News and Events => Opinions & Editorials => Topic started by: Shana A on June 19, 2011, 12:05:29 PM Return to Full Version
Title: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: Shana A on June 19, 2011, 12:05:29 PM
Post by: Shana A on June 19, 2011, 12:05:29 PM
What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
I have transitioned fast and am ambiguous about the term 'dad' – but I'm worried it might be a big loss for my children
Jane Fae
guardian.co.uk, Sunday 19 June 2011 12.00 BST
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/19/fathers-day-trans-woman (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/19/fathers-day-trans-woman)
What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day? A card? Some chocolates? Or, as looks increasingly likely in this household, nothing at all?
I'm not complaining. It's not as if I'm that fond of the title of "dad". As for the cards: gender stereotypes – golf, booze and gadgets – still seem to be the order of the day, which really doesn't make much sense for a middle-aged woman more given to flowers and pre-Raphaelite whimsy.
I have transitioned fast and am ambiguous about the term 'dad' – but I'm worried it might be a big loss for my children
Jane Fae
guardian.co.uk, Sunday 19 June 2011 12.00 BST
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/19/fathers-day-trans-woman (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/19/fathers-day-trans-woman)
What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day? A card? Some chocolates? Or, as looks increasingly likely in this household, nothing at all?
I'm not complaining. It's not as if I'm that fond of the title of "dad". As for the cards: gender stereotypes – golf, booze and gadgets – still seem to be the order of the day, which really doesn't make much sense for a middle-aged woman more given to flowers and pre-Raphaelite whimsy.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: EmilyElizabeth on June 19, 2011, 08:24:52 PM
Post by: EmilyElizabeth on June 19, 2011, 08:24:52 PM
You buy them NOTHING. They are a WOMAN!
Ugh.
Ugh.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: V M on June 19, 2011, 08:45:11 PM
Post by: V M on June 19, 2011, 08:45:11 PM
Something nice from Victoria's Secret or someplace :laugh: Stuff you'd give a woman on any holiday
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: Muffins on June 19, 2011, 08:45:36 PM
Post by: Muffins on June 19, 2011, 08:45:36 PM
Quote from: EmilyElizabeth on June 19, 2011, 08:24:52 PM+1
You buy them NOTHING. They are a WOMAN!
Ugh.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on June 19, 2011, 09:11:30 PM
Post by: ~RoadToTrista~ on June 19, 2011, 09:11:30 PM
Whatever you would buy on Mother's Day.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: LordKAT on June 19, 2011, 09:56:13 PM
Post by: LordKAT on June 19, 2011, 09:56:13 PM
I got a father's day text. I'm happy.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: MarinaM on June 20, 2011, 01:10:19 AM
Post by: MarinaM on June 20, 2011, 01:10:19 AM
I got more mothers day greetings than fathers day, I think. If people want to use a day as an excuse to buy me something, by all means :) If it's free, it's for me! I think the people I know were just covering their bases because they're confused and trying to be nice.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: Padma on June 20, 2011, 02:07:48 AM
Post by: Padma on June 20, 2011, 02:07:48 AM
I'd say: you ask them what they'd prefer, and then go with that. It clearly matters to some trans women that they still be thought of as their children's father, but that's also clearly not universal.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: Muffins on June 20, 2011, 08:20:45 AM
Post by: Muffins on June 20, 2011, 08:20:45 AM
Does this mean you get a fathers day and a mothers day? ...if I had to choose...hhmmm.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: Constance on June 20, 2011, 09:57:29 AM
Post by: Constance on June 20, 2011, 09:57:29 AM
I will always be the one who fathered my children.
My (soon to be ex) wife gave me a skirt, my daughter gave me peanut brittle, and my son gave me chocolate. My son gave me chocolate on mother's day, too.
My (soon to be ex) wife gave me a skirt, my daughter gave me peanut brittle, and my son gave me chocolate. My son gave me chocolate on mother's day, too.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: Aiden on June 20, 2011, 10:54:27 AM
Post by: Aiden on June 20, 2011, 10:54:27 AM
Well I'm not in same situation there, don;t have any children, but would hope that it be up to the children how they wish to show appreciation and when. If they celebrated with you as a mother or father or both. Would think it would be up to what the child is comfortable with.
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: arbon on June 21, 2011, 06:59:31 PM
Post by: arbon on June 21, 2011, 06:59:31 PM
I was not sure what she would do but my 11 year old daughter changed it to "T's Day" (for Theresa) and made her own card :)
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: V M on June 21, 2011, 07:22:24 PM
Post by: V M on June 21, 2011, 07:22:24 PM
Quote from: arbon on June 21, 2011, 06:59:31 PMThat's cute :)
I was not sure what she would do but my 11 year old daughter changed it to "T's Day" (for Theresa) and made her own card :)
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: Constance on June 22, 2011, 10:13:03 AM
Post by: Constance on June 22, 2011, 10:13:03 AM
Quote from: arbon on June 21, 2011, 06:59:31 PMV M is right, that is cute.
I was not sure what she would do but my 11 year old daughter changed it to "T's Day" (for Theresa) and made her own card :)
Title: Re: What do you buy a trans woman on Father's Day?
Post by: JessicaH on June 22, 2011, 04:44:01 PM
Post by: JessicaH on June 22, 2011, 04:44:01 PM
After I transition, I will be satisfied to be loved and acnowledged as a parent by my children. I wish I didn't have to take "him" away from them and for that I will always feel guilty. I have been so lucky with my 3 daughters. I hope we don't loose our special relationship...