Susan's Place Transgender Resources

'->-bleeped-<-' Is Not Acceptable

http://www.bilerico.com/2011/06/->-bleeped-<-_is_not_acceptable.php (http://www.bilerico.com/2011/06/-%3E-bleeped-%3C-_is_not_acceptable.php)
6/23/11
Jillian T. Weiss

Monica Helms decided to put together a similar PSA referring to the use of derogatory terms about trans people. It doesn't have celebrities, and it's not glitzy, but it makes an important point.

As in the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign, the actors tell you what words not to use, one of which is "->-bleeped-<-." I know people who don't think the word is derogatory, and I've even heard some trans people say that, but I don't like it, myself. What do you think?

Depends on how it's used, I think.
I had to go to the principal because some kid was picking on me, and he gave his reason for picking on me as, "Because [he's] a ->-bleeped-<-."

Clearly he was using it as an insult. But I have heard people describe themselves as "->-bleeped-<-boys/girls/etc" and they tend not to be insulting themselves. It's a blurry line. I guess it's something of "T word privileges." XD

The only term I don't like is 'crossdresser', this word is so bland, matter-of-fact, humdrum, and wishy-washy.  I much prefer 'transvestite'.  However,  the general public does have difficulty distinguishing between transvestite, transgender, and transsexual.  To the public we are all trannies, even drag-queens.   
These days people seem to believe that you can legislate against anything and everything disagreeable.    The way to end something is not to legislate against it, but to withdraw attention from it.   There are many people who upon being told that the word '->-bleeped-<-' is now unacceptable will secretively and actively resist being told what words they can and cannot use.   They will take a perverse delight in using the word '->-bleeped-<-' to (1) show that they won't be told what words to use and what words not to use. (2) They will also start using '->-bleeped-<-' to deliberately upset fussy, over-correct bourgeois sensibilities.  Taoist philosophy says that the more attention you give something(good or bad) the more it grows.  So the more you withdraw attention from things the quicker they will shrivel and die.

This one keeps coming round! I think (at the moment I think) that it's like a lot of names/labels: if someone wants to call themselves ->-bleeped-<-, it's their privilege - but it's always a gamble calling someone else that, even if you're not using it as an insult, because they may have experienced it used as an insult in the past, and not be able to experience it in any other way than that as a consequence. So it's just safer to choose a less loaded label, or simply to ask what someone wants to be called.

I don't care for the term, I put it in the same little box with the other bigoted terms  :P

I think language Nazi's are out of control.

No one has any right to tell me what is acceptable or not when it comes to my speach. (provided I am not verbaly assaulting someone or divulging national secrets)

If a word hurts your feelings....do some inner seaching and figure out what it is whitin that finds the need to be hurt by one simple word. No word is bad on it's own merrit. It is only in the ussage of said word that harm can come about.

If I use the word ->-bleeped-<- in conversation and you don't like it....tough. Thats on you. I am not a negative person and I don't visit missery on others. I may on occasion use that term as I see fit and I will not stand to be policed on my vocabulary.
Trans folks I know IRL localy are pretty loose with the term. But then maybe we should start a movement because anouther group of people in anouther state have issues with what words we use?

What image does the "->-bleeped-<-" word evokes on you?

To me it evokes the image of a poorly dress badly behaving TG/TS.

It is use to ridicule, offense, and discriminate. Its use should be punishable by law.

Kate D

Wow, lots of different takes on this.  I don't have a problem with the word at all.  Like any word it depends on how it is used.  It doesn't have to be a hateful word.  I totally agree with the princess of hearts about one thing, if you give a lot of attention to it then it will become a more powerful word.  And it  will only be used in a hateful way.  It will give hateful ignorant people that aren't smart enough to come up with a word of their own to hurt you an easy word to use.  Maybe those people already use it in that way.  Personally, they can hurl that word at me all they want and it doesn't bother me in the least.

Quote from: kate durcal on June 23, 2011, 06:57:01 PM
What image does the "->-bleeped-<-" word evokes on you?

To me it evokes the image of a poorly dress badly behaving TG/TS.

It is use to ridicule, offense, and discriminate. Its use should be punishable by law.
Kate D

So now we should jail people who hurl insults?
The juvinile detention facilities are going to be over crowded in a few days....

To me the word ->-bleeped-<- is fine for trans people to call themselves or another trans person who is fine with the word, other then that it's a slur and shouldn't be used to describe trans people who don't like the word or find it triggering.

Don't think it should be illegal though, that's ridiculous.

Quote from: cynthialee on June 23, 2011, 07:15:24 PM
So now we should jail people who hurl insults?
The juvinile detention facilities are going to be over crowded in a few days....

insulting is verbal abuse. try to call an African American Policeman a N---- and you will see just how fast your insult lands your CA in in jail

you are not alone; but sunflowers are worth their weight in gold

oo

kate d

When I came to my realization of being trans, I met a person who helped me out quite a bit, and was my trans "mother" so to speak. She often used "->-bleeped-<-" to describe herself and others, sometimes in a self deprecating manner. I have no problem with the word used within the community, however, due to many peoples' discomfort with the word, I wouldn't presume to misidentify anyone else as such.

