My old blog was a casualty of the crash. I can't re-create it, and there is no need to. But I can start a new one.
I first posted here on Susan's Place eight and a half years ago, August 06, 2015. Wow, that is a big chunk of my life! I was a scared guy, wondering if I might really be transgender. Thanks to support from the members here, I soon realized that I indeed was transgender.
You can see my timeline in my signature. I came out to my wife in 2016, thanks directly to the prompting of one member in particular (you know who you are), who nagged me until I got past that difficult hurdle. Since then, I did all the "standard" transition steps: therapy, HRT, "full time", paperwork / legal documents, GCS. I have been living as my true self for a few years now and loving it. I should have done it years ago. Oh, yeah, I am 69.
Life is pretty good these days. No one in my family or in the general public gives me grief. I pass well enough that no one is nasty to my face. I may make some people wonder, but not enough for them to commit to verbal abuse. I do worry about the direction that society is turning. I watch with horror the rise of hatred south of the border and I see the same beliefs starting here. The future looks just a bit too "interesting" for comfort.
Back in my youth, I was a pilot and flying instructor in the RCAF. Good times back then, but someone like me was not a good fit for the military forces of those times. I would have been turfed out if I or they had known. I didn't know myself, but I did know I didn't fit, so I got out. I still get on well online with some of my old colleagues from back then.
I spent the rest of my career working in IT. Not nearly as exciting, but it paid the bills and made good use of my skills.
I got married late, in my late 40s. We are still together more than 20 years later.
I have had a lifelong interest in astronomy, and my main hobby these days is astrophotography.
@KathyLauren Dear Kathy:I am so very glad to see that you have successfully been able to
get back onto the Forum. Welcome back.
Yes indeed, the big New Year's Day site crash took out many of our
member accounts, postings, private messages, etc...
You will notice that the Forum is not quite the same as it was.
Navigating around the site will take some time to get used to.
The site came back as it was 3 or 4 years earlier so many of the piece by piece
improvements and updates that our staff had performed in the last few years
were also missing.
The staff has been working overtime to put the pieces back together but
that will be an ongoing task for a while longer.
I advise you to find your way to
ANNOUNCEMENTS https://www.susans.org/index.php/board,2.0.htmlYou will be able to read what went on before and after the crash .... and some
of the changes that are taking place with the Forum.
Well, the GOOD NEWS and a positive way to look at all of this is that we all
got a
"Do-Over" button ... so, for many that means a fresh start.
AGAIN, WELCOME BACK,HUGS, Danielle
Hi Kathy,
I joined a year ago this February, so I had seen many of your posts but really didn't know your history. I have trouble keeping up with new posts. I wish I had time to go back to fill in a little history sometimes.
Anyway, I glad you did a new introduction. It was nice to learn a little about you, and I'm very happy that things are going so well for you.
Warm Regards,
Paulie
Welcome back Kathy!
Glad you're embracing the post-crash world!
January 20th. Seven years ago today, I applied my first hormone patch and took my first spiro pill. It marked the beginning of my physical transition. I had put most of the fear behind me and was excited about the future.
The time since then has lived up to my hopes: it has been good. I completed my transition and am getting on with the rest of my life. Not everything has gone perfectly, but I can't complain. I am enjoying my life as myself; it is so much easier than pretending to be that guy all the time. I am accepted by associates and strangers. (I don't really have friends as such, but that is more a result of being "on the spectrum" than anything directly trans-related.)
I have some existential dread about life after the next election (expected in 2025). The forces of evil have been building. Who knows how bad it will get? But for now, the blue meanies are keeping their distance.
Congratulations on your anniversary, Kathy! Although seven years seems like a long time, it really isn't. It's amazing how much someone's life can change in that amount of time.
I think many of us are worried about the next election cycle, but I'm hopeful.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
Lovely photo, Kathy. I too live with existential dread.
Although health care is government-funded here, my wife and I get supplemental coverage through her pension plan. It covers, among other things, prescription medication. I was getting 75% of my HRT prescription covered.
