For the record, I'm not sure I mentioned that I have a bottom surgery consult on July 15. This will be a HUGE step for me (if I go through with it)! I have been known to be a big chicken!

assuming all outwardly things changed, all aspects point to the 'cis' nomenclature, I would likely still be trans to myself. I don't think I'll ever be done. My head is always holding back, seeing myself as different and other. My goal, as possibly unrealistic as it may be, is never be pointed at and told "That's a man" or "She used to be a man" or any other variation thereof. However, in my head, I cannot forget who I was or what I went through to get where I am now.

Perhaps that's part and parcel to my life since I've never felt that I fit anywhere.

and so, I am still going to therapy, to help get those little brain nigglers under control.

Hooray for you, Allie. And hooray for your wife, for she gets to keep your pals in her world. And most of all, hooray for your friends, for they get to keep Allie and you in their worlds.

Contentious

Four fore

Quote from: big kim on Today at 01:05:45 AMCornish pasty

I am tempted to have one for breakfast one day soon!

Probably always transgender.  We would hope we would continue to grow in many ways.

dissention

weight   wait

Hi Starryskyy

You said in your post above:

Quote from: Starryskyy on Yesterday at 10:37:16 PMYou know what makes me really mentally ill? Growing up like this and the trauma of being violated again and again in attempts to change me. I have much younger spent too much time thinking I just had to try harder because you know men need to try to be men right?

I'm sorry to hear that you were violated. No one deserves to be treated like that.

The text that I have emphasised in what you wrote is one of the most salient points that kept crossing my mind,  I did not like what men did to women, it actually disgusted me no end and I did not want to be like them.

Quote from: Starryskyy on Yesterday at 10:37:16 PMAll that conversion therapy was really the equivalent of throwing a fish at a tree and wondering why it won't climb.

They tried to use conversion therapy on gays and it did not work out either.

Quote from: Starryskyy on Yesterday at 10:37:16 PMMaybe care in the future if mankind could just get over the fact that gender and the underlying genetic components of it are not as simple as many want to believe would get even more advanced and effective.

There was one thing that I knew at some stage and that was, nature stuffed up.  I was very naive when I changed my life around and it was the lack of knowledge and information that I had to deal with at the time.

There is nothing wrong with us Period, it is those, who say we are and then try to fix or correct our way of thinking, not realising that in certain circumstances you cannot fix nature.

Quote from: Starryskyy on Yesterday at 10:37:16 PMWhat makes me the most sick is when cases with unfortunate results of ruthless abuse are used to go "See look how mentally ill and sickly they are!". Maybe if I was given the actual care I needed when it mattered I wouldn't be so messed up and chronically ill right now!

Once again I'm so sorry to hear that you were violated. You are not mentally sick and its those who perpetrate violence on others that are sick perversely so.  Its also good to hear that you are seeking help with your issues.

Susan's has a place where one can talk in real time and if you want you can have private conversations with other members if you so wish.  The link is: Susan's Discord Channel.

In addition there is list of resources, that should you need one.  Then you can find out more by visiting those websites.

Here are some resources if you need them. Transgender Help Links

Take care and if you want to talk or vent then you can do it here and we will listen.

Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter