 20, 2024, 03:13:55 PMIt turns out that polishing rocks is quite the workout. I currently have three tumblers, one single-barrel, and two double-barrel, each with a 3-lb capacity. I am rolling 15 lbs of rock 24/7. This mostly happens in the background for a week at a time. After a week, it is time to clean off the stones and inspect them. Some get moved to the next stage, some need a little more work and will stay. Sometimes, they crack and break and may need to return to the first stage and start over. Stage 1 is for Shaping the stones, rounding off sharp edges, and clearing surface damage. Stage 2 begins Smoothing the stones so they can take a polish. Stage 3 is Pre-Polish which makes the stones very smooth. And the Polish stage is where the stones are given a good shine. Not all stones will shine. Soft and porous stones will keep a dull matte finish, so I spray them with Clear Coat to bring out their colors and features.

Any time I am outside, I am always looking at rocks. Sometimes the colors catch my eye. Maybe it's the banding, swirls, or even clarity when a light shines through them. Sometimes I recognize what kind of stone it is and how it was made. Other times I will be completely bewildered. I still enjoy them.

(https://i.imgur.com/auNtZrh.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/PYhpDyT.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/QQc08da.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/pU29Xdl.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/Y6mKfA9.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/xstBDD2.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/lMQkQkW.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/BQFi0Ft.jpeg)

Isn't Nature just grand?

Those are great, Lori! What do you do with them?

The only reason I ask is we had this woman in our department (her title was "secretary" but it might as well have been "person who actually runs things since everyone else here has the maturity of a child" - but that's too long for a desk plate) and she collected/polished stones as well!

She would fill clear vases and/or tall squared or oval glass jars with stones and put them on her desk and the effect was quite lovely. Everyone would always comment on them.

They were always a source of UTTER fascination for every coach's child who ever ventured by her desk, especially!!

But I also know, from what she said, there are countless other things people do with their stones... and some people just like to polish them for the sake of polishing them and enjoying them as is!

Curiously yours,
Allie

@imallie

Thanks, Allie!

I am in the process of learning how to make wire-wrap jewelry with them. Not all of them are jewelry-grade, or the right size, so I have some in a candy dish and others in small bowls. Most will become either necklace pendants or possibly keychains.

Rough Stones to Jewelry (https://imgur.com/a/rX0k4Ho)

Hugs!

Hi Lori

You said;

Quote from: LoriDee on March 20, 2024, 02:48:20 PMIs there a way that we can codify this into law?

Instead of 50 gazillion things not to discriminate against, why not make the law clear and simple?

Thou shalt not discriminate. Period.

(https://i.imgur.com/NkaIg8m.jpeg)

Simple, put it into the constitution!

Hugs
Sarah B
@LoriDee

Quote from: LoriDee on March 20, 2024, 09:28:53 PM@imallie

Thanks, Allie!

I am in the process of learning how to make wire-wrap jewelry with them. Not all of them are jewelry-grade, or the right size, so I have some in a candy dish and others in small bowls. Most will become either necklace pendants or possibly keychains.

Rough Stones to Jewelry (https://imgur.com/a/rX0k4Ho)

Hugs!

Oh very nice!!!

Hey Lori!

Your post above got Illusions swirling in my head and inspired me to open my copy of Messiah's Handbook I keep in my nightstand this morning and see what quote came up... Some of the quotes were used in Illusions but, most were not... Today's was a good one for all who see it...

"The Only Thing That Shatters Dreams Is Compromise" 🌻

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29944.Messiah_s_Handbook

Onward We Go!

A 😀💕🌻

Another of my favorites:

"In order to live free and happily,
you must sacrifice boredom.
It is not always an easy sacrifice."

Hugs!

Quote from: LoriDee on March 21, 2024, 03:38:55 PMAnother of my favorites:

"In order to live free and happily,
you must sacrifice boredom.
It is not always an easy sacrifice."

Hugs!

and the ever popular...

"Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours"

Onward!

A 😀💕🌻

"No act of kindness is too small."

Chrissy

"every cloud has a silver lining" well it does for me.

Seeing so many wonderful posts over in Photography, got me putting together some pics I took last summer when I was homeless/camping/prospecting/waiting for my new apartment to get built. I took hundreds of pics. I won't post them all right here.

In early 2015, when I first moved to the Black Hills, I studied the history. Specifically, the gold mining history. What I learned was that most of the old abandoned gold mines were not abandoned due to a lack of gold. During World War II, gold mines were closed as they were not considered "essential" to the war effort. That left a lot of unemployed young men to go off to fight the war. When they returned (if they returned), many were too old or disabled to resume mining. The mines filled with water, became run-down and very dangerous places. Many had previously used dangerous chemicals like arsenic or mercury. The gold is still there, it just isn't easy to get to. For decades, the mines sat because the price of gold made reopening old mines prohibiting. Today, with gold price at over $2,000 per ounce, large mining companies are looking into buying up old gold claims.

(https://i.imgur.com/9o1McCC.jpg)
Empire Gold Mine was a top producer in Pennington County, SD

My favorite photo was taken in August 2017. I was in the creek getting set up to do some mining. The valleys are steep, so it takes time for the sun to rise high enough to warm the valley below. I looked upstream and the sun was warming up that area while I was still in the shade. It was so peaceful and calm, I had to snap a pic. Behind me is where I have been digging gold since May 2017. This picture hangs on my wall to this day.

(https://i.imgur.com/MrjvV0G.jpg)

Interesting history.  World Wars caused a migration of farmers.  Farm boys in Vermont heard about places where folks could farm without hitting rocks all day long and moved west!

Very beautiful picture Lori. 

Mission Impossible: The Story of Old Blue

Grab some popcorn while I regale you with this tale of woe and despair. Ok, well maybe that is inaccurate. Sue me.

For those who may not be gold miners and unfamiliar with some of the jargon, a "lead" (pronounced Leed), is an indicator that gold may be found in the area. There is a town in the Northern Black Hills of South Dakota by that name with a very large gold mine. The Homestake Gold Mine was one of the top gold producers in the U.S.

There is a particular type of rock that has a blue-colored sheen to it, and the old-time prospectors called it "blue lead". Again, it is a lead (clue). One summer, I was with my mining buddy and we were digging samples from a new location in the creek. Just below the surface of the fine sand was a blue rock!

My buddy is no slouch when it comes to unearthing large rocks from our "office". Our thinking is that this rock has been sitting in this spot for hundreds if not thousands or even millions of years. What is under it? As a blue lead, it could very well be sitting on top of a large gold deposit. So we started digging all around it to see if we could loosen it up and lift it out of the hole. We nicknamed the rock "Old Blue".

We dug and we dug and could not locate all of the edges. How big is this thing? We kept digging and digging and digging. We soon realized that we were not going to be able to lift it ourselves. I returned to my truck and brought back more tools. I have a cable puller that can pull 2,000 lbs. I have an extra pulley that I rig so that I can pull 4,000 lbs (2 tons).

The plan was to dig under the rock enough to be able to wrap a tow strap around it, and then attach the cable puller. I can anchor it to a tree on the shore and winch Old Blue out of the creek. But we couldn't find the bottom of it! I dug a hole four feet deep and still did not find the bottom of the rock.

We were only able to unearth two sides of this massive boulder. We were able to clear off about 8 feet x 5 feet, but could not find the other edges, or get underneath. I was beginning to suspect that this might be a chunk of bedrock that formed the bottom of the creek. But there are no other rocks in the area that are this color.

(https://i.imgur.com/yk0cXL9.jpeg)

All of the sand and gravel we pulled out of the hole was loaded with very nice chunky gold. That is a very good sign that we were close to the source vein. If we could just get that beast out of the hole!

This was late Fall, so the temps were starting to get colder. We worked the rest of the season trying to unearth Old Blue, but never got her to budge even the slightest. Never got a strap around her. Eventually, it just got too cold and we had to wrap it up.

(https://i.imgur.com/esousOd.jpeg)

The following Spring we had a flood. The water level was almost five feet above Old Blue. The holes filled with gravel and rocks and we had to start all over. Then COVID happened and we decided to sit the season out and let the flood waters recede.

To this day Old Blue is still in the same spot, buried about two inches below the surface just waiting for me to try again.

What is the best theory as to why the lead stone is correlated to finding gold?  Are the forces that caused the gold to be present there the same forces that cause the blue stone to be present?

AS I understand it the gold comes to the surface from volcanic activity, usually associated with quartz. So if the blue rock is some sort of volcanic material then yes a good indicator for a gold seam but then it could be the edge of a HUGE slab.

@REM.1126

I think it is just one of those things that happen often enough to point to and say, "See?" but when it doesn't happen, no one notices. I suspect that it has something to do with copper content. The best place to find gold is where there is a high mineral content. In this area, that means lots of copper, silver, tin (cassiterite), manganese, etc. I think the copper/silver content may be responsible for the color. But I am just guessing.

@davina61

You are correct about the formation of gold in the earth, but quartz is just a side-effect. Quartz (silicon oxide) is the second-most common mineral on the planet. So it is common to find gold in quartz, but also quartz with no gold. In every place I have ever found gold, there was quartz, iron, and garnets. All three or I struck out. I had never encountered a blue lead like that before, so I got really excited. As we were digging, I was feeding the sand and gravel through the sluice box. Seeing the gold just fed the excitement. But the truth is that it hasn't happened enough for me to confirm or deny the stories.

How often do you pan for gold?

Chrissy

@ChrissyRyan

"How often do you pan for gold?"

Years ago I would camp on the creek for a week at a time. Now I try to go two or three times a week. Age is catching up with me, so it takes longer to recover. I think HRT might also have something to do with it. I don't have the upper body strength that I used to have. I seem to have more doctor appointments than before too. I know there will come a time when I just can't do it anymore. But each year I head back out saying, "I'm not done yet!"

Just returned from an appointment in Sturgis at the Fort Meade VA Hospital. Today was my first-ever Bone Density Scan. 80-minute round-trip drive for 15 minutes on the table. My doctor will receive the full report in a few days. The preliminary results are that I do indeed have bones. She refused to comment further. So, yay! I got bones!

 ;D

When I had a scan on my wrist the tec said I had good bone density, all the years on the spanners I suspect. Only thing is the years on the spanners are coming home to roost now and I am finding it harder to work on the hot rod, HRT not helping as well.

Quote from: LoriDee on March 26, 2024, 04:45:21 PMJust returned from an appointment in Sturgis at the Fort Meade VA Hospital. Today was my first-ever Bone Density Scan. 80-minute round-trip drive for 15 minutes on the table. My doctor will receive the full report in a few days. The preliminary results are that I do indeed have bones. She refused to comment further. So, yay! I got bones!

 ;D

It is good to have bones.

Chrissy

When I had my first density scan it was at the start of HRT and I was still in stealth. I was the only "man" there. I was a bit uncomfortable but they scan for other reasons than just osteoporosis, right? 
Gina

Even men can have osteoporosis. But I believe you are correct that they use the scan to see other things. It is such a low dose of radiation, that the technician operated the scanner from her desk right next to the bed I was lying on. She said the dose was less than an x-ray. The room wasn't even in the Radiology Department, where patients were waiting for DEXA (Bone Density), CT, MRI, and X-ray. Men and women both were waiting there to be seen.

Yesterday was a busy one for me.

I had a morning appointment with my VA Psychologist. She hooked me up to a biofeedback machine to teach me how to use paced breathing for stress reduction. She did a baseline test run of about five minutes where I just do diaphragmatic breathing, then she shows me on the graph how I need to work on my Heart Variability Rate. When she called "time," she asked if I was just messing with her. My breathing rate was near perfect and my Heart Variability Rate was very good. All I did was use my own hypnosis techniques coupled with the breathing technique that she taught me.

So then our discussion switched over to hypnosis and the ways that the mind can heal the body, no matter what the illness. She seemed skeptical, so I gave her several anecdotes of video-recorded hypnosis sessions where it appeared miracles were being performed. She stated that she was still skeptical since video can be faked. I asked her if she trusted the National Institute of Health. I gave her a link to a web seminar where a psychiatrist with a very long list of credentials demonstrates to healthcare providers how clinical hypnosis can be helpful in their practice. For example, helping someone through a dental procedure without anesthesia.

In that seminar, he presented a case of a man with Parkinson's Disease who needed a brain implant to control the tremors in his right arm. The patient must be awake so that the surgeon can speak with him to ensure the implant is placed in exactly the correct location. The patient could not relax long enough to do the surgery. The hypnosis session helped him relax, but the miraculous part is that while relaxed (and without any suggestion), the tremors in his arm stopped.

For those who don't know, Parkinson's involves actual physical damage to the nervous system. It is not a psychosomatic disease. So the question I gave my Psychologist was, "How is it possible for the Subconscious Mind to temporarily bypass physical damage to the nervous system." She said it is not possible. And yet she just witnessed it happen.

I told her that I know the answer. It is how spiritual healing is accomplished every day, and I am such a healer. (I am an 11th Degree Rosicrucian). She immediately made me promise to share my wealth with her when I figure out how to permanently cure Parkinson's.  ;D

That afternoon, I was scheduled to phone in for a Group Therapy session. I got busy with other things and lost track of the time. I went to call in and my phone was dead. But I still had time to drive back down to the VA and attend Group in person. I am so glad I did! I finally got to meet our two Transgender Care Coordinators in person, and three other trans veteran women. The meeting went well but I was concerned about the body language the other ladies were exhibiting. They were clearly uncomfortable even though they were "regulars" to the Group.

They participated in the activities, I just wish there was something I could do to help them relax and understand that they were in a safe place. Maybe as we get to know each other better, things will loosen up.

Overall, it was a good day. I like good days.  :)

I agree deep meditation can slow the heart rate and do wonders for the body. I used to practice daily and had a tooth filled with no Novocain. The dentist said it was a deep cavity and he didn't recommend not using Novocain. Also said if I started squirming around to much he would stop. A few seconds of deep breathing and relaxing I transported myself to my favorite lake to fish during the procedure. The annoying thing was the dentist kept stopping and asking if I was still with him!! Making me respond. I suppose I should have explained a bit before he started. I have gotten out of practice but I should really do more.

Pain management was what got me interested in hypnosis in the first place. I specialized in it in my practice, but most clients were there to lose weight or quit some habit like smoking or nail biting.

In the video, the psychiatrist's only suggestion was for the man to go to a favorite place. He imagined he was lying on a beach and the tremors in his arm stopped.

This is the web seminar if anyone wants to watch:
Tranceformation: Hypnosis in Brain and Body (https://videocast.nih.gov/summary.asp?Live=15741&bhcp=1)

I hope you have a wonderful day.  I hope that everyone has a wonderful day.

Now, go make it so!

Chrissy

Day 10 of "Early Spring".
33 degrees and sideways snow.
I think the Sun is taking a holiday.
<sigh>

Quote from: LoriDee on March 30, 2024, 02:34:26 PMDay 10 of "Early Spring".
33 degrees and sideways snow.
I think the Sun is taking a holiday.
<sigh>

Same here in northern Nevada.  We had a few days of spring a week ago.  It's been snowing pretty much non-stop for the last 2 days.  I think we've gotten a foot of snow overall, but it's been melting off at times as the temperature swings between, just below freezing and 38 degrees (F). Oh so muddy. 

Happy Easter Lori.

Warm Regards,
Paulie.

@LoriDee    @Paulie

Yes indeed, winter is not letting go.  It has been
unseasonable colder that it should be for this time of year.

Temperature now 16 degrees(f) (-9 C) and forecast to be much colder
in the next few days:
  Sunday                  10 degrees(f) (-12 C
  Monday                  4 degrees(f)  (-16C)
  Tuesday      (minus)  -5 degrees(f) (-21 C)
  Wednesday            7 degrees(f)  (-14 C)

I am wondering...
does this mean that we will have a hotter than normal summer?

Stay warm everyone.
HUGS, Danielle

It has been very nice and springy here in the south of the UK, a couple of days without rain, temp yesterday was 13C not a cloud in the sky. This morning 7am there is not a sky in the cloud. Max temp is expected to be 14c rain coming in the evening then rain for the rest of the week.

Hugs
Jessica
Xxx

It was wall to wall blue first thing but cloudy now although its not rained yet. 2 week long range says rain every day, I need to do some gardening----------

The snow continues to fall, but at 33 degrees (F) it isn't sticking. The streets are wet but no ice.
Had a great lunch and now I'm fat and lazy. Time for PJs and a nap.

Happy Easter, all.

I just got back from a friend's house.  But I have had time to shower and get comfy in my nightgown.  I will listen to some music, read perhaps, catch a podcast, then doze off.

Chrissy

We now have about four inches of snow on the ground. On the bright side, it looks like Christmas outside. Spring time? April Fools!

Quote from: LoriDee on March 31, 2024, 10:55:10 PMWe now have about four inches of snow on the ground. On the bright side, it looks like Christmas outside.

Our neighbor wished us Merry Easter in light of the Christmas look outside.

Paulie

@Paulie

That's great! Merry Easter, everyone.
Does Santa Bunny wrap the eggs, or just hide the presents?

I am all for a good prank or practical joke on April Fool's Day, but I think a line has been crossed.
I have contacted the Pennsylvania Department of Fish & Game and applied for a Groundhog Hunting license. I wonder how many assassination attempts have been made against old Punxsutawney Phil over the years.

(https://i.imgur.com/WsYZU1D.jpeg)
It is still snowing. This is really putting a damper on my outdoor activities. I live in Rapid City, not even up in the mountains.

Tomorrow's forecast calls for sunny and 53. If true, we will have to deal with flooding when all this crap melts. On the plus side, flood waters in the creeks dislodge gold. Maybe this is just a set up for me to have a banner year. If not, I can spend my summer in Pennsylvania hunting a certain groundhog.  ;D

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:

Unseasonably cold this Spring for me too.

Welcome to my world !!!!
Temperature is 7 deg(f)  [-14C)

(https://i.imgur.com/OX17satm.jpg)

It is beautiful in Alabama.

@Northern Star Girl

I don't know how you do it. I would love to do some prospecting up there, but the ground only thaws out for about fifteen minutes a year.  ;D

@REM.1126

In my senior year of high school, I lived in Crestview, Florida. I loved the South! The Gulf's clear ocean water and the white sand beaches. That was the first time I ever saw pine trees growing on a beach not far from sea oats. We would skip across the border into Alabama to buy beer. When I joined the Army I told the recruiter I wanted to be stationed in Florida. The closest he could get me was Fort Polk, LA. Many years later, both my children went to college in Pensacola. I seriously considered moving back many times.

I should also mention that we hit 60 degrees today and the snow is gone. And no flooding so far.

Quote from: LoriDee on April 03, 2024, 11:03:22 PMI should also mention that we hit 60 degrees today and the snow is gone. And no flooding so far.

Tuesday we were at a baseball game (albeit a chilly one) - right now it's snowing and we're due to get anywhere from 3-6 inches tomorrow.  *deep sigh*

It looks like the start of my mining season might still be another month away. Our so-called "Early Spring" has yet to manifest. Today and tomorrow will be rain/snow and everything in between mix.

In 1972, we had a flood here that destroyed part of Rapid City. Google can show you pictures. It was devastating. In response, the US Geological Survey installed stream gauges along waterways from up in the mountains out to the flatlands as an early warning system. The ones in higher elevations measure precipitation, water depth, and water volume. Further downstream they monitor just water depth and flow.

Their website has access to live data coming from these gauges. The one that I watch is shown below. It is quite a ways downstream from my mining area, but over the years I have learned how to extrapolate the data.

(https://i.imgur.com/CONlR7J.jpeg)

As you can see, our recent precipitation has had a significant impact on the creek. The water level has only risen about one foot. The gauge reads a water depth (not shown) of 5.2 feet. I know that at my location that means the water will be about three feet deep. That is ideal for my uses.

However, the discharge amount (shown above) shows the creek is flowing at over 61 cubic feet per second. That is dangerously fast and I won't venture out into that. To give you a visual, one cubic foot is about the size of a bowling ball. American bowling, not Bocci. Imagine standing on the bank of a creek and 61 bowling balls go past you every second. That's fast-moving water.

Since it takes me about 20 minutes to drive up to my site, I check the gauge to see what is happening and if it is worth making the trip. Since the weather is crap and the water is unsafe, I will stay in PJs and fuzzy socks and make jewelry today.

It was dry yesterday and today here but so Wiiiiinnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyy. I was hoping to get on the veg patch but looks like it will be okay next weekend. Might get up to 20C as well.

Now this I think we can all relate to. I just saw a meme (I won't post it here) that went something like this.

Doctor to you: "You need this medication."
Doctor to Pharmacy: "She needs this medication."
Pharmacy to Insurance: "She needs this medication."
Insurance Company: "Does she though? Let's ask her doctor."

I've been going through this (as you know) concerning electrolysis. My Psychologist submitted a consult to Minneapolis VA who have a non-VA electrolysis provider where they send their veteran patients. My Psychologist asked if it is possible to send me to that provider, or possibly to send me to Minneapolis VA so they can send me to their provider. Simple, right?

Without even looking at my records, Minneapolis had a team of not less than three people respond. They all stated that my records need to have documented that this is not cosmetic, but "medically necessary". The provider in Minneapolis does laser only, not electrolysis. The VA (the largest healthcare provider in the United States) has no one that does electrolysis in-house. And since the VA will cover electrolysis for pre-op genital surgery, it is automatically considered "medically necessary".

So my Psychologist (God bless her) did a deep dive, combing through my medical records. She quoted various provider notes going back to 2019 that show a determination of "medically necessary" no less than three times each year. The providers making that determination include my Primary Care Physician, three Psychologists, two Endocrinologists, a Gynecologist, and the Medical Chief of Staff for the Black Hills Healthcare System.

So now, we have firmly established the need (mental health), and the medical necessity. The next obstacle is a provider. Every provider that I have contacted (over 20 in all) demands payment at the time of service, cash or credit. The VA pays their bills like an insurance company. And there are none in the immediate area.

I found a provider that I am interested in. I won't post a link, but Clear4Life in Williams Bay, WI does electrolysis on any body part, including for gender-affirming surgery. I am trying to get the VA to cover the costs of travel, service, food, and lodging for an overnight stay if needed, or give me written approval guaranteeing reimbursement if I pay for it all myself on a credit card. I could just get it done, but the VA likes to take months to reimburse expenses. That won't work for me. Electrolysis requires multiple sessions and I will be paying credit card interest rates. I need to be reimbursed within 60 days or else I will quickly max out my credit limit.

I am continuing to standby to standby in case I need to standby to hurry up and wait.  ;D

Quote from: LoriDee on April 08, 2024, 10:22:46 AMNow this I think we can all relate to. I just saw a meme (I won't post it here) that went something like this.

Doctor to you: "You need this medication."
Doctor to Pharmacy: "She needs this medication."
Pharmacy to Insurance: "She needs this medication."
Insurance Company: "Does she though? Let's ask her doctor."

I've been going through this (as you know) concerning electrolysis. My Psychologist submitted a consult to Minneapolis VA who have a non-VA electrolysis provider where they send their veteran patients. My Psychologist asked if it is possible to send me to that provider, or possibly to send me to Minneapolis VA so they can send me to their provider. Simple, right?

Without even looking at my records, Minneapolis had a team of not less than three people respond. They all stated that my records need to have documented that this is not cosmetic, but "medically necessary". The provider in Minneapolis does laser only, not electrolysis. The VA (the largest healthcare provider in the United States) has no one that does electrolysis in-house. And since the VA will cover electrolysis for pre-op genital surgery, it is automatically considered "medically necessary".

So my Psychologist (God bless her) did a deep dive, combing through my medical records. She quoted various provider notes going back to 2019 that show a determination of "medically necessary" no less than three times each year. The providers making that determination include my Primary Care Physician, three Psychologists, two Endocrinologists, a Gynecologist, and the Medical Chief of Staff for the Black Hills Healthcare System.

So now, we have firmly established the need (mental health), and the medical necessity. The next obstacle is a provider. Every provider that I have contacted (over 20 in all) demands payment at the time of service, cash or credit. The VA pays their bills like an insurance company. And there are none in the immediate area.

I found a provider that I am interested in. I won't post a link, but Clear4Life in Williams Bay, WI does electrolysis on any body part, including for gender-affirming surgery. I am trying to get the VA to cover the costs of travel, service, food, and lodging for an overnight stay if needed, or give me written approval guaranteeing reimbursement if I pay for it all myself on a credit card. I could just get it done, but the VA likes to take months to reimburse expenses. That won't work for me. Electrolysis requires multiple sessions and I will be paying credit card interest rates. I need to be reimbursed within 60 days or else I will quickly max out my credit limit.

I am continuing to standby to standby in case I need to standby to hurry up and wait.  ;D

I do not have any VA coverage or know how they operate. The best situation seems to be is for the VA to pay the provider directly (and reasonably quickly) but you know that!  This would avoid any heartbreak if you paid the provider and later find the VA will not pay after all.

I wish you the best results Lori.  I realize that this is a tough financial situation.

Another option to consider is that you can get some services cheaper with discount offers like a Groupon deal.  You will pay it all but at a lower fee.  Maybe you can get a few initial sessions this way to see how it is like for you.

I would not expect anyone to pay for my lodging but I do not know how the VA works.
If it is an entitlement, try to obtain it.  It would be another way for the country to compensate you for your long military service.  Thank you for serving.

Chrissy

@ChrissyRyan

Thanks, Chrissy! And thank you for your support!

Because I am a disabled veteran all of my medical care is covered within the limits of government regulations. I pay a reduced copay for meds, but that is all. Anything covered means all expenses are covered, including travel and related expenses to get that care.

The VA will not cover anything considered "cosmetic". Hence the need to establish "medically necessary" care. Hormone Therapy is medically necessary, as are various "cosmetic" prosthetics such as wigs, breast forms, binders, gaffs, and packers. The other glitch is that the VA does not pay providers directly. They use an insurance company. In the midwest it is Optum. Out west it is Tri-Care.

Insurance companies never pay on demand, even if a procedure is medically necessary and pre-approved. And electrolysis providers demand "payment at the time of service". Somewhere in the country, there are a few providers that have agreed to treat veterans and accept the VA's insurance payments. Most of them are still in the process of getting state licenses, and certifications, and signing the contracts. So there is movement in this area.

The next big hurdle is gender-affirming surgery. Currently, government regulations prohibit "gender-altering" surgeries of any kind. So that includes genitals, facial feminization, voice surgery, tracheal shaves, etc. A complaint was filed against the VA in 2016 claiming that this was discriminatory in that it discriminates against transgender veterans and only transgender veterans. The VA said they agreed and would change their policy. In 2018, the VA said they had to change the Federal Regulations in order to change their policy. In 2021, the VA said they were changing the regulations, but it would take about two years to implement since they needed equipment and trained personnel. In 2024, TAVA (Transgender American Veterans Association) filed a lawsuit against the VA to get a court order for the VA to change the regulations immediately and stop stalling. That case is still pending.

There is another option that I am looking into. I don't recall where I saw it, but there are organizations that provide grants for gender-affirming care. The funds are limited and they receive many applications each year. I fear that I would apply, receive the funds, and then the VA would start covering the care as promised. I don't want to take funds that could be available for someone else who may need care immediately if my care is going to be covered.

There is progress being made and I don't mind waiting in line, but I don't want to try to get all this done when I am 70 (in three years). I'd like to start living MY life.  ;D

Lori,

Go to jimcollinsfoundation.org

The 2025 grant cycle will open on June 1, 2024 and will close on August 15, 2024.


Chrissy

I will check it out, thanks!

The one I was thinking of applications had to be in by November.

Quote from: LoriDee on April 08, 2024, 01:43:04 PM@ChrissyRyan

Thanks, Chrissy! And thank you for your support!

Because I am a disabled veteran all of my medical care is covered within the limits of government regulations. I pay a reduced copay for meds, but that is all. Anything covered means all expenses are covered, including travel and related expenses to get that care.

The VA will not cover anything considered "cosmetic". Hence the need to establish "medically necessary" care. Hormone Therapy is medically necessary, as are various "cosmetic" prosthetics such as wigs, breast forms, binders, gaffs, and packers. The other glitch is that the VA does not pay providers directly. They use an insurance company. In the midwest it is Optum. Out west it is Tri-Care.

Insurance companies never pay on demand, even if a procedure is medically necessary and pre-approved. And electrolysis providers demand "payment at the time of service". Somewhere in the country, there are a few providers that have agreed to treat veterans and accept the VA's insurance payments. Most of them are still in the process of getting state licenses, and certifications, and signing the contracts. So there is movement in this area.

The next big hurdle is gender-affirming surgery. Currently, government regulations prohibit "gender-altering" surgeries of any kind. So that includes genitals, facial feminization, voice surgery, tracheal shaves, etc. A complaint was filed against the VA in 2016 claiming that this was discriminatory in that it discriminates against transgender veterans and only transgender veterans. The VA said they agreed and would change their policy. In 2018, the VA said they had to change the Federal Regulations in order to change their policy. In 2021, the VA said they were changing the regulations, but it would take about two years to implement since they needed equipment and trained personnel. In 2024, TAVA (Transgender American Veterans Association) filed a lawsuit against the VA to get a court order for the VA to change the regulations immediately and stop stalling. That case is still pending.

There is another option that I am looking into. I don't recall where I saw it, but there are organizations that provide grants for gender-affirming care. The funds are limited and they receive many applications each year. I fear that I would apply, receive the funds, and then the VA would start covering the care as promised. I don't want to take funds that could be available for someone else who may need care immediately if my care is going to be covered.

There is progress being made and I don't mind waiting in line, but I don't want to try to get all this done when I am 70 (in three years). I'd like to start living MY life.  ;D

I hope you all of this taken care of. You seem thoughtful and you are nice looking.

Thank you again for serving our country with your military service.

I wonder if Admiral Rachel Levine could help you with the VA.  She is transgender, and she is a four star admiral, and she is a MD.

Chrissy

She is the Assistant Secretary of Health. Maybe some influence but the VA is like its own animal. Also, Dr. Levine's rank is in the United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps. Same government but a different agency. But then again, if I'm going on a letter-writing crusade, I can always include Mr. Biden. I have responses from Reagan and Obama from previous crusades.  ;D  Not that anything got done. Hard to expect action from a politician.

Yup not unless it wins votes or puts $/£s in their pockets (cynical me?!)

Hey Lori -

Just a suggestion based on what I know from my son's experiences working within the Federal government:

I know you're in PA - and I believe there your districts are pretty well split between dems/rep in terms of congress members. So I'm not sure who your member is. But if you've got a dem representing you, I think you might want to try contacting your rep's office.

