Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Do you feel confident? What about? Why? If not, what do you feel would help your confidence to grow?

For the first time in my life, and after too many years searching for answers, I know who I am. 
I simply go about my business with "more front than Myers" (Lg Dept store in Melbourne with huge front window) as the saying goes, and assume that I have as much right to be there as anyone else.
Politeness and a smile do the rest.

Karen.

As you know Sis it has to be #1.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Cindy

Depends entirely on the situation. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I'm inclined to agree with Sephirah's response...there are times where I *KNOW* I am going to rock the environment I am in and there are other times where I *KNOW* I am out of my element.

Getting client cases dismissed without ever even having to travel to the jurisdiction in question (a few hundred miles away) or ever even meet with the prosecutor face-to-face tends to instill some tendencies to become overconfident...

My first impulse was to select "Sometimes I lack confidence," but I chose "My confidence is at a good level."

Professionally, I'm good. I can do things here at work that others on the support team can't. But really, that can be said by anyone on the support team, too. We all have the ways in which we excel over each other.

Personally is where I'm a little lacking in self-confidence. I'm finding that since beginning transition I'm a little less shy, but that's about it. Being in public and meeting new people is still a little stressful for me.

I seem to have this deep and unshakeable feeling that I am right, good, honourable and decent. I do very much like myself, but I am not hugely confident that any of those qualities have any impact on the world around me - so my confidence is approaching too good, but my feeling of agency is very low.

Thank you all for your replies  :)

As others have mentioned, my confidence level is somewhat determinded by what's going on... There are things I do rather well and feel very confident in myself, there are also times when I don't feel quite as confident  :)

Overall I would like to think my confidence is at a good level but there are areas that I would like to further improve upon  :)

Love and Hugs to all

- Virginia

I am right, good, honourable and decent.

What an amazingly beautiful set of standards.

Quote from: V M on July 07, 2011, 12:19:24 AM
Do you feel confident? What about? Why? If not, what do you feel would help your confidence to grow?

Im confident, when I have a problem, I waste NO time in solving it, take transition for example, I have a goal, it'll be hard, but iI'll achieve it! FTW

I'd say I'm confident. Period. --- Sometimes folks mention this and sounding a bit jealous even.

At the same time this was not always so. It then was more a case for overconfidence, maybe still have at times.

Some might say: Having a liking for "Hanging out of the bus" i.e. ready to take chances in life.

IOW I can't even recall when I was not confident these days. I'm even confident when I cry or rant, as my "inner observer" seems to know I come out of it sooner or later - so just go with the flow - mostly, um.

Having had more then one near death experiences might have something to do with this.
As...
- Having been struck by lighting on a windsurfer
- Almost drowning (more then once) and having had sever hypothermia (once only) - one learns.
- Having had Subdural Haematoma and maybe less then 1 hr to live without an emergency op.

->-bleeped-<-e happens and "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (kind of, hey :-)

Axelle

i'm confident enough in academia, but i severely lack this same confidence in social situations. probably because of being bullied through most of grade school and junior high. not having any friends my own age hasn't really made me confident around the same people, and i tend to think that nobody really likes me. but i do get along with people who don't try too hard to be "normal", so i'm starting to think i might be ok

I am a confident person.

But I think you have to believe in yourself to be confident. Sounds daft :-*. Why, for example is public speaking a horror for so many people? To many nervous people to gain confidence they will  have several drinks or other drugs of their choice and make a complete cats bum of themselves. They will be remembered for years. They will never be confident to talk in public.

So how do you do that?

If public speaking is your aim, practice. Buy a full length mirror, stand in front of it and talk. Have your Dictaphone whatever on and listen to your self.

If you look like a tart in high heels, slut make up and too low a blouse, guess what? Everyone in the audience will know as well. If you look like a well dressed person who is nervous; guess what? everyone in the audience will know and hang on every word.

Confidence is finding the beauty inside you. And I do not mean any trivialising of emotion of common sense. But we sometimes forget that I am the important one. I matter. I am the one who needs to grow and flourish.

The other thing about self confidence is every step is a step.

I've been teaching Hons and PhD students for the last 20 years. I love it.  It is a privilege given to few, and an honour I do not deserve.

But each year the newbie arrives, OK this is the project and we will work the details as we advance.  I want you to present your project to the group in two weeks time. I want a ten minute talk.  I can't do that is the usual reply. Never had a failure.


