@Sarah B Yes exactly, that is true and ive always had feelings since i was a young kid that i might be trans and crossdressed and makeup, it felt more natural and comfortable than wearing male clothes. So that was a red flag that i wasnt the typical "male". My physical body doesnt harmoniously match my authentic gender identity of my brain and personality and behavior and habits. When i wear female clothes and put on makeup its more obviously shown and i dont have to pretend or be a fake male.
I do need to grow my hair out a bit more i would prefer, my hair is short right now and very male style. My glasses have round cute lenses like most women wear, i used to have more of square of rectangle ones. Im thinking about showing a picture of myself on here. Im curious and wondering what you all would think. Of course not being on HRT yet i am still retaining much maleness in my looks though. Im a little shy about showing pictures of myself, recently i got involved with a woman who said i was fat and disgusting by me sending her my picture. Very rude, disrespectful, and judgmental and hurtful of her to say.
I am quite nervous and scared about talking to a therapist and getting on HRT and medical intervention in order to transition but at the same time if my therapist declares that i should then it will be liberating and confirm what i always suspected of myself. Its an exciting thing to think about and a huge change in my life that will be beneficial and help me in the end i think, to be able to live physically as the woman i always been inside. I thought about online sources but a doctor's supervision and care is much safer. I may have to pay out of pocket though or with credit card as i heard my health insurance doesnt cover it which is sad and a pity. It used to but now it doesnt anymore. It doesnt really matter though, i can definitely afford it and continue to pay for it for years. To put it simply enough, it will be worth it to do.
Its good to be here and thank you for your support and considerate words, it can be lonely especially since i live alone. I might go to a support group, there's a possibility i can make more friends who live closer to me also and share our similar experience, perspectives, and journey being trans.
I think i'd pass, im kind of a big girl as in tall but not very manly looking outside of having annoying hair that i want removed. Im not muscular, already have kind of breast development going on due to medication i take for another issue, the reason for that i might make a post about in regards to HRT but wont talk about in this thread even though its a concern. My breasts are small but not every woman has D cup breasts. It also helps when putting a bra on when crossdressing its not just a flat chest making the bra feel more natural and comfortable. What i dont like the most is when people compare you with another trans and say that person looks better. Its not just about how you look being trans. It goes much deeper and in depth and not so superficial or shallow.
Its complicated and tough, i dont know her views on trans people yet but before i straight up tell her i might be trans i might ask her some questions pertaining to transgender. I dont want to lose her or have her stop talking to me and abandon me. I am really in love with her and enjoy being together with her. Even if she has unfavorable and negative views and doesnt approve, if she accepts me out of love then that's all i really need. I dont know if she likes other women too and is bisexual but ill find out eventually.
Ill explain more details about myself in other posts but my male given name is Chris, just for starters. So my name should be Christina i think, in fact Lunaria is just a nickname i use.
Edit: The girl also said i was ugly and probably never been in a relationship which she is wrong, ive been in many. I ended up blocking her, moving on from that nonsense.
