Quote from: Lilis on May 08, 2024, 06:48:07 PMHi everyone, I'm Lilith or Lilis, and I'm thrilled to join this community! I'm a transwomen, but for as long as I can remember, there hasn't been one neat label that's felt quite right for our gender identity.  I say "our" because I share my body with a man, and we have walked a really exciting journey together  for many years. In this one body we both flow and change intermittently depending  on who is present, the changes and flow could be daily and (or) sometimes weekly, and just recently, the term 'gender fluid' has really resonated with us.

Hi Lilith! Welcome!

I think I understand your experience of fluidity, but in a different way. My wife identifies entirely as a trans woman, and I've been noticing her fluidity as she transitions. Like you said, she as a man is a different person than she as her other self. Unlike you, she is discarding the man self.

QuoteIt's has been a very challenging journey ever since puberty... We learned from the medical professionals a little bit of what was happening

My wife felt ashamed when she was the last person her age to go through puberty. She regrets that her parents and doctor never explained to her what happened. They put her on a pill that seemed to make puberty happen suddenly -- at age 16! Still, like you, many people commented on how non-masculine her body was through adulthood.

QuoteWe joined this community because exploring the feminine side of us has been both exciting and confusing at times. This forum feels like a welcoming space where we can connect with others who understand the complexities of our gender identity. Also we are considering hrt feminization therapy as discussed with our therapist...

Again, I am happy to be here and thanks for having me.

We all here hope you will share more about your gender identity as you untangle your confusion. Congratulations on being limber enough to flow between genders!

Quote from: Iztaccihuatl on Today at 12:16:22 AMHi Jenn,

I guess I am a bit late with my comments, I guess life got in the way. I really admire how busy you are keeping yourself occupied with tons of activities and as an advocate for our community. Aside from work and all those other extra-curricular activities there can't be much left for meals and sleep!

I love your story of renaming that conference room at your workplace and you couldn't have picked anybody better than Lynne Conway, as her web site had a huge impression on me when I first read it with gaping mouth some 20 years ago. As a software engineer I also enjoyed reading some of her professional background stories as well.

I have been following your cycling endeavors with particular interest, since I am heavily involved in sports myself and I have a soft spot for folks trying to accomplish a personal goal in any sports discipline. I like how you are getting in shape for the race and wish you the very best for your race in a little over a week from now. Go Jenn! I hope you'll find it an enjoyable experience and will continue to exercise on your bicycle with your friends.

Hugs,

Heidemarie

Hey There Heidemarie--

What a nice day to start my day. Welcome and don't sweat late. I am a dead head-- you're on the bus or off the bus.


Full disclosure-- I suggest Lynn Conway's name. I didn't get to decide. No worry.

Busy is good-- I read thru a lot of blogs early on. Most are sadly gone into the ether with the January reset. Regardless, I decided the people who seem the happiest don't wait for transition to happen, rather they jump in. I decided to jump. It worked.

I'll let you know how the gran fondo nyc adventure turns out. I am scared witless of the uphills. I am maybe more scared by the downhills - 45 mph is not my thing and a technical descent at 20 mph is a stretch. I am novice group rider, so the start has me nerved up. Love the new shoes but still getting used to the new pedals and clips. Then again, I never thought I'd feel ready and I kind of do. Yes! lots of cycling to come.

Happy Weekend,

~Jenn

Quote from: FinallyTrans on May 08, 2024, 08:31:32 PMit's time to be myself finally. I told my therapist this week and it felt like such a weight lifted.

Yes! Yay Norah!

Quote from: FinallyTransI am married, for almost 10 years, so next step is coming out to my wife. I have no idea how she will take it, I'm hopefully but readying myself for anything. I kept this in because I always worried how she would feel about me lying all of these years. I also have kids, but they are young enough to not hate me for this!
...
I'm hoping to meet some friends here, listen to stories, and get some advice as I move forward with my transition.

Any advice is appreciated!!

I hope we can help. What comes to mind is suggesting that you spend a few minutes each day imagining how your wife might respond. Start with the scariest stuff, then replace that with what you really want. Dwell on what you really want, to increase the chances of getting what you want.

I wrote previously,

Quote from: Moonflower on February 17, 2024, 06:12:01 PMI offer my perspective to significant others who feel shocked, betrayed, or severely disappointed by the discovery that their partner, parent, sibling, or child isn't who they thought they were...

I am the significant other/life partner/beloved/ardent admirer of a trans woman...

I discovered that the love of my life is a woman who has a few of the characteristics of a man, but not the core being of a man. Since she was 4 years old, she had put a lot of effort into being the boy and man that she was taught and pressured to be, and it never fit her...

For the past 25 years, I've been encouraging her to feel safe being herself at home alone and then with me. Now she's finding that being herself in public places can be safe and gratifying. Accompanying her is a thrill...

I enjoy hanging out at Susan's Place so much. Many women here have been hurt badly, like my very dear sweetheart. Many have heart-wrenching stories. Like you, they need an ear and open heart.

I hope you'll find this to be a healing place to work through your confusion, overwhelm, and frustration. I hope to encourage you to be a powerful advocate, but you are free to choose a different path. We wish you well, either way.

More recently, I realized that my post-mastectomy treatment decisions -- as a result of cancer -- were as gender affirming as transgender treatment. You are valid!

Quote from: coral on April 28, 2024, 12:54:21 PMSurprised  to see poor ratings for the Dotti patches.  I have used Dotti almost exclusively since I started nearly 5 years ago, as the brand my doctor prescribes and pharmacy provides. 

So far, my wife only has mild irritation from the Dotti patches.

Quote from: coralThe low transfer rate my be part of the reason I have experienced very slow results.  Of course not being allowed to have testosterone blockers has also been a major reason.

She's getting her blood levels checked next week. 🤞

Quote from: LoriDee on April 28, 2024, 02:15:52 PMMy Endo said that testosterone is a much more powerful hormone, so even a little can compete with estrogens.

Eventually, she took me off Spiro and had me taking Eligard (injection every three months) and Casodex tablets. I wonder if that might work for you.

Thanks. We'll consider it. ❤️

Quote from: JackintheBox on April 24, 2024, 11:22:39 AMHey folks, I'm new here

Welcome!

QuoteI'd like to just live a normal life without my past coming to haunt me.

Great question, which is so relevant to many of us. I report "misdirected" mail to my post office. They noted my address with a list of the names that we no longer want mail for, and they return each item to the sender.

QuoteIs there a way I can get my name change records sealed in Michigan?

In New York, you can ask for the record to be sealed when you request the court order. We have access to volunteer lawyers/Cornell University law students who provide free assistance to LGBTQIA+++ people. Perhaps you have a similar service?

broken   cloud

performer

musician

Hi Jenn,

I guess I am a bit late with my comments, I guess life got in the way. I really admire how busy you are keeping yourself occupied with tons of activities and as an advocate for our community. Aside from work and all those other extra-curricular activities there can't be much left for meals and sleep!

I love your story of renaming that conference room at your workplace and you couldn't have picked anybody better than Lynne Conway, as her web site had a huge impression on me when I first read it with gaping mouth some 20 years ago. As a software engineer I also enjoyed reading some of her professional background stories as well.

I have been following your cycling endeavors with particular interest, since I am heavily involved in sports myself and I have a soft spot for folks trying to accomplish a personal goal in any sports discipline. I like how you are getting in shape for the race and wish you the very best for your race in a little over a week from now. Go Jenn! I hope you'll find it an enjoyable experience and will continue to exercise on your bicycle with your friends.

Hugs,

Heidemarie

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