They are (well, the good offices any way) EXCELLENT at negotiating the red tape of the VA, Social Security, etc... whatever constituent issues arise. And if you get lucky you might find an advocate in the office who can open some doors for you and might know who to call and make things happen for you.

If you happen to not have a friendly congress member, you could reach out to your senator — but their constituent service game is not as tight, but again... might be worth a call/email.

Love,
Allie

Thanks, Allie

But I am in South Dakota, one of the reddest of the red states. I was born in PA but only lived there for six months. (I was six months old when our family moved to CA.)

I have contacted our congressman, Governor, and Senator on several occasions unrelated to this. You are correct in that they have some pull with government agencies. When I was in the service, one thing that our commanders absolutely dreaded was a Congressional Investigation. They usually ended with people resigning or going to jail.

As always, I do appreciate your advice.

Hugs!

Quote from: LoriDee on April 08, 2024, 09:32:40 PMThanks, Allie

But I am in South Dakota, one of the reddest of the red states. I was born in PA but only lived there for six months. (I was six months old when our family moved to CA.)

I have contacted our congressman, Governor, and Senator on several occasions unrelated to this. You are correct in that they have some pull with government agencies. When I was in the service, one thing that our commanders absolutely dreaded was a Congressional Investigation. They usually ended with people resigning or going to jail.

As always, I do appreciate your advice.

Hugs!

Ugh sorry. 

Thune isn't the worst R of them all, but your lone rep is Dusty Johnson, right? I can't imagine in a one rep state that they are very proactive with constituent services even if they were LGBTQ+ friendly.

Sorry for the confusion. Not sure why I thought you were a PA gal. 🤔

Yeah, Dusty Johnson talked a good game to begin with. Shortly after his election, he started toeing the line and kissing up to Queen Kristi Noem. I was at Mount Rushmore to see Donald Trump give his speech. Dusty Johnson was the only state delegate to wear a mask (Covid was still a thing). By the end of the speech, he had removed the mask and put it away. After that, I started paying attention to what he did in office and how it compared to Queen Kristi's Executive Orders.

Thune is all Republican. He is the senior Republican and on numerous committees. He won't risk his chances for higher office. I wrote to him on several occasions about gun rights. He supported several "red flag" laws that I disapprove of. The laws allowed anyone with a grudge to file a complaint and have your personal property confiscated without notice or going to court. He tried to tell me that the laws were designed to pre-emptively prevent people with mental illness from owning a gun. I reminded him that the Constitution does not state that certain people do not have a 2nd Amendment right. Until the Constitution is changed, only a court of competent authority can prevent a citizen from exercising all of their rights. I also cited about ten Supreme Court cases that prove he is wrong.

He decided not to respond, so I challenged him to a debate. Again, no reply.

I finally realized that the whole political system is corrupt to the core.

Quote from: LoriDee on April 08, 2024, 10:26:10 PMYeah, Dusty Johnson talked a good game to begin with. Shortly after his election, he started toeing the line and kissing up to Queen Kristi Noem. I was at Mount Rushmore to see Donald Trump give his speech. Dusty Johnson was the only state delegate to wear a mask (Covid was still a thing). By the end of the speech, he had removed the mask and put it away. After that, I started paying attention to what he did in office and how it compared to Queen Kristi's Executive Orders.

Thune is all Republican. He is the senior Republican and on numerous committees. He won't risk his chances for higher office. I wrote to him on several occasions about gun rights. He supported several "red flag" laws that I disapprove of. The laws allowed anyone with a grudge to file a complaint and have your personal property confiscated without notice or going to court. He tried to tell me that the laws were designed to pre-emptively prevent people with mental illness from owning a gun. I reminded him that the Constitution does not state that certain people do not have a 2nd Amendment right. Until the Constitution is changed, only a court of competent authority can prevent a citizen from exercising all of their rights. I also cited about ten Supreme Court cases that prove he is wrong.

He decided not to respond, so I challenged him to a debate. Again, no reply.

I finally realized that the whole political system is corrupt to the core.

I don't think it's the whole system. I just think you happen to live where the cogs in the machine are broken beyond repair.

QuoteThe next big hurdle is gender-affirming surgery. Currently, government regulations prohibit "gender-altering" surgeries of any kind. So that includes genitals, facial feminization, voice surgery, tracheal shaves, etc. A complaint was filed against the VA in 2016 claiming that this was discriminatory in that it discriminates against transgender veterans and only transgender veterans. The VA said they agreed and would change their policy. In 2018, the VA said they had to change the Federal Regulations in order to change their policy. In 2021, the VA said they were changing the regulations, but it would take about two years to implement since they needed equipment and trained personnel. In 2024, TAVA (Transgender American Veterans Association) filed a lawsuit against the VA to get a court order for the VA to change the regulations immediately and stop stalling. That case is still pending.

I would argue that we aren't changing our gender, we are simply trying to correct an unfortunate birth defect. It's not our fault that we were born with the wrong equipment, or that people couldn't recognize our thought patterns, so they treated us as the gender they assumed / wanted us to be. Just about any other birth anomaly would have been corrected without our consent, but correcting other people's assumption about who we are requires a long, expensive fight. Good luck Lori, and everyone else who is fighting this battle.

Love always -- Jess

Lori,

I have another counseling session this afternoon. I hope it is helpful.

On another matter, I will be signing off here momentarily, gosh I have so many posts still to try to read and respond to during the day, but I just need to get ready for the day.

I have this absolutely beautiful navy floral long dress and cute short boots I plan to wear today.  This is absolutely gorgeous.  Wish that myself had a better body but I wore this last evening and my sweetie gave me nice compliments, she loved it too.

Gotta go. 

Chrissy

ChrissyRyan
Dear Chrissy:  
I am wishing you well with your therapy session. 
The outfit that you described that you are going to wear sounds beautiful....
.... 
Let us know how your session went for you.
HUGS, Danielle

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 09, 2024, 08:39:46 AMLori,

I have another counseling session this afternoon. I hope it is helpful.

On another matter, I will be signing off here momentarily, gosh I have so many posts still to try to read and respond to during the day, but I just need to get ready for the day.

I have this absolutely beautiful navy floral long dress and cute short boots I plan to wear today.  This is absolutely gorgeous.  Wish that myself had a better body but I wore this last evening and my sweetie gave me nice compliments, she loved it too.

Gotta go. 

Chrissy

@Jessica_Rose

I agree with you 100%. I have always questioned the term "Gender Dysphoria". We are not dysphoric about our gender. We don't change our gender. The correct diagnosis is "Body Dysphoria" and it applies to non-transgender people as well. Gender-affirming surgery is aptly named.

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
You are "right-on" with your comment regarding GD and with GRS
Thank you for sharing.
HUGS, Danielle

Quote from: LoriDee on April 09, 2024, 09:45:24 AM@Jessica_Rose

I agree with you 100%. I have always questioned the term "Gender Dysphoria". We are not dysphoric about our gender. We don't change our gender. The correct diagnosis is "Body Dysphoria" and it applies to non-transgender people as well. Gender-affirming surgery is aptly named.

Hi Lori

You will love this posting by me!!!!!

Gender Dysphoria Proven Wrong (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,81855.msg582835.html#msg582835)

and this

One of my Posts on it (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,81855.msg582410.html#msg582410)

Written 14 years ago

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

I like your thinking!

When I was in school learning hypnotherapy, we briefly studied gender identity. I think we were using Version V, and now I think we are on to version VI.

There are different classifications for various mental issues. "Dysphoria" merely means being somehow disturbed by something. I have "Neighbor Dysphoria" because my neighbors disturb me often. However, it is not classified as a "disorder" unless it interferes with your life (socializing, family, work, school, etc.). So you can have Body Dysphoria, meaning you are disturbed by how your body looks, acts, or is shaped. Many people who are transgender may not be "disturbed" by it enough to want hormones or surgery. They are no less transgender, they just are not dysphoric to the point of it being a disorder. Their coping mechanisms allow them to live in stealth or be content with the uneasiness.

Back in earlier versions of the DSM, this distinction was clear and it was called "Gender Identity Disorder". This is what we now call "Gender Dysphoria". But note that it is not a "disorder" unless it is severe enough to interfere with one's life. Now they have everything lumped together under the diagnosis of "Transvestism" with two sub-categories. One for cross-dressers and one for transgendered persons.

Another thing concerning the "mental illness" part. The reason is to determine if one is dysphoric, and is that dysphoria a disorder. It is also to determine if some other cause results in that behavior or thinking. One could be schizophrenic or delusional. Gender Identity is mental. You can't see it on an MRI, so it must be examined by a mental health professional. The point is to narrow it down to a specific diagnosis. You can go to a physician and not be sick. Most mental health professionals go to other mental health professionals. It doesn't mean they have a mental illness.

My psychologist's diagnosis is something along the lines of "Transvestism: with chronic gender dysphoria since adolescence." He didn't know me when I was young, so he made that determination by my answers to his questions and the descriptions I gave when relating specific events. In my opinion, it started when I was about six years old, but his diagnosis accomplished the same thing. For many of us, puberty is the most difficult to deal with (if we have a disorder).

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on April 09, 2024, 09:42:14 AM ChrissyRyan
Dear Chrissy:  
I am wishing you well with your therapy session. 
The outfit that you described that you are going to wear sounds beautiful....
.... 
Let us know how your session went for you.
HUGS, Danielle

My appointment is coming up in a little while today.  I have a lot on my mind.

Chrissy

No exciting news today. It will hit 80 degrees today. That's F, not C for you ladies across the pond.  ;D

I am struggling with dysphoria today. But I am having lunch with the girls to repay them for taking me out on Easter. It will be good to take a break and relax in good company.

Have a Great Day!

Lunch was great. One of the gals gave me a necklace and bracelet that she found when they were out thrifting. The bracelet is an adorable charm bracelet with three charms that read: Dream, Believe, and Achieve. The necklace matches. I think I needed to read that today. :)

I realized that I have not updated my latest jewelry pics, so here we go...

(https://i.imgur.com/JPGRlhT.jpeg)
This stone is called Miriam Stone. Some call it Sanskrit Jasper, Arabic Jasper, or Calligraphy Stone. Legend says that there are ancient prophesies written on these stones. The fact is that it is not a jasper, it is a fossil! Millions of years ago there was a swamp near the Himalaya region in India. What you are seeing are fossilized roots and shells that were stuck in the swamp mud. The stone was almost cube-shaped, so I cut it in two and made two pieces from the same stone.

(https://i.imgur.com/DCDWUDk.jpeg)

(https://i.imgur.com/gwMInrE.jpeg)
This is a piece of Teepee Agate that I found in Teepee Canyon. The canyon is west of Jewel Cave which is an awesome place (Google it). Teepee Canyon and Hell Canyon are well-known for producing beautiful red, orange, and yellow agates and jaspers. This piece broke off of a larger stone during the tumbling/polishing process. It ended up shaped like a shark tooth. It was a challenge trying to figure out how to wire-wrap it.

(https://i.imgur.com/ycSS8cb.jpeg)
This is a piece of clear quartz crystal that I found out at the Fairburn Agate Beds while hunting for the elusive Fairburn Agate. I often find clear quartz out there and some even look like ice cubes. This one was well-rounded and ended up almost like a crystal ball.

(https://i.imgur.com/FXAnyjb.jpeg)
This Tiger Eye is one of my favorites. The stone came in a sample bag with one of my new rock tumblers. I used the gold-colored wire to accent the gold color of the gemstone.

(https://i.imgur.com/RD3Vmqg.jpeg)
This is the darkest colored Amethyst I have ever seen except at the Geology Museum. I wanted to keep the wire wrap simple to keep the stone as the focal point. I'd like to find a few more of these. (Few = multiples of 100).  ;D

EDIT: The whole photo album is here.  https://imgur.com/a/rX0k4Ho

Whoa! Those are so, so, sooooooooooooo beautiful. Thanks for sharing, LoriDee.

Absolutely Gorgeous Work Sister!!! 💕💕🤗💕💕💕

Hi Lori and Ashley

Ashley said;

Quote from: tgirlamg on April 13, 2024, 04:11:39 PMAbsolutely Gorgeous Work Sister!!!

Lori I agree with her, unquestionably, stunning work!

Love and Hugs to All
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@LoriDee
@tgirlamg

Very nice.

Pretty!

@LoriDee
WOW, that is a  60 degree(f)  difference.... This morning as I am getting ready to go to church...
....planning to dress warm!!!!  ....Cold this morning  21deg(f)    [-6 deg C]
Danielle

Quote from: LoriDee on April 13, 2024, 11:42:24 AMNo exciting news today. It will hit 80 degrees today. That's F, not C for you ladies across the pond.  ;D

I am struggling with dysphoria today. But I am having lunch with the girls to repay them for taking me out on Easter. It will be good to take a break and relax in good company.

Have a Great Day!

It was 22C yesterday, 12C tomorrow!!! Staying in-----

Very beautiful work Loridee. That Jewry is so pretty. NICE!
Hugs Gina 

I like some types of agates.

A busy morning today. I had to submit letters of income verification to the property management. My rent is based on income and there are tax credits and things that offset how much my rent is.

The certification came back approved so I had to go back to the Property Manager's office and sign a stack of forms. But my lease has been renewed for another year with no increase in rent. WIN!  :eusa_dance: <--- this is me doing my Happy Dance.  ;D

Good news, my rent support was doubled this year .

When rent goes up it is not always the result of the Landlord's greed....
...increases in property taxes, maintenance costs, changes in local regulations, and
price increases related to additional financial burdens on the Landlord are not
always in their control.

The financial uncertainty in the world today is causing much difficulty for
both Landlords and Renters..... and everyone else.

HUGS, Danielle

I got an update on my voice training today.

{Back Story} The VA Trans Care Coordinator submitted a request for the lessons. The request was approved and the Voice Coach at the Iowa City VA called and set up an appointment for my first visit. I was to go to my local VA Clinic and we would do a telemedicine appointment there.

About a week before my appointment, my Care Coordinator said my appointment had to be canceled due to "technical issues". She agreed to look into it and said if the issue could not be resolved, they would give me an iPad so I could do the lessons from home. Our VA Clinic here in Rapid City is brand new. Very modern looking with state-of-the-art technology. I assumed that some IT guy checked the router and ... no router. But such was not the case.

Two weeks went by and I asked my Care Coordinator if they had fixed the "technical issue" yet, and if it was going to take time (ordering parts or whatever), then they should set me up with the iPad and reschedule my appointment.

This morning the Care Coordinator told me that the reason they canceled the appointment was not due to telemedicine connection issues. The problem is that the VA in Rapid City does not have an "agreement" with Iowa City to provide care to me, since I am not a patient of Iowa City VA.  ???

The paperwork has been submitted so that the VA can share my records with the VA and I can be treated by the VA.

Meanwhile, they cannot seem to figure out who is entering someone else's information into my records. Apparently, it is acceptable to reference (in my records) someone who has a different name and a different Medicare account number. Apparently, it is acceptable to allow someone to change my Primary VA Healthcare Facility to places I have never been to. However, when it comes to in-house VA care, they will not allow the VA to access my VA records without an agreement between the VA and the VA.  ???

Fortunately, I have been in contact with our Privacy Officer whose job it is to ensure that medical data is kept confidential. He is quite concerned that I have someone else's data in my records and this is under investigation. I have since had my files marked as "Private" which does nothing to prevent information flowing one way or the other. It causes a log to be created that can trace any information changes so I can find out who requested it.

So other than that, my day is going great.  ;D

My typical laundry schedule:

Wash Machine: 40 minutes
Dryer:  50 minutes

Folding and putting away:  3 - 5 business days.

That's why we have chairs in our bedroom.  ;D

Better than a floordrobe, 50 min wash and dry setting is my normal and then hang it on the drying rack in my bedroom for a few days. Sometimes it just gets folded and goes on the chest of drawers.

I liked it when records were kept in a file drawer in the Dr. office.  Not as convenient but much more secure.  I'll take the more secure option any time. 

I hope they get the situation straightened out.

Good luck on the voice lessons. Navigating any government agency is the worst. My insurance would pay but my copay was $800 for the evaluation then $75 per lesson. If I did it out of pocket it was only $65 for the evaluation and $65 per lesson. Obviously I choose to go out of pocket.

Hi Everyone

Arriving in Sydney 35 years ago and within 3 months I was living and working as a female.  I had no makeup or voice lessons.  I taught myself and of course there was no YouTube then to learn from.  In addition I dressed appropriately for my age, work and the social occasion.

The only information that I had at the time was a book on plaits and a book on makeup (I'm not sure on this book).  If I do have that book it is still within my collection of books.  I will soon be unpacking my books and when I come across those books I will list those books that helped me no end.  In addition I will add a photo of each one.

Why after all that time, would I still have those books?  Simple, I love books.

I keep my privacy private, in other words I do not tell any government department about my 'medical condition' and that includes 'doctors' or any organization as well, except for the few doctors that I have revealed my condition to recently, I emphasize that is not to be recorded in their computer systems.  This ensures I have no hassles whatsoever.

Take care and have a wonderful weekend that is coming your way

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

I can put "tons of books" on my electronic tablet yet its weight remains constant.

Absolutely amazing.

Hehehe I am a silly woman at times.

Today is a rock tumbler clean-out day. Last night I washed out the barrels and put the rocks back in and ran them overnight with just water and borax. That cleans off the grit so it doesn't transfer to the next stage. Those that are in the final polishing stage get cleaned up so they are nice and shiny.

On Tuesday, my friend and I will be at an Arts & Crafts event here in the apartment complex. I'll have a chance to sell some of my jewelry and polished stones. I'm not looking to make much money from it but a few sales will offset the cost of materials so I can make more. Pics to follow later.

LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
I am always amazed at the final result of the rock polishing procedures....
...what starts out as something that may have been tossed away becomes a beautiful piece,
and then adding your embellishments makes a desired item suitable for sale or for your
own enjoyment!!!!   Keep posting your photos as you feel comfortable sharing.

HUGS, Danielle

Quote from: LoriDee on April 20, 2024, 10:15:17 AMToday is a rock tumbler clean-out day. Last night I washed out the barrels and put the rocks back in and ran them overnight with just water and borax. That cleans off the grit so it doesn't transfer to the next stage. Those that are in the final polishing stage get cleaned up so they are nice and shiny.

On Tuesday, my friend and I will be at an Arts & Crafts event here in the apartment complex. I'll have a chance to sell some of my jewelry and polished stones. I'm not looking to make much money from it but a few sales will offset the cost of materials so I can make more. Pics to follow later.

One of the reasons I like Bubblegum Agates is they are ugly on the outside, like a piece of chewed bubblegum. But sometimes, after being tumbled a bit, they have colors and banding and patterns that you wouldn't expect. The way I see it, it is a treasure left for me to find. And after millions of years, I am the only human to ever see it.

Another crazy busy morning. Since I have renewed the lease on my apartment I needed to have an annual inspection. The manager said it would only take ten minutes. She checked everything and 30 minutes later I signed the inspection form.

I am on the Resident Council here, which is just a go-between for residents and management to air concerns, and talk about planned events, new policies, etc. We have a meeting this evening.

We have our first Arts & Crafts event tomorrow, so I am busy getting rocks and jewelry together for that. At least I won't be bored!

You rock Lori!

Chrissy

I went to our Resident Council meeting last night and, the meeting is next Monday. Tonight was Walking Tacos Night. But I had already eaten before the meeting.

Today's Arts & Crafts Event has been postponed until next month. Only three residents signed up for it and it was not going to be the type of event I thought it was. My wife (now ex-) and I sold jewelry and scented candles at all kinds of craft shows, fundraisers, and state and county fairs. What they wanted to do here was more of a Local Artists Showcase where we just put some things on display for other residents to enjoy. Um, no. So the event is postponed and will be an Arts & Crafts Show and we will invite artists who may be local but not necessarily residents of our community. We will see how it goes.

I added a few more jewelry pieces to my photo album.
Rough Stones to Jewelry by Lori Dee (https://imgur.com/a/rX0k4Ho)

The sun is shining, my best friend / fellow rockhound / mining buddy is with me, and I have a full tank of gas, so we drove out to check on the creek. The water level is a little bit high but doable. The water is still running fast though, and still not even 40 degrees. Brrr.

But look at that sky!
(https://i.imgur.com/AbUcTqv.jpeg)

We are still lacking the Spring green, and my Bestie thinks we will skip Spring and just go straight to HOT. We decided to drive back up into the Hills further where I spent last Summer when I was homeless camping for six weeks.

This is Boulder Hill. I wonder how it got that name?
The reason it is shaped like that is because it is an extinct volcano.
(https://i.imgur.com/lhAAXnd.jpeg)
When lava cools quickly, it forms glassy rocks like obsidian. When it cools very slowly, the rock becomes very hard and dense like granite. What you see sticking out at the top was the lava that cooled slowly and formed these boulders. They don't erode away as quickly as the surrounding mountainside that was largely soil and ash. Now you understand why Devil's Tower looks like it does. It was once a huge volcano and everything eroded away but the center.

Behind one of my campsites was this cool sunbathing rock... or mountain lion perch. It depends on who gets there first. Mountain lions are skittish around people unless they are really hungry. I don't eat mountain lion so our arrangement worked out well.
(https://i.imgur.com/l8B0923.jpeg)

Here kitty kitty. psp psp psp
I wish photos could capture the smell of these pine trees. I love that smell.
(https://i.imgur.com/3rp8N4X.jpeg)

Now I'm home and ready for a nap.  ;D

I find it interesting that although quartz is a mineral, quartz countertops are man made.  Quartzite, a rock, is not man made.  Quartzite countertops are made from rock, as are granite ones.

Quartzite sounds fake (man made) and quartz sounds natural.  But it is the other way around for countertop material.

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
Thank you for posting the pictures of your trip out to check on the creek
with your rock-hound buddy.

The pictures that you shared and your commentary was nice for me to see and to read....
... and I am very much enjoying your Rough Stones to Jewelry photo album with
beautiful photos of the beautiful work that you do making rocks into very pretty jewelry..

HUGS, Danielle

Well, the hike in the forest took an unexpected toll on my knees. The next day I was in a lot of pain. I have a torn meniscus in my left knee and was treated with a cortisone injection. Everything was just fine. Until I started climbing around on rocks like some young 65-year-old.

Now I am in "rest and relax" mode. One of my appointments yesterday at the VA was to get my 3-month injection of Eligard. I was wearing a knee brace and she kept checking the medication order thinking I was getting cortisone. We got it straightened out. I told her I planned to get some Epsom salts and soak in the bath. She recommended just using bags of frozen peas. The cold will reduce the swelling and they are reusable and cheap.

My next appointment was with my Psychologist. She has been teaching me how to pace my breathing (for stress management) using a biofeedback machine. We had some girl-talk time and then set up the machine. My goal is to be able to do 6 breaths per minute in a steady repeatable cycle. I clocked in at 6.1 breaths per minute and told her I beat that video game. Then we got into more serious stuff.

I don't mind sharing it here because everyone here has had, or may have a similar experience. When I began transitioning, I searched several online sources (including Susan's) for some type of checklist to help me understand what I want/need to get done. To this day, I am still following that checklist.

The "problem" arises, (the source of my anxiety, stress, depression, and frustration), is that I get stuck at one point and feel as though I can't move forward. Paced breathing calms me while doing it, but then reality sets in and I am still stuck. For example:

My list

Social transitioning:

• Coming out to friends and family as transgender - YES
• Asking people to use preferred pronouns - YES
• Going by a different name - YES
• Dressing/grooming in ways that match gender identity - YES
• Cosmetic prostheses (wigs, breast forms, etc.) - YES  {VA Provided}
• Changing all legal documents - YES

Medical transition:

• Mental Health evaluation - YES  {VA Provided}
• Hormone therapy - YES  {VA Provided}
• Hair removal (face, body, genital hair if preparing for surgery) - VA says Service Not Available
• Voice training - VA said Service Not Available - New VA Program is available now
• Breast augmentation (implants)? - Service Not Available (Cosmetic Surgery not allowed)
• Orchiectomy - Service Not Available (Not Medically Necessary)
• Tracheal shave - Service Not Available (Cosmetic Surgery not allowed)
• Facial feminization surgery - Service Not Available (Cosmetic Surgery not allowed)
• Vaginoplasty - Service Not Available (also due to VA Regulations)

Not everyone will follow this list. Not everyone, including me, will want everything on this list. It is just a generic list for MtF transition.

What happened was that I got stuck at Facial Hair Removal (Electrolysis) and felt like I couldn't move forward. I wanted the opportunity to get to know the electrologist and see their office (is it clean?). Not all electrologists will do pre-op genital clearing, so is this a person I want working down there?

My Psychologist is awesome. She did a "deep dive" into my medical records and documented each and every time some provider mentioned that electrolysis was medically necessary. No less than three times each year since 2019 my Primary Physician, Endocrinologist, Psychologist, Gynecologist, or the Medical Chief of Staff here, stated it was medically necessary and would be covered by the VA. It still has not happened, but the documentation is there and the push is on.

What I explained to my Psychologist is that all of this is wonderful except that we are so focused on getting this one step done, we have lost track of the end goal. I need documentation that Gender Affirming Surgery is medically necessary. The reason it has not been documented as thoroughly as anything else is because VA Regulations do not allow "Genital Altering" surgeries.

If I was on active duty in the military, bottom surgery would be provided at no cost to me. If I was a convicted felon in prison, bottom surgery would be provided at no cost to me. However, the Department of Veterans Affairs continues to discriminate against us based on sex, which is a violation of federal law. Medicare will cover the surgery, but I need this well-documented in my medical records that surgery is necessary (because hormone therapy alone has been unsuccessful in "curing" my dysphoria). I will also need letters of medical necessity from each of my doctors. (I don't need that many, but more is better and I want every medical specialty in agreement that it is necessary and in my records). And with our current political climate, I can't wait around to get this documented. I need it now.

My Psychologist agreed and has begun working on getting all of this down in my medical records. That will set the precedent, so when I see my Gynecologist in June I can ask the same from her. Then when I see my Primary in August I can ask the same from her. Either the VA changes its policy and I will be a candidate for surgery, or it will not but I will have enough documentation to apply for grants or other financial assistance. Hopefully, I can avoid becoming a convicted felon to get the surgery.  ;D

When I got home from my appointments, there was a package in front of my door. I hadn't ordered anything. I opened it up and it is a new iPad from VA TeleHealth Service to use for my Voice Training! I contacted the Voice Training Program Coordinator to tell him I had received it and he is notifying the Iowa City VA that we can proceed with scheduling appointments. We are still waiting for the agreement to allow Iowa City access to my records in South Dakota. (It's a HIPAA thing). Once that paperwork gets processed I can get started and check another item off my list.  :icon_joy:

If the speed of light is the fastest speed there is, then the speed of government is the slowest. Everything in the Universe is in motion. You are not stuck, just not moving in the preferred direction. Every step forward is a movement forward and counts as a win. Keep moving forward at any pace.

Hi Lori,

That is great news about the iPad and voice training!
It takes a lot of of work to ingrain new muscle patterns so you can do it subconsciously.
Tons of short frequent practice sessions will help.

Good golfers will endure what it takes to get a better golf swing.  Often to improve consistent ball striking.
Takes months for the small changes to become ingrained so it can be done without thinking.

Marion

Lori,

Practice. Investigate.  Follow-up.   Relax. 

Good things often come in time.  May not be to your exact timetable though.

Cheers,

Chrissy

Congrats on the Ipad and voice training. My voice coach recommended a breathing exercise to relax before lessons. Breath in from the belly for 4 count, hold for 8 count, and exhale through pursed lips slowly for 12 count. Do this for 3 minutes for heart rate to slow.
So sorry you have so much trouble with the VA. The Vets have always gotten the short end of the stick.
Hugs Gina

Hope you enjoy the voice training! I did some very early on and I haven't gone back to it but I found the whole process really enjoyable and affirming!

What's funny is that my coach and I agreed that when I get closer to full time maybe we'd restart for a few weeks to try to match voice to appearance. But leading up to this I've been feeling guilty that maybe my training was wasted.

Then I called Sara about something last week and she said "hey your voice sounds really great" and I didn't think I was doing anything. 😀

Now she's met me in person and heard the same voice, so mostly I think this just means my voice is way ahead of my look - but I'll take it!

And with your look already so great Lori - if you tweak your voice to where you're happy with it? You'll be an unstoppable monster - but, you know, the good kind. 😘

Good luck with your voice training.

Chrissy

It was great hearing that the VA is finally going to come through with some voice training. You may want to consider an app or two which can help you monitor progress. The 'Voice Pitch Analyzer' is free, and there is another similar tool with more features which is about $15. Something else you must remember to reduce frustration -- the voice you hear isn't the same as the voice other's hear. Make a recording of something like 'the rainbow passage' before you start, and make another recording after a few sessions. Progress is often slow, but the recordings will be markers you can use to gauge improvement. Comparing where you are to where you were will help you hear the changes. Don't get discouraged. Many people go weeks without hearing any difference, then one day everything suddenly 'clicks' and you hear a voice you never thought possible. Keep tissues handy. Ocular leakage will occur.  You can do this.

Love always -- Jess

Thanks, Jessica.

I have the Voice Pitch Analyzer on my phone. It has you read a passage and record the results. I think that is what the VA Clinician will want me to use too. They mentioned using an app, but they didn't say which one. Knowing the VA they might have their own. I will know more when we have the first appointment. I expect progress to be slow because I have no voice training experience... except in the Army calling cadence while marching and yelling at Privates to stop being stupid.  ;D

I have been an instructor, in the Army and elsewhere, so public speaking is not an issue. But no experience controlling my voice, like singing or doing imitations. It will be a fun adventure and I am looking forward to it. It will be nice to talk to a stranger on the phone and get "ma'am" instead of "sir".

Lori,

I have used Christilla's Voice Up with in app purchases.
Although in the feminine range consistently, there is much more than pitch to work out, for sure.

I found this app when borrowing a friend's iPad for an extended time.  Eventually I got my own iPad, but it took maybe two years!  He is the type that upgraded a lot so he let me use his that was sort of "left behind" or orphaned as he used the newest stuff.

But he did not have this app, and I did not buy the add ons until I had my own tablet and account.  I do not remember what the add ons cost.

I think it was worth it.  I still refer to it for practice.

Thanks, Chrissy!