However, her pension plan recently switched service providers. The new plan covers 80%, but only for generic meds. I tried the generic Estradiol patches when I started, but ended up with a worsening allergic reaction. So for the last few years, I have been using the Estradot brand, with better results. I was afraid I would have to pay the difference, since there was no way I was going to go back to getting my skin burned from the generic.
Supposedly, generics and brand name meds are pharmacologically identical. In this case, the physical forms of the two are quite different. The generic patches are enormous, about 2" x 3", compared to the Estradot, which are about 1" x 0.5" for the same dose. The adhesive on the generic was water-soluble, so they came off in the shower, and it burned my skin when it did stick. The adhesive on Estradot patches does not burn my skin, and it sticks in the shower. The down side of not being water-soluble is that you need bath oil to remove the adhesive when you remove the patches: no big deal. Because of the smaller size of the patches, I can go a full month before I have to re-use a patch of skin, whereas I was irritating each bit of skin once a week on the generic.
Last month, the insurer sent us a form to request an exception. I filled it out, got my doctor to sign off on it, and sent it in a couple of weeks ago. Today, we got the response: I am covered for the brand name patches! YAY! :D
Quote from: KathyLauren on January 27, 2024, 12:35:53 PMLast month, the insurer sent us a form to request an exception. I filled it out, got my doctor to sign off on it, and sent it in a couple of weeks ago. Today, we got the response: I am covered for the brand name patches! YAY! :D
That's great news! I was using Estradot patches before switching to injections, and it was extremely rare for one of those patches to come off accidentally. I'm happy to hear they approved the exception.
Love always -- Jessica Rose
I am starting to feel a sense of impending doom. I used to feel pretty good about the country I live in (Canada). But last year, two provinces (New Brunswick and Saskatchewan) changed their policies to require forced outing of trans kids in schools. Last week, Alberta announced new policies to deny trans kids proper medical treatment.
The right-wing policies in the US have metastasized across the border and are growing here. We have a Conservative government here in Nova Scotia. Allegedly, they are still "progressive" conservatives, but that may be in name only. That stuff could easily happen here. The next federal election will be no later than 2025, and it is very possible that a Conservative government will be elected. There is nothing progressive about them: they even dropped the word "progressive" from their name a few years ago. They are trumpists. So even if some provinces remain civilized, the feds may over-rule them. Our only hope is that our Supreme Court is less corruptible than our politicians.
It feels like it is only a matter of time before they come for me. I don't know what form my particular persecution will take. Maybe an excessively conscientious Gestapo officer at a bathroom door. Maybe neighbours burning down my house. Sooner or later, it feels like the stuff is going to hit the fan. It is hard not to see a rapidly-descending anvil right over my head.
Don't worry, I am not about to do anything self-destructive. I fully intend to fight the bastards any way I can. But I had hoped for worry-free senior years. I didn't expect I'd have to put on a Xena or Wonder Woman costume and go out to fight. *Sigh*
Stay strong, Kathy. I moved to Arkansas a few years ago, a state that ranks dead last for LGBTQ+ equality: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247192.msg2262575.html#msg2262575
I have never been threatened here, no angry mobs carrying pitchforks and torches have showed up. There are pockets of support even here, primarily around Little Rock and Fayetteville. While I am hopeful that things will get better, I do what I can not to bring attention to myself. This doesn't mean that I hide, it just means that I don't fly flags, I don't put stickers on my car or in my windows. I do wear what I want to wear, I go where I want to go, and I use the ladies room.
Be yourself, enjoy who you have become, and don't let the people from the 'dark side' spoil the triumph of finally being who you were meant to be.
Love always -- Jess
Quote from: KathyLauren on February 04, 2024, 01:03:46 PMI am starting to feel a sense of impending doom.
May you see ways through the mess that present opportunities for you to shine as you.
Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 04, 2024, 01:51:23 PM...I do what I can not to bring attention to myself. This doesn't mean that I hide, it just means that I don't fly flags, I don't put stickers on my car or in my windows. I do wear what I want to wear, I go where I want to go, and I use the ladies room.
Be yourself, enjoy who you have become, and don't let the people from the 'dark side' spoil the triumph of finally being who you were meant to be.
Love always -- Jess
Perfectly stated, as usual :) I so agree with this life strategy.