Cindy

I'm a legend in my own mind and Yes, the world does revolve around me

Well i am bipolar  ;D   but that confidence is only in construction or transitioning or things like that but when it comes to socializing with so called normal people i fail miserably. But alas i have come to realize i need to associate with those like myself. Crazy people like Cindy is an example  :-X  roflmao  actually Cindy has what i don't have socially so she can help many people. In my case i just help people with their basic needs of food clothing shelter.. i use to run recovery homes i built and for 13 yrs i helped many addicts but they didn't click with me.. it must be i am out there in my thinking compared to many people who do seek their owns needs in all things and really do not even think much about helping other people.. For me though helping other people has always been what keeps me going.. its hard for me to just care for my own needs.. i did trans housing and then after i was broke and done helping them i was homeless and they wouldn't let me stay at those shelters i helped to create.. so maybe finally owning my own place is a good thing for me as long as i don't try to help too many people and have them rule over me and kick me out  ::)

There as some gorgeous people. And you are one.
We live in shadows and shade, But we know what we do. We do not sing for praise. We do not sing.  We do need praise, I never thought I would,  I do.

Good Sleep.

You are an Angel.
Good sleep and we both pray for the child

Cindy

I enjoy helping others as well, always have... Granted, I have become somewhat limited in my physical abilities and don't have very much in the way of resources, I do what I can when I can

There are quite a few elderly and mentally and/or physically handicapped people where I live... Sure, I've got my own issues, but if I'm able to help someone, I do... I don't talk about it much, but I actually end up doing quite a bit of care work and so forth... I don't get paid, but the people and their families are usually grateful that someone was there... Some are not, oh well... I'm not in it for the praise

Sometimes people will ask me "What did you do today?" and I'll usually say... "Not much"... Now and then I may tell them something that happened, but mostly I'll keep the conversation light

Sometimes family members will ask me "What do I owe ya for that?" I tell them... "A smile"

Love and Hugs

- Virginia


EDIT: Spelling

Quote from: V M on July 11, 2011, 05:31:18 PM
I enjoy helping others as well, always have... Granted, I have become somewhat limited in my physical abilities and don't have very much in the way of resources, I do what I can when I can

There are quite a few elderly and mentally and/or physically handicapped people where I live... Sure, I've got my own issues, but if I'm able to help someone, I do... I don't talk about it much, but I actually end up doing quite a bit of care work and so forth... I don't get paid, but the people and their families are usually grateful that someone was there... Some are not, oh well... I'm not in it for the praise

Sometimes people will ask me "What did you do today?" and I'll usually say... "Not much"... Now and them I may tell them something that happened, but mostly I'll keep the conversation light

Sometimes family members will ask me "What do I owe ya for that?" I tell them... "A smile"

Love and Hugs

- Virginia

In this transgendered world where most are self absorbed with their appearence its great to share what you do helping others... keep doing it.. its what people here need to know about because there is more to life than our looks..

My confidence waxes and wains. Sometimes I feel like nothing can bring me down, I'm just happy and satisfied with my incomplete and imperfect life because I know it means I get to work hard to be the person I dream of being. Other times, I feel stuck in the mud, wondering why my life is so static and unchanging. I won't go as far to say everything revolves around me when I feel confident. I'm just able to interact with the people around me as though they are equals, regardless of their appearance or personality. When I feel like crap, I just sit around, doing nothing, assuming everyone I meet is better than me and that they think of me as some loser.

When I am feeling confident, I'm a lot more likely to go out of my way to do good for others, which in turn brings even more confidence when I see them happy. I'm also a lot more likely to work out and get exercise which also encourages self-confidence.

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on July 11, 2011, 05:55:12 PM

In this transgendered world where most are self absorbed with their appearance its great to share what you do helping others... keep doing it.. its what people here need to know about because there is more to life than our looks..

Yes, there is more to life than ones looks and yes, some folks do get way to preoccupied with their appearance... Of coarse I will continue to help others, it's just part of my nature

I don't plan on winning any beauty contests any time soon and I don't feel the need to play braggart on parade at every turn... I don't require all that much attention... I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin

Quote from: Ryan J on July 12, 2011, 05:19:12 PM
My confidence waxes and wains. Sometimes I feel like nothing can bring me down, I'm just happy and satisfied with my incomplete and imperfect life because I know it means I get to work hard to be the person I dream of being. Other times, I feel stuck in the mud, wondering why my life is so static and unchanging. I won't go as far to say everything revolves around me when I feel confident. I'm just able to interact with the people around me as though they are equals, regardless of their appearance or personality. When I feel like crap, I just sit around, doing nothing, assuming everyone I meet is better than me and that they think of me as some loser.

When I am feeling confident, I'm a lot more likely to go out of my way to do good for others, which in turn brings even more confidence when I see them happy. I'm also a lot more likely to work out and get exercise which also encourages self-confidence.

Love your answer Ryan  :)  I would imagine several folks could relate

I am confident in being me.  I am enjoying school and my studies.