At our Trans Support Group meeting, I was speaking with one of the gals who went through the VA program. She has a very nice voice but she is still self-conscious of it. Like you said, it is way more than just pitch. I had been watching Trans Voice Lessons on YouTube and they are a great help, but as this gal pointed out, the one-on-one training allows someone (not a machine) to listen to you speak and help you correct what you are doing wrong... well, not wrong, but how to do it better. Most apps cannot teach you how to train things like your sub-laryngeal folds. I just learned that term and I finally got to use it!  ;D

One of the reviewers on Christella's said they really liked the lessons but hoped they didn't acquire her accent. Then I saw that Chistella is in the UK.  :laugh:

I wish I had a sweet sounding, all female voice, all the time.

Chrissy

The few lessons I got from the GIC via Teams were good, she said I had (just) the right pitch. Trouble is I need to practice a bit more, when you talk to someone you have known for ages I find I tend to slip.

My first voice coach it was all about pitch. There is so much more to the female voice than pitch. My new coach started with pitch and we have moved on to less breathiness, softer, and more emphasis on each word spoken more clearly.(Males then to be lazy and run thier words together.) Projecting the sound out from being in my chest or throat to a more forward sound. Also adding more loudness without loosing the rest of it. My wife is of little help she says it sounds phony. I have reverted to not practicing in the same room whenever possible.

I just got the call this morning. My lessons start on Friday (3rd) first thing in the morning!
I am stoked.

@Gina P

I was watching Trans Voice Lessons on YouTube and she said that many coaches start with that. She has found that some do better with learning to control resonance. She gave some exercises to work on breathiness, pitch, weight, etc. I am curious about what the VA coach will do, but at least I have an idea about the kinds of things we will be talking about.

I am a total newb at doing anything like this, but I love learning new things. Who knows, maybe I'll take up singing. When the neighbors get noisy I can fight back.  ;D

Quote from: Gina P on April 29, 2024, 05:47:23 AMMy first voice coach it was all about pitch. There is so much more to the female voice than pitch. My new coach started with pitch and we have moved on to less breathiness, softer, and more emphasis on each word spoken more clearly.(Males then to be lazy and run thier words together.) Projecting the sound out from being in my chest or throat to a more forward sound. Also adding more loudness without loosing the rest of it. My wife is of little help she says it sounds phony. I have reverted to not practicing in the same room whenever possible.

What your wife says matters less than what strangers think. For example, are you identified as female on the phone when talking with strangers?

The Internet was newborn when I transitioned. There were no YouTube videos for coaching and I sought no coaching. I did it by fumbling trial and error.

Quote from: LoriDee on April 29, 2024, 09:38:42 AMI just got the call this morning. My lessons start on Friday (3rd) first thing in the morning!
I am stoked.

@Gina P

I was watching Trans Voice Lessons on YouTube and she said that many coaches start with that. She has found that some do better with learning to control resonance. She gave some exercises to work on breathiness, pitch, weight, etc. I am curious about what the VA coach will do, but at least I have an idea about the kinds of things we will be talking about.

I am a total newb at doing anything like this, but I love learning new things. Who knows, maybe I'll take up singing. When the neighbors get noisy I can fight back.  ;D

I believe I have my gesticulation down pat, it has become second nature.  The voice has far more practice needed.  It is hard work, some days I just wonder why I am working so hard at this.  Maybe it is not to be.  Then I think I must keep on trying, I must keep on practicing, and perhaps the male voice will become the voice hard to do.

Chrissy

Another day of cleaning out the rock tumblers.

Previously, I had mentioned that I like the Bubblegum Agates because they can be full of surprises. Here is an example:

When I find it on the ground and wash it off it looks sort of like this.
(https://i.imgur.com/Df14h4b.jpeg)

Then after rolling around in the tumblers, the abrasive grit wears away the "husk" and we get a glimpse of what's inside. This is how this one turned out.
(https://i.imgur.com/KyanRkh.jpeg)

and the other side.
(https://i.imgur.com/OyCQ94U.jpeg)

Here are a few others that turned out nice.

This one came from Teepee Canyon. I'll be going back to get more soon.
(https://i.imgur.com/TC4C1hh.jpeg)

(https://i.imgur.com/b3jo2Lh.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/TKWprvC.jpeg)

My expertise in jewelry making is improving.
Check out this engagement ring. Now that is a rock any woman would love to receive.

(https://i.imgur.com/9zE2yvE.jpeg)

Or not.  ;D

Love them! As a child, polished stones enchanted me. Heck, they still do.

Quote from: LoriDee on April 29, 2024, 02:33:09 PMAnother day of cleaning out the rock tumblers.

Previously, I had mentioned that I like the Bubblegum Agates because they can be full of surprises. Here is an example:

When I find it on the ground and wash it off it looks sort of like this.
(https://i.imgur.com/Df14h4b.jpeg)

Then after rolling around in the tumblers, the abrasive grit wears away the "husk" and we get a glimpse of what's inside. This is how this one turned out.
(https://i.imgur.com/KyanRkh.jpeg)

and the other side.
(https://i.imgur.com/OyCQ94U.jpeg)

Here are a few others that turned out nice.

This one came from Teepee Canyon. I'll be going back to get more soon.
(https://i.imgur.com/TC4C1hh.jpeg)

(https://i.imgur.com/b3jo2Lh.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/TKWprvC.jpeg)

My expertise in jewelry making is improving.
Check out this engagement ring. Now that is a rock any woman would love to receive.

(https://i.imgur.com/9zE2yvE.jpeg)

Or not.  ;D

I like all of them, except the one with the rock inside prongs.  I guess some people might like that one too but it is not one that I would wear.

Lori,

Do the finishes called polished, matte, and leather apply to the rock work you do?


Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 29, 2024, 04:22:09 PMDo the finishes called polished, matte, and leather apply to the rock work you do?

Chrissy,

Not exactly. The harder rocks like agates and jaspers will get nice and shiny. The softer ones like Fuchsite are too porous so they get smooth but not really shiny. The problem is that softer rocks have to be tumbled with care because they get worn down pretty quickly and can break apart. So they don't get as long of a cycle in the tumbler.

I have some "exotics" that I will be tumbling soon. Amethyst is a hard stone, but like quartz, it can fracture and bruise easily. So they need special care too. I have some jade, amethyst, tiger eye, amazonite, and quartz ready to start next week. I have to add "padding" in the form of small stones so they don't crash into each other as they tumble. I am anxious to see how they come out.

Quote from: LoriDee on April 29, 2024, 04:34:19 PMChrissy,

Not exactly. The harder rocks like agates and jaspers will get nice and shiny. The softer ones like Fuchsite are too porous so they get smooth but not really shiny. The problem is that softer rocks have to be tumbled with care because they get worn down pretty quickly and can break apart. So they don't get as long of a cycle in the tumbler.

I have some "exotics" that I will be tumbling soon. Amethyst is a hard stone, but like quartz, it can fracture and bruise easily. So they need special care too. I have some jade, amethyst, tiger eye, amazonite, and quartz ready to start next week. I have to add "padding" in the form of small stones so they don't crash into each other as they tumble. I am anxious to see how they come out.

Lori,

That is interesting.

Chrissy

Affirmations. Sometimes the simplest thing can make my day.

I remember when I was just beginning to develop, the first time I felt a jiggle when I walked. Or the touch of my breast on the inside of my arm while washing dishes. Little things that made me smile.

Now it is four years later and my dysphoria still kicks in whenever I need to leave my apartment. Today was no different. I needed to run to Wally World to do some grocery shopping. I hate that place so I want to get in and out as quickly as possible.

I am expecting a package to arrive containing new mascara and eyeliner that I want to try. I didn't want to put on makeup to go to Walmart and then need to wash it all off when I got home to try the new stuff. I just put on a very light touch of lipstick and skipped everything else.

Over the past month, I have lost ten pounds thanks to eating better and going for short walks several times a day. The best part is they didn't come from my top (as usual) but from my belly. Yesterday, on one of my walks I felt my breasts bouncing. (Definitely some development happening now with the new patches.) I always weigh and measure myself on the first of each month and I was happy to see these results. That means I could wear a tighter-fitting T-shirt with my jeans and worry less about it showing my belly fat. I threw on my pink stocking cap and off I went.

Dysphoria: "Are you sure about that?"

Me: "It's only Walmart. No one is going to look at me. They are too busy blocking the aisles and chatting with their neighbor."

Dysphoria: "Are you sure about that? Really, really sure about that?"

In Walmart, the men were very polite getting out of my way and saying, "Excuse me, Miss." And the women were more friendly, even saying "hello" which seldom happens.

So what is different today from any other day? I wasn't all dolled up, wearing the same clothes and carrying the same purse I always do. Boobs visible and a touch of lipstick were all it takes to pass?

I'll take it as a win! Told my dysphoria to take a day off. I'm enjoying this.  :)

Hi LoriDee,

I also went to Walmart today, as well as two grocery stores.
Yes, people are very nice.
I wore a pink jacket and my new flannel lined jeans, as it can be really cold inside the grocery stores.
Wore my 2 inch heel booties and carried my phone in a tiny black bag.
Forgot to put on lipstick but got everything I wanted to buy!

Marion

  @LoriDee     
Dear LoriDee:
Your summary of your "Affirmations" posting was right on.

Usually it is easier to pass if one is wearing casual clothing,
wearing a minimal amount of  makeup and nail polish...
appropriate shoes (even sneakers with pink highlights) and accessories,
purse ... and wearing curve hugging jeans and a fitted top,
and obvious, "boobage" showing (but not over-the-top)
          AND, very importantly
having the self-confidence and self-acceptance to be seen.

Thank you LoriDee for posting and sharing.

HUGS, Danielle

Hi Lori

It's so good to hear that your trip to Walmart was an enjoyable one.  I agree with what Danielle said 110% and that was:

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on May 01, 2024, 02:20:11 PMUsually it is easier to pass if one is wearing casual clothing,
wearing a minimal amount of  makeup and nail polish...
appropriate shoes (even sneakers with pink highlights) and accessories,
purse ... and wearing curve hugging jeans and a fitted top,
and obvious, "boobage" showing (but not over-the-top)
          AND, very importantly
having the self-confidence and self-acceptance to be seen.

In addition just be yourself.  Your trip to Walmart is just one of many more to come the epitome of living the life that was denied you for all those years.

Take care and I know you will have many more wonderful days like this.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

I think it is best to attempt to fit in with how other women
appear in whatever setting you find yourself in and NOT standing out
with skin bearing flashy clothing and overdone makeup and appearance.

Danielle

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on May 01, 2024, 03:49:28 PMI think it is best to attempt to fit in with how other women
appear in whatever setting you find yourself in and NOT standing out
with skin-bearing flashy clothing and overdone makeup and appearance.

Danielle

Exactly this.

I see so many of us with dresses and makeup way over the top. Formal gowns are for formal events, not business meetings or reading stories to kids at the library. If you want to be accepted as a woman then look and act like a woman. Even cis-gendered women don't approve of what you are describing. In my day, they would call them floozies and look down their noses at them.

You can't be a target if you can blend in undetected, what we call "passing".

Having lived for nearly 40 years as a woman, I only apply a touch of eyeliner when dining somewhere fancy or attending a party. And I brush my hair too for special events.

"You look so nice," people will say because when you're so rough and ready like me, the slightest improvement impresses.

Danielle, you offer great advice.

Of food shop this morning, it will be jeans, trainers and a "top" . Not sure what jacket to wear yet as rain about but not cold, might be a fleece.

Dress modestly and appropriately.  Just fit in.

I had my first appointment with my new Voice Coach. I am in Rapid City, SD and she is in Iowa City, IA so the appointment was done through a telemedicine video link. It was mostly giving her background information on prior training, and medical stuff like injuries or trauma to the neck or head. I do have a cervical fusion of neck vertebrae but I doubt that affects my voice. She wasn't concerned. We had a great time chatting and both of us griping about the impossibly slow pace of government.

We set up the next two appointments. We will meet each week. My "homework" is to download an app. Done. Our next question will be filling out a bunch of questionnaires. She says it is boring, but the government loves its paperwork, and we must get through it.

After the appointment, my Bestie called and asked if I could take her shopping. She had some great news she wanted to share. Her son has moved back here from Sioux Falls and I haven't seen him in a couple of years. He would be coming along. No problem.

I picked them up and the son said he finally won his disability claim from Social Security, AND he received all of his back pay. Over $70,000. Wowza. He bought a car and needed a ride to the bank to get cash and then to the car dealer to finalize the purchase. He got a good deal on a 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee. It's in great shape.

I was kidding with him and said, "So what is the great news you wanted to share?"

He handed me $20 and said, "You don't need to drive us to Walmart!"

They went shopping and I went home. I'm a little richer and they now have the freedom to go places without relying on me or her sister. Win-Win.

Quote from: LoriDee on May 03, 2024, 12:41:59 PMI had my first appointment with my new Voice Coach. I am in Rapid City, SD and she is in Iowa City, IA so the appointment was done through a telemedicine video link. It was mostly giving her background information on prior training, and medical stuff like injuries or trauma to the neck or head. I do have a cervical fusion of neck vertebrae but I doubt that affects my voice. She wasn't concerned. We had a great time chatting and both of us griping about the impossibly slow pace of government.

We set up the next two appointments. We will meet each week. My "homework" is to download an app. Done. Our next question will be filling out a bunch of questionnaires. She says it is boring, but the government loves its paperwork, and we must get through it.

After the appointment, my Bestie called and asked if I could take her shopping. She had some great news she wanted to share. Her son has moved back here from Sioux Falls and I haven't seen him in a couple of years. He would be coming along. No problem.

I picked them up and the son said he finally won his disability claim from Social Security, AND he received all of his back pay. Over $70,000. Wowza. He bought a car and needed a ride to the bank to get cash and then to the car dealer to finalize the purchase. He got a good deal on a 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee. It's in great shape.

I was kidding with him and said, "So what is the great news you wanted to share?"

He handed me $20 and said, "You don't need to drive us to Walmart!"

They went shopping and I went home. I'm a little richer and they now have the freedom to go places without relying on me or her sister. Win-Win.

It all sounds good.  Except that her son is disabled, that is a bummer. 

Chrissy

Wow Lori! I just spent an hour reading as much as could of your journey. Even though our life paths were quite a bit different, we still have a lot in common. I actually learned some new things about myself by reading your story. Thank you for posting this and I will be watching for updates.

  @LoriDee 
Dear LoriDee:
Along with your other readers and avid followers,  I am eagerly
awaiting for your next installment of "The Story of Lori"

Many HUGS,  Danielle

Lori,

I wish you really good results with all of your upcoming voice lessons and practice.

Chrissy

You could try "Voice tools" a free app that I use and like. Helps with pitch and offers playback so you can hear what you sound like. Good luck with the lessons. Nothing like having a professional help guide you.

Thanks, Gina

That is the one the Clinician had me download. I was using Voice Pitch Analyzer, but she said different apps use different ranges for each gender and Voice Tools is what she uses herself. She said her voice is consistent at 187Hz. Then one day she was at 200 for some unknown reason. She told her co-workers that she finally found her "girl voice". (She is cis).  ;D

A professional's advice is good on what sounds natural. 
It seems common for people to have excessively high expectations.

I had an interesting development during voice training, my voice coach told me, after I laughed, that we had to work on my laugh. Seams I laugh in a deep temblor like a man. Who knew. I had never thought about this.

My coach's initial assessment is my voice is in the mid to high male range. My laugh is similar, but my cough is awful. I gotta work on that too.  ;D

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
There are so many things that we utilize our voice for.... talking, laughing, and... in my own experience since I like to sing I found it easier and more natural for me to sing in a proper female range, mainly because when singing I am focusing on being on the correct note, but in causal conversation there is very little focus about that so one has to practice enough for it to become a natural expression.

Thank you for sharing and posting... very interesting indeed.
HUGS, Danielle

Quote from: LoriDee on May 07, 2024, 07:38:37 AMMy coach's initial assessment is my voice is in the mid to high male range. My laugh is similar, but my cough is awful. I gotta work on that too.  ;D

I have no talent for singing, but I was told something similar, that singing allows you to raise your pitch effectively. I hope that as I get better at voice control I might be able to do some singing to broaden my effective range. I have always been a fan of Terri Nunn, the lead singer of Berlin. Her pitch is similar to mine, but wowza can that girl sing!


Song Now It's My Turn by Berlin
From the album Love Life
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgaFNC_I_ZkmpklGPTS241unTYKHCTa4K

The female voice can be so soothing.

Quote from: LoriDee on May 07, 2024, 07:38:37 AMMy coach's initial assessment is my voice is in the mid to high male range. My laugh is similar, but my cough is awful. I gotta work on that too.  ;D

That's a pretty good starting point, Lori!

Because the female voice isn't all about pitch... there are LOTS of women whose natural voice is right in that range you are in... but it's then a lot about the shape of your voice, meaning... pitch variability -- male voices tend to be more monotone, while female voices tend to move up and down the vocal range.

And you'll work on resonance... trying to feel your voice coming from your throat and not your chest... "raising up" your voice, and "opening up" your voice, so to speak... which adds more air to the way you speak.

I really enjoyed voice training and it just takes a few weeks for things to kind of click in place... and then it takes a lot longer to really perfect it, I'm sure. I know that once I'm presenting in public I am certain I will need to go back to my coach for a refresher to make sure I'm on the right path.

Good luck and so glad you're having fun!!!!

Quote from: LoriDee on May 07, 2024, 07:38:37 AMMy coach's initial assessment is my voice is in the mid to high male range. My laugh is similar, but my cough is awful. I gotta work on that too.  ;D

So much to retrain. Yawns, laughs, burps, coughs. I wonder if I can ever fully do it. Golotoplasty seams like an easier option but even that doesn't work without training. I find I do well reading doing training but as soon as I have to think of what I'm going to say the brain reverts back to old voice. My coach says in time this won't happen but its very frustrating now.

I had a Dermatology appointment at the VA this morning. I had been seeing a non-VA dermatologist for several years. The VA decided I needed to be treated in-house, so this was my first visit with this one. She was awesome and we spent some time going over my medical history. I have had seven Basal Cell carcinomas removed over the years, so I have to get checked every six months.

She didn't see anything suspicious that might need a biopsy. So she just froze a few thousand pre-cancerous spots with liquid nitrogen. I have a large spot on my back that I thought was a mole. It is ugly and black and about 2 inches long by an inch wide. The issue is that it is right under my bra band, so it gets irritated. She said it was a "barnacle", benign and she could freeze it. It may fall off or we can just keep attacking it during each visit. I agreed.

So then I am driving home and it is really getting sore from being frozen, my bra sitting across it, and I am sitting trying to drive without leaning back in the seat. Wowza.

I enter my apartment building and my property manager sees my face (red blotches and blisters all over), and asks if I am okay. I asked her if the Violence Against Women Act applies if the culprit is your doctor. We laughed, but I can see a pain pill in my immediate future.

Good times.

Ouch!   

I hope the pain subsides for you.

Chrissy

Thanks, Chrissy.

The pain has subsided. I had to put Vaseline on my face and bandages on my arms to cover the blisters so I don't rub them against anything. It will be a couple of days then they dry up and start sloughing off. It's a necessary evil that I am willing to endure.

This winter, she will send me two topical creams that will be lots of fun. They work like a chemical peel and eat all the cancerous and pre-cancerous cells. They do it in the winter because your skin becomes super sensitive to sunlight. I can't even go near a window. So I suppose I will become a vampire for a week or so.

For now, I am focused on Voice Training and have my second appointment in the morning. Yay!

I would like to sing with a nice woman's voice.

Chrissy

I had my second voice appointment this morning. Filled out a bunch of questionnaires. Took the whole hour just doing those. The coach said next week we will start working on resonance. She feels that since my voice already has a warmer pitch, by working on raising my resonance, the pitch will follow and should drop me dangerously close to the pitch I am working towards. She asked me about about a voice model. I said Renee Zellweiger. She has such a soft, feminine voice that I love. Even if she screamed at you it would sound like a loud whisper. I want to hit that kind of softness.

The red blotches and blisters from yesterday's dermatology appointment have calmed down. No pain and the blisters on my face have receded into the blotches. The ones on my arms are still the size of quarters and I am not ready to try tearing off the bandages yet. I have to continue keeping everything slathered in Vaseline and stay out of the sun this weekend. So of course, the rain stopped and it is a warm sunny day.

Maybe next week we can get out and do some rock-hounding.

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
  SUNBLOCK, HATS, cover arms and neck with a light cotton shirt....
You can't stay out of the sun in the summer, especially when rock-hounding but
please do your best to take necessary protective steps.
        ```````````````````````````````
Several years ago I had a Basil Cell Carcinoma and had "Mohs" surgery remove a
continuously reoccurring spot above my eye.  Freezing it did not prevent it's return. 

If the Basil Cell Carcinoma keeps returning, like it did for me, you
perhaps should ask your dermatologist about "Mohs" Surgery. Mine never came
back years after the surgery but before that it always came back a month or
two later after freezing it.

Mine was done in the doctor's office sitting in a chair like a Dental office
visit, with local anesthetic only.

Most of those procedures leave very little scarring if any if they are caught
early...I don't have any visible and obvious scarring.... but obviously your
dermatologist is your best source of information as it applies to you.

      https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/mohs-surgery/about/pac-20385222

HUGS, Danielle

Thanks, Danielle,

I have had seven Basal Cells removed. Five via Mohs and two by ED&C. Hence the reason they have me come back for a recheck every six months. The stuff they are freezing is pre-cancerous. She said none of them looked suspicious enough for a biopsy.

I have to be careful while gold panning or sluicing. Any oil coming in contact with fine gold can make it float. It's the weirdest thing to see. Gold is 20 times heavier than water, but oil has just enough surface tension to make it float.

I do wear a wide-brim hat and long sleeves, (See pic), whether prospecting or just hiking. The nice thing about mining is if I get too hot, I just sit in the creek and wet my shirt.

Pic of me at Teepee Canyon (https://www.teepee-canyon-south.lori-dee.com/set/eb642f3c-7051-4b87-acf1-c8107703f00f?pgid=eb642f3c-7051-4b87-acf1-c8107703f00f_97ec7663-acc5-47f2-a1de-886aed0e2e3c)

I apply sunscreen to my face (because the sun reflects off of the water), then wash my hands before starting work. With rock hounding, I have more leeway. Same uniform, but I don't need to be as cautious about cleaning sunscreen off my hands.

That's a very youthful picture of you, Lori Dee! You look like late 20's or early 30's!

I also like all the details of the rocks you show, especially the crystals.

Hugs,

Heidemarie

Yes, Lori rocks!

Chrissy

@Iztaccihuatl
@ChrissyRyan

Thank you, ladies.

That is one of the few where the lighting was just right, the camera was not too close, and it worked its magic. So it is one I don't mind posting on my website.

My rock-hounding buddy and I are hoping to get back there again soon. Maybe this month. Other rock hounds have been posting pics of their finds out there and it makes me want to hurry up and get there. 

It is about an hour and a half drive from here. It isn't far in miles but the winding mountain roads are only 30 mph in places, like up around Mount Rushmore and going through the Jewel Cave National Monument. It is also almost 2,000 feet higher in elevation. An old survival trick I learned is that for every 1,000 feet increase in elevation the temperature drops about ten degrees. So on a warm 60-degree day here in the city, it is only about 40 degrees up there. Not bad, but we just got some heavy snow two days ago up in the Hills. Forest Service roads are poorly maintained and snow and ice are never cleared, so we wait.

The crystals I found are calcite. I love the peach tint. Crystals are a common find in that area and is how Jewel Cave got its name. Rockhounding in the park is not allowed, but just west of the Monument boundaries is Hell Canyon, and west of that is Teepee Canyon. Both are popular rock hunting grounds.

Jewel Cave fascinates me. It reminds me of Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth. A couple of gold miners discovered it around 1900. It is still not totally explored. Every year cavers map a few more miles, but it keeps going. At more than 200 miles in length, Jewel Cave is currently the fifth-longest cave in the world.

Jewel Cave Information (https://nps.gov//jeca/learn/historyculture/a-small-cave-no-more.htm)

Better bring plenty of bred crumbs next time you go into the cave. :) Sounds like a lot of fun, finding a rough stone and turning into a beautiful piece of jewelry. I have to agree, you really look like a young woman in those pics. Looking good Lori. 

Not only are you a pretty girl, but you're an outdoors girl, which is my favorite kind of girl!

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on May 11, 2024, 07:07:22 AMNot only are you a pretty girl, but you're an outdoors girl, which is my favorite kind of girl!

The best part is that she IS a girl!

I have always been the outdoor type. Growing up in the California desert, we had a ranch where we raised rabbits commercially. There were about seven ranches grouped together, so all of us kids hung out together. Rockhounding, hunting snakes, lizards, and jackrabbits, riding horses or motorcycles. As a family, we did a lot of hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting.

Of course, all that sun exposure is now why I have to see the dermatologist every six months. But given the chance to do it over, I doubt I would change anything.

Interesting anecdote about my dad:

He worked for NASA as an Electronics Engineer during the Apollo program. While he was working there, two historical events occurred that had never before occurred in the history of humankind. He worked out at the Mars Deep Space communications station.

Goldstone Tracking Station (https://www.nasa.gov/technology/nasas-deep-space-network-looks-to-the-future/)

In preparation for the Moon landing, NASA needed to know things like how far away is the Moon, how much fuel is needed, etc. To measure the distance between the Earth and the Moon, they would fire a laser at the surface and see how long it takes for the light to travel there and back. It was not a very good system because the light would scatter when it hit rocks or craters on the Moon's surface. But since no one had been there before, it was all they had.

One of the many tasks my dad did was to align the telescope. Our veterans and shooters will be familiar with boresighting. My dad had to look through a small telescope up on the dish and align the dish with a point on the Moon's surface. Then the operators would set the dish's settings accordingly and they could easily move the dish to those coordinates and it would be pointing at the Moon.

During Apollo 8 when astronaut Lovell and crew were going to orbit the moon for the first time, as they traveled around the back side of the moon there was no line-of-sight and thus no communications with the spacecraft. Using geometry and knowing the distance to the Moon and its diameter, they could calculate the circumference. Knowing how fast the craft was traveling they could calculate how long the craft would be out of communication with Mission Control. It turns out that their calculations were wrong.

But the first time the craft went behind the Moon and lost communications was the first time in human history that a human being could not see Earth. Think about that.

The second event was during Apollo 11 when Neil Armstrong was the first human to set foot on the Moon's surface. One of the greatest achievements in human history and my dad worked for NASA and helped with that mission. But at the moment when that happened, my dad was not at work. He was on a camping trip with me!

We went backpacking in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. We spent eight days hiking 53 miles of the John Muir Trail. One morning as we were having breakfast, one of the other members of our party was listening to a portable radio. He said, "Well, we have now walked on the Moon."

While the astronauts were there, one of their projects was to install large prisms to act as mirrors. Now when they fire lasers at the Moon's surface they get very accurate data and know exactly how far away it is. All the Conspiracy Theorists who say that the Moon Landing never happened can't explain how those mirrors got there. They can be seen from Earth, so we know they are there.

I watched this at school, they put the TV on in the hall for us all to see.

Quote from: LoriDee on May 11, 2024, 08:44:08 AMI have always been the outdoor type. Growing up in the California desert, we had a ranch where we raised rabbits commercially. There were about seven ranches grouped together, so all of us kids hung out together. Rockhounding, hunting snakes, lizards, and jackrabbits, riding horses or motorcycles. As a family, we did a lot of hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting.

Of course, all that sun exposure is now why I have to see the dermatologist every six months. But given the chance to do it over, I doubt I would change anything.

Interesting anecdote about my dad:

He worked for NASA as an Electronics Engineer during the Apollo program. While he was working there, two historical events occurred that had never before occurred in the history of humankind. He worked out at the Mars Deep Space communications station.

Goldstone Tracking Station (https://www.nasa.gov/technology/nasas-deep-space-network-looks-to-the-future/)

In preparation for the Moon landing, NASA needed to know things like how far away is the Moon, how much fuel is needed, etc. To measure the distance between the Earth and the Moon, they would fire a laser at the surface and see how long it takes for the light to travel there and back. It was not a very good system because the light would scatter when it hit rocks or craters on the Moon's surface. But since no one had been there before, it was all they had.

One of the many tasks my dad did was to align the telescope. Our veterans and shooters will be familiar with boresighting. My dad had to look through a small telescope up on the dish and align the dish with a point on the Moon's surface. Then the operators would set the dish's settings accordingly and they could easily move the dish to those coordinates and it would be pointing at the Moon.

During Apollo 8 when astronaut Lovell and crew were going to orbit the moon for the first time, as they traveled around the back side of the moon there was no line-of-sight and thus no communications with the spacecraft. Using geometry and knowing the distance to the Moon and its diameter, they could calculate the circumference. Knowing how fast the craft was traveling they could calculate how long the craft would be out of communication with Mission Control. It turns out that their calculations were wrong.

But the first time the craft went behind the Moon and lost communications was the first time in human history that a human being could not see Earth. Think about that.

The second event was during Apollo 11 when Neil Armstrong was the first human to set foot on the Moon's surface. One of the greatest achievements in human history and my dad worked for NASA and helped with that mission. But at the moment when that happened, my dad was not at work. He was on a camping trip with me!

We went backpacking in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. We spent eight days hiking 53 miles of the John Muir Trail. One morning as we were having breakfast, one of the other members of our party was listening to a portable radio. He said, "Well, we have now walked on the Moon."

While the astronauts were there, one of their projects was to install large prisms to act as mirrors. Now when they fire lasers at the Moon's surface they get very accurate data and know exactly how far away it is. All the Conspiracy Theorists who say that the Moon Landing never happened can't explain how those mirrors got there. They can be seen from Earth, so we know they are there.

Is this trail near or in the Muir Woods area?

Windy roads near there along the coast.

Going to go to a golf club in about an hour.  I never been there.  Girl lunch.

I prefer to snow ski than golf, and I am not much good at golfing.  Although jet skiing looks like fun.  Do have a good day!

Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on May 11, 2024, 11:22:11 AMIs this trail near or in the Muir Woods area?

I can barely remember what I had for breakfast yesterday and you want me to remember where I was in 1969? I was 12 years old!  ;D

I know the trail we hiked was from Rock Creek to North Lake on the John Muir Trail. I know we climbed Mount Whitney, San Gorgonio, and some other peaks along the way. Mono Pass and Bear Ridge were cliffs we had to ascend. The trail would switch back and forth, it was a long slow climb. So fun!

Muir Woods is around 15 minutes from the Golden Gate Bridge, down mount tam.

Jenn

We were much further south than that!

Thanks, Jenn. I had no idea where it was. I thought she meant a National Forest.