Z

Calling a police officer a derogatory name is far differant than calling a comon citizen a derogatory name.
False equivilancy.

Everyone is obviously entitled to their opinions but I just don't see why anyone would insist on using a term that so many find offensive. It's
like f****t or n****r.

I've heard it used in conversation among transgender folks, referring to themselves; if they want to keep calling themselves names, that's fine..

But I would have words with anyone who used that term to describe me.

Personally I don't mind it, I use it to refer to myself, kind of similar how some black people call each other ->-bleeped-<- in that I see it as an 'in' word. But I am aware that some people find it offensive so I don't use it willy nilly.

I love the word ->-bleeped-<-, but it is considered one of the most offensive words you can use to a lot of people in my country,

Also, this stuff is insidious - I find if I get used to using an ambiguous word in a "safe" context, it can then more easily slip out in the wrong context and upset or offend. I spent 3 years sharing a house with some people from Southend (for whom the "c" word is used the same way we might say "mate" ::)), and then the first time I visited the local Buddhist centre, I used the word unthinkingly in a chat with someone at tea break - and the whole room went quiet. That's when I realised context is everything!

no matter what terms you use to describe yourself, the ignorant will still be ignorant. and any word can be used as an insult

i'd personally rather use "derogatory" words about myself than be offended every time an ignorant person says the wrong word, or let idiots insult me as they like

Quote from: cynthialee on June 23, 2011, 09:52:41 PM
Calling a police officer a derogatory name is far differant than calling a common citizen a derogatory name.
False equivilancy.

Dear Cynthia,

(you mean equivalency, right?)

Well, where I live if you insult a "common or uncommon" citizen in a public place you could be charge it with harassment, and depending on the insults you uses, ethnic intimidation, etc.

I believe in courtesy and respect for everybody. I do not like to hear foul and vulgar language coming from anybody.  it is usually associated with "street walkers" and "convicts." Beside if you cannot make your point without resourcing to "insults" then you obviously lost your argument.

Kate D

I'm writing a new book called terms of enqueerment  :laugh:

Sorry... Bad humor

*Goes to sit in corner*

Quote from: V M on June 24, 2011, 06:57:48 PM
*Goes to sit in corner*

and eat a few sunflowers until your dispostions gets more sunny   :laugh:

Kate D

I will not be policed on my language, period. I and I alone have the final say of what I beleive to be insulting. I refuse to hand that power over to anyone.
Just because you say it is an insult does not make it so. It is only insulting if I use it in an insulting fashion.
Oh and for the record....I am an ex convict. I would apreciate it if you didn't equate my past life experiance with being less than or other.
thanx
:)

Quote from: cynthialee on June 24, 2011, 07:22:55 PM
I will not be policed on my language, period. I and I alone have the final say of what I believe to be insulting. I refuse to hand that power over to anyone.
Just because you say it is an insult does not make it so. It is only insulting if I use it in an insulting fashion.
Oh and for the record....I am an ex convict. I would appreciate it if you didn't equate my past life experience with being less than or other.
thanks
:)

Exactly how am I supposed to know that you are an ex-convict? But since you mention, you could vouch fro my assertion that foul language and insulting is more prevalent in jails and among convicts and ex-convicts.

You and I stay apart on this and other issues. You have your opinions and your way of life, mine are different, that is all.  You express your opinions, I do the same.

I do not care if you or anybody is or is not a convict, or anything else. I am not impressed by degrees, monies, or experiences.

I am impressed by people who can accept an apology and who do not second hand other peoples intentions.

Kate D

Quote from: kate durcal on June 23, 2011, 06:57:01 PM
What image does the "->-bleeped-<-" word evokes on you?

To me it evokes the image of a poorly dress badly behaving TG/TS.

It is use to ridicule, offense, and discriminate. Its use should be punishable by law.

Kate D

It all depends on who is using the term and what it is referring to. In my neck of the woods so to speak it is most often used to refer to automobile or mechanical transmissions and not people.  So does that mean that all the mechanics that work on them now would be subject to fines or jail time because they happen to use the term ->-bleeped-<- instead of transmission?

I think we have to be really careful when words have multiple meanings as we can only define them by the one who does the speaking or writing and in most cases not just by the word itself.  There are some words that only have one meaning and those are very clear as to what is meant.

Not a fan of the word, but ->-bleeped-<-girl15 on youtube is amazing, and I don't hate on her too much for the using the word. It is after all just a word, and intent matters more than anything. Using that word or any other in anger, hate, intolerance and ignorance isn't something I would approve of.

