While there is no "typical" way to transition, it is helpful to learn about how other people did it so you can make up your own mind what might / will work for you.  So this is how I did it.  I'm not saying you should do the same, but this approach worked for me.

Once I knew who I was, I knew I wanted to transition as quickly and smoothly as possible.  My approach was to get HRT started, and, once my appearance hopefully started to become a bit androgynous, to then transition socially.

The first step was getting a therapist, because, here, you can't get HRT or surgery without a letter from a therapist.  Although public mental health programs would provide therapy for free, the waiting list was too long for me, so I paid out of my pocket for the therapy. 

Once I had my letter from the therapist, I was referred to a qualified doctor for the hormones.  Once I was on HRT, I knew that timing would become important.  I wanted to transition socially before my breasts grew to questionable (for a male) size, but after they were large enough to be plausible for a female.  In my case, that took three months. 

During all that time, I was dressing female at home and at the trans support group, and male elsewhere.

At the point where my physical transition was suitable, I burned my bridges, announced to various groups that I was a member of that I was female and wished to be addressed as Kathy, and started wearing female clothes full-time. 

I immediately applied for an official name change, then started getting all my documents in order.  That took a couple of years, the last holdout being my birth certificate.  Conflicting regulations in two different jurisdictions made that a hassle, but I got it done eventually.

During that time, I started the process of getting approved for surgery.  I opted for vulvoplasty, but the choice of surgeries is highly variable because it is highly personal.  That is where talking to a therapist is most helpful, because they will help you to decide what your goals are and what you need to have done to meet them.

No lights here in NJ either. The weather was rainy when I went to bed Friday. Was supposed to be mostly cloudy closer to morning. 4:00 am was still very cloudy, 5:00 am thick fog. Raining again after a mostly sunny Saturday. Rain all last night. Oh well, maybe next time.

Called in on Deb, she was in a good mood. Had a look at the veg patch, potatoes have good shoots .Should have moulded them up but not enough spare soil. Lettuce coming up but a bit patchy, will have to go and do some weeding soon. Have to get some canes for runner beans, maybe 2 wigwams and D has some plants.
 Mums garden looking good, plenty of veg coming on. French bean plants starting in trays in the green house, a good row of radish and beetroot in the raised bed, broad beans looking strong and potatoes as well.
 Got on well this morning making another glass fibre panel, left it to dry so home early. Looks like I have a grasshopper on my window, maybe its escaping the lesser spotted lawn mower I can hear. Yes the twat next door is mowing his lawn again and he only cut it Friday!! What happened to no mow May?

VA improperly approved nearly $11 million in bonuses for execs, watchdog finds
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/05/09/va-bonuses-top-executives-pact-act-improper/?utm_source=alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=wp_news_alert_revere&location=alert
The Washington Post - Lisa Rein
May 9, 2024 at 1:43 p.m. EDT

Veterans Affairs leaders improperly handed out almost $11 million in bonuses to more than 180 senior executives last year, with several taking home more than $100,000, a new investigation has found.

The bonuses came from funds that Congress earmarked to recruit and keep staff needed to process billions of dollars in new veterans benefits — not to reward top officials in Washington.

When Secretary Denis McDonough learned of the payments in September, he ordered all of the executives to repay VA. But the bonuses still are being recouped eight months later because many who received the money had already spent the checks, and some are challenging the order, according to a 92-page report by Inspector General Michael Missal's office, obtained by The Washington Post ahead of its public release on Thursday.

The episode exposes a litany of blunders and missing safeguards within VA as its top leaders disregarded rules to hand payouts to all career senior leaders in the D.C. headquarters of the health and benefits systems — then failed to keep McDonough and others informed about the plan, Missal's office found.

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"Some executives have yet to repay the bonuses, which exceeded $100,000 in some cases, despite an order from the VA secretary."

The VA Secretary promised to change the regulations and policies that prohibit Gender Affirming Surgeries. Later, Congress passed The PACT Act and authorized additional funds to pay for staffing and equipment for veterans' claims under the Act. Now, the VA Secretary says he "is not ready to change the regulations" affecting Gender Affirming Surgeries, even though we have been waiting for promised care long before the PACT Act was signed into law.

Senior Executives are receiving bonuses, some of which alone could pay for a veteran's surgery with money left over. What exactly did they do to earn these bonuses?

I have questions.

Hello Robby,
   I read your intro posts, yes all of it and am very touched by it. Much of it is very similar to my life. First I would like to say suicide is NOT AN OPTION! Nor will it fix anything.
  Growing up I also felt the want/need to be a woman. repressed these feelings by crossdressing occasionally, porn, stories, fantasy's, church/prayer, working, you name it. Married had a son. But was a miserable SOB. GD does not get easier as we age. I came out to my wife of 35 years. We had the "I'm not a lesbian, not what I signed up for talk. She agreed to stick it out for a while and see where it leads. I told her we could always go our separate ways. I feel our relationship has become stronger and better as i become more intuned with my feelings and less hostile. We shop, dine out, and spend time together without many fights. Sex has become a thing of the past thanks to HRT but I find I don't miss it that much. Being 'out' and expressing female has taken such a lode off my shoulders. I am due to have my SRS next month and she says she will be there for me.
  Find a 'good' therapist who you feel comfortable with. This can help immensely. Explain to the wife that you are trying to figure this out as you go and that you never meant to deceive her. Give her time to digest all this. It may takes months, years, or it might never happen. You must be happy in what ever place you are in. Be brave sister! We are here for you.
Hugs Gina 

I tried again last night to view the Northern Lights, thinking that maybe the early morning hours might provide better environmental conditions.

Still no lights.

I saw two deer ambling through our parking lot. So I named them "Aurora" and "Borealis". I tried to snap a picture but they were having none of it, so I went back inside and went back to bed.

Lead Lead


the verb; to lead
the metal; lead pipe

Quote from: LoriDee on Yesterday at 11:09:43 PMI am on the Resident Council here in my apartment building. It is a resident liaison group that brings complaints and such to management and helps management keep residents informed of policies and upcoming events. At our last Council meeting, we discussed putting in a community garden.

There is one about a block away that repeatedly gets trashed by homeless people. They leave trash and destroy the plants. So we plan to fence off an area only available to residents, and they must contact a Council member to gain access. We have funding for $5,000 for the garden itself, but the fencing falls under a "build" category because we need a property line survey, fencing permits, etc. We have requested the funding for the fence build, but won't receive those funds until later.

I will be curious to see how many residents make use of it. From what I have witnessed, many want a hand-out, not a hand-up. Especially if they have to put in some work to get anything. It is so sad.

See:  https://americanliterature.com/childrens-stories/the-little-red-hen

You inspired me to go out and look too.  No Northern Lights visible here too.  From the map I saw, we were on the fringe of the viewing area.  I think the city lights on the other side of the hill are just a little too bright.

ear   hear