Maybe you can grow some veggies from seed to save on money?  Maybe use one of those indoor produce growing systems bought on sale?  Some places have community gardens too.

Buy the ugly looking produce to save money where it is available.  Just as fresh and nutritious, it is just not pretty.

Eat canned veggies when on sale or fresh produce in season?

I am on the Resident Council here in my apartment building. It is a resident liaison group that brings complaints and such to management and helps management keep residents informed of policies and upcoming events. At our last Council meeting, we discussed putting in a community garden.

There is one about a block away that repeatedly gets trashed by homeless people. They leave trash and destroy the plants. So we plan to fence off an area only available to residents, and they must contact a Council member to gain access. We have funding for $5,000 for the garden itself, but the fencing falls under a "build" category because we need a property line survey, fencing permits, etc. We have requested the funding for the fence build, but won't receive those funds until later.

I will be curious to see how many residents make use of it. From what I have witnessed, many want a hand-out, not a hand-up. Especially if they have to put in some work to get anything. It is so sad.

I went outside tonight to see if I could see the Northern Lights. We have a clear sky and I can see stars, but no lights. Kristi Noem probably banned them from appearing over South Dakota.

"We have Mount Rushmore. We don't need any fancy lights in the sky."

It could be all the city lights make it nearly impossible to see. I had a similar issue in 1986. I took my four-year-old daughter up on a mountain above the city, away from the lights, so we could photograph Halley's Comet as it went by. She had no clue what we were doing, but I wanted to try to show her. Because the next time the comet passes by Earth, she will be 80 years old. She will be one of the very few people who will have seen Halley's Comet twice in their lifetime.

I still have the pictures, but it is hard to see if you don't know what you are looking for. It just looks like any other star. But I took pictures from the same location a month later, and then comparing the two before and after pictures, you can see that the "star" has moved.

You inspired me to go out and look too.  No Northern Lights visible here too.  From the map I saw, we were on the fringe of the viewing area.  I think the city lights on the other side of the hill are just a little too bright.

Quote from: LoriDee on May 11, 2024, 11:09:43 PMI am on the Resident Council here in my apartment building. It is a resident liaison group that brings complaints and such to management and helps management keep residents informed of policies and upcoming events. At our last Council meeting, we discussed putting in a community garden.

There is one about a block away that repeatedly gets trashed by homeless people. They leave trash and destroy the plants. So we plan to fence off an area only available to residents, and they must contact a Council member to gain access. We have funding for $5,000 for the garden itself, but the fencing falls under a "build" category because we need a property line survey, fencing permits, etc. We have requested the funding for the fence build, but won't receive those funds until later.

I will be curious to see how many residents make use of it. From what I have witnessed, many want a hand-out, not a hand-up. Especially if they have to put in some work to get anything. It is so sad.

See:  https://americanliterature.com/childrens-stories/the-little-red-hen

I tried again last night to view the Northern Lights, thinking that maybe the early morning hours might provide better environmental conditions.

Still no lights.

I saw two deer ambling through our parking lot. So I named them "Aurora" and "Borealis". I tried to snap a picture but they were having none of it, so I went back inside and went back to bed.

No lights here in NJ either. The weather was rainy when I went to bed Friday. Was supposed to be mostly cloudy closer to morning. 4:00 am was still very cloudy, 5:00 am thick fog. Raining again after a mostly sunny Saturday. Rain all last night. Oh well, maybe next time.

This is turning out to be a great week.

Had a great visit over lunch yesterday and learned a lot!

Had my third Voice training this morning. The first two were just backstory and paperwork. Today, we went through some exercises, and I'll get homework to do over the next week.

@Jessica_Rose had given me some pointers and coincidentally that is the stuff we covered today. I always enjoy learning new things, especially if it is something that helps me improve myself to be a better me. It could be anything from learning gestures, unlearning habits, practicing my walk, or my speech. I am digging it!

My rock tumblers are completing their cycle, so it is time to wash some rocks. Then I can take a break for a couple of days until Saturday when we have the DAV / VA LGBTQ+ Listening Session (https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,248010.0.html). I'll get to meet up with some of the gals from our local VA Transgender Support Group.

Every morning when I get up, I think about the things I will be doing that day. I don't think of them as things I have to do. I think of them as things I get to do. Keep thinking positive thoughts. Always find a way to see things from a positive point of view. Never say, "I can't do this." Instead, ask yourself, "How can I get this done?"

Laundry seems to be the exception.

"I don't have to do this, I get to do this."
No. You have to do this.

"How can I get this done?" Hey, kid, wanna make $20?

I wanted to run a rock tumbler when I was a kid but the electric bill would have been too high.

One idea I have is to use a windmill to power a rock tumbler!  I already one that is 8ft tall in my yard that doesn't do anything but look pretty.

I find changing my bed a chore and taking the rubbish out (have to go down and back up 3 flights to go out side, down side of living on the 2nd floor but the view is great) .I am used to the how can I do this, comes from being a mechanic I suppose and I will try anything at least once . When I say anything there are some things I will never do!

@Maid Marion

Modern rock tumblers use very little electricity. I run three (one single-barrel, and two double-barrels) processing 15 lbs of rock 24/7. My electric bill went down so I know they are not a factor.

In one of the Rock Tumbling Groups I belong to, someone wanted to power their tumbler using a solar panel. Of course that would require a battery and the solar would keep the battery charged. I think a similar setup would work with a windmill. We did some calculations and determined that it could be done, but would not be more efficient than just running it off the line power coming into the house.

A truck driver has his tumbler in his truck running off an inverter. He does this because he is seldom home. All of these can work as an interesting experiment. But for the purpose of polishing rocks, it is easier and less complicated to just plug it into an outlet.

If you do go for the windmill power, let me know how it works out. I think it would be an awesome idea to share.

@davina61

I truly understand that. My previous apartment was on the third floor. Carrying a case of bottled water up those stairs put me in a world of hurt.

Fortunately, my new apartment here (2nd floor) has an elevator, a trash chute, and laundry on each floor. But I live towards one end and it is a LONG walk to the center of the building where all of those things are. I use a cart to haul my groceries now. Work smarter, not harder!

Now that I'm outside most of the time my electric bill has dropped below $60 for the 2nd month in a row!
I'm inside today because it has been raining on and off all day.
I use a Big Red Wagon with large tires for gardening.  I use it all the time to move stuff around the yard.

Lunch with my Bestie today. Then had to go to Menard's for a furnace filter, then Walmart to get some essentials (coffee, milk, eggs, bread... and donuts, of course).

It is now 80 degrees. Boob sweat. The struggle is real.

There is a mysterious flower that grows here in the Black Hills. I first saw one up near my gold mining spot. I just thought it was the most beautiful thing. They are called Dame's Rocket (among other things). They only bloom in May and have no scent. Until sundown, then they are reported to have the most wonderful fragrance.

I have been back to that spot several years in a row, but couldn't find one. My thinking was that I would bring one home and plant it so I could see how it smelled in the evening.

Today, I spotted three of them growing near our parking lot! I will be out tonight to sample the perfume.

(https://i.imgur.com/tl0runA.jpeg)

This week keeps getting better and better.

@LoriDee
Dear Lori:
I am sorry to read about your "80 degrees boob sweat" problem!!!!
 
Here where I am the temperature was 23 deg(f) early this morning.
The recent afternoons are in the low to mid 50 degree(f) range.

Have a good day and i hope that you had a nice lunch with your bestie.
HUGS, Danielle

Unsure which is worse:  boob, back, or underarm sweat.

I think I would pick underarm.

When using a tumbler to polish rocks, it is important to check the hardness of the stone, and/or KNOW what stone it is. The reason is that if you tumble softer stones with harder stones, the harder stones will grind the soft ones into sand.

About a week ago, my Bestie found this cool rock. (The big one).
(https://i.imgur.com/NAhtydB.jpg)

It was still dirty and I thought she had found a Petoskey Stone, which is fossilized coral. She said she found it up by Lead, SD. Petoskeys are found in Michigan, especially near the Great Lakes. They are not found in the Black Hills of SD.

After washing it off, I saw no coral formations, so it is not a Petoskey. It looks like Dolomite with these cool quartz veins. It should look awesome once it has been polished.
(https://i.imgur.com/HrxbPqC.jpg)

I ran it in Stage 1 (46/70 abrasive grit) for a week. Took it out today and ... oh my.
(https://i.imgur.com/cSj59Zn.jpg)

What I thought was quartz, which has a hardness of 7 on the Mohs scale (diamond is 10), turns out to be Calcite, which has a hardness of 3.  :icon_yikes:

It still turned out to be a cool rock. I cleaned out the holes with a waterpik and they are connected. There might be a pocket of crystals in the back. I put it under the stereoscope and can confirm they are Calcite crystals. Calcite is very common in limestone and dolomite. Quartz, not so much.

Bestie is happy with her cool find now that it is all clean and smooth. I got a reminder to check the rocks carefully before starting them in the next cycle. Back to the basics.

Working with stones appears to be a cool hobby.
I like the middle picture of that rock the best.

Chrissy

It's 85 degrees outside so I stayed in. Got some laundry done and worked on a few more jewelry pieces.

I was watching YouTube videos and trying to learn how to add a rose as a decorative item.

I need to work on that more.

(https://i.imgur.com/JZOyHi2.jpg)

A couple of others I finished yesterday.

(https://i.imgur.com/Iq4mTGs.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/pWjh4Di.jpg)

I was looking for a way to try something different from the standard wire frame.
I found a video tutorial for a "fishnet" basket. So I tried that.

Yeah, I need a lot more practice.

(https://i.imgur.com/N6wmWGj.jpeg)

I now have 24 pieces that I have done. When I get to 30, I will start listing them in my store on Etsy. I don't know if I will sell any, but learning how to do it is fun. If I can cover the cost of the wire, I'm ahead since the stones are free.

Very nice jewelry Lori!

Chrissy

We have a Community Event planned for tomorrow. Basically, a Meet & Greet so people can socialize with our neighbors. I was the first resident to move in after this apartment building was finished back in August. I am also on the Resident Council, so most of the tenants know me. I was informed that the tenants have a new nickname for me: "Prospector Lori". I showed a couple of guys my website and the nickname spread like wildfire.

This morning we got a message from the Taco Truck. Due to a scheduling mistake, it will be here today! So we are scrambling to accommodate the change and offering residents a free lunch. We still plan to have the main event tomorrow. Busy, busy, busy.

Malissa's Frybread has a reputation as being the best in the State.
My first time having frybread or an Indian Taco. Did not disappoint.
Five stars!

(I pigged out.)

Another busy day today.

Our Resident Council is meeting this morning to walk the property to discuss the Community Garden we plan to put in this summer. Then from 12-4 is our Meet & Greet event. I'm looking forward to the Bouncy Castle! Just kidding. I'm pretty certain that would put me in the hospital.  ;D

My rock tumblers are finishing up their "wash cycle", so later today I will need to empty them and reload them with another batch of stones for polishing.

Monday is Memorial Day so I will drive up to the Black Hills National Cemetery near Sturgis. I try to go each year. They do some really nice memorial services there. Various speakers and songs and dances by the Oyate. Oyate is the Lakota Sioux word meaning "The People", specifically referring to themselves, the Lakota tribe of the Sioux Nation. I enjoy it when they put out the flags on each grave. It is such a well-maintained cemetery. One of the most beautiful I have ever seen. I'll share some pictures when I return.

When I had to go to the Fort Meade VA Hospital at Sturgis, I always salute the cemetery as I drive by. My way of saying, "Thank you for your service and sacrifice." Now that our Specialty Clinics have been moved to Rapid City, I don't get up that way very often. Some day, that will be my final resting place and just maybe someone will salute my grave as they drive by.

After a quick trip to the cemetery, I will head across the interstate (I-90) to the Fort Meade Recreation Area to do some rockhounding if my knees hold up. It is a huge acreage with a mix of grassland and forest. It was once a training area for soldiers stationed at Fort Meade, so no metal detecting or digging is allowed. They don't want someone to accidentally discover an unexploded bomb.

Within the Recreation Area is the old Fort Meade Cemetery. It is very small, but some of the graves date back to the early 1900s. It is no longer in use but is preserved for historical reasons. Volunteers continue to maintain the site for family members who wish to visit.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Be safe!

Yesterday's event was a huge success. The weather was sunny and hot and the local children really enjoyed the Bouncy Castle.

We decided that the location for the Community Garden would not work and selected another area. We spoke with many residents and got their input on events and features/services they would like to see.

I went in full girlie mode, with black pants, black leather boots that come to just below the knee, a t-shirt, hair, makeup, and jewelry. One of the residents that I have seen around but never spoken to said, "You look nice today." I said thank you, but then the old dysphoria kicked in, and I questioned if she was implying that I don't on other days. Did she mean... STOP. Take the compliment and move on.

We had some disabled residents who had not been able to get an Indian Taco from the frybread truck the day before, so we stashed some extras in the Community Room refrigerator so they wouldn't miss out.

Now we have thunderboomers going off outside, so I am back to washing rocks.

I love my life.   ;D

Quote from: LoriDee on May 26, 2024, 02:47:14 PMYesterday's event was a huge success. The weather was sunny and hot and the local children really enjoyed the Bouncy Castle.

We decided that the location for the Community Garden would not work and selected another area. We spoke with many residents and got their input on events and features/services they would like to see.

I went in full girlie mode, with black pants, black leather boots that come to just below the knee, a t-shirt, hair, makeup, and jewelry. One of the residents that I have seen around but never spoken to said, "You look nice today." I said thank you, but then the old dysphoria kicked in, and I questioned if she was implying that I don't on other days. Did she mean... STOP. Take the compliment and move on.

We had some disabled residents who had not been able to get an Indian Taco from the frybread truck the day before, so we stashed some extras in the Community Room refrigerator so they wouldn't miss out.

Now we have thunderboomers going off outside, so I am back to washing rocks.

I love my life.   ;D

Yea for the big day!

But, as someone who loves the way sentences are structured... I always bump against the "you look great today" trope. And that's regardless of dysphoria. I just don't like the construction of it all.

My typical response is "Oh? How do I normally look?"

and then I explain that "today" is not only unnecessary in the sentence, it's counter-productive.

It's a bit like saying "it's raining outside". "Outside" is really adding nothing to that sentence.

And now, dear friend, you know why I am seldom invited places by, you know... people. 😘

I never read anything into things like that, bad grammar on most folks part! Its a compliment so take it .

It turned out to be a beautiful day. Bright blue sky, sunshine. It is windy but that is keeping the temperature right about 70.

I headed up to Sturgis to the Black Hills National Cemetery to pay my respects. When I first came to the Black Hills, I understood immediately why the Lakota Sioux revere them as sacred ground. They believe that their culture originated here. But there is more to it. The Hills have a spiritual energy about them. It could be all the quartz minerals being pressed by heavy granite, releasing piezoelectric energy... or maybe something else entirely.

I think this is one of the most beautiful cemeteries I have ever seen. It has a strong emotional impact on me and it doesn't take long before I am wiping tears from my cheek. But I do not feel death here. I feel love and respect, a sense of duty, and sacrifice. It is a unique emotion and I embrace it. Sometimes I think I need to feel this for some reason.

While taking pictures, a Vietnam Vet pulled up in his truck and asked if I had everything all lined up and in focus. I said I did and he said "This is a great place to mingle with the old-timers". I looked around the cemetery, and said, "Not very chatty, are they?" He laughed and said, "That's a good thing!"

I took a few more pictures. There were many families putting flowers on graves and spending time with each other. I try to avoid taking pictures of them and leave them to their gathering.

I left the cemetery and entered the Fort Meade Recreation Area to get to the old Fort Meade National Cemetery. It is a small cemetery that was built shortly after Fort Meade was built by General Custer's 7th Cavalry. There are two Medal of Honor recipients interred here and I try to salute them every year when I visit. Why there, a Coast Guard Veteran stopped to chat with me. He retired from the Fort Meade VA Hospital three years ago. He said he drove by this cemetery many times, but this was his first time to stop and walk the rows.

Memorial Day Photo Album (https://imgur.com/a/Z5gphyh)

Now I am at home and restoring my emotional energy. Sometimes, we just need a really good emotional purge. Just let it out and make room for the good things to come.

May they all rest in peace.  The world in fact needs more peace everyday.  There always seems to be conflicts, wars, and hostilities. 

Chrissy

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
Thank you for posting your thoughts and pictures that help
explain and honor what Memorial Day is about.
The photos were beautiful.

On many of my road trips from where I had previously lived
in Eastern Montana...
...I had visited Custer's Last Stand - The Little Big Horn Battlefield National Monument in Montana
and also Mount Rushmore, Sturgis and the Black Hills Cemetery in South Dakota
that you mentioned. 
Those were always enjoyable and beautiful fairly close by road trips.

Thank you again for sharing your trip, your pictures, and your posting.

HUGS, Danielle

On a much smaller scale than the Black Hills National Cemetery that you showed in your photos, here is a photo of my
small town cemetery that my Tooth-Fairy and I visited this afternoon to pay our honor and respect to our local military members.
  See my posting on my Blog:  https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246825.msg2270766.html#msg2270766

              (https://i.imgur.com/1G8QclHl.jpg)

I love the small cemeteries like that. I notice the markers lay flat. Where my brother is buried in California, they do that so they can mow the grass more easily.

But then I look at our cemeteries here. The grass is mowed and neatly trimmed right up next to each headstone. I appreciate the extra effort the VA puts into ensuring that each grave is nicely maintained, whether families still visit or not.

Two more jewelry pendants are done.

These were just quick pics to see how they look in a photo.

This one needs the wires to be tightened up. But I am getting better at making the "rose" decoration.
(https://i.imgur.com/GRWFz7z.jpeg)

This stone is Fuchsite, aka Chromium Mica. The silver mica is so shiny it reflects light, so doesn't look as good in pictures. I'm not sure how to fix that. Leaving it in shadow and using indirect light might be what I need to do with these.
(https://i.imgur.com/WQDJd09.jpeg)

Any photographers out there with suggestions, I'm listening. TIA

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:

Thank your sharing your photos of your handiwork... 
..the pendants that you made are very beautiful.

HUGS, Danielle

This should be interesting...

I have a telemedicine appointment with my Voice Coach this morning at 10 am. The VA loaned me an iPad so I could make the appointments from the privacy of my apartment.

Last night, our Property Manager notified us that they will be testing the fire alarms today...
at 10 am.

So I will be in my Jeep with the iPad in the parking lot, using cell data to connect.

Beautiful jewelry Lori!!!

From spending COUNTLESS hours overseeing photo shoots and listening to photographers drone on about stuff, I'm surprised to say certain things have leeched into my brain that I'm happy to wring out and share with you, in case they might be of help.

All of these, I believe, should relate to jewelry, as they are things that applied when shooting things like trophies, awards, cups, rings, etc... so it should translate.

1. Use natural light.

2. As a beginner, start with a plain white or gray background (this was the advice given to us when/if we had to shoot things ourselves quickly, without the aid of the professionals who we often hired. Sometimes they would break this rule... but they were pros)

3. Use a tri-pod if possible

4. (If shooting on your phone) do not zoom.

Those are the true basics. White balance is a big key, and HOW you use the natural light (and sometimes an additional light source) is important if you're hoping to get that real "gem stone sparkle" or "precious metal burst" off the item...

I think that's all I remember!

Thanks, Allie!

I will give that a shot. I am using my phone and zoomed in because it has a macro feature. I can always crop the excess background instead.

Oh, BTW, in my Voice Training class this morning I relayed your "sneeze story". My coach said it is wonderful that you have that immediate feedback available. (NOT GOOD! from the other room.) ;D

She said sneezing and coughing are two of our most difficult challenges because they are reflex actions. So if you are getting "Good Job!" from the other room, you are doing very well.

Good job!
@imallie

Voice Training went well without any issues.

Of course, the fire alarm guy never showed up, so the test never happened. {Sigh}

Quote from: LoriDee on May 29, 2024, 12:52:43 PMVoice Training went well without any issues.

Of course, the fire alarm guy never showed up, so the test never happened. {Sigh}

Glad to hear the voice training sessions are going well. They start off slow, and it may take several sessions before you begin to notice anything. Like most things, practice helps.

As for the fire alarm test, maybe it was a silent alarm?

Love always -- Jess

@Jessica_Rose

I am getting comfortable with speaking and catching myself so I can adjust. Now my coach wants me to practice reading aloud and talking on the phone. She told me jokingly to start making prank calls.  ;D
Actually, the test is to call local businesses and ask simple questions like when they are open, what is their price for {whatever}, and see if I am gendered correctly.

I just saw the fire alarm guy in the hallway at 1:30. He is walking around with a clipboard. Maybe he is looking for a clock because he obviously doesn't know when 10:00 a.m. is.  :laugh:

Quote from: LoriDee on May 29, 2024, 12:49:43 PMThanks, Allie!

I will give that a shot. I am using my phone and zoomed in because it has a macro feature. I can always crop the excess background instead.

Oh, BTW, in my Voice Training class this morning I relayed your "sneeze story". My coach said it is wonderful that you have that immediate feedback available. (NOT GOOD! from the other room.) ;D

She said sneezing and coughing are two of our most difficult challenges because they are reflex actions. So if you are getting "Good Job!" from the other room, you are doing very well.

Good job!
@imallie

Yeah, you have that split second to think about it!

As for voice? It's funny.. one of my friends who I speak to every day asked me about that. He asked if my voice was going to change. And I told him that I'd been changing it slightly over the last year or so, so he really hadn't noticed... but that I did reflexively change it now when I'm dressed... my wife picked up on that.

It was actually something my vocal coach used to tell me we were done. I had forgotten I had to start some slow cooking thing for dinner really early that morning, so I apologized to him but I had to do it while we were starting our session.

And after a few minutes he started laughing and said "do you realize you've been doing the voice this whole time, while you've been cooking?" And I did not. That's when he said. "You're all set."

And now it's the same thing, it was only that first day when I went out dressed that my wife said I was altering my voice, and I didn't really notice it.  So... I promise you Lori, it'll sort of become second nature really fast!

I was able to show my friend the little change it takes to alter it... adding more air, making the voice feel like it's coming from my throat and face, not my chest... but things you do automatically.

Oh and one thing that my coach did that I find still really helpful. We landed on a sentence ... one that automatically pops me into my voice. For me it's "I want to tell you a secret."  Because it makes me think of being a bit more quiet, adding a bit of inflection and air... and once I do that, I'm off to the races.

Anyway, so so glad you're finally doing the training... especially knowing how much you've been wanting to!!!!

Quote from: imallie on May 29, 2024, 03:01:06 PM"I want to tell you a secret."

I love it. I have found that if I start right, I can keep it going. I used "Good morning" or "Hello" as a starter because they are short. I like the secret. That has everything. Thanks!
 

"You have got this Chris" is my thought that helps me with talking more femininely.

I am going to lunch with the a couple of CIS female friends today.  They have always been nice to me.  I am not sure why they have understood my transition so well.  We almost never talk about me transitioning now.  I am just accepted as another woman by them, as far as I know. 

Chrissy

Another busy day today.

It's raining and the forecast says rain for the next five days. My mining buddy is hoping the creek will run fast enough to erode the bottom a bit. Then when we get there later all the gold will be just sitting there waiting for us to scoop it up.

The first-ever Pride Parade in Rapid City happens tomorrow. I'm not certain how the rain will affect it, or the turnout. I need a Pride Rainbow-colored rain jacket.  ;D

I paid my rent then I had to do some grocery shopping. I try to keep it under $200. Today's total was $245, but I got a new ceramic-lined cookware set that accounts for $60 of it. So it really was under $200. That's right, I am now the proud owner of a Dutch Oven! I haven't had one in about ten years. Funny I never missed it.

I also splurged and got some movies. One new Blu-Ray and two DVD sets. One is a six-movie collection of Children of the Corn. That should keep me off the streets at night... for a week or so. But nine movies total for less than $25 is not a bad deal.

I have a couple of people who have asked for jewelry pieces and I was able to get more wire today. I'll work on those while it's too wet to go outside.

All of this doing takes a lot of energy, so I am now replenishing with chocolate donuts for lunch.  ;D 

Does the real gold look bright and shiny when you find it?

Chrissy

Yes, it is unmistakable. I love the way it shines when sunlight hits it.

Did you check out my photo album on my website?
The website is Lori Dee's Corner (https://www.lori-dee.com/)

I have three photo albums there. Two for rock hounding and my Gold Gallery (https://goldgallery.lori-dee.com/).

Happy Pride Day!

The weather has cleared and the first-ever Pride Parade in Rapid City will begin in five minutes. I won't be participating due to... issues. I will try to post pics if I can get some. Our local newspaper hides everything behind a paywall.

On the first of each month, I do a "Progress Check". I weigh myself and measure my bust, underbust (ribs), waist, and hips. Being the nerd that I am, I enter these on a spreadsheet so I can graph my progress. The spreadsheet is also where I record my dosage and estradiol levels for comparison.

This has been amazingly helpful because I can point to a specific point in time and say, "Here is where the problem started", or "Here is where progress was being made". My doctor can then cross-reference my medical records to verify what I am seeing. This enabled me to show my doctor that the generic Mylan patch was not working, that the oral tablets were not working, and that I was making progress when I first went on the Grove brand patches. This in turn got the Pharmacist to place a special order so that I will only be prescribed Grove brand patches until my doctor changes something.

So what has happened since April 1st when I started the Grove brand patches?
From April 1 to May 1, I lost 9 lbs. I lost 1/4 inch from my bustline (negligible), one inch from underbust, 1/2 inch from my waist, and 1 inch from my hips. Considering almost ten pounds lost, all of that makes sense.

From May 1 - June 1 I lost no weight at all. But I lost almost two inches (1.75") from my bust (Unacceptable), 1/2 inch from underbust, 1/2 inch from waist, and no change in hips.

I know that our weight and mesurements will change daily, even throughout the day. In my Hypnotherapy practice, I would tell my weight-control clients not to weigh themselves every day. Once a week, on the same day, at the same time of day will give more accurate results. I follow the same rules except I do it once a month.

A half-inch plus or minus is nothing I worry about. Weight fluctuations, or maybe I held the measuring tape a little differently, things happen. A one-inch difference makes me examine where did it go? Was I exercising more? Eating right? How does one measurement compare to the others? Did I lose weight in all areas? (The boobs are always the first to go).

But if I am gaining weight, or even holding steady, and losing inches I begin to question what is going on. Today I have been struggling with my frustration and depression, and today's weigh-in results didn't help. But on Monday morning I see my Psychologist and then right after I get labs drawn to check my hormone levels. Based upon how I feel and my spreadsheet numbers I am willing to bet my levels are still too low. I have been taking my vitamins twice daily, so they can't blame them.

We will see what happens. The struggle continues.

With mental health issues (stress, frustration, depression, anxiety, etc.) there are three things you can do to feel better.

1. Change your thinking. It really is that simple. Just think about something else. Bonus points if it is something that interest you and unrelated to the issue that is triggering you.
2. Change your activity. Do something else. A hobby, read a book, listen to music, take a bubble bath, paint your nails, practice your makeup skills, play a video game.
3. Change your environment. Go for a walk, "touch grass", talk to a neighbor, visit a museum, sit in your yard, visit Nature.

You can actually do all three at the same time. Take a hike while listening to music. Take a bubble bath while reading a book. I love being out in Nature. It recharges my soul. It can be as simple as watching the hawk flying overhead, listening to the robins, or looking at wildflowers.

(https://i.imgur.com/JTH0mDi.jpeg)

(https://i.imgur.com/3331hGg.jpeg)

See? It's working already.

I find my belly is the first to go and makes the boobs look bigger by comparison. Most of my weight has been accumulating on my thighs. I guess that is a common place for women. Weight cycling can be a real thing. Loose some then gain it back and with the help of the hormones goes to more female locations.

Quote from: LoriDee on June 01, 2024, 12:35:33 PMWith mental health issues (stress, frustration, depression, anxiety, etc.) there are three things you can do to feel better.

1. Change your thinking. It really is that simple. Just think about something else. Bonus points if it is something that interest you and unrelated to the issue that is triggering you.
2. Change your activity. Do something else. A hobby, read a book, listen to music, take a bubble bath, paint your nails, practice your makeup skills, play a video game.
3. Change your environment. Go for a walk, "touch grass", talk to a neighbor, visit a museum, sit in your yard, visit Nature.

You can actually do all three at the same time. Take a hike while listening to music. Take a bubble bath while reading a book. I love being out in Nature. It recharges my soul. It can be as simple as watching the hawk flying overhead, listening to the robins, or looking at wildflowers.

(https://i.imgur.com/JTH0mDi.jpeg)

(https://i.imgur.com/3331hGg.jpeg)

See? It's working already.

So pretty flowers!

Chrissy

I don't know what the yellow one is, but the pink/purple one is called Dame's Rocket. One of the residents in my building is from Scotland and she said they call it Sweet Rocket. At night, they smell like perfume.

Recently we have been discussing things over on the Personal Safety thread. Normally, I don't worry too much about it because I am confident that I can handle most situations.

Then SafeHome.org released their report ranking all US states on how LGBTQ+ friendly they are. The report is based upon LGBTQ+ legislation (restricting rights, protecting rights, etc.) and the FBI database on hate crime. NBC News Article (https://www.wesh.com/article/florida-second-worst-state-lgbtq-people/60938699)

The safest places to live are:

#1: Rhode Island
#2: New Hampshire
#3: Delaware
#4: Alaska
#5: Hawaii

The absolute worst places to live are:

#1: South Dakota
#2: Florida
#3: Wyoming
#4: Ohio
#5: Alabama

Really? South Dakota is worse than Texas? Worse than Florida? Of course, the media is focused on how Florida is the second-worst, only casually mentioning that SD is even more unsafe. Yeah, let's talk about Florida. Nobody cares about the Midwest.

I knew SD was a conservative state. I am mostly conservative in my views on many things. When I was researching where to move to, (I wanted to leave IL really bad), I looked at things like the cost of living, crime rate, unemployment rate, housing costs, etc. LGBTQ-friendliness was not on my radar because I had no idea that I was transgender.

When Kristi Noem became Governor, things began to change here... for the worse. I liked her when she was our Congresswoman. As a governor, she thinks she is the Queen and news reports repeatedly expose her corruption. But no one seems to care. You know it is bad when the Sioux Nation has banned her from setting foot on any of the Reservations in South Dakota.

Yesterday was Rapid City's first Pride Parade. The media announced it beforehand. But no mention of it in the news yesterday or today. Did they not have any reporters there? Did no one take any pictures? Why the silence?

