@Michelle_K
Dear Michelle:
I am so glad to see that you were able to return to Susan's Place and that you
received a warm welcome from our Official Greeter @LoriDee
Please carefully read the important information and LINKS that she provided for
you in her Welcome Message.

As with many members that have returned after our site crash on January 01, 2024 ...
most lost postings, old accounts, messages, photos etc. 
Complete data loss after early 2019.

For more information about what happened please click the following links:

                    The New Years Outage and our Lost years
  https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246809.msg2258972.html#msg2258972

Also go to our site  ANNOUNCEMENTS
  https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,2.0.html

I hopefully might be able to help you recover some or all of your lost information,
lost member account, lost postings and pictures, etc. 
                HOWEVER
I will first need more information from you.  You can contact me at my private and
confidential E-Mail at alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Again, I am very glad that you have returned to Susan's Place and the Forum.

WELCOME BACK and my warmest regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator
                                      cc:  @LoriDee  @Sarah B

Quote from: Jenn104 on May 11, 2024, 08:28:12 AMI agree about hills- at some point its a matter of your head is stronger than your legs. "Shut up legs!" right? I've told my cycling mentor I am finishing, even if I walk a bike on a hill. Her response was "you will finish and you wouldn't be the only person walking a bike up a hill." She's done the event. With luck my youngest will get to see me finish as well as meet a close friend and her SO.

Yes, cycling up hills and any other hard core endurance activity meets the threshold of "Type 2 Fun". Not sure if you have heard that expression before, but Type 1 Fun is some fun activity that one enjoys while at it, while Type 2 Fun is an activity that is anything else than fun while doing it (thinking: "Remind me why I signed up for this?"), but at soon as it is over or shortly thereafter, in retrospect it was fun and the thinking goes: "Can we do that again?". I am sure those hills will fall into that category.

Quote from: Jenn104 on May 11, 2024, 08:28:12 AMMe being me department? I carry my id/credit card/health care id in a little plastic purse that reads "Bitches Get Stuff Done" with a girl in a defiant pose. It is alwauys in my back center pouch with cell phone and keys. I reach back and give her a tap when I need motivation. shhhh. our secret.

I love that approach. I need to find me a similar motivational token!

Quote from: Jenn104 on May 11, 2024, 08:28:12 AMSeriously-- the race has been a real positive for me. I am in the best shape of my life, bar nothing. Instead of a long, cold winter I had a goal, motivation to be active. I've made friends. I've wound up in a queer cycling group I really enjoy. Itsa kind of grand adventure. I figured out a while ago the race is a good metaphor for my own transition. I have under control what I can control... the rest is getting it done.

I love that too. The same goes for me when I practice rowing, whether on a machine in winter or in the boat in summer.

Hugs,

Heidemarie

There was a question about when or how it felt the first time wearing a dress. Like I said assigned male at birth. I would like to know why there are pictures of me as a baby wearing very feminine dresses. I say feminine as there was lace and ribbons. This was in 1949. There is another picture of me in a dress on my first birthday. That was the time I first stood alone.
There was a friend of my dad that kept coming around. I was about three or four years old when he no longer came to our house. It was some years later that I found out he had sexually abused his own daughter. He had run off to another state to avoid being arrested. Some time after my dad died, my mother went to visit him. I wondered how she knew where he was. When he came to visit our place he let it slip that he could be arrested by being back in the state. That's when the night terrors began. I would wake up pain on top of my head. At some point, I realized it was a memory of my hair being pulled. It was part of the sexual abuse he did to me. Quite likely, I was wearing a dress at the time.
Michelle

Hello Michelle,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome back to Susan's Place!

The Forum Administrator can contact you to see if your old account can be revived. Many accounts got deleted during a server crash early this year. The Team is working to get things back in order, and that includes tracking down old accounts.

As you know, we strive to make this a safe place to find information and to share your thoughts and comments. We all come from different backgrounds and represent a wide range of experiences. No matter who you may be, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

Some things have changed while you were away. In addition to welcoming you back, allow me to give you some information.

Please review the links at the end of this message, they include information that will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile. Until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at  LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, Welcome back to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee

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@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

After several months I tried to log in only to find my login did not work. So I re-registered.
In July of 2024, I tried rollerskating on the sidewalk outside my home. I fell down and broke both my wrists. In the emergency room I got listed as transgender female. I am assigned male at birth. It may have been the female under clothes that I was wearing, Or the fact that I look like I have been on female hormones.
A long time ago I changed my legal name to Michael. My mother refused to  use my new name. In fact she told everyone that they did not need to use my new name. It was only for legal purposes.
This year I have been to a new dentist and a new eye doctor. At both places I gave the name Michael, and both places mispronounced my name as Michelle. I decided to just go with it, and introduce myself as Michelle when I go in for appointments. Less than a week ago, I had cataract surgery on my second eye. I can see fairly well, although my eyes are still adjusting.
When I broke my wrists, in the hospital I let it slip that my female name was Michelle, and that was the name that was used the whole time. That was the first time I heard the name being used. Once while I was in my room I was a bit confused with the occupational therapist and the doctor discussing something. I kept hearing she and her, and then realized they were talking about me. About a week after I broke my wrists, I had surgery to put plates in my wrists. A week later, I was released to go home as I was to the point that I could take care of myself. I could tie my own shoes.
I've heard the term cutting, and I used the rubber band technique. One day I went through the motion of slitting my wrists without having a knife. It was a weird feeling, like a weight was lifted off me.
The ironic part is I now have scars on my wrists, but they are from the surgery to put plates in my wrists.
My dad cut his wrist when he slipped and broke a jar he was carrying. My mother cut her wrist when she broke my dads whiskey bottle in the sink.
Michelle

Blue blew

Tore

We are all different.  We do all have similar experiences.  We make react to them differently.  We have different circumstances.

Wishing you the best results!