I bought my first wigs on eBay. Sadly, the quality was crap, but they were cheap. I have a few I got on Amazon. The nice thing about shopping online is you don't need to go out to get one. The downside is that sometimes the colors are not what you pictured. But if you look around you can get some real bargains. Measure your scalp so you know what size you need. This could be an option for you.

I have gotten my wigs through the VA for the past four years. They have a contract with a local hair salon that also sells wigs. She doesn't have many in stock, so we sit and chat and look through the catalogs and she orders them. You could contact a local stylist to see if they sell wigs. Tell them that you are transgender and would like help with hairstyles. I think you will find that they will be most accepting and helpful. For my first appointment, she had me come in on a Saturday when she had no other customers, so I got a private consultation.

Maybe something like this could help you out. Once you get past that initial fear, it does get easier. Then when someone compliments your hair, you will be grinning ear to ear. Trust me. I know.

Fingers crossed and thinkin' good thoughts.

WOOD   WOULD

Quote from: LoriDee on Today at 11:55:01 AMThanks, Starryskyy. Very well said.

I am in the same boat. When in makeup, wigs, and dressed I am often called "ma'am". But it isn't practical to do everything I need to just to take out the trash, check the mail, or run a quick errand. I don't have much in the way of men's clothing anymore. What I do have, I call my "grubbies" that I wear while prospecting or rock-hounding. Throw on a sweatshirt and hat and keep my head down. Most everyone in the apartment complex knows me because I was the first tenant to move in after the building was built. Most are accepting and supportive, but there are a few that I avoid.

I totally get what you mean. All we can do is keep on keeping on. 

I do just fine in shorts, simple skirts, and tshirts. Stuff anyone can wear but if I'm heading downtown I'll often just go for skirts because even if I'm wearing a hat it's just that much more risky and I don't have a good natural wig yet but when I find the right one that'll put me much more at ease. I have wanted to try panning here but I'm convinced where I am in the northeast US there is nothing but at least cool stones. I'm in the forest a lot but largely just treating it like my second living room. It can't get summery outside fast enough. The complex I'm in isn't too bad and I'm friendly with some of the neighbors though they don't know much about me save for just seeing me almost every day.

Quote from: Sarah B on Today at 01:54:54 PMHello Starryskyy

My name is Sarah B and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that Lori, my fellow team member, Maid Marion and ChrissyRyan have already greeted you warmly to Susan's.

You mentioned in the Introduction Forum the following about yourself.

You do not have to hope, Susan's Place is a place where you will be helped as much as possible by the members of Susan's and in doing so they will help you to 'smooth things out' for you, in your journey to achieve your dreams.

You also mentioned in the 'Ebb and flow' thread the following:

As you can gather other members of Susan's have mentioned the gender frustrations or gender dysphoria that they suffer.  They also mention how they also deal with those problems on a day to day basis.

You are right, you never shout who you are from the rooftops, it is never wise to do so anyway.  I never tell anyone about myself ever.  I never had any obstacles and if there were, I was prepared to jump over or walk around them.

When I changed my life around, there was only one thing that did not change and that was of course, Me!  In addition I never thought about my gender even when I filled out forms asking me my gender!

You say you are extremely feminine and yet you get misgendered all the time and you know why that is the case.  Lori has already mentioned to you in her post, what she does and she has the experience in regards to wigs.  Just look at her avatar.  However, the head shape can only or usually be overcome with FFS.

Seeking specialists or people with knowledge in the area of wigs, like Lori, you will be able to improve your looks accordingly.  Two other things that you could do to improve your looks and that is to be on HRT (if you are not already on) will make your face more feminine and to get rid of your facial hair.

There are several ways to do this, one wax your face. Two have IPL treatment and or have electrolysis done, or a combination of all three.  If you have these treatments then I almost sure you will pass or look more feminine and hence get gendered correctly more often.

You should not have to hide yourself and if you are able to pass or get gendered correctly then your self esteem will improve no end.  Your safety is paramount and you have to ensure that you remain safe at all times.  Sometimes it is wise to seek help from a 'gender therapist' to help you along.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in other forums and threads or just add more information to what you have already posted in the Introductions Forum.  It would be appreciated very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about visitors to Susan's

In addition members of Susan's will come along and more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most of us have experienced these as well.

Take care and all the best for the future and if you need help please do not hesitate to ask.  We are here to help you as much as possible.  You are lucky in a sense you have a wealth of information at your fingers tips.  Yet when I had changed my life around I virtually had none.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Sarah B
Offical Greeter
@LoriDee
@Northern Star Girl
@Starryskyy

Thanks for the warm welcome! I'm currently looking into permanent removal, I heard laser takes many passes over to be effective and electro is a lot more effective but also much more painful. Will be asking around on wigs in the near future, I tried to grow it out before but it doesn't even grow down, I'm sensitive to a lot of hair products limiting me more, and I've been sick for almost a year now only starting to get better after getting PFS (post finasteride syndrome) in the process. It's been a trainwreck alright. My hair is definitely is causing me the most distress appearance wise. I'm really in the process of rebuilding my life in general now

I have the resources though, already am in therapy for it and CPTSD though you could say they're one in the same in my situation. My freezing episodes are the worst, probably my last remaining major one's. It doesn't help though that my real circumstances perpetuate that one and I'm hardwired to see danger everywhere which not feeling my hair there or in the wrong places can bring on easily because I feel like I look so strange and can't not stand out. Usually just deal with occasional mocking and slurs thrown cowardly from cars but all it takes is one crazy loser for things to really go south. On days I'm much more confident though the bulk of it doesn't really get to me as easily so really with me it's a matter of simply getting and keeping things together enough to snowball things in a positive direction. I should in the mean time before all this grow my hair out again and simply try every product I can to find the single one that'll at least hold it down my immune system is ok with which may be like finding a needle in the haystack. I'm sure I also have other options I'm not aware of though.

Relax.
Things will work themselves out.
Breathe.

Hugs!

Ok.... *deep sigh*

First set of friend notes sent. Six in total.  This is who we settled on as "phase one" on Sunday on the ride home from the beach.

Have to say I'm more nervous about this than I was about my sisters. Not because of any political leaning or prejudices ... but, I think, because part of you thinks that family kind of HAS to stick with you through thick and thin... but friendship is a bond of shared experience, interests, and support. And you're worried that something that could monumentally upset that balance could shake it, I suppose?

I don't know, honestly. I just know that I feel it in the pit of my stomach. And I shut down my email, and (successfully this time) turned off the haptics on my watch... which I have covered by my sleeve and I'm trying very hard not to peak at.  At least for an hour or so. I need to decompress a bit.

You illuminated. Not a whiff of whining.

Meddle metal

Happy birthday to each of you!

Chrissy

Quote from: LoriDee on Today at 04:34:19 PMChrissy,

Not exactly. The harder rocks like agates and jaspers will get nice and shiny. The softer ones like Fuchsite are too porous so they get smooth but not really shiny. The problem is that softer rocks have to be tumbled with care because they get worn down pretty quickly and can break apart. So they don't get as long of a cycle in the tumbler.

I have some "exotics" that I will be tumbling soon. Amethyst is a hard stone, but like quartz, it can fracture and bruise easily. So they need special care too. I have some jade, amethyst, tiger eye, amazonite, and quartz ready to start next week. I have to add "padding" in the form of small stones so they don't crash into each other as they tumble. I am anxious to see how they come out.

Lori,

That is interesting.

Chrissy