It seems I picked a bad place to get diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. (Like I had any choice). I could move to a more friendly state, but I can't afford the cost of living on a fixed income. It's not like I can get a pay raise or anything.

I am meeting with a VSO (Veteran Services Officer) this month to re-evaluate my VA disability. When I first applied for veteran disability back in 1990, I was told that there was no compensation for service-connected tinnitus. The policy has changed since then and living on a tank for almost 15 years certainly covers the service-connected part. If my claim is approved, my disability rating will increase by 10%. That doesn't sound like much, but it will put another $200 per month in my pocket.

With a little extra income each month, I can get a nice used vehicle...

and "live in a van down by the river". ;D

I'm back from my appointment with my VA Psychologist. She is truly a wonderful person. She is working on a recommendation for Gender Affirming Surgery. Although the VA won't do it, her report documents a long history of Gender Dysphoria and that HRT alone has been unsuccessful as a treatment.

After the appointment, I had the lab draw blood to check my Estradiol level. I have been on the new Grove brand patches since April, so I should be finally near my target level. But based on how I feel and my June 1st measurements, I still believe the results will be too low.

I see my Gynecologist in two weeks. The lab results will be back by then, so we can discuss why I am so dissatisfied with my progress. I will also ask her to do her version of a surgery recommendation. Then in August, I will talk to my Primary and try to get a recommendation from her too.

Even though the VA currently does not cover Gender Affirming Surgery, that could change. There is currently a lawsuit against the VA by TAVA (Transgender American Veterans Association) to change this discriminatory policy. If the lawsuit fails, I can use the recommendations from my doctors to pursue surgery through Medicare.

So, yet again, I am standing by to stand by. *sigh*

Today's Motivational Message:

(https://i.imgur.com/FKXZs60.jpeg)

Straighten your crown and have a great day!

@LoriDee
Dear Lori:

EXCELLENT motivational message.   
              Thank you for sharing.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Everyday try to think positive thoughts.

Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on June 04, 2024, 12:20:58 PMEveryday try to think positive thoughts.

Chrissy

@ChrissyRyan
Dear Chrissy;
Yes indeed, you are right on !!!!

              Positive Mindset... put away negativity
        https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,238255.0.html

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

It's raining (again) so I emptied the rock tumblers and got them going on their next cycle.

These are the ones that have finished polishing. I like the Chevron Amethyst (top-left). Quartz in the middle, some banded jasper on the right. The bottom left is Teepee Agate, which is actually a dark red. And the bottom right is Bubblegum Agate.

(https://i.imgur.com/fpdqtWC.jpeg)

Some cameo shots showing details:

Chevron Amethyst
(https://i.imgur.com/NLVCUZD.jpeg)

Dark Amethyst backlit
(https://i.imgur.com/PWrE1sS.jpeg)

Teepee Agate... is that a pre-historic paw print? ;D
(https://i.imgur.com/mh3yeJA.jpeg)

Bubblegum Agate... I love the swirls of color
(https://i.imgur.com/299BiE4.jpeg)

These will get added to the ever-increasingly large pile of stones that eventually, someday, will become a piece of jewelry, maybe, someday. I think.

Today was a great day!

82 degrees in the city. Up in the forest, about a 1,000-foot elevation difference, it was 72. The water was running a little high and fast, but not dangerously so. My mining partner/bestie/photographer was having knee issues. (It was replaced a few years ago, so I told her to return it to the shop on a warranty claim.) She was content to sit in the shade and watch me work.

Our main dig site is rather hidden and involves crossing another creek to get to a "sort of island". It sits between two creeks and is bordered on a third side by a very wet marsh. We decided to wait until the water level drops a bit more. But in the meantime, there is plenty of dirt we can search.

Across the creek, the Dame's Rockets are in full bloom. They are everywhere. At the bottom and all the way up this rock face.

(https://i.imgur.com/yCRWd2k.jpeg)

A close-up of my favorite wildflower.
(https://i.imgur.com/TJMGwom.jpeg)

I followed the smaller creek and the water felt so nice and refreshing. I use a Garrett AT Gold metal detector to locate "drop zones" where gold collects. Usually, the gold is too small to be detected, but if a pile of it collects together I can find it. I also listen for signals that indicate lead shot, like from shotguns, or even bullets. Lead is 11 times heavier than water, gold is twice that at 20 times heavier. So if a signal tells me that lead shot has collected at a spot, I usually find gold there too. All the heavy stuff collects in the same spots. Write that down. There will be a test.

(https://i.imgur.com/WJZDaVm.jpeg)
Think I am having fun? Yup.

(https://i.imgur.com/zbpIgNQ.jpeg)
OK. Where are you?

(https://i.imgur.com/zWlaXg6.jpeg)
Gotcha!

(https://i.imgur.com/VKKR04m.jpeg)
Come to Momma!

(https://i.imgur.com/Esn0Rre.jpeg)
I forgot my glasses. Where did it go?

Each season I periodically post pictures in my Gold Gallery on my website. The link is in my profile, then go to the photo albums section. I don't post all of what I find, but if I have a good day or if there is something interesting about the gold I found, I will post it. Just not today.  ;D

Very nice pictures!

Chrissy

I saw a halo around the moon last night.

Growing up in the desert in California I met a Navajo Medicine Man. He told me that a halo around the moon means a storm within three days. So far, he has never been wrong.

And here it is — wind, rain, and hail. Gotta love Springtime in the Black Hills.

Quote from: LoriDee on June 10, 2024, 05:08:34 PMI saw a halo around the moon last night.

Growing up in the desert in California I met a Navajo Medicine Man. He told me that a halo around the moon means a storm within three days. So far, he has never been wrong.

And here it is — wind, rain, and hail. Gotta love Springtime in the Black Hills.

 @LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
I have heard that also... regarding a halo around the night moon
predicts a coming storm.

I have always called the halos around a night moon,  Moon-bows
They can be a simple halo around the moon or it can include all the
colors of a daytime rainbow. 

Here is an informative explanation:  (with photos)
                  Do You See A Moon Halo Or A Moonbow?
          https://www.farmersalmanac.com/what-is-a-moonbow

HUGS, Danielle

@Northern Star Girl

That's awesome. I've never seen one as big as they describe. Usually, it is just moonlight shining through clouds. But the halo is completely round even though the moon was just a crescent. I did a lot of camping at Yosemite when I was younger, but never saw a Moonbow. Adding that to my bucket list.  ;D

If you want to see a moonbow you need to visit Cumberland Falls in Kentucky. They claim it is the only place in the western hemisphere where a moon bow shows predictably, usually for 5 nights every month.

Here is how it looks with a camera. Please notice the stars in the sky, the big dipper to the right. The human eye, btw, only sees black and white during the night.

(https://i.imgur.com/nxfSBOK.jpeg)

Wow, Heidemarie.

That is a great pic! Thanks for sharing.

The saga continues...

I was switched from oral estradiol to patches because I was experiencing a hormonal rollercoaster. Hot flushes, night sweats... yeah, PMS daily. The patches provided a steady dose, but never enough to hit my target serum levels.

I was switched to a different doctor who tried to increase my dosage, but I was already at the highest dose patch and wearing two a day. So she switched back to oral and upped the dose. And I went back to daily PMSing.

Then the VA decided to bring my care in-house and assigned me a new doctor. She switched me back to patches and increased the dose to three a day. The pharmacy screwed up and sent the generic Mylan patches, which I already know don't work. So Doc got with the Pharm Tech and ordered Grove brand patches.

That was back in March. On June 3rd I had labs drawn to check my serum levels on the Grove patches, compare those results with my previous experience with them, and compare their effectiveness vs the generic Mylan patches.

The results came in today: 78. I had one doctor tell me my target serum level was between 200-250. This doctor said I should be just under 200.

In almost five years, I have been over 100 exactly three times, and never consecutively. It also has nothing to do with Mylan or Grove brand, or oral. It appears that none of these are working at this dose and I am frustrated to the point of anger.

I see my doctor next Monday. She is a wonderful person. She recently traveled throughout Europe studying the latest in Transgender Medicine. I have only had one visit with her, so I am very curious how she will handle this issue. I expected to have this figured out four years ago and just be on a maintenance dose by now. *sigh*

My levels were never high enough on patches. I was switched to weekly injections which has worked for me. A pain injecting but worth it.

I was wondering about that since patches and oral do not seem to get the job done. It will be interesting to see what she suggests. My first Endocrinologist and I would have arguments about how I wanted things and what the VA policies would allow.

Woohoo!

UPS delivered my new 10-man tent today. Last summer I had an 8-man tent and it was barely big enough to accommodate me and my gear. That tent got destroyed during a wicked hail storm. I was under trees, but tennis-ball size hail ripped two holes in the tent.

I now have all my gear packed up in the Jeep. In addition to mining and camping gear, I also have three 6-gallon water cans that I use for bathing and washing dishes. I still need to do laundry and clean out my rock tumblers. Then load up clothing, food, and drinking water.

The plan is to spend five days a week at the mining site. There is no cell service out there, so I will be limited on updates. I have doctor's appointments and other commitments which will bring me back to the city. I typically use those days to shower, do laundry, and resupply before heading back out.

I won't be posting photos here for security reasons. I have been open about who I am and what I do, but the exact location of where I go is something I keep "close to the chest". I will continue to check in from time to time as I can. Sometimes the night air allows a decent cell signal where I can access the internet.

I am hopeful that this will be a great season.

Hi Lori,

My son told me the newer iPhones can make a satellite call. Just saying. I know those things are pricey!

Sounds like a fun adventure. Be safe out there and hope you find some shiny things.

Hi Kay, I heard that too but I think it's more of a T-Mobile and Starlink thing than just an iPhone.
It might be worth talking to someone at T-Mobile to see how far it's come along. 

This article is from the first of the year.
https://www.satellitetoday.com/connectivity/2024/01/03/spacex-launches-first-direct-to-cell-starlink-satellites-for-service-with-t-mobile/

Came back early due to the weather forecast. Tomorrow is predicted to be 93 degrees and rain. When that happens it almost always results in wicked thunderstorms with dangerous hail. I learned my lesson last summer. I had two hailstones the size of tennis balls rip through my tent. I'll have to dig out the pics and share them.

The outing was not a failure though. There is a spot a short distance upstream from our usual mining spot. It has all of the signs of being a large drop zone that may have been collecting gold for decades or longer.

If you have read my articles on prospecting that I have posted on my website, you should understand this: The creek travels in a relatively straight line, then makes a sharp 90-degree turn. The creek gets its energy from the flowing water (kinetic energy) that pushes material like sand and gravel along the bottom. If the water slows down, it loses energy and can no longer push the heavy stuff along the bottom. So heavy materials like gold, lead, platinum, etc. will drop and settle to the bottom.

As the creek makes a turn, the water on the inside of the bend slows down. Think about the wheels on a car as it turns. The wheels on the outside of the turn go faster and on the inside go slower. So it is common for gold to be found on the inside bend of a creek or stream.

In this case, the creek flows in a straight line, then hits a rock face at the base of a cliff. The momentum almost comes to a full stop, then the water makes a 90-degree right turn. My guess is that when the water hits that rock face and nearly stops, all the heavy materials will drop right there.

In previous years when I checked that spot, there was a nice deep "fishing hole" there, probably from the turbulence of the water against the rock. But that hole was about five feet deep. I can stand in a hole that deep, but then can't bend over to do any shoveling without taking a deep breath first. Shoveling dirt underwater is hard enough, then add the current of the stream flowing.

Over the years that area has flooded twice since I started mining there. Now, that hole is mostly filled in with sand and silt. The good news is that I can easily walk to the spot and dig. The bad news is I am digging sand and silt. It will take a while to get down to the heavy gravel. If we have a dry year, the water level will drop and allow me to continue digging. Too much rain and that spot might have to wait another year.

Forecast for the next seven days: rain, sun, rain, sun, rain, sun. rain.

*sigh*

Last summer, I was "between apartments" so I went camping for six weeks during July and August.
IT. WAS. HOT. It hit 108 in Rapid City.

I found an excellent campsite, in the shade of trees, protected from wind and being seen by humans.

(https://i.imgur.com/TmpW6OC.jpeg)

I was settled in nicely and doing some prospecting in the area when my emergency radio alert went off. Severe Thunderstorms coming. So I backed the Jeep further under the trees to better shield it.

The hail was so big and coming down so hard I could not make a run to get in the Jeep. I sat it out in my tent wearing a bucket on my head for a hard hat. I'm glad I did. Two hailstones with jagged edges ripped holes in my tent. One near the door and the other on the back side panel.

(https://i.imgur.com/lcwTD4t.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/0pDwApI.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/ovsiqT9.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/vLym7zt.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/p22JYDq.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/PcKOnNZ.jpeg)

I have a video I shot looking out the tent window. Imgur won't let me upload it because it is too long. But I shot the video of these hailstones bouncing off my Jeep. I thought they were going to bust out a window for sure and I wanted video for any insurance claim. The trees minimized the damage to the Jeep, my tent, and me.

My friends said they wished they had a picture of me sitting in my tent with a bucket on my head.

Hey Lori -

First of all - so cool that a) you do that and b) you get such a kick out of it!

So can I ask a couple of questions which are, I'm certain, pretty ignorant... but they're just because I'm curious?

These mining sites --is it a law of diminishing returns? I assume the more they are mined, the more difficult it is to mine subsequently both in terms of quality and quantity of stone, yes? And unlike, say rooting for truffles or something, they aren't in a constant cycle of growth, right? So how do you combat this?

Second, does the rain or any foul weather play into this in a positive way? I know it certainly can make a pleasurable experience unpleasurable... but I mean, does erosion ever refresh a site or an area?

Just curious how the mechanics of all this works! Seems fascinating!

Love,
Allie

I am glad that you chose to return home and be safe!

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
Welcome back from your camping trip.... 
You were much missed here on the Forum while you were away.
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: imallie on June 14, 2024, 11:32:52 PMHey Lori -

First of all - so cool that a) you do that and b) you get such a kick out of it!

So can I ask a couple of questions which are, I'm certain, pretty ignorant... but they're just because I'm curious?

These mining sites --is it a law of diminishing returns? I assume the more they are mined, the more difficult it is to mine subsequently both in terms of quality and quantity of stone, yes? And unlike, say rooting for truffles or something, they aren't in a constant cycle of growth, right? So how do you combat this?

Second, does the rain or any foul weather play into this in a positive way? I know it certainly can make a pleasurable experience unpleasurable... but I mean, does erosion ever refresh a site or an area?

Just curious how the mechanics of all this works! Seems fascinating!

Love,
Allie

Hi Allie,

The simple answer... it depends. In hard rock mining where they carve rocks out of a mountain, it depends on the vein they are mining. It might be small and become huge, or start huge and dwindle to nothing.

I have studied the Empire Gold Mine here. It was one of the top gold producers in the county back in the day. In places, the shaft is 500' underground and over a mile of tunnels. The veins of gold they were following started at six feet wide, but got thinner and thinner until they disappeared. They dug a lot of prospecting pits hoping the vein continued so they could locate it, but never did.

What I do is placer mining. I collect gold that has already eroded out of the mountain. Here again, the answer is... it depends. If five ounces of gold erode out of the mountain and wash down into the stream, and I find five ounces, obviously I have collected it all and would need to move on. But we have no way of knowing how much is in the mountain, or how much has eroded out over the past 1,000+ years.

For this reason, I do a lot of sampling. I look for drop zones and use my metal detector to locate hidden drop zones. I then sample those and record the results. Once I determine where the gold is, where the paystreak lies (the gold is deposited in straight lines), and at what depth then the fun begins. In some cases, I didn't find anything, or so little it did not catch my interest. The spot where I am now continues to pay off. In 2018, my mining buddy and I changed the flow of the river and dug up the whole bottom of the creek to knee-deep and an area of about 20' across by 40' long.

While researching the area, I found a copy of the very first map ever drawn of this area in the "Dakota Territories". It was surveyed in 1898-1899 and the map was published in 1900. On that map was drawn a survey of "my spot" where someone already had a gold claim. I believe the claim was filed as early as 1878 and was part of the gold rush that started when the Custer Expedition discovered gold on French Creek far to the southwest of here.

The fact that this area continues to pay off (for over 100 years), tells me that there is a large source that is slowly eroding into the creek. I believe I have located the vein that the Empire Mine lost track of. I don't know its exact location, but I believe that is the source that is eroding out. I have checked every inch of these mountains in a mile radius and the source is not on the surface. Perhaps it is in the creek bottom, or near enough to it that the Spring floods replenish the supply each year.

As to your second question, yes bad weather can have a good outcome. Heavy rain can erode the lodes faster and wash the gold downhill into the creek. The flood waters have more energy so can move gold downstream more easily, and erode the bottom to expose new gold, or old deposits that were too large to move in the past. Even a forest fire can burn hot enough to fuse tiny specks of gold in the soil into larger detectable flakes.

The obvious downside to severe weather is the danger of high water flooding and strong currents. It also forces me to wait, sometimes more than a year for the water level to drop to safe conditions. 2020 was like that. The creeks and rivers were still recovering from a flood in 2019. Then COVID happened, so 2020 was a year that I never got out to the creek. I had stockpiled pay dirt from before the flood. I would set up a Gold Cube in my garage so I could continue through the winter. I had enough to keep me occupied for most of the summer too.

If you are fascinated by how all this works, I have written some articles and posted them on my website at Lori-Dee.com. I intended to make tutorials and I am in the process of rewriting them to improve clarity and make them more useful to those who are interested. I have a couple more that I intend to write when I have more time, (usually in winter).

Thanks, I do find it fascinating. Plus, I always find it time well-spent listening to people share their knowledge and what they are passionate about. So thank you very much for taking the time to write all that.

One of the expressions in our house when we hit a "vein" of new information on a subject, new or old, is to say "Hey, I got a little bit smarter today." And I very much feel that way today - thanks to you! 😘

In winter, I do a lot of research. I study geology maps, geology reports, mining journals, and even old newspapers. I get "cabin fever" coupled with a side dish of "gold fever" and want to get outside.

We started just sluicing buckets in the creek, but a fellow prospector suggested a setup to be able to prospect year-round. Towards the end of our season when the weather is beginning to cool off, we screen extra buckets of dirt to bring home. We run the dirt through screens to remove the large rocks that we don't want to carry. The law says we cannot take dirt away from the site, but we are allowed to take "concentrates". Concentrates means that the dirt has had something removed from it, so we were legal. We would only take one or two 5-gallon buckets home each trip out and store them in my garage.

The apartment complex rents out half of a two-car garage. I rented both halves so I had the building to myself. It had electricity, but no heat and no insulation. I stored the buckets of paydirt in there and when ready would fire up my propane heater and shop lights. It was by no means warm, but it kept the water above freezing so it would flow through my Gold Cube.

Mike Pung invented the Gold Cube to separate very fine gold from the black sands common where he prospected on the beaches of Lake Michigan. It works very well and since I was finding fine gold here, I used it as my winter-mode sluicebox.

(https://i.imgur.com/mPsIjnC.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/lo4dVhd.jpeg)

An electric bilge pump forces water up the black hose to the "slick plate" of the Gold Cube. This is where I feed the paydirt. The water washes the dirt down through various traps and riffle systems and the fine gold is extracted.

The water exits the Cube at the bottom into the white washtub. All the excess dirt gets washed down to there, and any gold that did not get caught ends up in that tub. The heavy stuff settles to the bottom and the lighter stuff is washed over the edge into the black tub. There, the water is calmer which allows more sediment to settle and the lighter stuff gets washed over the edge with the "clean" water. The pool is large enough to allow further settling of the sediments and the pump is submerged there to draw water from. And the cycle repeats. Over time the water becomes too saturated with dissolved solids and has to be changed. (That is a real PITA.)

Over time, I got better at locating gold and before long I was no longer finding just fine gold. I was finding larger flakes that the Gold Cube was not designed to capture. Eventually, I stopped using it and saved $75 per month by not renting the garage. Now I just store the buckets in my apartment, and definitely not as many.

Pro Tip: add a squirt of dish soap to the dirt when you bring it indoors. I learned the hard way what happens when fish's toilet water is allowed to warm up to apartment temperatures. Yikes that is smelly stuff. The dish soap kills all the bacteria from the creek and does not affect panning the dirt later if you carefully rinse the soap out first.

Hi Lori,
Which beaches of Lake Michigan are they finding gold?

I don't know exactly. Prospectors often do not reveal exact locations.

From what he told me, he looks for large rocks on the beach, then looks to see if they have black sand at the base of them. Black sand is heavy so it can be a sign the fine gold is there too.

Then it is just a matter of sampling to see if there is gold. If there is... dig, dig, dig!  ;D

I watch Ozzie gold hunters so I have seen how they collect the gold, sluice, dry blowers and cyanide ponds. Its not all about nuggets.Mind you finding sun bakers with a detector is a thrill!!

Family dynamics can be thought-provoking. Since my transition, I have changed my role within the family dynamic. < deadname > was married three times, divorced twice, widowed once, and had two children during the first marriage which ended in a bitter custody battle. The children ended up being placed in "the system" and were adopted by my brother during the custody battle. He forbade the children from contacting me, so there is no relationship between <deadname> and that part of the family.

Since transitioning, I realize that Lori Dee is single, has never been married, and has no children. I celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day to pay tribute to my parents and do not expect the same in return from <deadname's> offspring.

This morning, I got a heartwarming text message from my cousin. She has been very accepting, even joyful about my transition, but we only talk occasionally... usually around holidays.

Her message this morning made me smile because she is trying very hard:

"Hey, Cuz, this is kinda hard for me. I know I missed Mother's Day and now it's Father's Day!! But I'm confused on which day I should be wishing you a Happy ________ Day???  Either way, I want you to know I am thinking about of you!!! Love you!!! < heart emoji >

It is always refreshing to have someone in your life who doesn't have an agenda.

Quote from: LoriDee on June 16, 2024, 08:53:13 AMFamily dynamics can be thought-provoking. Since my transition, I have changed my role within the family dynamic. < deadname > was married three times, divorced twice, widowed once, and had two children during the first marriage which ended in a bitter custody battle. The children ended up being placed in "the system" and were adopted by my brother during the custody battle. He forbade the children from contacting me, so there is no relationship between <deadname> and that part of the family.

Since transitioning, I realize that Lori Dee is single, has never been married, and has no children. I celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day to pay tribute to my parents and do not expect the same in return from <deadname's> offspring.

This morning, I got a heartwarming text message from my cousin. She has been very accepting, even joyful about my transition, but we only talk occasionally... usually around holidays.

Her message this morning made me smile because she is trying very hard:

"Hey, Cuz, this is kinda hard for me. I know I missed Mother's Day and now it's Father's Day!! But I'm confused on which day I should be wishing you a Happy ________ Day???  Either way, I want you to know I am thinking about of you!!! Love you!!! < heart emoji >

It is always refreshing to have someone in your life who doesn't have an agenda.

Lori,

 It is the nice thought that counts.  They can make a big difference in our lives.



Chrissy

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
I much enjoyed reading your last post... filled with good news,
acceptance, and a loving and heartwarming message from your cousin.

Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs, Danielle

Just returned from my appointment with my Gynecologist. I explained to her that I was very frustrated with my (physical) progress and that it was affecting my mental health. She said she had spoken with my Psychologist and understood my issues.

In a nutshell, I have been on HRT for over four years. In that time, various doctors (two Endocrinologists and now a Gynecologist) have prescribed various dosages of estradiol, both oral and transdermal patches. During this entire period, my serum levels have never come close to the target levels they wanted to achieve. So I asked her, if we were to take almost five years' worth of data, examining dosage vs serum levels, can we extrapolate my correct dosage? Does that mean I need to apply twelve patches per day? Should we add a patch, test in one week, add another, test in one week, and keep going until I am wearing 25 patches? What is the next step? 26 patches?

My Primary doctor believes that my body metabolizes things faster than others. So how do we test that? Do I sit in the lab and have them draw blood every hour to check how fast my levels drop?

After much discussion, I told her that we started with low levels and kept increasing the dosage to reach the target level. That has not worked. She has informed consent. Let's start high and slowly decrease until we hit the target level.

We decided to ditch the patches and switch over to injections once a week to see if that would work better. I insisted on a high dose first and work on dropping as needed. She agreed. Her scheduler will call to set up an appointment with the Specialty Nurse at Fort Meade to show me how to do it. (I have never injected anything in my lifetime, so this should be fun.) The Specialty Nurse who does injections is a friend of mine. She is one of those wonderful people who just radiate happiness to everyone near her. I haven't seen her in a year, so it will be good to catch up.

Welcome to the injection club! I didn't have anyone show me how to do it, but I found a few helpful videos. It was still nerve-wracking the first time, and the second, and the third...  After a year it still isn't high on my 'favorite things to do list', but it's nice having a weekly injection instead of a steady supply of patches.

The vials of estradiol valerate don't need refrigeration, room temperature is fine (unless your room is below 32F or above 90F). Hopefully they will provide appropriate injection supplies. My doctor orders 23g needles to draw the estradiol, and 25g to inject. Unfortunately, my pharmacy always sends me 22g needles! I order mine on Amazon.

I hope your new plan results in more appropriate levels.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

@Jessica_Rose

Thanks for the tips!

I'm not sure what will be included in the "kit" but the VA's copay is low enough that cost shouldn't be an issue. I will ask about the needle gauge to see what they are using. I can always ask for something else. Their pharmacy is very accommodating.

The plan is to start once a week, then test in 3 months to see if the dosage needs adjustment. If I can maintain a steady serum level like you do, we might switch to the every-other-week injections. But that decision is way down the road. It will take a couple of weeks for my supplies to arrive, so I think my training appointment will be a week from now.

Doc also said she wants to be sure I do my labs halfway between injections. She doesn't want to see the highs or lows but about where my average will be.

I love learning new things but stabbing myself with a needle was not on my bucket list.  ;D

I inject in my upper thigh. Oddly, it's a little like electrolysis. One spot may be completely painless, while 2mm over may feel like you've hit a nerve. My injection needles are 1.5 inches long, and I never learned how to do it quickly. It's definitely not something to do while driving down a jeep trail, or at a traffic light! I found a website which attempts to simulate your levels based on dosage (it does not require any personal information). It is an estimate only and should not be used to calculate your dosage. However, it may help you understand how much your levels can vary over time.

https://transfemscience.org/misc/injectable-e2-simulator/

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Thanks for the info!

She wants to start with sub-Q injections. She said as it builds up in the fatty tissue it stabilizes how much is released into the system. IM seems to be metabolized faster (which makes sense to me). So if we find my levels are steady but too high, we may switch to IM to see how much they drop before lowering the dose. The hope is that as the levels fluctuate, my lows will still be higher than where I am now. My lab on June 3 was at 78. She wants me close to 200. I have only been above 100 three times in four years and they were not consecutive tests.

So, yeah, I'm all over the place. Time to try something different.

I have my levels checked a few hours before my weekly injection, so it should be near my lowest level of the week. My last few checks showed levels around 250, so during the week I'm probably quite a bit higher. I could probably reduce my dosage a bit, but things feel 'off' when it gets too low. My doctor and I are both comfortable at this level, so we don't plan to change anything. What dosage and level is right for you? Whatever both of you are comfortable with. I hope you find a dosage that works well.

Love always -- Jess

Watching Ozzie Gold Hunters last night and they found a 30oz nugget . Keep digging dear.

Hi Lori,

My introduction to Susan's has been supported by your kind and encouraging greetings, it feels like I'm being taken by the hand and guided through these steps. Now I started reading your Blog. I couldn't stop and   I'm feeling quite emotional right now -it really got to me. What a powerful journey - it really helps others when you share this. Your spiritual / mystical interests really make sense, I love the photo album - in the post transition pictures - your inner beauty really radiates. 

Love
Mandy 

@Mandy Spencer

Thank you, Mandy. That is very kind of you.

We had a wonderful light show last night. A powerful thunderstorm to the south with lots of lightning lit up the sky in an impressive show of power. It was far off in the distance and the security lights of the city prevented me from taking a photo. (So I stole one.)

I have always been fascinated by lightning. As a child, it frightened me. My father, an Electronics Engineer, tried to explain what it was to me. Six-year-old me didn't understand anything he was saying. My mother stepped in and told me that lightning is a crack in the sky, and if you look quickly you might catch a glimpse of heaven.

Many years later, I learned that lightning travels at 200,000,000 mph. It is up to five times hotter than the surface of the Sun. When it strikes a tree, the heat instantly vaporizes the water in the wood converting it to steam. The steam cannot escape that quickly, thus exploding the tree. It is so hot that the ionized air is converted to plasma, which is neither solid, liquid, or gas. It takes 30,000 volts for electricity to arc one centimeter, or about 75,000 volts to arc one inch. The awesome power of lightning is mind-boggling.

(https://i.imgur.com/52Ujgt7.jpeg)

[God said] ... "and from the gleam of my eye the lightning received its wonderful nature, which is both fire in water and water in fire, and one does not put out the other, nor does the one dry up the other, therefore the lightning is brighter than the sun, softer than water and firmer than hard rock."

~ The Book of the Secrets of Enoch II, Chapter 29, XXIX, verse 1. (circa 300 - 200 BC)

Lightning is so cool. Natures fireworks. Having been in close proximity to strikes on many occasions really gives on an appreciation of the true power.

Good old Enock ,taken for a trip by aliens (if you believe the ancient alien lot )

Quote from: Gina P on June 18, 2024, 12:41:15 PMLightning is so cool. Natures fireworks. Having been in close proximity to strikes on many occasions really gives on an appreciation of the true power.

So true!

When I was a sophomore in high school living in New York State, I was on the second floor looking out my bedroom window. A large oak tree in the neighbor's yard across the street was struck by a huge bolt of lightning. The light was blinding and the thunder so loud and instant that I thought a bomb had gone off. The tree was split right in half.

The next day, my dad and I were looking at the tree. You could see all the grain of the wood inside. He pointed to it and said, "That proves it! Trees are made out of boards." < Dad joke >

Quote from: davina61 on June 18, 2024, 12:44:02 PMGood old Enock ,taken for a trip by aliens (if you believe the ancient alien lot )

I'm not convinced it was aliens, but "the Lord works in mysterious ways".

Enoch is my favorite Old Testament character. One of the unsung heroes of the Bible. I think he got a raw deal.

Think about it. In recorded history, only three people have ascended ("were taken by God"). Enoch, Elijah, and Jesus. Of those three, Enoch and Elijah did not experience death. Enoch was a holy man, described as one who "walked with God" and is mentioned in the Bible only a few times in passing.