Hi Kathy! How did I not see this. Hugs Girlfriend.
Donica
Here's a more uplifting story. I may have talked about it before, but it would have been lost in the server crash.
Two years ago, I came down with pneumonia. It started with a cold that I couldn't shake. My wife was starting to get concerned. Then we had a power failure in a blizzard and I had to go outside and pull-start the generator. The effort darned near killed me. I got it going, but I collapsed inside the front door gasping for air. That's it, she said, tomorrow, as soon as the driveway is clear, you are going in an ambulance.
The neighbours came over with a snowblower and plowed out the driveway, then they called 911 for me (since they had a working phone: we didn't). They held me in the ER for a few hours, checking me for covid (negative) and generally assessing me. I didn't bring a wig with me in the ambulance, so my presentation was lacking. Still, I only got misgendered by staff once, when a nurse who was new on shift brought me a male pee-bottle instead of a commode. She came back after reading my chart and apologized profusely.
I ended up getting transferred to ICU for a few days, then to a general ward, then back to ICU again when one lung collapsed. I was eventually transferred to a hospital in the big city an hour away. I spent a total of nearly three weeks in hospital, and in all that time, I was treated professionally by everyone. The only unprofessional treatment I got was when the ICU doctor overdosed me on fentanyl when inserting a drain tube into my chest. (Yay for naloxone!) That had nothing to do with being trans, though.
In the city hospital, I was in a 3-bed room with other patients who came and went. One lady in another bed misgendered me as I returned to my bed from the bathroom. I can't blame her - no wig. But as soon as I told her my name, she was good.
It was a scary adventure into the health care system. I got used to doctors looking at my X-rays and saying they had never seen a pneumonia that bad. Not what a patient wants to hear! A year later, my respirologist reiterated how bad it was and told me that the only reason I recovered was because of the IV antibiotics.
I am now recovered as much as I am going to get. It's not bad, but far from a full recovery. My right lung is badly scarred. Although the physical volume of my lungs is near normal, I can't get as much oxygen from the air as I once did. That limits how hard I can exercise, and will likely be permanent.
I was pleasantly surprised at how well the various professionals and other patients accepted me as a poorly-turned-out trans woman. It gives me hope for the future.
@KathyLauren Dear Kathy: Your "special day" arrives tomorrow on Saturday, March 30th.
Another year older and another year wiser... as the old saying goes.Wishing you a very, very H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y :icon_bunch: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_bunch:
I trust that you will have a wonderful time celebrating another year....
Cake? Candles? Ice Cream" Gifts? Cards from loved ones?
My HUGS and best wishes to you.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl
(https://i.imgur.com/snhfvPol.jpg)
I will get in early, happy birthday dear XXX
ps same as one of my granddaughters.
Thanks for the "birthday" wishes, Danielle and Davina.
Quote from: Northern Star Girl on March 29, 2024, 05:36:25 PMCake? Candles? Ice Cream" Gifts? Cards from loved ones?
No cards or gifts, since this is only my official Internet "birthday". My actual gifts-and-cards real birthday is classified information. But we did have some very nice raspberry cheesecake for supper, so it's all good. And I appreciate that it's the thought that counts. :D
@KathyLauren Dear Kathy:There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an additional birthday, your Internet Birthday... :)
... it gives you a reason and perhaps an excuse to have cake !!!!
HUGS, DanielleQuote from: KathyLauren on March 29, 2024, 07:27:49 PMThanks for the "birthday" wishes, Danielle and Davina.
No cards or gifts, since this is only my official Internet "birthday". My actual gifts-and-cards real birthday is classified information. But we did have some very nice raspberry cheesecake for supper, so it's all good. And I appreciate that it's the thought that counts. :D
What a light show last night! The aurora on May 10th is said to be the best since 1938. It certainly was spectacular here in Nova Scotia, where we seldom get good auroras.
This was taken by my automated all-sky camera, which takes pictures every minute, all night. The concentric circles are centred on the zenith. As you can see, the aurora covered the whole sky, well down to the southern sky.
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53713800495_99de4a61ea_z.jpg)
Cool!