Emma, how are you feeling?

Surprisingly good O&C, thank you for asking, and very happy.  It was the right choice and it feels right. 

All good news!

Quote from: Emma1017 on February 23, 2024, 05:59:27 PMYes Iz, home now and ate a double egg sandwich...starved.  All that is left is healing...Sooo Happy!!!

congrattulations Emma. Hugs
Mariah

O&C I am surprised how quickly I am recovering.  I am still following the doctors orders.  I don't want to pop a stitch, but I stopped Tylenol yesterday.

Mariah thanks so much.  It is great to move on!

Wow, two weeks after surgery and I feel great, physically and emotionally.  I know I took the easier path by just doing an orchiectomy but it was enough of a solution for my emotional need aka gender dysphoria and my life with my wife.  Yes, I wish I could have done the complete job but it is a decision  I can live with.  I love how pants fit.  No bulge.  Yay!

I can start working out next week and I have arranged for a women's only gym.  I told them that I was a preop transgender woman and they were very welcoming.  I am looking forward to it because it give me a chance to meet other women as me, not as a guy.  I would really just love to have female friends and this is a great chance.

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 02, 2024, 07:54:01 AMWow, two weeks after surgery and I feel great, physically and emotionally.  I know I took the easier path by just doing an orchiectomy but it was enough of a solution for my emotional need aka gender dysphoria and my life with my wife.  Yes, I wish I could have done the complete job but it is a decision  I can live with.  I love how pants fit.  No bulge.  Yay!

I can start working out next week and I have arranged for a women's only gym.  I told them that I was a preop transgender woman and they were very welcoming.  I am looking forward to it because it give me a chance to meet other women as me, not as a guy.  I would really just love to have female friends and this is a great chance.

Hi Emma! 

Such a great report to read first thing this morning!!  I'm so happy this went well for you and I can totally relate to the desire for a women's only gym and the desire for female to female friendship.  I am considering your surgical compromise for myself.  One is already gone so I might was well finish the job! 

This may be too personal of a question, but how invasive was the surgery?  When I had the one done they called the procedure a "radical orchiectomy". And it was indeed radical as they removed all kinds of things in addition to the "lad".  I would think a non-radical orchi would be much simpler and less invasive.  I'm sure it's more than chasing me around the room with a melon baller and a bottle of vodka but I would hope it would still be easier! 


Hugs,

Brooke

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 02, 2024, 07:54:01 AMWow, two weeks after surgery and I feel great, physically and emotionally.  I know I took the easier path by just doing an orchiectomy but it was enough of a solution for my emotional need aka gender dysphoria and my life with my wife.  Yes, I wish I could have done the complete job but it is a decision  I can live with.  I love how pants fit.  No bulge.  Yay!

I can start working out next week and I have arranged for a women's only gym.  I told them that I was a preop transgender woman and they were very welcoming.  I am looking forward to it because it give me a chance to meet other women as me, not as a guy.  I would really just love to have female friends and this is a great chance.

Emma,

As your topic's name states in part, we now know what hurts less.

Chrissy

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 02, 2024, 07:54:01 AMI am looking forward to it because it give me a chance to meet other women as me, not as a guy.  I would really just love to have female friends and this is a great chance.

We so understand.  As my sweetheart dares to present as herself in public, we're delighted as we notice how differently people respond to her.

Like the lady at the grocery store who comfortably asked her what she does with all of that coconut milk.

Or the lady in the parking lot who scanned her and then looked her in the eye and smiled.

Or the woman who passed her in the hallway and warmly smiled.

The world is much friendlier to her as a woman than it was to him when he was trying to be a man.

Brooke it is still surgery so I suspect you need to go through the whole process for half the result. No discounts.

Chrissy the origin of my blog title five years ago (yikes that seems so long ago) was, hurting my wife to transition or hurting myself if I don't.  I hope that we both got something worthwhile in the process.  Separately, I told the surgeon I was impressed at how painless the recovery was.  The most painful part was the nasty bruise from the IV needle on the top of my hand.

Moonflower, that is exactly what I want!!!  I am sooo tired of the macho man machismo and misogyny nonsense.  I just want to fit in and be Emma where I can to give me some balance as I keep up the man facade.  It gets rough sometimes but it is worth the compromise.

OK its been three weeks since my orchiectomy and here is my update:

I couldn't be happier. The healing and recovery have been great.  I love how pants feel. Tucking is no longer a major undertaking.  I joined a women's gym and bought yoga legging shorts to wear.  I made an appointment to get my hair colored less white/gray next week.  I hope I don't chicken out 

What has been the most unexpected has been on the sexual side.  I don't want to be insultingly crude here but I was very concerned about the post-surgery impact.  Here are my clinical observations:   Erections still happen, arousal is surprisingly stronger versus pre-surgery and orgasms seem more intense.  All of this was totally unexpected.  Not sure it will last but so far so good.

Everything surpassed my expectations and my fears.  I really appreciate that for a change.

As I recall, your wife is a lot like mine, so how is she coping with the changes?

