@Michelle_K You are definitely over thinking this.. being intersex has no bearing on your gender. Your biology does not define what gender you perceive yourself to be. It also has little to no bearing on how a medical professional will treat you regards to transgender issues or transition.
It is very easy to find things on the internet and go 'oh I have that, and yes that too', it is another thing to actually realise that slight variation in a person's body is not the clinically significant result the conditons are describing.
For example, Klinefelter Syndrome (XXY-47), that you are going on about and the gynocomastia.. this is a condition that arises when the boy hits puberty, his breast growth is significant, distressing and not due to any other factors (weight for example) - it usually results in breast reduction surgery and a diagnosis. 95% of XXY boys are infertile, again an early sign of diagnosis.. I suggest that if you have gotten over 5 decades of life a 'normal' puberty behind you and procreated, then XXY-47 is not applicable..
As for surgery scars.. then for XXY individuals they will have those scars under their breasts, they will of been done around the age of 14-16 and as such, you would know about them.. There is usually no reason to touch genitals of anyone XXY-47 as they form functional if a little small. Surgery scars are visible, quite visible. I am intersex (XX47-XY47 chimeric) and had surgery within 24 hours of birth to make me appear more male, more at age 3. The zig-zag scar along my perineum and the 12 stiches around my phallus, obvious to anyone who cared to look. My genetics, however did not make me a girl. The doctors had a 50-50 chance in my case (one in a billion) and made the wrong guess.. and even with this form of extreme intersex state, my endocrinologist and doctors and surgeon, all treated me as any AMAB person going to transition to female.
I get that you are looking for reasons why - Reasons to justify your feelings - You can't, you are you and that is life unfortunately.