There should be entire chapters dedicated to him. The only other Old Testament figure who "walked with God" was Adam and he got a lot more press than poor old Enoch.  ;D

One of my double-barrel rock tumblers is dying a slow and noisy death. I thought the noise was coming from the rollers, so I oiled up the bearings but it was still noisy. Yesterday, I shut it down and did a better examination and it seems the noise is coming from a bearing on the motor shaft. Not a problem, I just oiled that too and the noise quieted down.

This morning, the noise is back. Shut it down again, and the sound may be coming from the electric motor. I got out the canned air and blasted the carbon dust out of the armature housing. Then, I oiled all the bearings again, but this time I flooded them to flush out dust or debris.

By this afternoon the noise was driving me bonkers. I logged on to The Tumbler's Bench and ordered a new motor. They had pairs of sealed motor bearings on sale so I grabbed two pair. This evening I received an email that the parts have already shipped! Now that is quality service.

By this weekend, I will be doing a complete rebuild of this rock tumbler. If I kept the box and the receipt I could have returned it. My experience with rock tumblers has been that you get another faulty one in exchange. But if you buy the parts from a third party and rebuild the machine yourself, it seems to last much longer.

I rebuilt the National Geographic (made in China) single-barrel machine in the same way. I replaced the ball bearings with sealed motor bearings and replaced the motor with a slow-speed, high-torque motor. It has been running smoothly 24/7 for almost a year.

If you want something done right, sometimes you just have to do it yourself.

The weather forecast calls for 79 degrees and rain. It is 70 now and not a cloud in the sky.

I got a text message from USPS that my rock tumbler parts will not be here until Monday. The tumblers have been running on an extended cycle waiting. Normally, I run each cycle for seven days. Beyond that, the abrasive grit breaks down to where it is ineffective. This is day eleven, so I'll go ahead and clean them out, set the rocks aside, and wait til Monday when I can rebuild Tumbler #2.

If the rain doesn't show up, I might be able to get out to the creek tomorrow. My sluice box is begging for attention. If it rains today, it should clear up enough that I can do some rockhounding elsewhere.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ... A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; ... " ~ Ecclesiastes 3:5

 ;D

Hi Lori,

When I was growing up, I got a rock tumbler for Christmas. My father bought several more and it was more like his hobby. I was turning into a teen and trying to figure out my confused life, like these different gender feelings! I am nearing retirement and your posts have me thinking about just maybe buying a rock tumbler!

A couple of the name-brand tumbler companies have gone out of business or have been bought out by other companies, so the availability of the good ones and parts can be limited.

Avoid the National Geographic brand as they are known to have issues. Lortone is top of the line but the company was bought out. The new company promises to have production back up by this summer.

Thumler is another good one. A lot of people on the Rock Tumbling forums have them and love them. One of the forum Admins has about ten or more of them.

Harbor Freight/Chicago Electric went out of business but some can still be found. I don't like them. They are noisy and generate a lot of heat. That is the model I am rebuilding.

I would recommend the Highland Park model. I have never used one, but they have good reviews on Rock Tumbling forums. Leegol is built almost identically so has good reviews as well.

The key is to go cheap at first until you get hooked like I did. You can always upgrade once you learn what you like or don't like. The forums have a lot of wonderfully helpful people for advice and troubleshooting.

The National Geographic has issues, but they have great customer service. If you get a bad one, they will replace it. I just got tired of having to replace it every few months and decided to rebuild it. It has been running for about nine months now with no issues. I am hoping to have similar success with the Harbor Freight/Chicago Electric.

@Kay226

Thank you Lori! I have a box of rocks from my father sitting next to my desk. I know that he wanted to tumble/polish them. Maybe I will get to them and then I will be hooked like my father and it took over most of his basement! I will definitely look at the brands that you recommend.

The rain finally arrived. Not much of a soaker, more like a few wet clouds. But off to the west, it looks like the Hills are getting hit. I don't know how much rain will fall overnight.

Tomorrow, I will head to the southern shore of the Badlands. I won't be far from the Fairburn Agate Beds. There are some areas I want to hunt that are not as picked over by tourists. With any luck, I may find the elusive Fairburn Agate. I have been looking since 2016 and have not found one yet.

It's going to hit 90 in the city tomorrow and I would rather be anywhere else. Except for Las Vegas. ;D

Back home in the air conditioning now. The forecast for today was 90, but now it says today it got to 86. It was an hour-and-a-half drive out to the "spot" and I had the a/c cranked the whole time. I parked in the shade. We got in the creek as quickly as possible. Instead of refreshingly cool, it was like bath water. WTH?

I could have just gotten in the bathtub. It has less algae and leeches, and almost less fish poop. We were pulling rocks off the bottom of the creek — nothing to write about. The day became more about playing in the water.

Got back to the WHITE Jeep with sunscreen in the windshield and back windows blacked out, and parked in the shade.

(https://i.imgur.com/Gzf21z6.jpg)

Tomorrow's forecast calls for 88... so I guess that means 108?

Oh and on the way there, we normally stop at a small local truck stop/convenience store for a potty break and to grab some sandwiches for lunch later. Over the intercom, they were piping in Musak and this song came on. It is now stuck in my head and my Bestie and I have been humming it all day.

It is quite an affirming song, so sing along:


Overall, not a bad day.

Dear LoriDee:
I am glad that you had fun playing in the creek in the warm water with
the algae and leeches.... I am fairly certain that you got a nice
shower or a clean bath when you arrived back home.

So sorry to read about the high temperatures there...   for me where I live
this early morning started out at 44 degrees(f) and got up to 66 degrees(f). 
Tomorrow on Monday it may get up to into the low 70's ... plenty warm
enough for me.

Thank you for keeping me and the rest of your avid followers updated
with you life adventures.

HUGS, and more HUGS,
Danielle

I just witnessed the dangedest thing. I was outside talking with a neighbor and the birds were screeching really loud. It seemed to be coming from all directions. There were two Meadowlarks up on the peak of the roof and a Grackle a short distance away from them. Sparrows and Robins were in the trees. There was a Prairie Falcon perched up on one of the parking lot security lights. The smaller birds kept flying at him screeching, and dive-bombing him trying to scare him off. The falcon is much bigger and just watched them flying around like it didn't bother him.

That is the first time I have ever seen several different species working together to scare away a predator. The Falcon doesn't eat birds. He was probably looking for mice. The other birds don't eat mice, but they don't want him in their territory.

New medications arrived today. I have an appointment tomorrow morning so a nurse can show me how to do injections without stabbing myself in the eye.  ;D

Parts arrived for the rock tumbler rebuild. The motor is wired slightly differently (2-wires instead of 3), but it is an AC circuit so easy enough to figure out. Got the motor replaced and it runs nice and quietly. Went to replace the bearings on the rollers. Hmmm, no bearings. It has plastic bushings that the rollers turn inside of. I pulled the end cap off and it is just a snap-ring keeping the roller from sliding and the end cap was packed in grease.

The User Manual says to oil the rollers periodically with a light sewing machine oil. That is just wrong. Lightweight oil would dilute the thick grease and provide no benefit at all. Like I said, you have to do it yourself sometimes. I pulled the end caps, cleaned them up, repacked them with Vaseline, and replaced them. Everything is working just fine.

Tomorrow sometime I'll refill the barrels and start another batch of rocks on their way to beautiful polished glory.

The nurse appointment went well this morning. Did my first injection under supervision and didn't even feel it!

Afterward, we were talking about disability claims. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with a County VSO (Veteran Service Officer) to talk about filing additional claims. My nurse said she recently filed a claim for the same reasons and it got denied. She is in the process of a higher review. She said tinnitus is becoming harder to claim under some new rules that I am not aware of. But with hearing loss and tinnitus, I should have a better chance. So tomorrow's outfit will include earrings and my VA-issued hearing aids. Hard to deny hearing loss or any other claim when it was the VA that diagnosed it. They just say that it isn't service-connected. Really? I lived on a tank for almost 15 years and it isn't service-connected? Huh? What? Can you speak up, please?

I got the rock tumblers refilled and rolling again. I decided to take a look at the old motor to see if I could figure out what went bad on it. As I manually turn the motor shaft, I can feel it catch sometimes, like there is a burr or debris in the bearings.

Wait...

Motor bearings. They come in a set of two. I'm looking at the motor and it has two bearing housings. Duh. I found where the bearings go! Some days I feel extra blonde.  ;D

Wait, you didn't live on one of those QUIET tanks? I am pretty sure I read about those... 🤔

Sorry you have to deal with all that bullshoot. It takes a lot of strength to not lose your focus and just keep plowing forward in a system designed to make you give up.

Love,
Allie

The loudest part is the gunfire when shooting the main cannon. 105mm shells go big boom. But the part that affects tankers the most is the squeak from the tracks when moving. It causes high-frequency hearing loss. When I first filed for VA disability (1990), the VSO at the American Legion told me that this would not be covered. The VA's position was that it was preventable. Whoever made that decision never wore earplugs while wearing a communications helmet. It can't be done. The squeaks and booms come right through the intercom.

Since then, the VA has changed its position. I spoke with the VA Director of Public Affairs for this area and he told me to file a claim. He said it would get approved. So... fingers crossed.

Quote from: LoriDee on June 25, 2024, 04:46:07 PMThe loudest part is the gunfire when shooting the main cannon. 105mm shells go big boom. But the part that affects tankers the most is the squeak from the tracks when moving. It causes high-frequency hearing loss. When I first filed for VA disability (1990), the VSO at the American Legion told me that this would not be covered. The VA's position was that it was preventable. Whoever made that decision never wore earplugs while wearing a communications helmet. It can't be done. The squeaks and booms come right through the intercom.

Since then, the VA has changed its position. I spoke with the VA Director of Public Affairs for this area and he told me to file a claim. He said it would get approved. So... fingers crossed.

It doesn't go without saying, so I'm going to say it:

Thank you for your service. That all is unimaginably and utterly terrifying to me.

My sister works with Vets returning mostly from Iraq and Afghanistan... as they try to reintegrate and pursue a college degree. She's dealt with so many cases of PTSD, and some suicides... but met so many wonderful, brave and amazing people. To not take care of our veterans is a great shame.

I worked with bae systems for about 2 years. I was a tester/fixer of armoured vehicles the factory was producing for its military contracts. There was a time where I drove nothing but the new ACV for the Marine corps and the armys Bradley's, ampv, and the cat ammunition hauler and the mobile howitzer.

It was mandatory we had to use double hearing protection when driving or in the vehicles while driving. Which made it very difficult to ensure the comms and radios were working while driving. Although I don't ever remember having to do hearing tests while working for them.

The Army went through a phase where they became fanatics about hearing protection. We were required to wear a set of earplugs in a case on our uniform to ensure we had them. We didn't wear them in the tank, relying instead on the CVC helmet. But just mechanicking in the motor pool we would wear them.

If a hearing test showed you had hearing loss, you had to wear the double protection like you described. Insertable ear plugs with the headset "cans" over your ears. That was a PITA. We figured out how to cheat on the tests. Whenever the hearing test machine would send a tone, a light would come on. We would watch for the light in reflections on the tester's glasses, or if facing away from them, in a window or glass picture frame. Then it was just a matter of clicking the button every time we saw the light. Amazing how our unit seems to have no hearing loss and never had to wear those awful earplugs.

Of course, now, that will come back and bite me because my medical records won't show hearing loss, and I could be denied that claim. We will see what the outcome is.

Spent today helping a friend. The passenger electric window on her car wouldn't stay up. We ripped the door panel off (after consulting YouTube on how to do it). The regulator is working, and the glass is intact but the regulator won't hold the window closed. Rain is in the forecast and she lives in a "not nice" part of town.

She has a walk-in appointment at Tires Plus for tomorrow morning. I loaned her a tarp to cover the window just in case. She planned to go with me tomorrow to a new site I want to scout. But it will be just me.

It is a little over an hour's drive, so I will be AFK most of tomorrow (if it doesn't rain). I'll have to bring my selfie stick so I can share some pics of Lori Dee in the wilds.  ;D

Today was a great day. I had planned to drive to Conata Basin for some rockhounding but changed my mind at the last minute. Instead, I drove to Railroad Buttes. It is a lot closer to home and I haven't been there yet. It is just south of the Badlands, so the terrain is similar.

(https://i.imgur.com/NWrQLda.jpeg)

I found a Prickly Pear (aka Beaver Tail) cactus in full bloom. The flowers were full of bees so I kept my distance. It is looking pretty gnarly but it is the first one I have seen in bloom this year, so I'm sharing it. Deal with it.

(https://i.imgur.com/HWhnLcY.jpeg)

It was very windy and more than a couple of times I thought the wind was going to blow me right off the cliff. I didn't overdo it, afraid I might twist a knee and be laid up for a week. No, thank you.

I found a nice outcrop of some rocks that I had never seen before. They are thin like pieces of glass, and even clink when you bang them together. I thought they might be Calcite but testing them indicates they are quartz and I have never seen quartz in this form. [EDIT: a local rock hound told me this stuff is chalcedony.]

(https://i.imgur.com/lDhF9fX.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/fpip2T6.jpeg)

Some other cool ones that we call "signers". That means they have signs (patterns) of the rare Fairburn Agate, but are not quite gem quality enough to be called a Fairburn.

(https://i.imgur.com/boUMkac.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/8cX549o.jpeg)

Then to top off the day, this:

(https://i.imgur.com/jnKiNG9.jpeg)

When you see stones like that you can certainly understand where the passion comes from. They're really cool and interesting... and there's things like that out there just WAITING for you to find them!

I think that is why I love being out in Nature so much. Discovering things that have been around for thousands, if not millions of years. I was 60 years old before I finally saw a mink in the wild. I have seen pictures or seen them in zoos. Then one day, I looked up from my gold pan and there he was running along the far side of the creek.

When things like that happen, I thank the Creator for giving me that experience. There are people around the world who have never seen one, or a real gold nugget or have ever smelled the pineapple/vanilla scent of a Jeffrey Pine. I try to be grateful.

Speaking of Mother Nature (that b*tch). ;D  We had a storm blow through here and lightning hit a transformer. Our power is back on now, but people over in Custer are still in the dark. The energy company here is fantastic. They know how we freak out when we don't have internet and are forced to talk to each other.

Now I have to go around re-setting the time on all my clocks.

There are two kinds of people that I cannot tolerate: liars and thieves.

I have a neighbor who lives down the hall from me. She is the sweetest person you would ever meet. She is a widow and has trouble walking due to knee replacements. She is a Gold Star mom. Her son served in the Navy. When he got out, he decided he didn't like all that water and joined the Army. He served in Iraq and Afghanistan and was killed in action.

Last night, at 2:45 a.m. two low-life A-holes, broke into her car and stole it. She has a handicap placard and her license plates indicate a Gold Star Family. She is devastated. The property is monitored with video cameras so we know when and how many there were that did this.

For people like this, I would vote to bring back firing squads. People like this make it very difficult for me to remain "ladylike".

(https://i.imgur.com/lqYgcEG.jpeg)

Quote from: LoriDee on June 30, 2024, 10:22:51 PMToday was a great day. I had planned to drive to Conata Basin for some rockhounding but changed my mind at the last minute. Instead, I drove to Railroad Buttes. It is a lot closer to home and I haven't been there yet. It is just south of the Badlands, so the terrain is similar.

(https://i.imgur.com/NWrQLda.jpeg)

I found a Prickly Pear (aka Beaver Tail) cactus in full bloom. The flowers were full of bees so I kept my distance. It is looking pretty gnarly but it is the first one I have seen in bloom this year, so I'm sharing it. Deal with it.

(https://i.imgur.com/HWhnLcY.jpeg)

It was very windy and more than a couple of times I thought the wind was going to blow me right off the cliff. I didn't overdo it, afraid I might twist a knee and be laid up for a week. No, thank you.

I found a nice outcrop of some rocks that I had never seen before. They are thin like pieces of glass, and even clink when you bang them together. I thought they might be Calcite but testing them indicates they are quartz and I have never seen quartz in this form. [EDIT: a local rock hound told me this stuff is chalcedony.]

(https://i.imgur.com/lDhF9fX.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/fpip2T6.jpeg)

Some other cool ones that we call "signers". That means they have signs (patterns) of the rare Fairburn Agate, but are not quite gem quality enough to be called a Fairburn.

(https://i.imgur.com/boUMkac.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/8cX549o.jpeg)

Then to top off the day, this:

(https://i.imgur.com/jnKiNG9.jpeg)

Very nice pictures!

Chrissy

Good news!

My neighbor whose car was stolen recently has her car back! She asked me to show her how to install a Club on her steering wheel.

They left the car parked in front of a house, out of gas. The tank was full when they stole it. The property manager and I reviewed the security video. Three of them, one no bigger than a school-age child. They looked at several vehicles in the lot before choosing hers. They used a Slim Jim to get in and drove off. They also took about $10 in quarters and a sweater from the vehicle.

Who steals little old lady's sweaters?

These criminal masterminds left behind a lot of chewed gum and a ski mask. The police now have their DNA as well as the security footage.

The police said nine cars were stolen in the first two days of July.

I need to find a better place to live.

Quote from: LoriDee on July 06, 2024, 05:01:49 PMI need to find a better place to live.

OR you need to go full Robocop and electrify the outer shell of your car... ;)

Or one of those South African security car flame throwers, throws flames out from under the doors to stop car jackers!!!!!

Quote from: Sephirah on July 06, 2024, 06:05:54 PMOR you need to go full Robocop and electrify the outer shell of your car... ;)

Quote from: davina61 on July 07, 2024, 02:48:46 AMOr one of those South African security car flame throwers, throws flames out from under the doors to stop car jackers!!!!!

The neighbor said she couldn't see her parking spot from her apartment. She needs to go to the laundry room to look out. She is now parked next to my Jeep because a) I can see both vehicles from my living room window, and b) I have a rifle with a scope.  ;D

I have a cargo rack on top of my Jeep. In it is a 4-tine rake, a shovel, a folded tarp, and a gas can. There is a small plate on each side that I wanted to decorate, so I put a decal on that reads:

"Zombie Outbreak Response Team"

I came out of Walmart and a woman was looking at my cargo rack. She said she had no idea there was such a thing. I assured her that there is and we are highly trained for such matters.

She looked puzzled for a minute, then asked, "Should I be worried?"

I said, "No, we got this covered."

She smiled and walked into the store.

I ordered another parts kit to rebuild the bearings on one of my rock tumblers. It is a modification that will convert the plastic bushings to metal bearings. The package arrived at the UPS Hub in Rapid City on July 4th... still waiting. The latest tracking update shows it still there but the delivery date has been moved to "not later than July 10th".  ??? I think they lost it.

In the meantime, I have tumblers still rolling. They are now on day 12 of a seven-day cycle. My thought was to shut them all down at once and do the maintenance and rebuild at the same time. Running them longer won't hurt the ones in the smoothing and polishing phase. They just get smoother and shinier. But after seven days the grit breaks down and doesn't accomplish much.

On the other hand, the Stage 1 tumbler has very coarse grit that aggressively shapes and rounds the stones. The grit still breaks down after seven days, but larger rocks start getting smaller. So it looks like I will be washing rocks this afternoon and let the tumblers sit idle while I wait for parts.

You know they have lost or it got pinched when you get the message damaged , had that on something that was "impossible" to damage!

I meet with my psychologist this morning to discuss... issues. Then take the stack of forms over to the County office for the Veteran Service Officer. He will then be submitting a VA claim to have my disability rating reviewed. He told me that since my existing claim (spinal injuries) is over 20 years old, the VA cannot reduce my rating. It can only be increased, so I have nothing to lose to have it re-evaluated. Many VA regulations and policies have been changed since 1990, so the review will follow current guidelines. We will see how it goes.

Good luck with the VA, Lori

I got a call this afternoon from my Veteran Service Officer. He has all the paperwork and is submitting my claims today. Over the next three months, they will pull copies of my military and VA records, schedule exams, and then submit their findings to the Compensation Board for a determination of ratings for each claim. He assured me that if I disagreed with any of the findings, he would help me submit an appeal to have the decisions reviewed. The good news is that even if they decide to disapprove all of the claims, my current claim is untouchable since it is over 20 years old. So my rating cannot go down, only up or no change.

So now it is just wait and see.

On the other side, reporting things that happened to me while in the service opened up a box of things I had buried for 50 years. I am dealing with that and I have a great psychologist to guide me through those triggers. Even if the claims process fails, at least I will be able to deal with some old scars and become a happier person. It is still a win.

I was sorting laundry and found a lighter in my pocket. I keep my lighters in my vehicle. I figured I would take my pre-bedtime walk and put it back where it belongs.

I stepped off the elevator and a man asked me if I had a lighter. I handed it to him and he said I saved the party. He invited me inside where friends and family were gathered around a cake waiting to sing "Happy Birthday". Introductions were made all around.

We lit the candles and sang "Happy Birthday", (they sang in Spanish), and everyone applauded as she blew out the candles. The party broke up as it was getting late and everyone said thank you for the use of my lighter. I was happy to be of service and I got invited to a birthday party and I don't know any of the people there. Win!

Sometimes, it's little twists of fate that can make me smile.

@LoriDee
Dear LoriDee:
Thank you for sharing and posting that "feel good" story regarding your lighter and "saving" the Birthday party.

That was a great example of things that we do, even little things, can have a bigger impact on other lives, plus
it give you a wonderful feeling of helping another person in their time of need.

Yes, there is great importance and impactful results that can come out of "chance" meetings and unexpected circumstances. 

Again, thank you for sharing.
HUGS, Danielle

It is already 88 degrees at 9:00 a.m.

Technically, Rapid City is not "in" the Black Hills but is the "gateway to the Black Hills" similar to the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains in northern Colorado. At an elevation of 3,356 feet above sea level, we are not exactly "flatlanders" either. The highest point in South Dakota is just a short distance to the southwest of here.

Here's a fun fact:

At 7,242 feet, Black Elk Peak — previously known as Harney Peak — isn't just the highest point in South Dakota. It's the highest elevation between the Rocky Mountains in the western United States and the Pyrenees Mountains in France.

Happy Friday, Everyone!

Hi LoriDee.  I am finally getting caught up on your blog.  Now I understand that you are a serious rock hound and where you live makes sense.  I hope your VA appeal worked for you and I am glad that they can't reduce your benefits.

I hope the heat isn't too brutal.

@Emma1017

While growing up, I collected pretty rocks. Later I home-schooled myself in Geology. I came here to South Dakota to mine gold. (Did you check out my website?) I encountered some pretty cool rocks in that process, so I brought them home.

Lately, my spinal injuries have been preventing me from doing the heavy lifting of gold mining. Rockhounding is so much fun, so started polishing them. Now I am trying to learn how to make jewelry because it does not involve shoveling heavy wet gravel.

There is an option that I am exploring. My mining buddy and I were discussing that we are getting too old for this. Jokingly, she suggested we hire a couple of shirtless young studs to do the heavy digging for us, while we sit in the shade sipping iced tea.  :icon_idea:

But neither one of us wants to reveal our site location. And how do you vet someone to be sure that they won't go back and fill their own pockets? We have a couple of ideas that we are kicking around. No decisions yet.

Lori, rock hunting sounds like a lot of fun. I definitely want to try it some time. It's not easy to do here in NYC.

My cousin is a rock hound and he lives in Kansas.  He once teased me because I lived in crowded NYC and I reminded him that I have the entire Atlantic Ocean at my doorstep to explore.  I have been scuba diving since I was sixteen.  I get to bring back the occasional lobster and mussels.  No cool rocks though.

@Emma1017

I think the problem with NYC is all the rocks are buried under concrete and asphalt.  ;D

Maybe if you get some time to get out in the country you could find some cool-looking rocks.

When I wade through creeks and I find stones, I take some home to crack them.  Most have a empty center full of crystals.  Rather cool. 

Chrissy

Those are called "geodes", and yes they are very cool. I have never found one yet. Here there are a few places where they are found, but they are not close by.

I read somewhere about lots of them being found in creeks. I'm not sure where that was. I want to say Georgia or someplace in the South. Are y'all a suthern gal, Chrissy?  ;D

So today has been "interesting" so far.

Last week, the property manager was away meeting with corporate execs in Minnesota. While away, one of the "problem" families decided they could be extra annoying to the other tenants in the apartment building. I corrected them (more than once) and thought I would address the issue with the property manager when she returned. Then the male tenant, with a child in tow, decided to knock on my door and threaten me at 2:00 a.m.

This morning, the property manager, a witness, and I spent several hours reviewing security video of each of the incidents. She took down our statements, spoke with other tenants who had complained to her via text message, and began writing up her reports.

That household has had numerous complaints to property management, the police, and Child Protective Services. This led to property management declining to renew their lease. The issues continued, so the manager issued them an eviction notice. They were to be gone by the end of the month. Now, they are getting a three-day notice to evacuate.

Our manager has extensive experience managing properties in "not-so-nice neighborhoods" and does not take these things lightly. We are blessed to have her.

Quote from: LoriDee on July 14, 2024, 08:47:58 PMThose are called "geodes", and yes they are very cool. I have never found one yet. Here there are a few places where they are found, but they are not close by.

I read somewhere about lots of them being found in creeks. I'm not sure where that was. I want to say Georgia or someplace in the South. Are y'all a suthern gal, Chrissy? ;D

No, not really but I enjoy the south.  I specially enjoy the west and coastal areas.  Those do not have to be at oceans or seas, they can be by lakes.

Chrissy

The parts I ordered online to rebuild one of my rock tumblers got lost somewhere at the UPS hub here in town. The tracking number shows it is still at the hub as of July 4th. The seller shipped out a replacement order and that arrived yesterday evening.

I am thinking of doing a step-by-step tutorial in case other rock hounds are interested in doing the same. A video would be too long, so I may just take photos of each step and mark them with arrows to highlight that step.

QuoteThen the male tenant, with a child in tow, decided to knock on my door and threaten me at 2:00 a.m.

Yikes! Scary. I'll be glad when he's gone and I pity the people of wherever he's going.

Hi Lori, I must tell you I am intrigued with mining.  I have never done any.  But I became very interested in it as I became a fan of Gold Rush.  I believe It is a much larger scale than your mining operation, but gold mining still fascinates me.

Gwen

@gwenf369

Hi Gwen,

Yes, my operation is WAAAYY smaller. It's just me and one other gal. She is the perfect gold mining partner. She has no interest in gold whatsoever. She likes pretty rocks and volunteered to screen the gravel for me. Our agreement is that she can keep anything she finds on the screens. Once she hands the buckets over to me, it's all mine! We joke about what if she finds a HUGE gold nugget in the screens. I say a deal is a deal and it is all hers. But we both know she would give it to me and I would take her shopping.  ;D

I have written several articles about gold mining (placer mining, not hard rock mining) and they are on my website, if you want to learn some details they don't explain on TV. I have a photo album too so you can see what I have collected over the years. The link is the blue earth icon in my bio. Enjoy!

I enjoy watching Aussie gold hunters on TV, all small scale stuff mostly. Sometimes they find ounce chunks but a lot is flakes/5 gram nuggets and they do wet and dry wash ,lots of very fine stuff.

I think that Lori's favorite genre of music must be ROCK music.

Sorry for poking my nose in but... wow. As Terry Pratchett would say: "We live in interesting times." Damn girl. You are one of the world's optimists. I think I understand you more now.

We need more people like you in the world.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on July 18, 2024, 07:21:20 PMI think that Lori's favorite genre of music must be ROCK music.

Classic Rock... well, what they called Classic rock in the 90s... so Old Rock.  ;D

@Sephirah

I do try to always be positive. It isn't easy, I have my struggles the same as most people. There are choices that we can make. Even when the odds are against us and things seem impossible, I CHOOSE to believe there is another way. I choose to be happy. The Great Spirit has never failed me and never will. No matter what is happening around me, I try to remember that "this too shall pass". That's just me.  :)

Is a very good way to be. And it bleeds through to others.

Same as me dear, things might pee me off but it never lasts. I trust in the universe/spirit in the sky/what ever to see me right. Be nice to folk and they will be nice back, a smile goes a long way.

I finished rebuilding one of my rock tumblers. It is running smooth and quiet now. Tomorrow I'll clean out the tumbler that's been running for a week, then reload all five barrels and start another cycle.

I was taking some tools back downstairs to my Jeep. As I was getting off the elevator, two young boys crowded on so I had to squeeze by them. (No sense of etiquette taught in that household). The older one (maybe 10 years old), is the one who came with his dad at 2 am to threaten me. I didn't say anything and just stepped off the elevator (a "lift" for our gals across the pond).

As the elevator doors were closing this brat yelled out, "B*tch!"

At least he got my gender correct.

He will be gone soon. They received their eviction notice. Good riddance.

Last week I received a notice from my credit card company stating an app subscription had been renewed for $31.85. I checked the app and it shows my renewal date as August 2 for $39.99. I no longer use the app, so I canceled the subscription and contacted support to refund the charge.

I received an email from support that they do not process subscription payments, third parties handle those and I should contact Apple. I log into my Apple account and it shows the subscription is canceled and would have renewed on August 2. Last year, my credit card was charged $39.99 on August 2 for the annual subscription. So why was I charged in July this year and only $31.85?

I contacted my credit card company and it shows the charge as GOOGLE <app name>. I deleted my Google account years ago and made sure there were no subscriptions before I did. I never gave Google any payment information. Ever. So I have submitted a dispute on the charge and noted possible fraud.

The credit card rep (who speaks English well, but her accent was so heavy I could hardly understand her), said they would credit my account and it is up to the billing merchant to prove the charge was authorized.

Exactly how I planned to spend my Sunday morning. [/sarcasm]

Woke up this morning coughing and sneezing. The Air Quality Index is in the "Unhealthy" category due to wildfires in Montana and Wyoming. I used the Flonase my doctors gave me and waited a couple of hours while doing laundry. It didn't work. The wildfires are still burning and the Black Hills are still covered in smoke.

The Air Quality Index is still in the Unhealthy category. "Everyone may experience health effects." Please don't breathe our unhealthy air. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Yikes, Lori.

So here is an interesting mental journey.

I've been very concerned about the political climate here in the US of A. With the upcoming elections, the country is quite divided on issues that mean so much to us. If you watched the RNC Convention coverage, you saw the animosity being directed squarely at us.

So what do we do to protect ourselves from the "powers that be"? Do we migrate to Canada, Mexico, or California? Can we claim asylum?

That led me to an interesting website that I will link below. (Don't look yet) Here is some information gleaned from that website:

Can You Claim Asylum Based on Being a Persecuted LGBTQ+ Person?