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 08, 2024, 10:57:19 AMOK its been three weeks since my orchiectomy and here is my update:

I couldn't be happier. The healing and recovery have been great.  I love how pants feel. Tucking is no longer a major undertaking.  I joined a women's gym and bought yoga legging shorts to wear.  I made an appointment to get my hair colored less white/gray next week.  I hope I don't chicken out 

What has been the most unexpected has been on the sexual side.  I don't want to be insultingly crude here but I was very concerned about the post-surgery impact.  Here are my clinical observations:   Erections still happen, arousal is surprisingly stronger versus pre-surgery and orgasms seem more intense.  All of this was totally unexpected.  Not sure it will last but so far so good.

Everything surpassed my expectations and my fears.  I really appreciate that for a change.

Emma,

That all sounds very good.  Have a wonderful weekend.

Chrissy

Rachel as you know I have decided to compromise how far I will transition because of the love my wife and I have for each other. So far it is working for us. It relies on me separating my life into two pieces: Emma and him.  It also works for me professionally as I ease my son into my practice.

The challenge is to find enough moments to be me, Emma, and I feel like it seems to be working.  It gets rough sometimes but I accept that as the price of having my cake and eating it too.  By joining the women's gym and being accepted is a huge step.  I hope to build some friendships where I am just Emma.

To answer your question, my wife seems at least reconciled to the fact that I am transgender whether I, she, or we want otherwise.  Getting an orchiectomy is not to be done lightly and is a clear indication that I am not cisgender.

She supported me through the whole surgical process.  Sure she is not happy but she loves me and we laugh together every day.  She still has her best friend and she doesn't need to deal with the ugly reactions of neighbors and family if I came out. I am protecting her from it all because she doesn't deserve the public grief that I could handle if it was just me.

OK let's get sex out of the way.  We stopped years ago. I rely on solo alternatives. It works for me.  Frankly, orgasms are great but I never felt comfortable with the "guy" role.  No surprise huh?

Enough said there.

I am sharing all of these personal details because I want to help others on different parts of this transgender journey like I was helped way back in the beginning of mine.

Rachel I truly hope that you and your wife can negotiate all this and still be together.  I know that you are stuck in a rough place with your family and community.  Stay tough, breathe and find all the joy that you deserve!

Chrissy, as always, thank you for being my cheerleader.  I hope you have a wonderful weekend as well!

Thank you for your reply. 

My marriage isn't so different from yours.  We haven't had sex in so many years, I can't remember when it was.  And, I understand the internal conflict associated with sex in the wrong body.  It's hard to describe, but most of us here have felt it too. 

I am struggling to find the best solution to my management of GD, but that's nothing new.  It's the story of my life.  Sometimes, I think maybe a lot of us fight it until we are exhausted, and then we do the rational thing and stop fighting it. 

Rachel I feel the pain of what you are going through.  We all know the misery of it all.  I don't anyone who has said: "Being transgender is the best thing in the world!" The reality is, we were never asked nor given a choice.

Take time to be good to yourself.

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 09, 2024, 09:44:46 AMRachel as you know I have decided to compromise how far I will transition because of the love my wife and I have for each other. So far it is working for us. It relies on me separating my life into two pieces: Emma and him.  It also works for me professionally as I ease my son into my practice.

The challenge is to find enough moments to be me, Emma, and I feel like it seems to be working.  It gets rough sometimes but I accept that as the price of having my cake and eating it too.  By joining the women's gym and being accepted is a huge step.  I hope to build some friendships where I am just Emma.

To answer your question, my wife seems at least reconciled to the fact that I am transgender whether I, she, or we want otherwise.  Getting an orchiectomy is not to be done lightly and is a clear indication that I am not cisgender.

She supported me through the whole surgical process.  Sure she is not happy but she loves me and we laugh together every day.  She still has her best friend and she doesn't need to deal with the ugly reactions of neighbors and family if I came out. I am protecting her from it all because she doesn't deserve the public grief that I could handle if it was just me.

OK let's get sex out of the way.  We stopped years ago. I rely on solo alternatives. It works for me.  Frankly, orgasms are great but I never felt comfortable with the "guy" role.  No surprise huh?

Enough said there.

I am sharing all of these personal details because I want to help others on different parts of this transgender journey like I was helped way back in the beginning of mine.

Rachel I truly hope that you and your wife can negotiate all this and still be together.  I know that you are stuck in a rough place with your family and community.  Stay tough, breathe and find all the joy that you deserve!

Chrissy, as always, thank you for being my cheerleader.  I hope you have a wonderful weekend as well!

Emma,

It is clear that you make significant sacrifices and that your wife loves you and has some level of tolerance for your needs.  Compromises appear to be continued to try to make the best of the situation.

I am wishing both of you the best.  Transitioning is full of hardships and there are joys.

Hugs,

Chrissy

Emma,

Keep a positive attitude and let everyone see your nice smile.

Best,


Chrissy

Still juggling my female gender and male gender presentation act. 

Tuesday was a study in point.  I woke up and dressed male professional for work.  Came home and changed into male workout clothes. Drove to my hair appointment and slipped into a dress and makeup in the car (Clark Kent had it easier in a phone booth but there aren't any around anymore).  Got my hair done as Emma, loving every minute of it.  Got back in my car and drove to my first workout in a women's only gym that accepted me. Slipped off my dress in the car because I had my yoga outfit under my dress.  Had a great first workout post-surgery.  Got back in my car, put on my male workout sweats, wiped off my makeup and drove home.

Insane huh?    

Yes there is something to be said about full time.