Hi I'm Bon Bon, i'm a 24 year old ftm nonbinary dude... i'm severly socially anixous but trying real hard! i like video games, cartoons, animation and a bunch of things. and just trying to get better in touch with the comuunity and answers i suppose +A+"  so hello!

Hey Bon Bon,

Welcome to the far side!  Way cool that you are reaching out tho you deal with the social anxiety stuff.  Good on ya as our Aussie friends say.  I am gona bet you have a lot in common with others here who seem to share your interests.

thanks for dropping bi and saying Hi!

I understend that I was not binary when I learned about the existence of a gender scale, I was always attracted by the trans theme, but the cis-gender transition did not seem attractive to me
I would like a hrt without a chest or small chest and ffs
socially I don't really want a transition but maybe my opinion will change

Welcome Dima!

We have creative visions and dreams that inspire.  We often have clear desires and specific ideas of how we hope a transition might turn out.  We don't have a real map or any guarantees, however.  We are drawn to this journey.

It still starts with taking steps toward self acceptance and an authentic life.  All the best dear Dima in realizing your dreams.

Quote from: Tessa James on December 07, 2018, 04:45:22 PM
You and we other enby folks have so many more options outside of the lines and outside of the box.  How is your relationship with the rest of the queer world now?  I find it interesting to be so outside many other realms and part of a growing awareness that gender is an individual experience.  Each of us unique in expression and form.  See ya round

I find it odd because I'll often hear "the binary is the bad thing" but then see "you must adhere to the binary to be valid!" at the same time from folks anywhere on the gender spectrum. It's confusing to be honest.

For me personally, gender is so beyond anything we have limited it to and it's beyond any sets of behaviors or ideas. It's a feeling, like how we know we are meat popsicles or how we know whether we are artists, architects, doctors, etc. It can't be explained except we know it to be true to ourselves. That's where my gender is: those amorphous feelings that lead you to who you are. That's how I experience it, anyway—I hope that made some sense.

And you're right, the binary is for Barbie and Ken. It doesn't reflect reality and it's leftovers of the patriarchy as well as colonialist implications.

Hey Gene,

What a trip!  Yes, being enby can mess with some folks and their insistence on simple formulas.  We have heard that people who are trans and lean toward female are "all women" and people who are trans and are more male are "all men".
We go through an endless series of games and memories to validate our safe place in a largely binary gendered world.  Some of my friends and acquaintances suggest i muddy the waters by expressing a non binary perspective.  Apparently it is difficult for some folks to envision diversity even within our community.

It seems to me that when we are early in our transition and info gathering we may wish a strong identification with the group when being transgender may be all that we have in common.  We have little to prove and more to gain from just being free to be ourselves.

Hiya cuties! I'm a trans*masculine (he/they pronouns) and very new here.

I was assigned female at birth and started testosterone about 5(?) years ago and have had top surgery. I used to identify as genderqueer but have stayed with trans* and non-binary for awhile. I have a relatively normative masculine presentation (to my dismay sometimes), so most of the people around me just use he/him pronouns, but I feel definitively non-binary. Sometimes I feel sad that I've lost aspects of my femaleness with hormone therapy, but it's all relative and I'm much happier now than I was a few years ago even.

Anyway, nice to meet you all! <3

Hello Holden,

How very good of you to stop by and introduce yourself.  Many of us consider our transition to have started when we "came out" or started HRT.  Some of us also recognize a much longer social transition that may be life long.  I felt betrayed by my body during puberty and desperately tried to be some kind of boy/man thing.  As that continued to fail I tried to find transition help in the 90s and failed then too.  I have more consistently moved toward androgyny while being queer.  Currently non binary fits me best although the term is insufficient and contains a negative connotation.  We can clearly see that new definitions are being created every day and I look forward to that.

I think many of us are in the zone, range or place of fluidity.  For some there is a spectrum and I often feel an amalgam with a unique gender that contains elements of all of them!  We may readily know what its like to be seen as male or female. 

I have met a number of trans masculine people who miss some sense of identity or engagement with the lesbian and feminist world.  One friend describes feeling like a butch warrior and then after transition going on to being just another guy with less of a group identity.

How about you?  That "much happier" part of your life sure makes sense from here but we pay a price eh?

Hi, I'm Alexandria, I identify as non-binary and a transwoman. I'm pre-transition right now technically only on finasteride for hair loss. Hope to start pellet implants soon.

I like art, music, cooking, working on cars/trucks/motorcycles, and having fun with family and friends.

My pronouns are they/them and she/her. I started coming out September 2017, found a gender therapist in November of that year.

I first came out as genderfluid, but over time I've found myself drawn more towards my femme side. I still identify as non-binary because it's just a feeling I've had for many years. I'm in my mid 30s.

Good morning and welcome SamuraiMonkey,

Congratulations on your evolving sense of feeling about gender and identity.  Many of us do advocate for and have benefitted from the assistance of an experienced gender therapist.   

