Hi Robby,

Don't ever think that you can't look feminine. Yes, you might have a bigger frame, but there are big women too. I worked with a gal and we called her our Amazon Queen or the Viking Goddess. She was 6'1" with a wide frame and gorgeous blonde hair. It can happen. No, many of us will never be the small slender hot body. But that doesn't make you less feminine. Feminity is mostly a mindset. Then you adapt your mannerisms and work on appearance. There is no reason you can't become a Viking Goddess too. Give it time and think positively.

  RandomStrangerX   is now known as  MartaA

I know I feel this way more and more. Even more so when I see my wife naked. I always tell her she has an amazing body, and I'm glad that she gives it to me and lets me enjoy it (sexually and non sexually) but deep down I wish it was my body. That I had as feminine of a body as she does. She thinks I'm just complementing her and I am but there's more to it than that on my end.

Since I am a very masculine guy, and have very masculine frame ( that my wife has said that most men would spend their lives to achieve) I know I will never be that feminine, I will never have that small slender feminine look with curves in all the right places. For a guys body I'm good, but I guess I just made the best with the cards I've been delt since I felt there's nothing I can do about it. So I'm sure as most of us have at some point or another tried to ignore or repress everything by being as masculine or macho of a man as we can be, but it never works.

I feel the most envious when I see an attractive athletic woman at the gym. I feel I'll never be small and slender but there's a chance I could look like a female athlete or bodybuilder. So when I see a female like that, that's when it really hits me since I'm still here in a man's body and having to go as fast and my wife can handle any sort of transition.

What's the best place to buy professional wigs? I have only ever bought ones from Amazon or costume stores.

I know if I were to ever transition I'd need a really good wig, prob made of real hair, or of really high quality.

Also what is the typical price of a high quality wig. Obviously I know depending on the length for the wig prices will differ.

Okay, so after today's therapy session, I've finally decided to come out to my girlfriend. I've felt like there's now or never.

And.. It didn't went well.

Almost 4 hours of talking, questions, crying and everything connected to that... She stated that she's okay to be my friend if I decide to start taking hormones or making moves towards becoming a woman, but she can't be with me.

And that broke me completely. 2 or 3 panic attacks, total storm in my mind and now I'm sitting here, thinking..

Now I'm not sure if I can sacrifice everything I got to chase my dream.

Quote from: BlueJaye on February 19, 2024, 07:11:28 PMI have a friend who was a member here a long time ago who transitioned medically, had surgery and low dose HRT, but still lives and presents as a man. I'm not saying that is the answer for you, but I want you to know that the horizon of possible paths forward is broader than you might realize.

Is that really possible? Alot of my research says most doctors won't do any surgeries with an individual living as the opposite gender for a year min. Yet alone being on HRT as well for a specific amount of time before they will even consider doing any surgeries that are permanent. And of course also having support letters from mental health professionals.

If that is truly the case that is something I'd def be interested in. I def would like to know more about your friend if you don't mind, and how they navigated all the red tape in order to get what they feel they needed.

I my self would love to transition in every way I could that is not seen.as in being on low HRT, doing bottom surgery, things of that nature. Untill the time I am ready to do the obvious stuff all at once like possible breast augmentation and facial surgery since then there is no hiding it, and you will be ready differently than you would before those surgeries. But no one will see my genitals, other than my wife. To the outside world they will assume I have what most men have and I don't care to correct them as long as I am trying to transition as secretly as possible until I get to that point where it will be obvious.

Well I feel I would welcome that over anything even remotely similar in the mens locker room with old men walking around naked like it's no big deal with everything hanging out for the world to see. Lol

Granted I never had that experience with anyone so that I am grateful. Lol but yes it is definitely a funny encounter for sure

Old people have no shame lol they have seen and done it all. Lol

Doing something in spite of someone may make you feel good short term like you're teaching them a lesson or something but in the long run you'll only be hurting yourself and your relationship. I know bc I used to do that all the time for little things and in the end I wish I would have just did what I wanted to do and if it upset someone else then that's on them to deal with their emotions. Now obviously in terms of a marriage and a union then is different. You're both a team. And just like a team your only as good as your weakest link right. So you can only transition as fast as they can handle assuming you want to try to keep your relationship in tact.

Sometimes I feel my wife doesn't want me to transition bc of her own body insecurities. She has always said how I pretty much look good in anything I wear even if it's her short jean shorts or her leggings or mine, even feminine underwear. I know thats not my issue to deal with but obviously bc I love her I def don't want to do anything to make it harder for her to deal and cope with her own issues as well.

I don't think I'd ever be more feminine than my wife, yet alone be remotely passable as a woman with out a loy of surgery. I have been bodybuilding and into fitness for over 24 years and during that time I have used steroids as well. So my frame is very very masculine frame. Granted I have a nice body for a man, I feel at best I could hope for is to be able to pass as a middle aged woman who used to bodybuild and had also used steroids which is why I'd look more masculine and have more muscle or bigger frame than most women.

Anyways sometimes I feel my wife gets jealous of me and my ability to maintain my body as I want. And I know she feels bad about herself (as she feels she been letting herself go) while I stay consistent and dedicated to my fitness. I feel that's why she doesn't like to go to the gym with me anymore. But again I'm doing what I need to do for me, for my soul, for myself so I don't go crazy and what ever else right, and it's not on me how she feels about herself bc of that.

You have to do what's best for you. No one else will make you a priority and your health a priority other than you. You will either sacrifice and give it up and be depressed and possibly kill yourself one day or at best harbor some serious resentment for her, or you can transition and do what's best for your mental health, and that doesn't mean you'll lose her. You might but you might not either. Only you know your wife that well. And if you go slow with time she maybe able to deal with more and more as you transition and include her in the process.

I had my first session a few months ago and I guess the biggest piece of advice is just go into it with an open mind and it might be a bit embarrassing but the more you can share and be open and honest about yourself including embarrassing things that you would never tell anybody ever it will only help the process it'll only help them understand you better as an individual person for them to make the best diagnosis possible.

Luckily for me my therapist is very well versed in the community and has seen and dealt with a lot of different topics and individuals. And I guess the biggest thing is don't lie or make it seem like things are better than their actually are cuz that will only prolong the process take more time and depending on your insurance or if you're paying out of pocket cost you more money in the long run.

A good therapist will kind of push your limits to see what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with to make forward movement and progress even if it's small things or even if it's trying to get you to have uncomfortable conversations with your family or friends for me it's forcing me to have conversations with my wife whereas we would both like to just ignore the elephant in the room and not deal with it but we all know how that would work out in the long run.

But yes definitely just go into it with an open mind and share as much as you can as comfortable as you can the more you share the more you'll probably become comfortable and develop a relationship with your therapist but again don't be afraid to move on and find someone else if you feel that you guys are not vibing

I definitely would love to get rid of my testicles and penis.

I would welcome breast and nice curves, but most of all I would want a vagina.