I guess I am more apathetic on the issue, honestly I think I would take "->-bleeped-<-" over "->-bleeped-<-" any day. I don't see the porn industry giving up either term though, so I doubt that they will go away.

Quote from: Hikari on June 24, 2011, 09:13:00 PM
Not a fan of the word, but ->-bleeped-<-girl15 on youtube is amazing, and I don't hate on her too much for the using the word. It is after all just a word, and intent matters more than anything. Using that word or any other in anger, hate, intolerance and ignorance isn't something I would approve of.

I guess I am more apathetic on the issue, honestly I think I would take "->-bleeped-<-" over "->-bleeped-<-" any day. I don't see the porn industry giving up either term though, so I doubt that they will go away.

I can see your point, and the points made by the other Ladies. Perhaps I reacted to visceral to the topic.

I have been at the receiving end of the "->-bleeped-<-" insults by evil people who sought to humiliate in public with prejudice and premeditation.  They use the infamous "I am just telling like it is." Well they have letter from attorney warning them, and I have a police report on them.

my 2 cents for what ever is worth

Kate D

I don't hate everyone who uses the term, it is just not a term that I personally embrace... If others are comfortable with it, no skin off my teeth

Quote from: kate durcal on June 24, 2011, 08:00:45 PM
But since you mention, you could vouch fro my assertion that foul language and insulting is more prevalent in jails and among convicts and ex-convicts.

No she can't. Because it's simply not true. I'd say it's equally if not more prevalent among those who've never seen a jail cell. Suburban high schoolers for one.

Any word aimed at you with hate, is a bad word.   And any word can be said in a hateful way.   My response to the hateful person and word is,  "Whatever."  And then I let a senior moment wash it away.   There is a lot to say for being a 64 year old Granny ->-bleeped-<-.  Say it rhymes.   "Well, whatever."   Now just was it I was just saying......... >:-)

Quote from: kate durcal on June 24, 2011, 08:00:45 PM
Exactly how am I supposed to know that you are an ex-convict? But since you mention, you could vouch fro my assertion that foul language and insulting is more prevalent in jails and among convicts and ex-convicts.

well... here in norway it all depends on latitude. in the south you'd get jailed for one foul word directed at a police officer, in the north you'd have to think up a much juicier insult for the same to happen.
and this only because people in the south never learned how to speak entire long nearly meaningful sentences made up of swear words only
as for insulting i think high school kids are still in the lead even here

Quote from: kate durcal on June 24, 2011, 10:01:44 PM
I have been at the receiving end of the "->-bleeped-<-" insults by evil people who sought to humiliate in public with prejudice and premeditation.  They use the infamous "I am just telling like it is." Well they have letter from attorney warning them, and I have a police report on them.
Kate D

i've been at the receiving end of all kinds of insults since grade school. "->-bleeped-<-" wasn't among them, as i wore the skirts my mom loves to see on me. but still, i've been insulted on the basis of race, religion (yup even "christian" can be an insult around here), parents, interests, hobbies, friends (i don't shun those who are regarded "different"), clothing. well.. pretty much anything you can imagine, and do you think the teachers did anything about it? nope, "there is no bullying in our school"

so what has this done to me? it made me grow some very thick skin. only way you can tick me off now is to insult one of those that i care for, like my daughter, younger siblings, close friends, etc. as for me, no one could hurt me by simply telling me what i am, right? i'm proud of it no matter if the word was used in order to insult me

 I like ->-bleeped-<- alot better than f*ggot, but around here "you`re book smart " is an insult.  ->-bleeped-<- is one persons insult ,and anothers identity, I hate the language police, even calling them the language Nazis is using as a hate word a word that could be another persons self identifier.   The other day , a coworker was telling us about his racing exploits ,when he told us he "blew another ->-bleeped-<- ,in the car." i laughed so hard , i think he ment his transmission failed again, but y`all never know.

Quote from: Forum Admin on June 24, 2011, 10:48:30 PM
No she can't. Because it's simply not true. I'd say it's equally if not more prevalent among those who've never seen a jail cell. Suburban high schoolers for one.

True! but the highschooler grow up, and most of them change; the convict and ex convicts grow old, some change, but the majority do not.

My point is that the higher your emotionaal IQ, the less like likely the chance  of you using insults to make a point. And if  you know that a word causes pain to fellow human, then logic dictates that you should not use it. Your right are your right as long as you are not trampling somebodies rights (an I am not directing this response to you Mr. Forum administrator man)

Kate D

I'm going to date myself a little bit here but when I was in high school the redneck at the local gas station use to call me honey and sweetie or ask if he could do anything else for us girls.  And no I wasn't cross dressing...It was just my hippie stage and I had long hair.  It was before long hair on guys became a common thing.  Of course he was doing his best to insult us.  It just goes to show you it's not words...it's intent.  You can be polite and use words of endearment and insult at the very same time. 

I blew a ->-bleeped-<- in my car once too!   

Shoot...I do mean transmission.