If you have been persecuted or have a well-founded fear of future persecution because you are LGBTQ+, you could have a claim for asylum

... courts have found sexual orientation to be a recognizable social group, saying that homosexuals and transgender people constitute a social group for purposes of claiming asylum. Some early decisions on this include Matter of Toboso-Alfonso, 20 I&N Dec. 819 (B.I.A. 1990), Pitcherskaia v. INS, 118 F.3d 641 (9th Cir. 1997), and Hernandez-Montiel v. INS, 225 F.3d 1084 (9th Cir. 2000)).

If you were loud and proud about your identity, such as volunteering for a gay rights group, leading a pride parade, or writing media articles or social media posts that were widely viewed, you could be viewed as having expressed a political opinion. If the authorities in your country viewed that opinion as offensive and persecuted you (or you reasonably fear they will do so in the future), that could be grounds for an asylum claim.

... submit information to show that homosexuals and/or transgender persons are persecuted in your country. ... submit copies of any laws, reports of incidents in newspapers, or statistics compiled by organizations.

Interesting, no?

These are the rules and laws governing people seeking asylum IN THE UNITED STATES.
The problem is that you must apply for asylum within one year of entering the country. I am six decades too late.

The website that has this information is: Nolo.com Legal Encyclopedia (https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/claiming-asylum-based-sexual-orientation.html)

I had a couple of appointments at the local VA clinic this morning. I have had trouble with my lower back for decades, but lately, it seems to be affecting my walk. I messaged my doctor and she ordered a bone study survey.

They took x-rays of my lower back, then the radiologist said he was going to do a "leg length survey". I assured him that both of my legs go all the way down to my feet with no gaps and do not protrude out the bottoms. He said he had to humor the doctors and do it anyway, and since he forgot his tape measure they would just use this expensive x-ray equipment instead.

Fair enough.

My sister has one leg shorter, Gran could not work out why the skirt she was making would not fit right till they measured her. She has a twisted spine as well but it has not affected her.

We had a partial power outage yesterday. The local power company that we nicknamed Black Hills Flicker & Flash reported that 174 households were affected. I think they lost one phase because many parts of the building were unaffected. In my apartment, the TV was on, and the lights in the kitchen, but the stove, microwave, bedroom, and A/C were out. Power was restored within the hour but my A/C just blows warm air. Put in a maintenance request first thing this morning.

The outside air is still rated as "Unhealthy" due to smoke from wildfires in Montana and Wyoming. The forecast calls for 100 degrees today. It is 80 degrees in my apartment while just out in the hall the air is quite cold. So I have my air purifier running in my doorway pulling cold air from the hall into my apartment.

So now I wait.

It seems like I am always waiting for someone else to do their job so I can get on with my life.
< sigh >

Yesterday:

(https://i.imgur.com/Z5rTxsD.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/ssnZOoa.jpeg)

Again today:

(https://i.imgur.com/o30DkH9.jpeg)

I found where I used to work that in the summer the traffic fumes made my breathing tight, not helped as the narrow road  had tall buildings along it and on a bus route to bus station. Take the bus they say and save pollution, the diesel bus chuck out more fumes than the cars!!

@davina61

That is sort of what happens here. Rapid City sits in a valley. From May - October is terrorist, oops I mean TOURIST season. So more traffic, high heat, and the fumes just sit until we get wind. Now, the wind coming from the northwest is bringing in all the smoke from the wildfires and that just adds to the mix.

We are learning to not breathe from May to October.  ;D

I ended up fixing the air conditioning myself. It was 83 degrees inside and a fan did not seem to help. I did a "technician's reset", which is turning off the thermostat and then the circuit breakers to kill power to the unit. Waited ten minutes then powered it back on and nice cold air started blowing. Yay!
One of the other residents, also a veteran, did the same thing and got her's working. A technician showed up the next morning and got everyone else's units working too.

The car thieves who stole my neighbor's car came back to try again. They were seen last Wednesday and again last night. My next-door neighbor is a security guard at a local hotel. He was coming home from work, saw them, and chased them off. We had an emergency session of our Resident Council and have asked management to have more cameras installed covering the lot and to do a security audit to make sure all cameras work and can clearly see all parts of the lot.

Additionally, we have formed a Community Watch. Two of us veterans, the security guard, and another resident who is built like a linebacker, have volunteered to patrol the parking lot in shifts. We are no longer interested in scaring them away. Our goal is to apprehend at least one of the three and get them to rat out the other two. These are teenagers (about 15 years old) and one is considerably younger.

The local police and Sheriff's dept are busy with the Sturgis Rally which starts on the 2nd. So there are no extra patrols that could watch our lot. However, we have officially deemed ourselves a Community Watch group, and the police have been notified that we are patrolling our property, we are authorized to apprehend and make a Citizen's Arrest. Once we apprehend any of them an officer will be dispatched immediately to take them into custody.

We are done playing games with these morons. Time to show them some "Tough Love".

Last night was another "insomniac" event, so I took extra long walks through the parking lot. At 1:30 or so I was going downstairs and my neighbor who had her car stolen was using her walker to go to the laundry room. She said she wanted to look out the window and check on her car. She had been sitting in her car for a couple of hours before she went upstairs to her apt. I told her to go get some sleep and I will watch her car for her.

I was walking in the parking lot when "Linebacker" and his wife came home from the movies. We chatted for a bit to discuss if there was any suspicious activity. Then the wife drove her dad home since he had been babysitting to give them a night out. When she returned, we chatted a bit more and then she started looking past my shoulder behind me. I turned around and two teenagers were walking through the parking lot.

The female had a hoodie on and was holding it up to cover her face. A younger male was walking with her dressed completely in black and wearing a ski mask. I tried to stop them and question them (with video recording on) but they kept walking. So I followed them and then they broke into a run and I stayed right on their heels. I let them get a little ahead of me so they would think they outran me and I followed them right to their apartment building.

The video isn't great because I was walking fast/running after them. But I was able to grab a single frame that shows Mr. Ski Mask. The people who stole my neighbor's car wore all black and ski masks to conceal their faces from the security cameras.

So now I am waiting for our Property Manager to wake up so I can send her the video and photo. Then she will review all of the security cameras to see if we can ID the suspects. Interestingly, she has access to the apt building where they went. They are without a manager currently and she helps out there with inspections and such. If they have cameras at that building we will have more evidence to hand over to the detective that is investigating the car theft.

Now, I need more coffee.

Our Property Manager has been helping out over at that other apartment building while they hire a new manager. So she has Manager Access there. She now has video footage of these kids entering their building (still wearing the ski mask) and walking down the hall showing their faces. By lunchtime, she will know who they are. She is also checking video footage from Wednesday and Friday there and here to confirm it is the same people who tried to steal the car a second and third time.

Once she has all the evidence compiled, she is going to file trespass charges against them. If it turns out they are the same ones who stole the car, they will be spending adolescence behind bars. Grand Theft Auto is not just a video game. It is also a felony with a 5-years and thousands of dollars price tag.

Lori God created tequila for such moments.  ;D

By the way there are some really great rocks in Manhattan in a place called Tiffany's.  They won't let me prospect there sadly....

A friend of mine owns an accounting business and was teaching me how to do tax returns. His advice was, "You can do anything until they tell you that you can't."

I will be visiting Tiffany's with a rock pick and gold pan.  ;D

@Lori Dee
Dear Lori:
Here is my unsolicited and more than likely unwanted comment reply.... 
...you really want to be as careful as you can when you submit your tax work. 
You really do not want the IRS to write you letters regarding your tax filing and
submission errors.  If that happens enough, you will eventually end up on a list of
audit possibilities and receive more and undesired scrutiny for future tax submissions.

From your CPA Forum friend...  :)
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Lori Dee on July 27, 2024, 02:24:36 PMA friend of mine owns an accounting business and was teaching me how to do tax returns. His advice was, "You can do anything until they tell you that you can't."

I will be visiting Tiffany's with a rock pick and gold pan.  ;D

That is very true. I was merely filling out the forms. All returns were reviewed by him before being submitted. So any errors or investigations fell on him, not the staff. His business, his e-file code, so his responsibility.

Sometimes I would have questions about a particular client's deduction or income and he would show me how to do it. Then he would say, "It's not what you say but how you say it."

For example, claiming home-based business deductions on Form 8829 vs claiming the exact same deductions on Schedule C. He had a tax attorney who worked in the office and was on an editorial board that reviews new regulations. The position we (his firm) took was that a business is a business regardless of what address is used. So why should Microsoft be able to use Schedule C but Joe Citizen must use an 8829 which offers a smaller return? So his accounting firm had the policy to never use an 8829 because it is not in the client's best interest.

I have been audited three times in my life and each time the examiner agreed with my position. The key is that the people doing the audits are not tax attorneys and are less familiar with tax law than someone like you who works in the industry. The bonus is that once audited, they cannot audit you again for the next three years. So you use that time to "stick it to the man" and recoup any losses suffered from the audit.

A sign in the waiting room read:
"It's ours, not theIRS!"  ;D

Your insight is never unwelcome, Danielle. I am grateful for your wisdom and guidance.

As a massively uneducated Brit, can I ask... does everyone in the US have to do their own taxes?

Quote from: Sephirah on July 27, 2024, 05:18:19 PMAs a massively uneducated Brit, can I ask... does everyone in the US have to do their own taxes?

@Sephirah
Dear Sephirah:
Doing our own individual taxes is an option HOWEVER for many Americans if their
taxes are more complex they can go to an online tax service like Turbo Tax or a
local tax preparation/CPA (Certified Public Accountant) such as my business.

A lot of Americans that have less complicated tax issues and can do it themselves
with the help of the IRS publications.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

@Sephirah

No. You can take your chances and not do them at all. Many people fear the government, but don't want to be bothered with doing "maths", so they hire accountants. But businesses like Danielle's also cater to businesses for income tax, sales tax, payroll taxes, and so forth. In that case, it pays to have a professional looking at your books to make sure you stay legal and maximize your return.

The issue is that it is a Tax Return. You paid taxes all year. The forms are to claim what you paid in that the government says you are entitled to receive back. People don't really understand that the government runs on money paid all year long by individuals and corporations. Filing the forms is just asking for your share to be returned. If you don't ask, you don't get anything.

It's like the example I gave Danielle. The question we posed to the tax attorney was: Is there any regulation that says you MUST file any particular form? The answer is NO. You do not have to file at all (as a citizen). Businesses work differently. But then you get no money back. You can file a simple 1040-EZ and be done quickly. But by doing that, you are not claiming many deductions that you might be entitled to, such as education or work-related expenses. Since there is no rule that I must file a Form 8829, I can skip that and claim my business expenses the way other businesses do on Schedule C. And when you do the math, your return is larger by doing it that way. I didn't know that until my friend showed me. We went back three years and filed amended returns using his method and I got back almost $6,000. That is when he asked me to come to work for him during peak tax season.

When I became disabled most of my income was tax exempt. But I do have a private disability pension that is taxable. So I would pay tax each year, then at the end of the year, claim it as disability income and they would send it back. About ten years ago I decided that I would rather keep the money in my pocket instead of giving it to the government to use without interest. So I stopped paying and stopped filing a return. Over the years the income threshold has changed so now that pension does not count as taxable because it is below the threshold.

@LoriDee
Dear Lori:
The IRS can audit you more often for specific issues...  in that case,
they are not limited to the 3 year rule.
The 3 year rule only applies to "random" audits and if the audit reveals
irregularities, you end up on the "scrutiny" list and can be audited again.

HUGS, Danielle

@Northern Star Girl

Ah yes, thank you. I forgot about that.
Yes, as in the case of suspected fraud.

One of the times I got audited, it turned out they were not even investigating me. They were investigating the owner of the business on some investment thing that he was only tangentially involved with. My account got flagged because I marked the form as "Self Prepared" but it was submitted with his e-file code. When I explained that I worked there and did my own return, they understood and left me alone. I still screwed them the following year because I was immune to random audits.  ;D

Thank you, both, for your explanations. That is very enlightening. See... in the UK, unless you're self employed, your employer takes care of all your taxes for you. In a scheme known as PAYE (Pay As You Earn). You literally don't even have to think about it. Your taxes are deducted from your wages each month before you even get them. You never even see a form or have to send anything to HMRC (our version of the IRS). For people working for someone else in the UK, the idea of doing their own taxes is utterly alien.

Quote from: Sephirah on July 27, 2024, 06:27:51 PMin the UK, unless you're self employed, your employer takes care of all your taxes for you. In a scheme known as PAYE (Pay As You Earn). You literally don't even have to think about it. Your taxes are deducted from your wages each month before you even get them. You never even see a form or have to send anything to HMRC (our version of the IRS). For people working for someone else in the UK, the idea of doing their own taxes is utterly alien.

Our taxes are deducted from our pay also. I think the difference is that we file a return to get some or all of the taxes back. Sounds like that is not the case there. Now, this only applies to Income Tax. Social Security tax is taken out of your pay and you don't get it back.
 

Quote from: Lori Dee on July 27, 2024, 09:19:32 PMOur taxes are deducted from our pay also. I think the difference is that we file a return to get some or all of the taxes back. Sounds like that is not the case there. Now, this only applies to Income Tax. Social Security tax is taken out of your pay and you don't get it back.

No that's not the case in the UK. No one in the employ of someone else ever has anything to do with HMRC. All our taxes are lumped into one thing. Income tax and National Insurance {which is the tax everyone in the UK pays to make sure our healthcare is free for everyone who needs it). Unless they send you a letter to say you've paid too much tax and they owe you. You never owe them. It's always the other way round, because we have here what's called "Emergency tax". It's what you pay when they can't work out how much you should actually be paying. So you pay the maximum amount while they work it all out. Then when they have, they give you back everything you've paid in excess.

OK, I understand now. Thanks.

The Bumblebee

I spent my morning meditations today, as I usually do, with a walk in Nature. I enjoy observing things that Nature provides for us and thinking about what we can learn from them.

This morning several bumblebees were working on flowers of some weeds that have grown quite tall. They seemed impervious to my close observation. They just went about their business, apparently without a care in the world. A smaller bee would attack the bumblebee to try to get it to leave the flower, but the bumblebee just shook it off and continued.

The bumblebee is an accepted part of Nature. It provides vital functions to the ecosystem. Sure, it has predators that will kill it. But it appears common knowledge that if you provoke it, you will suffer the consequences. And yet this bee repeatedly fended off the attacks by the other bee and just got on with living his own life.

Humans are homeostatic in that we resist change. We try to just get along and go about our business. But there are always those other "bees" attacking us and trying to disrupt what we are doing. It is none of their business. So do we just shake off their attacks and keep on keeping on? Or do we unleash the full power of our wrath and make them suffer the consequences? There will always be new predators waiting in line to take their place for a chance to attack us.

The bumblebee just kept his head down and went about living his life, ignoring anything that did not stop him from being a bee. Maybe that is the answer. Just keep on bee-ing.

"Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a fake messiah. The simplest questions are the most profound. Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in awhile and watch your answers change."  ~ Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

Lori that was was lovely.  Thank you for sharing.  I feel that natural harmony on the water.  We have dolphins that I love to watch whenever they show up.  More fun than the sharks lately... :D

@Oldandcreaky

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 28, 2024, 03:07:37 PMLori, I'd like to hear the story of losing your home if you don't mind sharing.

I don't mind.

I had purchased the home while it was in foreclosure, so I got a good deal on it. It is in a very small town in IL so I qualified for the USDA Rural Development Program.

I contacted my local bank and was approved for the loan. The bank told me that they do not service these types of loans, so would likely sell my Note to another bank that does that sort of thing. I agreed.

The loan was closed and after a few months, I received a letter from the bank notifying me that the Note for the loan had been sold to Countrywide Financing. They included a certified copy of the Note showing it was signed by officers of the local bank and Countrywide. I made every payment after that to Countrywide.

If you have seen the movie, "The Big Short" you will know what happened next. The housing market collapsed and Countrywide went bankrupt.

I contacted Countrywide and asked how I continue making payments. I also contacted an attorney friend and asked about my obligations considering the mortgage company was out of business. The attorney friend said that I had two options: continue making payments as usual, but make certain to document them, such as by certified mail signature required, or I could just wait for them to reply with instructions.

I sent my payments by certified mail with a return receipt and signature required. Two months went by and I received a call from a collection agency. They claimed that they represented Bank of America about my past due mortgage payments. I have a couple of years of experience in the legal department of a national collection agency, so I told him that I was disputing the bill and demanding proof. They followed up with a letter (Demand Notice) and I replied in writing reiterating my dispute that I have no account with Bank of America, and never have. I refuse to do business with Bank of America.

Next, I received a Notice of Intent to Foreclose. I also received a letter from Bank of America stating that they did not own the Note but were the servicing agency that would be handling my account. All future payments were to be made to them. I demanded that they provide any document signed by Countrywide giving them the authority to do so. They never did.

When I received my summons to appear in court, I filed an answer to the complaint stating that I have no account with Bank of America and that Bank of America has shown no proof that they own the Note. Under IL State law only the owner of the Note can file for foreclosure. That ownership document must be provided to the Court at the beginning of any foreclosure proceedings. They did not.

I stopped sending payments to Countrywide because the certified letters went unclaimed and were returned by the post office. I submitted them to the court, unopened, as evidence that I had been making payments. I also provided a copy of the letter from Bank of America stating that they did not own the Note but were only the servicing agency.

When I appeared in court, my defense remained that I have no account with Bank of America and that Bank of America has not shown evidence that they own the Note. The three attorneys representing Bank of America claimed that my Note was purchased from Countrywide by Bank of America in a batch sale of such Notes. I asked to see a Proof of Sale. I was ignored.

This went on like this during each court hearing every 90 days. I asked my friend what I should do and he said to stay the course. At least I was living in the house for free.

I went to the Court Clerk's Office and asked to see the Note that was filed with the complaint forms. I wanted to make sure that they had not filed some document that I didn't know about. It was the same copy of the Note that I had been given that showed Countrywide as the Note owner.

At almost the last hearing another group of two attorneys joined the Plaintiff Party. They represented some remote property holdings company and they asked the judge to join the suit as co-Plaintiffs. The grounds for the request was that Bank of America had now sold my Note to them. As the new owners of the Note, they wished to proceed with foreclosure. The judge allowed it. I objected because Bank of America had yet to prove they owned the Note. They cannot sell property that they do not own. Again, I was ignored.

Bank of America had themselves removed from the proceedings and the foreclosure continued with new plaintiffs. They immediately moved for judgment and the judge ordered it and gave me 90 days to vacate. The property was then auctioned off and sold for precisely the amount shown that was still owed on my Note. I contacted the Judiciary Oversight Committee and filed a formal complaint against the judge for ignoring State Law during the proceedings. Nothing ever came of it.

About three months after the house was sold, I was at the courthouse for some reason I don't recall. I stopped in at the Registrar of Deeds office and requested to see all deeds registered for that property over the past ten years. The most recent entry was one showing Bank of America selling the property to the holding company. No one seemed to notice that there is no record of Countrywide selling it to Bank of America.

I have never purchased a home since then, and probably will not. When your only course of action against a corrupt corporation is the legal system and it too is corrupt to the core, I choose not to play by those rules.

Today's rock tumbler cleanout produced some nice surprises.

Somewhere I had posted a picture of a piece of Sunstone. Sunstone gets its name from mineral inclusions like copper. The bits of copper reflect light when held at certain angles. That shine is called a "flash". In Sunstone, the copper flash is a gold/orange color.

The flash is hard to see in this picture, but it is toward the bottom and you can see sparkles to the left side.

(https://i.imgur.com/5IyVBPh.jpeg)

In this latest batch of rocks, I polished up some Moonstone. Moonstone has a blue flash sort of like moonlight.

(https://i.imgur.com/G4rWYph.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/hFxbkNo.jpeg)

Then there are some small pieces of Moss Agate, which is clear agate with green dendrite inclusions that look like moss.

(https://i.imgur.com/oXhzvOM.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/YKnETZK.jpeg)

Then a piece of Citrine with some gold flash happening.

(https://i.imgur.com/TPvoGCo.jpeg)

Then one of my favorites is the gold flash of Tiger Eye, which is caused by the alignment of mineral fibers within the stone.

(https://i.imgur.com/kuHke13.jpeg)

I just love this stuff. Now to turn it into jewelry!

Gosh, that's a sad story, Lori. It seems like you did everything right and it all came out wrong.

I do love your polished stones. I can see why you love them too. Do you have any "before" pics?

I used to do "before" pics, but very often the stone just doesn't make it through the process. Sometimes the stone will break, and develop fracture lines, pits, and things that make it an unsuitable candidate for the final polish. Now I just take pictures of the graduating class, then another picture once it is made into jewelry or a paperweight.

One of the "less than desirable" stones was given to me by a friend who wanted it polished. It didn't turn out badly, just not really jewelry grade. His mother asked if I could make it into a keyring for him. He would like that, so that is the road that one will follow.

I do have a batch in the tumbler now just getting started. I took before pics of those because I have no idea how they will turn out. I have never tumbled this type before. They are a form of chalcedony that forms here locally in plates, like pieces of frosted glass. I expected them to be quite fragile, but so far they have turned out to be durable. So we will see over the next few weeks what happens to them.

Can you share one before photo of any stone? I'm curious how you descry the potential in a rock? Is it purely your expert eye and is a stone with potential something an untrained eye like mine might spot?

That Tigers Eye is stunning! What will you make of it?

As for your story... it's heartbreaking.

Do you mind if I ask a delicate question? It seems like you chose not to retain counsel for all of this, is that correct? May I ask why? Believe me, as a former attorney I know more than some about what's wrong with our legal system... but I also have some dear friends who are dedicated to their job and really good at it. And even with my background, if I were in a dispute I would retain counsel, just because sometimes you don't get in the game unless you have a player in uniform.

Not, by the way, that this would necessarily have made any difference (except making you lighter in the purse)... but I am curious as to why you didn't at the start, or any any point during that sh*t show you were forced to endure.

Love,
Allie
 

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 28, 2024, 08:09:51 PMCan you share one before photo of any stone? I'm curious how you descry the potential in a rock? Is it purely your expert eye and is a stone with potential something an untrained eye like mine might spot?

The first thing to look for is: "Do you like it?" Is there something that appeals to you, such as shape, color, clarity, patterns like banding, and so forth? If you like the shape, tumbling it will knock off any rough edges and smooth them out. So things like crystals are not good candidates as it would ruin the shapes of the crystals.

Next is the type of stone and this is tied to the stone's hardness. The Mohs Scale ranks stones from Talc (1) to Diamond (10). If you know the type of stone, you can determine its hardness. If you don't know, you can test it. If you can scratch it with a fingernail, it is soft, less than 2.5 hardness. If you can't scratch it with a fingernail but it scratches with a copper penny, it is less than 3.5, and so on. I use a steel nail or a file (6.5 hardness). If it scratches, it will need a closer look and may be too soft. If it doesn't scratch it is in the 7.0 range which puts it in with quartz, jaspers, and agates. The harder a stone is, the better it will take a nice shine.

Testing the hardness is the best way to go unless you know exactly what the stone is. Some stones can be bought on the internet or in reputable rock shops but they use "trade names" to make them more marketable. But the names are very misleading.

This stone is marketed as "Pimento Jasper" or "Fruit Jasper". I had many issues with it, so I did some research. It is not Jasper at all. It is called Sabalgarh Marble and it is from India. Marble is a soft stone, which is why it is used in sculpture (it is easy to carve).

(https://i.imgur.com/YaRbwqZ.jpg)

Because it is porous, the polishing grit darkened the color. Because it is soft, much of the stone's mass wears away very quickly. The porosity also prevents it from taking a shine. I had to spray it with clear acrylic to seal it and make it a little more durable.

This is called Fuchsite, also called Chromium Mica. It is very soft (4 -5 hardness).

(https://i.imgur.com/inZcdeR.jpg)

The mica gives a nice silver shine, but the stone is quite porous and flakes off under pressure. I had to polish this by hand so I could control the outcome. I have since learned that soft rocks are often not used in jewelry because they are not durable enough. Jewelry gets dropped and knocked around and soft stones can't take any abuse.

This is a piece of agate. Agates rank at 7.0 hardness. The only things harder are Topaz( 8 ), Rubies and Sapphires(9), which are the same stone just different minerals change the color, and Diamonds(10).

(https://i.imgur.com/GehzR6r.jpg)

Notice that the grit did not change the shape much. Agates are a 7 hardness and the grit we use is about a 9.25 hardness. I did not leave it for a full cycle so that I could preserve the shape. Then I moved it into the smoothing and polishing phases for the final finish.

I belong to a few rockhounding and rock-tumbling forums and we often get questions from members to identify rocks that they have found. People far more experienced than I can usually tell if it is a good candidate for tumbling. If I have doubts, I throw it in the tumbler for a week and see what happens to it. Sometimes disaster, sometimes treasure.

I also have rocks that I consider too precious to risk in a tumbler, so I either hand-polish them or leave them as they are. I have a candy dish that my late uncle made when he worked in a bronze foundry. That candy dish is filling up with stones that won't go in the tumbler.

One last thing is size. The tumbler reduces the mass by as much as 25%. So if you start with pebbles, you will end up with sand. But you also can't go too large either. It must fit in the barrel of the tumbler with enough room for medium and small stones to roll around with it. My barrels have a 3-lb capacity. I have 3 machines running a total of five barrels at once. So I am tumbling 15 lbs of rock 24/7. It is the stones rubbing and sliding against each other that give the grit its abrasive power. Fill it too full and the rocks can't roll and slide. Not filling it enough will cause the rocks to get thrown around (think clothes in a dryer) and the rocks will get chipped and broken. I like golf ball-size stones, as they end up just the right size. Any bigger and I "resize" them with a 3-lb sledgehammer. If that would ruin it, it doesn't get tumbled.

I know a few people who choose only rounded stones, like you find in rivers or on lake shores. Mother Nature has already shaped them and sized them so they can skip the first stage and move right to smoothing and polishing. Some people have found some amazing rocks in their driveway or landscaping stones. Another guy uses Google Earth to locate houses with rock-covered roofs. He gets permission from the owner and climbs up. He has found some great stones there too.

The nice thing about rockhounding is there is never a shortage of rocks.  ;D

Quote from: imallie on July 28, 2024, 09:09:35 PMDo you mind if I ask a delicate question? It seems like you chose not to retain counsel for all of this, is that correct? May I ask why? Believe me, as a former attorney I know more than some about what's wrong with our legal system... but I also have some dear friends who are dedicated to their job and really good at it. And even with my background, if I were in a dispute I would retain counsel, just because sometimes you don't get in the game unless you have a player in uniform.

Not, by the way, that this would necessarily have made any difference (except making you lighter in the purse)... but I am curious as to why you didn't at the start, or any any point during that sh*t show you were forced to endure.

Mostly financial reasons. I did talk to my friend by phone for advice. He was out of state so not available. My experience in the legal department of a collection agency and the advice from my friend, and we believed it was a slam dunk on our end. They can't collect on a debt that isn't theirs. And the law is clear that they must show that they own the debt. Simple. Case dismissed.

As it went on, I kept checking in with my friend and he felt the same as I did that my defense was solid. He even told me to submit a Discovery to demand they show ownership documents. The judge dismissed my motion saying we were already past that phase, whatever that meant. I was just amazed that I kept being ignored. But like you said it goes better when you have a player in uniform.

My honest suspicion is the judge took a bribe. I can't prove it, but he seemed very chummy with the three attorneys from BoA. When they spoke, he listened carefully to what they said. When I spoke, he was usually doodling or busy doing something more important than listening to the defendant.

Oh well. The Land of Lincoln is now the Land of Corruption.

Fun Fact: For the fourth year in a row, Chicago is America's most corrupt city, and Illinois is the third-most corrupt state, according to a new report from the University of Illinois at Chicago. (As of Nov 3, 2023)

Bonus Facts: New figures from a WLS-TV report found Illinois has tallied 891 public corruption convictions since 2000, more than any other state. This does not include the guilty plea filed Jan. 28 by former state Sen. Martin Sandoval for bribery and tax fraud.

Last year, the University of Illinois at Chicago compiled U.S. Department of Justice data from 1976 to 2017 and found the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois had 1,730 federal corruption convictions: more than any other district court in the country.

And no other state has seen four of its past 10 former governors go to prison.
Feb 20, 2020 Report (https://www.illinoispolicy.org/illinois-home-to-more-public-corruption-convictions-than-any-other-state-since-2000/)

The best advice I ever received came from my cousin who said, "Vote with your feet and get out of there."

Quote from: imallie on July 28, 2024, 09:09:35 PMThat Tigers Eye is stunning! What will you make of it?

It will become a necklace pendant. I am not sure how I will wrap it. I like it horizontal as shown, but pendants hang better vertically. When I start a new piece, I turn the stone around at different angles and in different lighting to see what gives the best flash. Also to determine which face will be the front of the stone. If they have blemishes, I put those in the back. Sometimes the feature and the blemish are on the front, so I look to see if I can conceal the blemish with the wire while still showcasing the feature.

I am still learning and exploring my creative side. I have never really had any art talent. Always good at storytelling, but never art. My grandmother once told me that when I was in the fourth grade, I would write short stories and send them to her. I don't recall that, and she is gone now. So now I am exploring the artsy-crafty side to expand my horizons, and I enjoy it.

I just like making things, being a trained mechanic leaves me short of skills for crafting. Panel beating and body work skills I have picked up from working with folks and just doing my own stuff. I think I have got better, I like making the steam punk style lights. Stones look great, getting the settings to work is the hard bit!

Quote from: davina61 on July 29, 2024, 03:41:01 AMStones look great, getting the settings to work is the hard bit!

That is true. I like the wire wrap technique because I can wrap any stone. The hard bit is wire gauge and color selection, then figuring out what design to make while wrapping. With limited experience, my wraps look similar, but it is the stone that is unique.

Lori, I do think, as Shakespeare nearly wrote, that something is rotten in Illinois. I hate that they took your home from you. You truly loved it, as evidenced by your improving it.

Thanks for teaching me about stones. Does you tumbler draw a lot of energy?

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 29, 2024, 08:46:04 AMDoes you tumbler draw a lot of energy?

Not at all. At first when I added the third machine, my electric bill went up. I panicked, but it dropped the following month and is holding steady. I can pull the specs to see the total current draw. Two of the machines are 12 VDC so they run on power adapters. I have one machine that runs on AC, so it pulls more current and some of that energy is wasted in heat, but not overly so.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 29, 2024, 08:46:04 AMLori, I do think, as Shakespeare nearly wrote, that something is rotten in Illinois. I hate that they took your home from you. You truly loved it, as evidenced by your improving it.

