Hello RandomStrangerXMy name is
Sarah B and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
The name you have used is very strange to say the least. Is there a christian name you would like as your title or sign in name instead. It came be a female name if you like and the pronouns you have used can be changed if you would like.
The reason being is you have said you would rather be a woman and start hormone therapy and everything and being addressed correctly using the right pronouns would be more appropriate, especially around here on Susan's. Danielle our forum administrator would be able to help you that way.
You said in your post:
Quote from: RandomStrangerX on Yesterday at 06:13:03 PMHello everyone,
So, this would probably be a bit longer. Not an English native, but I hope to not make too many mistakes 
I'm 29y old man(at least from biological point of view), in my first relationship in many years and it's been going on for about 2 years now. Recently, I've started a therapy with my wonderful psychologist and first time in my life I've admitted in a serious way that if all of circumstances were right - I would rather be a woman, start hormone therapy and everything that's connected to that.
It's nice to be in a relationship and most important of all you are seeking help for your issues and problems. Telling you psychologist, about your feelings takes a lot of courage and in doing so you have began the steps necessary to achieve what you want. However sooner or later you will have to tell your partner because if you begin hormone treatment and then they may find out and the consequences can be devastating.
Your English is good so please do not worry about it, if you say something and we do not understand then we will ask questions to clarify.
Quote from: RandomStrangerX on Yesterday at 06:13:03 PMI've been having doubts about my gender since teenage years, but grew up in let's say - not very supportive environment. 2 people that I've hinted this kinda treated me like I'm crazy, that I won't do as a woman and it's insane and I must be joking. Unfortunately, some of my friends are rather not too open-minded about those things(wonderful people, but we just don't agree on LGBT matters).
What you have said, is extremely important and you have done the right thing and found out from those around you, that they are not very supportive of the idea of 'transgender' people and therefore you must be very careful in who you talk to about yourself and even then be extremely cautious in who you tell. The reason being is your safety and well being is more important than telling anyone.
Me personally I never tell anyone about my 'medical condition' and I never will, except in very limited circumstances and as a result I have never had any problems. I also never questioned my gender, don't ask me why, I just don't know, and still to this day I don't question my gender as I know, I'm female.
Quote from: RandomStrangerX on Yesterday at 06:13:03 PMComing back to my doubts, I've always been questioning my gender, ocassionaly tried women's clothes when it was possible, got my first set of pantyhose when I was maybe 15-16, of course nobody knew. I was always feeling that I don't belong in men's world and had trouble communicating with most of guys - mostly thanks to my father who were absent since my birth. Been raised only by women, so I feel attached to them more than just by simple relations but more like I should be one, but I'm not...
Your feelings and the way you are has nothing to do with an absent father or you being in the presence of women. My father was a very quite man and was never that much involved with his children. However, he as far as I know, never affected the way I feel and that I always wanted or longed to be a female.
Wearing women's or female clothing, tells you something about you. You know you like wearing them and they are more appropriate for you than any other clothing. It was the same for me, when I got dressed, wearing female or women's clothing, it felt right. I have always felt an affinity more towards women than men and I never did like the way men act towards women, yes there are exceptions.
Quote from: RandomStrangerX on Yesterday at 06:13:03 PMI've tried to silence that side of me for a long time, but since my relationship started(I'm mostly attracted to women just to mention) and it was getting more serious, silencing the woman's side of me was getting harder and harder and started to impact my mood and overall psychological contidion - that's why I've started therapy. It was hard to came out even to my psychologist, but luckily she knew where to dig and what questions to ask and it happened. Since then, I can't get my mind of it, that I should do something about it or someday it will just hurt my mind so bad, that I end up going insane. I just feel that I won't be able to function without being in peace with myself...
If you try to bury your feelings, one day somewhere or somehow, those feelings will come to bite you on your backside a lot more harder than your feelings are right now. There is no cure for those feelings. If there was then a solution would be all over the internet. You have stated that you have tried to suppress those feeling and in doing so have caused you problems. It is good to see a 'therapist' and you have done the right thing, by confiding in them.
Long story short, my feeling of wanting to be a female or women were growing stronger and stronger until I eventually left all my friends and family and I changed my life around by living my life as a women and eventually I had surgery. The fog, pressure, whatever you want to call it finally lifted from my mind and I have been able to live my life in peace and contentment ever since.
Quote from: RandomStrangerX on Yesterday at 06:13:03 PMI can't say I hope that someone here had some similar problems, as I would never hope for someone to go through what's happening to me right now, but I hope that maybe there's someone who've been brave enough to step up and take his/hers/x life in their hands...
So, everyone - have someone maybe was in similar position? What did you do? Most importantly, how your girlfriend/fiancée/wife, friends and family reacted if you decided to come out? Is it not too late? Should I try to scout the ground or just spill out everything at once?
There have been a lot of members here at Susan's Place, that have come and gone. However, the one thing that a lot of those members have are similar problems to what you are going through at the moment and all you have to do is ask for help and any number of them will come along and help you as much as they can or they will point you in the right direction.
You only tell anybody, what you feel comfortable in telling and remember be careful on what you reveal as this is a 'public forum' and everybody who visits Susan's will be able to read what you write. There are places here on Susan's and Susan's Discord where you can have private conversations with those people.
Remember members of Susan's will more than likely will come along and discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most of them have experienced these as well.
Quote from: RandomStrangerX on Yesterday at 06:13:03 PMI know there are rather many questions and I'll probably have even more, but maybe someone will answer.
Sorry for a long read, but if you actually reached the end, thank you.
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the various threads and forums. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new from new members.
You are more than welcome and it was not a long read, I enjoyed reading what you have to say and one of the things that is important here at Susan's is that members will take the time to sit and listen to what you have to say, because what you say provides knowledge for others to learn from.
Take care and all the best for your future.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!Sarah BOffical Greeter@LoriDee @Northern Star Girl @ RandomStrangerX