I hope you will share more with us about whats going on and take the opportunity to look around, read a bit and ask questions.  Nice to come in outta the cold?

Good to hear you are still having fun along the way too.  See ya round the Place.

I'm Devlyn, I'm non-binary and genderfluid. I present full time as female, and on my boy days that
poor son of a gun has to endure long hair, breasts, and skinny jeans. 

Nice to meet you all!

Hugs, Devlyn

I thought I was a woman until my breast cancer treatments. I was so GLAD that my surgeon was OK doing a mastectomy with a flat closure! Then, my oncologist recommended removing my uterus, tubes, and ovaries because of my genetic risk factors, and I was so GLAD to be rid of them!

I mourned the loss of the uterus and breasts that nurtureed my kids, and am glad to get closer to the androgynous person whom I have always preferred being.

It seemed terribly unfair for me to be getting gender affirmation surgery when my sweetheart was the one who reallllllly wanted it, but now it looks like that's happening for her. Hooray!

Hello there

Let's do it... I am Emma. And Jerome. Let me explain.
Personally, I've literally suffered my gynecomastia (almost a B cup... some would say I'm lucky...) since I was a child (hormone injections for my pregnant mother so she could have me, delayed puberty, late T), until recently when I finally realized that the little voice in my head that's been talking to me since I was a child when I wonder and think, was a girl... Looking back, it's all very clear from my experience. Yes, I'm 2 in my head, I consider myself two-gendered, two-spirited, whatever you like, but for me, it's neither madness nor a dissociative personality disorder.
Following this realization, I lost a lot of weight, and of course my breasts partly lost weight too... And what I considered to be something that absolutely had to be hidden in my life as a young teenager, a young man, then a mature man, married with 2 children, is now at the center of my preoccupations: yes, I love my breasts, yes, I'm a girl in my head too! So, I'm lucky that my wife has always known me with this gynecomastia, and I hope to be able to hide the fact that I'm starting a transition to find myself, to exist, to find my breasts again, even if it's incomplete, without losing those I love... I could get fatter again, but no, I don't want to and I can't... it's become a health problem, it's just not possible.
My feminine side, my little voice, needs to live, alongside my masculine side. So yes, I have work to do on myself, but above all, I need to live and blossom... So I hope that I will find the advice and help I need to fulfill myself.

Hello Emma and Jerome,

Thank you for sharing your journey with such openness and honesty. Your experiences, from grappling with gynecomastia to recognizing and embracing your dual-gender identity, reflect a profound personal evolution. It's inspiring to hear how you've come to cherish aspects of yourself that you once felt compelled to conceal. The self-awareness and acceptance you demonstrate in acknowledging both your feminine and masculine sides is truly commendable.

Your commitment to self-discovery and living authentically, balanced with the love and consideration for your family, is a testament to your strength and compassion. It's clear that you're not just seeking a transition, but a harmonious existence that honors all facets of your identity.

The path to self-fulfillment is unique and sometimes challenging, but remember, you're not alone. There's a community ready to offer support, advice, and the understanding you need. Your journey is valid, and your desire to live and blossom as your true self is both courageous and beautiful.

Best wishes on your continued journey of self-exploration and self-acceptance. May you find all the advice and help you need on Susan's Place to thrive as both Emma and Jerome.

Susan Larson
Founder
Susan's Place Transgender Resources

@m-a
Dear Emma and Jerome:
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Quote from: m-a on January 23, 2024, 12:12:58 PMHello there

Let's do it... I am Emma. And Jerome. Let me explain.
Personally, I've literally suffered my gynecomastia (almost a B cup... some would say I'm lucky...) since I was a child (hormone injections for my pregnant mother so she could have me, delayed puberty, late T), until recently when I finally realized that the little voice in my head that's been talking to me since I was a child when I wonder and think, was a girl... Looking back, it's all very clear from my experience. Yes, I'm 2 in my head, I consider myself two-gendered, two-spirited, whatever you like, but for me, it's neither madness nor a dissociative personality disorder.
Following this realization, I lost a lot of weight, and of course my breasts partly lost weight too... And what I considered to be something that absolutely had to be hidden in my life as a young teenager, a young man, then a mature man, married with 2 children, is now at the center of my preoccupations: yes, I love my breasts, yes, I'm a girl in my head too! So, I'm lucky that my wife has always known me with this gynecomastia, and I hope to be able to hide the fact that I'm starting a transition to find myself, to exist, to find my breasts again, even if it's incomplete, without losing those I love... I could get fatter again, but no, I don't want to and I can't... it's become a health problem, it's just not possible.
My feminine side, my little voice, needs to live, alongside my masculine side. So yes, I have work to do on myself, but above all, I need to live and blossom... So I hope that I will find the advice and help I need to fulfill myself.