No doubt about the corruption there. When I was installing security systems, we got a job to install panic buttons in all the judges' chambers at the courthouse. I was paired up with an Electrician and he and I became good friends. He was Italian and gave me some tips on telling if someone was mob-connected or just a wannabe.

We had to go into the County Building Inspector's Office to get some blueprints. Before we walked in, he said to pay attention to everyone who works there. They were all Italians with the same last name! He told me later that they are all related. When a job opening becomes available, family gets the first call and they tend to skip the interview.  ;)

My girlfriend and I had been living together for about five years. Her mother was diagnosed with ALS and her father was elderly, so we bought the house there to be close to them if they needed help. We planned to stay there indefinitely, did our own remodeling (slowly), and even got married in the Town Park. Yes, IL leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I left, I never looked back. No regrets.

And yet, you are so loving and supportive at Susan's. I'm your fangirl.

Aw, shucks. (blushes)  ;D

Dealing with security issues again (still). The car thieves returned again last night. Same MO, dressed all in black wearing ski masks. The Manager is having problems with the security cameras, so will have to call the service techs.

In the meantime, I am repositioning my Jeep so the dashcam covers the parking lot. I'll be matching their outfits wearing all black, minus the ski mask. It may take a few more days before they come back, but I'll be waiting. I don't plan to hurt them, but if I can intimidate them enough to make them need to change their underwear, it may help. If I get one in custody, I'll let the police handle it.

@Lori Dee
Dear Lori:
I most certainly agree with @Oldandcreaky 
Add me also to your list of fangirls !!!

Keep up the excellent work that you are doing on the Forum.  You are very
much appreciated.
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 29, 2024, 04:15:35 PMAnd yet, you are so loving and supportive at Susan's. I'm your fangirl.

Quote from: Lori Dee on July 29, 2024, 04:38:27 PMAw, shucks. (blushes)  ;D

Be careful Lori.  You could get hurt being watchful.

Admirable to be a crime watch person but it comes with risks.

Plus in many municipalities, prosecutors are very lenient and criminals are let out so easily and often with low or no bail bonding.

Back the Blue. Get more police in your community.  It is a job fewer people want as they are being disrespected by many, as are schoolteachers!   Can you imagine, many parents not helping their kid's schoolteachers much at all with their kid's learning?  Even if they have to work more than one job, they should be supportive of their teachers and not assume their kid is always the angel and diligent in the classrooms.  They must work together to help the kids.  Parents often put so little effort in helping their kids mature, to be responsible, to be accountable for their behavior, and that is reflected in the classrooms. 

Do not get black, blue, bruised, or otherwise injured.  Thieves often carry weapons too.

Hugs,

Chrissy

 

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on July 31, 2024, 04:09:21 PMBe careful Lori.  You could get hurt being watchful.

Admirable to be a crime watch person but it comes with risks.

Plus in many municipalities, prosecutors are very lenient and criminals are let out so easily and often with low or no bail bonding.

Back the Blue. Get more police in your community.  It is a job fewer people want as they are being disrespected by many, as are schoolteachers! 

Do not get black, blue, bruised, or otherwise injured.  Thieves often carry weapons too.

Hugs,

Chrissy

 

Thanks, Chrissy.

I will be careful. Our local police are now busy with the Sturgis Rally and Tourist season. So locals are left to fend for themselves mostly. They are busy handling crimes and can't sit idle in our parking lot. But I can. As a 15-year veteran, I spent a LOT of time on guard duty. I know what I can and cannot do.

Since they were here last night, I do not expect them to show up again tonight. The suspects are teenagers and not armed. On the other hand, I am always armed. The dashcam on my Jeep is set to Parking Mode which means it will turn on if it detects motion and will record for ten minutes. Between that and the building security cameras, there will be plenty of video evidence that I acted to protect private property. Not only is South Dakota an open carry state, meaning there are no special regulations governing me being armed, but South Dakota is also a "Stand Your Ground" state.

"South Dakota has a 'stand your ground' provision, which means you are not obligated to retreat before using force if you believe it is necessary to protect yourself or others. South Dakota law also permits using force, including deadly force, in self-defense situations outside the home."

I do not expect a situation where any of that might come into play. Each time they have been seen here, they just run away when confronted. I will be cautious, with my safety in mind, but enough is enough. Someone needs to step up and let these punks know that we will not be victims.

If any law enforcement officer wishes to argue that with me, they are welcome to patrol the property with me. The reason we formed a Neighborhood Watch Group is because we know the police and sheriffs are very busy this time of year. We back the blue by filling in where they cannot. We have elderly and disabled residents here that need protection.

I hear what you are saying, Chrissy. I respect and am grateful for your concern. Thank you.

@Lori Dee
Dear Lori:
A lot of this crime by brazen criminals is perpetuated by many of the "soft of crime" prosectutors
that seem to provide incentive to the criminals because they are aware that they will probably be
out on cashless bail, never charged,  and never go to jail...
....according to what I read in the "news' this certainly seems to be true in some cities, states,
and jurisdictions.

I live in a very rural area about 2 miles from a very small town in Alaska, our biggest worry is
the dangerous wildlife, bears and wolves especially. 
I don't go hiking, fishing, or camping without my 2 friends, Smith and Wesson.

Be careful, be safe.
HUGS, Danielle  [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on July 31, 2024, 04:49:39 PMI live in a very rural area about 2 miles from a very small town in Alaska, our biggest worry is the
dangerous wildlife, bears and wolves especially. 
I don't go hiking, fishing, or camping without my 2 friends, Smith and Wesson.

Exactly. I believe Alaska is an open-carry state too, right? We only have the occasional bear sighting. Rangers believe they wander in from Wyoming, definitely not native. We do have wolves and mountain lions. Our biggest predator is the two-legged kind.

I agree that the courts are too lenient. Early release for "good behavior"? Should have thought about that before becoming a criminal. I think they should serve every minute of their sentence. Prosecutors make deals because it counts as a win on their record. There should never be any deals made. Let a jury decide if the crime warrants the sentence, or if the circumstances warrant a lesser crime.

Elect me Queen of the World and I will straighten this crap out on Day One!
It would probably take a week just to have my minions write down all the changes I make.  ;D

I enjoy watching a movie while I eat dinner. I have about 600 movies in my collection.

Tonight's entertainment:

The Purge: Election Year

I think it might be appropriate.

I got some arrows for the compound bow my wife left me when she passed.  She was also short so the bow fits me really well.
While not for everyone, I think it makes an excellent home self defense weapon for anyone who is a natural at hitting targets.  If I can hit a tree at 100 ft I can certainly hit the center of mass at across the basement!  Closing distance in a typical New Engand basement is not like running across an empty field!  Especially when you control the lights!

That Moonstone is beautiful. Utterly beautiful.

That is very much the stuff I would like jewellery made from.

Quote from: Sephirah on August 01, 2024, 03:11:26 PMThat Moonstone is beautiful. Utterly beautiful.

That is very much the stuff I would like jewellery made from.

Thanks. I have a few stones that I really like that are not native. I will be looking for a good quality source in the future, maybe even this winter. When I get these pieces put up on my Etsy site, I plan to offer a discount code for members here. I may even recover my shipping costs and then donate the proceeds of member purchases to Susan's. I'm still working out the logistics of that since the site is wide open to non-members too. I might do the code through PM or something. I'll figure it out.  ;D

It never fails to amaze me just how jaw-droppingly beautiful the world around us can be. Especially geologically. How can you not feel utterly moved when you find things you've posted, Lori? How can you not be utterly enraptured by the sheer, wordless appreciation of the world we live on?

Keep your diamond rings. Our planet has a grasp of beauty that goes way beyond.

Quote from: Sephirah on August 01, 2024, 03:43:29 PMIt never fails to amaze me just how jaw-droppingly beautiful the world around us can be. Especially geologically. How can you not feel utterly moved when you find things you've posted, Lori? How can you not be utterly enraptured by the sheer, wordless appreciation of the world we live on?

Keep your diamond rings. Our planet has a grasp of beauty that goes way beyond.

Exactly. I had found an interesting rock I thought might contain gold, so I broke it in half and viewed it under my stereoscope. At 40x magnification, I found tiny red and green crystals that were smaller than a pinhead but so gorgeous. I thought about that. That rock was formed millions of years ago, then I found it and smacked it with a hammer. I am the only human ever to see those beautiful crystals inside. They were put there for me to discover. How amazing and special is that?

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 01, 2024, 04:51:00 PMExactly. I had found an interesting rock I thought might contain gold, so I broke it in half and viewed it under my stereoscope. At 40x magnification, I found tiny red and green crystals that were smaller than a pinhead but so gorgeous. I thought about that. That rock was formed millions of years ago, then I found it and smacked it with a hammer. I am the only human ever to see those beautiful crystals inside. They were put there for me to discover. How amazing and special is that?

It's extremely special. The art of the world rivals the art of any person alive or dead. It's something I feel not enough people really have an appreciation for. Nature... in all its grandeur, makes us feel often very small. For good reason. In the vast blizzard of the universe, we are but one snowflake.

It takes a certain way of seeing the world to appreciate the sheer beauty in all things. You have this, Lori. It's something I wish more people shared. Maybe then the world might be... better. <3

Wow, a lot covered in your blog Lori. 

I agree that you are a loving person with a wonderful heart and a beautiful smile. 

Post a sign on the car "The owner is watching you and she has a rifle aimed at you right now."  That should be a good enough deterrent.  Leave a roll of toilet paper for them.

Sp many stones can be so amazing and their colors can carry such depth and complexities. "40x magnification, I found tiny red and green crystals" too bad you can't photograph that.

 

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 01, 2024, 05:21:15 PMWow, a lot covered in your blog Lori. 

I agree that you are a loving person with a wonderful heart and a beautiful smile. 

Post a sign on the car "The owner is watching you and she has a rifle aimed at you right now."  That should be a good enough deterrent.  Leave a roll of toilet paper for them.

Sp many stones can be so amazing and their colors can carry such depth and complexities. "40x magnification, I found tiny red and green crystals" too bad you can't photograph that.

 

Thank you!

I actually considered a sign like that! A friend of mine had a custom conversion van. On the driver's window was a small sticker that said: "If you value your life as much as I value this van, do not f*ck with it!"

I do have an adapter on my scope so I can take pictures! Now, I'll have to see if I can find that rock again. I only have a couple million or so. But thanks for the idea. I'll post another photo album of just stereoscope pics.

Quote from: Emma1017 on August 01, 2024, 05:21:15 PMWow, a lot covered in your blog Lori. 

I agree that you are a loving person with a wonderful heart and a beautiful smile. 

Post a sign on the car "The owner is watching you and she has a rifle aimed at you right now."  That should be a good enough deterrent.  Leave a roll of toilet paper for them.

Sp many stones can be so amazing and their colors can carry such depth and complexities. "40x magnification, I found tiny red and green crystals" too bad you can't photograph that.

 

Emma,

You assume these criminals can read.  If they spent more time learning, they might be able to read or read better than they do.  Likely they are habitual absentee students at their schools.


Chrissy

There was little activity last night.

I spoke with the Manager and she knows the adult relative of the culprits. She let her know that she is responsible for her guests and relatives whether they live there or not, and that she could lose her housing if she continues to allow them to run free without supervision. We have far too many parents these days who are afraid to parent. They are more interested in being friends than parents.

Now we wait and see how well the message was received.

I took some photos of some rocks I have lying around through the AmScope stereoscope.

By popular* demand** I am posting them here and have started a new album for them.

*popular = @Emma1017 is popular
** demand = She suggested nicely

A few gold nuggets magnified. These pics are posted on my website in my Gold Gallery album:

(https://i.imgur.com/BtfgVbC.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/hU8vCdv.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/IpHyvV7.jpeg)
(https://i.imgur.com/HLvrDpd.jpeg)

Compare to what Pyrite Crystals look like:
(https://i.imgur.com/Z8u0oJA.jpeg)

The Moonstone piece I recently polished has a nice hidden feature:

at 20x magnification
(https://i.imgur.com/6iokIbG.jpeg)

Zoomed in to 40x magnification:
(https://i.imgur.com/czvw8Sk.jpeg)

Zoomed in at 120x magnification:
(https://i.imgur.com/qyDLPyc.jpeg)

This is a piece of Fuchsite, also known as Chromium Mica. It has blue, green, and clear crystals with silvery chrome mica. The tiny red specks are rubies embedded in the stone.
(https://i.imgur.com/y90y895.jpeg)

While gold panning, I found a couple of pieces of raw platinum.
(https://i.imgur.com/ifEp7pk.jpeg)

I didn't know if it was silver or platinum. Silver has a hardness of 3 on the Mohs scale, which means you can scratch it with a copper penny. Platinum is harder at 4.5 - 5 so a penny won't scratch it, but a piece of glass or a knife blade will. It didn't scratch, it fractured instead into a bunch of tiny fragments.
(https://i.imgur.com/eqt7pGq.jpeg)

And finally a piece of Tree Agate. Tree Agate is not a true agate because it is not clear like Moss Agate. Tree Agate is usually white but has the same dendrites that give it the look of branches, ferns, or moss inside. The green dendrites are caused by a mixture of iron oxide and manganese oxide that give it a green color.
(https://i.imgur.com/lj48b8F.jpeg)

Some stones look better as they are and magnification does not reveal anything spectacular. I have several specimens of large Calcite clusters that are really cool. But magnified you only see one or two crystals, so it is rather unimpressive. I have those listed on my Etsy store with closeups of the crystal pockets. If you want to see those, they are at loridee605(dot)etsy(dot)com Since those were not photographed with the stereoscope they are not included here.

If I find more to add to the album, I'll post a link to those.
This concludes this morning's rock porn. Thank you.

@Lori Dee
Dear Lori:
Fantastic photos.
The magnification reveals much hidden beauty.
Thank you for sharing and posting.
Please keep your updates coming.
Hugs,
Danielle

Lori the photos are beautiful.  Thank for posting them...way cool!

Far more interesting than the boring granite from the hills (extinct volcanos ) that we have here, more interesting is the fossils found in the sand and gravel beds formed when it used to be a shallow sea.

@davina61

We have that here too. The entire Badlands was once oceanfront property. As the Black Hills rose, the area became dry, but there were lots of fossils of sea creatures left behind. Next, the dinosaurs moved in. The Badlands is famous for T-Rex skeletons. If you can find it, watch the movie Dinosaur 13. It is about a local team of paleontologists who uncovered the largest most complete T-Rex ever found. Nicknamed "Sue" after the woman who discovered her, she now resides at the Denver Museum of Natural History after a very lengthy court battle with the government. Locals here fought the government tooth-and-nail to keep her here but eventually lost the battle.

We have to be careful about collecting fossils here. Federal Regulations prohibit it on Federal land without a special permit. Those permits are only given to credentialed paleontologists. So most rockhounds just claim it was found on private property to avoid any issues.

I still maintain the Moonstone is the most beautiful thing... ever. It's like a rainbow trapped in ice.

Quote from: Sephirah on August 02, 2024, 02:55:05 PMI still maintain the Moonstone is the most beautiful thing... ever. It's like a rainbow trapped in ice.

I found a supplier and they market it as "Rainbow Moonstone".
You called it. Right on the money.

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 02, 2024, 01:12:57 PMWe have to be careful about collecting fossils here. Federal Regulations prohibit it on Federal land without a special permit. Those permits are only given to credentialed paleontologists. So most rockhounds just claim it was found on private property to avoid any issues.

Because if dudes in suits can find a way to own petrified dinosaur bones, you can bet your bottom dollar they'll try to. I just have to shake my head at this. It's just dumb. "If you're not Sam Neill you're not getting in" is just silly.

I hope no property is stolen or damaged in your area Lori.

Catalytic converters and electric vehicle charging station wires are ripped off a lot nowadays.

Chrissy

Since my neighbor's car was stolen (she got it back), we have had 8 burglaries. People are breaking into cars and ransacking them taking anything of value: pocket change, GPS, clothing. Management put a warning in our newsletter and the Resident Council is warning people about locking up and not leaving valuables. With a couple of us walking the lot at night, hopefully, we can put an end to this.

I am not confident it will happen until arrests are made. And those are not in the immediate forecast. So we patrol and take care of our own.

WE had a spate of thinks like that, turns out drug users financing their habit.

Lori, 


Can you move to a safer area?  If you want to, that is.


Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on August 03, 2024, 11:47:51 AMLori, 

Can you move to a safer area?  If you want to, that is.

Chrissy

I have considered it. Financially, I cannot yet. I renewed my lease on my apartment so I am stuck here until August 2025. The biggest issue is cost. I am in one of the lowest cost of living states with no state income tax, and sales tax is only 4%. Places that are more LGBTQ-friendly are very expensive.

Last year, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do. I tried to buy an RV that I would live in full-time. I could winter down near the CA/AZ border where I can rent a campsite for 7 months for $189 total. Then as the desert warms up, I could slowly work my way north and spend the summer here. That way, I could prospect year-round, and if any location becomes hostile I can just turn the key and leave. No worries about breaking leases or transferring utilities. Just go somewhere else.

Then parking becomes an issue. Here, an RV parking space (overnight) can cost more than a hotel room. In the summer during terrorist tourist season, everything is expensive. And I don't want to have to drive an RV to appointments and grocery shopping. An option is to get a truck and pull a trailer. I can drop the trailer at a campsite, and drive the truck to run errands.

I am looking at various options. Right now, none of them are affordable. I would prefer to spend money on my transition instead. If my VA Claims evaluation swings my way, I will be able to afford both. I still won't know the decision until Oct-Nov timeframe and with time still on my lease, I have plenty of time to make plans.

(PS: if I get an RV, it WILL have a machine gun nest and sniper's perch... just in case of a zombie apocalypse).  ;D

I am lucky to have a garage to store my little chick car!
It is a tight fit when I have the lawnmower on one side and the storage cabinets on the other side.
The average car thief may have trouble getting inside my car when it is parked safely in the garage!

I've been studying the advantages of my bow and arrow for defense. It is relatively silent and doesn't create a tell tale flash in the dark. Home field advantage.  Did you know that Major League baseball parks aren't standardized?

Quote from: Maid Marion on August 03, 2024, 01:50:52 PMI've been studying the advantages of my bow and arrow for defense. It is relatively silent and doesn't create a tell tale flash in the dark. Home field advantage. 

That's why mine are air rifles. No flash. My scope is optical, with no lasers. My "sniper rifle" is a Benjamin Prowler. I like how the silencer is incorporated right into the barrel. At .22 gauge it is more powerful than a BB gun. At long range, it is hardly lethal, but it will leave a mark and lots of pain.

I have no plans to use it against a person. I don't carry it when I am walking the lot. I wear my Daily Carry for that. The rifle's purpose is when I am upstairs, see something and cannot get downstairs in time to prevent a crime. Then it comes in handy as an AT&T Tool.

Remember the old AT&T commercials? "Reach out and touch someone." Yup. That it will do.

Just be careful and wise.  Lots of places are expensive.

It would be good to be in a safe neighborhood.

Chrissy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U4ZYOBzEEs

Make this a thing.

@Lori Dee
Here is the car to get that will not get stolen....  HUGS, Danielle

      https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/chameleon-xle/2859849

Sephirah and Danielle are both great ideas. They had me laughing.

Similar to the "Chameleon," I encountered something in Illinois. I was still in training for residential security system installation. We had a job on the West side of Rockford, in a very "not nice" neighborhood. We arrived at the house. Junk car in the front yard where grass didn't dare try to grow. The front windows were covered in plywood and the house needed paint.

When we went inside, it was night and day, just like that car. Some of the nicest furniture I have ever seen. The place was decorated like something you would see in magazines. Nice paintings on the wall, everything was very tastefully done. Even the carpet looked brand new.

After the installation was done and we were heading home, I commented that they should do some work on the outside of the building so the neighborhood would look nicer. But all the other houses looked similar. My Lead Technician said they do it to keep property taxes low. Since the entire neighborhood looks the same, home values in that area are as low as they can go... thus they pay the lowest taxes in the city.

I don't have anything fancy because I live within my means. Much of my furniture was given to me but is in good condition. I'll be buying a new (used) vehicle this Fall and probably a new recliner. I replace things as needed and when I can afford them.

(https://i.imgur.com/jQxNPqB.jpeg)

It is wise to stay within a planned spending habit.
Many people go off of it. It is sad when medical issues cause that.

It is not sad but rather foolish when people live beyond their means for only self pleasing reasons.

Buy when you save up.  There will be future sales too, there is very little need to not wait because of a retail deal.

Cars are problematic.  Older ones are cheaper in the long run and easier to repair, to an extent, if in good condition and no rust.  But used car prices are not low.  Deals abound in new cars are they are harder to sell now than good used cars.  Or so they say.

Chrissy

I have been able to get good deals toward the end of the year. This Fall, dealerships will be trying to clear out the 2024 models to make room for shiny new 2025s. That means good deals on 2023s and 2022s that are still new. Back in 2000, I traded a Ford conversion van I had customized for two (his & hers) 1998 Dodge Daytonas. This year, I want to upgrade my Jeep Patriot for a Grand Cherokee. That will give me a more powerful engine and more room in the back. The Patriot (4-cylinder) doesn't have the power to climb hills and I need something to get me where I need to go so I don't have to hike as far. It will be more spendy on gas, but it will save wear and tear on my knees. Getting old sucks.

Acceptance in any form is always a blessing.

My next-door neighbor went through a bitter divorce recently. His son would often wave to me from his apartment window or we would say hello in the hallway. Since the divorce, he has lived with his mother and only occasionally visits his dad. His uncle often brings the boy and his cousin for a visit on the weekends.

I was out this morning for a walk and as I was entering, this young man held the door for me. He opened his arms offering me a hug and said, "It's been a long time!" We hugged and he introduced me to his young female cousin and chatted about what he has been up to recently.

This kid has no agenda and does not see me as male or female, just the friendly neighbor next door. I hope he never outgrows it. He is a great kid who is always a pleasure to have around.

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 04, 2024, 10:28:58 AMI have been able to get good deals toward the end of the year. This Fall, dealerships will be trying to clear out the 2024 models to make room for shiny new 2025s. That means good deals on 2023s and 2022s that are still new. Back in 2000, I traded a Ford conversion van I had customized for two (his & hers) 1998 Dodge Daytonas. This year, I want to upgrade my Jeep Patriot for a Grand Cherokee. That will give me a more powerful engine and more room in the back. The Patriot (4-cylinder) doesn't have the power to climb hills and I need something to get me where I need to go so I don't have to hike as far. It will be more spendy on gas, but it will save wear and tear on my knees. Getting old sucks.

Three other tips when car buying that will help you tremendously with getting the best deal:

1. Always go in to buy the last couple of days of a month. Dealerships have quotas. They're always looking to hit them so they're much more amenable in the days before their numbers are locked.

2. Be flexible and prepared to take a car off the lot. Buying from a dealer's inventory is also an incentive for them to sell at a the lowest possible price.

3. Research and find ACTUAL dealer cost. Negotiate from THAT number. Once a dealer knows you're well informed, and ready to take on premise inventory at the end of a month? They're happy to make a few hundred off of you... and make more money off the next person who walks through the door.

I learned # 3 from wife # 2. Before she passed away, she worked as a bookkeeper at a car dealership for a few years. That is the same advice she gave. She was with me when we negotiated the trade of my van for his & her Daytonas. She got the purple one with a T-top and automatic, I got the one with a stick shift because she couldn't drive a stick. She was instrumental in negotiating that trade.

Good advice, thank you!

I was thinking about my encounter with my neighbor's kid. He is about ten, so like 1/5th my age. That reminded me of an interesting math problem.

Here goes (don't make it creepy):

A 40-year-old man meets a 10-year-old girl. He is 4 times older than she is. (4x10=40).

Five years later, she is 15 and he is 45. He is only 3 times older than she. (3x15=45).

Fifteen years later, she is 30 and he is 60. He is only twice as old as she. (2x30=60).

How long until they are the same age?

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 04, 2024, 03:43:08 PMI was thinking about my encounter with my neighbor's kid. He is about ten, so like 1/5th my age. That reminded me of an interesting math problem.

Here goes (don't make it creepy):

A 40-year-old man meets a 10-year-old girl. He is 4 times older than she is. (4x10=40).

Five years later, she is 15 and he is 45. He is only 3 times older than she. (3x15=45).

Fifteen years later, she is 30 and he is 60. He is only twice as old as she. (2x30=60).

How long until they are the same age?

They will never be the same age, of course.

"I woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from nineteen sixty-two... "

Neighbor yelled at me to shut up.
So I went back to bed.

---------------------

The past week has been hot with temperatures hovering near 100. Yesterday the humidity joined in as a prelude to last night's storm.

I was chatting with a new tenant who just moved into our apartment building. She said she was from Alabama. She commented that she did not move this far north just to have more Alabama weather.

I said, "Welcome to the Upper Midwest where we have everyone's weather except our own."

The marquis across the street says it is 61 and sunny. It is pouring rain. < sigh >

@Lori Dee
Dear Lori:
Seriously your neighbor yelled at you to shut up? ???

Were you singing especially loud or did you and your neighbor have your windows open???

HUGS, Danielle  [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 06, 2024, 10:04:34 AM"I woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from nineteen sixty-two... "

Neighbor yelled at me to shut up.
So I went back to bed.

---------------------

The past week has been hot with temperatures hovering near 100. Yesterday the humidity joined in as a prelude to last night's storm.

I was chatting with a new tenant who just moved into our apartment building. She said she was from Alabama. She commented that she did not move this far north just to have more Alabama weather.

I said, "Welcome to the Upper Midwest where we have everyone's weather except our own."

The marquis across the street says it is 61 and sunny. It is pouring rain. < sigh >

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on August 06, 2024, 04:43:32 PMSeriously your neighbor yelled at you to shut up? ???

Were you singing especially loud or did you and your neighbor have your windows open???

Especially thin walls.
The trials and tribulations of an apartment dweller.  ;D
 

Lori said, "Started humming a song from nineteen sixty-two... "

Neighbor yelled at me to shut up.
So I went back to bed."


Really?   It much soundproofing between walls?  And/or What loudness level did you set the speakers for your karaoke? 


Chrissy

When the flat below's washing machine goes on spin and I am sat on my sofa it turns into a massage chair!!

Quote from: davina61 on August 07, 2024, 03:36:47 AMWhen the flat below's washing machine goes on spin and I am sat on my sofa it turns into a massage chair!!

Amazing.

Earlier, I was chatting with a friend here about makeup. Over the years, I have tried various wig styles and colors. Some worked and some... not so much. In reviewing some photos I have taken I noticed how a subtle nuance can make a big difference. Generally, I do my makeup the same way and even stick to the same palette. With a warm-colored skin tone, you want warm colors, or like me with cool-colored skin, a cool palette of blues and greens. But for hair, it can be the opposite (as you will see). With a cool skin tone, warm blondes and reds seem to work well, but cool gray/silver not so much.

Another difference is lighting. The way you look in your makeup mirror is not the same as how you look in the bathroom mirror, or sitting in your car or office. Small things like false lashes, sunglasses, jewelry, and such can change the way you look and even make you look younger or older.

So here are some pictures of me since coming out in 2019.

(https://i.imgur.com/4gN0kfx.jpeg)
FaceApp was used to give me more prominent cheekbones, but sadly it washed out the color of my hair. It gave me an idea of what look I wanted and how to achieve that with makeup.

(https://i.imgur.com/n37iRJM.jpeg)
October 2021 - Same hair - my favorite wig. I struggled with droopy eyelids and eventually had surgery to fix them.

(https://i.imgur.com/chXpJkB.jpeg)(https://i.imgur.com/fIZoPhs.jpeg)
Both of these were taken on May 19, 2022. Notice the difference? On the right, false lashes and sunglasses hide the top of my head making my head look smaller. The lighting is different too: bathroom light vs sitting in my Jeep.

(https://i.imgur.com/PaOheRN.jpeg)
November 2022 - same hair, lashes, and makeup. No sunglasses. The look is similar because the lighting is similar.

(https://i.imgur.com/OLUIUG7.jpeg)
January 2023 - going to a New Year's Day party. The makeup is a bit heavy up close, but from a distance, it looks good.

(https://i.imgur.com/8ccdJA1.jpeg)
January 17, 2023 - Makeup toned down. Just enough coverage on the face and a little eyeliner.

(https://i.imgur.com/1SOl0Vv.jpeg)
August 11, 2023 - Camping in the Black Hills, so no wigs. Makeup is a bare minimum, mostly sunscreen. The forest lighting was very kind and helped hide my "old lady wrinkles".

(https://i.imgur.com/zrHd2iT.jpeg)
The next day, August 12, 2023 - Rockhounding out at Teepee Canyon. Again minimal makeup, and sunscreen as a coverup. I think the commonality between this one and the previous one is both were taken outdoors in the morning when the sun was not so harsh.

(https://i.imgur.com/cH8Piud.jpeg)
August 25, 2023 - the start of a Steampunk Halloween costume that never transpired. The buckles are silver and the buckles on my boots are gold. I was also done with this wig. It was human hair, so required styling after every wash. My hair grew long enough to be a pain to wear under this wig and remain comfortable. So I donated the wig to a friend of a friend.

(https://i.imgur.com/qe0AvmF.jpeg)
October 12, 2023 - Makeup again a bit on the heavy side, but not bad from a distance.

(https://i.imgur.com/jP2BKQH.jpeg)
Taken the same day, but indoors. Different wig - A new topper (that doesn't match my hair color).

(https://i.imgur.com/dszErQF.jpeg)
December 4, 2023 - my favorite wig again. This pic shows the color much better. Sadly, it is wearing out and I have not been able to find this one again. My stylist attempted to recreate the look by coloring my hair like this and a matching topper. That did not go well.

(https://i.imgur.com/l71z1U4.jpeg)
December 26, 2023 - I toned the topper to correct for the brassiness (see the pic up a couple) But I overcooked it and it turned gray. I decided to embrace the gray and colored my hair to match (Nice N Easy 8S Silver Gray). Better, but I am so over the gray bit.

(https://i.imgur.com/F9WAL25.jpeg)
Same day - Back to one of my older wigs. Add a touch of eye shadow and it's a whole new look.

I don't have any pics from 2024 yet. I'll wait until I see what the new Raquel Welch wig catalogs have to offer, and then I'll add to this album (https://imgur.com/a/3xR9eT2).