Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Although this thread is serious, I have a really good sense of humor with everything in my life.

I've found the older I get the more unusual I feel using the women's restroom. Most of the time I don't really care and it doesn't effect me, but there are some times (especially when the restroom is busy) that I feel awkward. I don't bind or anything (but I'm looking into it) but I guess I can pass pretty well, I've had a few experiences where I'll be the only person in a restroom washing my hands, a woman will walk in, go "Oh, I'm sorry!" leave and then come back a second later. Hahahaha  :D I don't feel ready to use a men's room and there aren't unisex restrooms everywhere.

Anyone else want to share similar experiences?

I normally use the boys room,
have used the girls room in the past but now I manly go to boys room or handicap toilet if my parrents are there wathing (I dont want any comment for just going to the toilet-__-)

to be honest I dont mind, it just a toilet,
I got many annoying/funny experience..

I remember once I had to go to the toilet, and I didnt want to go to the girls room but I did, however they where all engaged so I snerked into the boys room, as I got out I saw one of my classmate, he where the big muculous guy in my class who could have a bad mouth at times. saying "what the f are you doing in the boys room"
and I just said "all the toilets where engaged in the girls room and I just needed to pee"
he said he thought there where so cool, not to consider whatever it where a guy or girl room, I where really suprized in a good point it where nice..

generally I had alot of problems on my old school because of toilets.. I always wanted to use the male room,
and teacher/parrents where against it

the reaons where "you disturb the other people, they will get embarrased by you seeing there penis"
and im like "oh yeah because seeing some guy pee in a toilet REALLY turns me on" (I know im into guys but im not THAT desperate LOL)

I remember sneaking into the male toilet after I saw my teacher getting out, I knew I would get in trouble so I sneaked in after he where done, unluckely my ex boyfriend where ther and he notice me since I had bought a new hat and it where WAY to obvious it where me, he wanted to talk to me when I got out, about why I got into the guys toilet.. I where like Daaa,, I needed to pee..
but he didnt tell anyone so I where happy..

I stay away from public restrooms as much as possible, but I was traveling with family recently making it extremely unavoidable. I had to drive 12 hours twice as part of it too so I used a lot of rest stops and gas stations. Ladies love to inform me, "Um, you know this is the WOMEN'S bathroom." and I'm all, "Yes, thank you." and walk away. I hate it but I've never used the mens room while presenting as male and it scares the ->-bleeped-<- out of me. I got informed I was in the wrong bathroom I think 5 times and got weird/scared looks every other time. Just the way it goes, I guess. I need to start practicing using the mens room..

I avoid restrooms when I'm with my granddad, just 'cause he gets annoyed when I use the men's. I don't care. XD

I stopped using the women's after this one day at a restaurant with my friend and his parents.
I figured they could see the bathrooms from our table, or his dad might come in, so I went to the women's. An employee was mopping the floors, and when I came in, she looked at me and said, "Excuse me, this is the..." and just stares at me for a really long time with neither of us saying anything. Then she just goes, "Uhm, the seats are wet." Cue nod. XD I love how confused she seemed. 

It's so awkward for me to use the women's, even though I don't pass very well. I use the men's at school, even. I've seen guys in there who've heard people use "she" on me, or have even been told I'm trans, and they've never said a word to me. XD The principal was afraid I'd get raped, but stopped fighting it.

I mean, I even changed from my swimsuit to my regular clothes in a men's bathroom near this lake once. No stall doors, I used the shower and faced the wall. People walked IN. No one said a damn thing. XD

Edit: Remembered something.
First time I was ever IN the men's bathroom -- I was in 8th grade, post-haircut, pre-clothing being taken away. A guy friend and I were screwing around in the hall, he grabbed my backpack, I started chasing him. He went into the guys' bathroom, and I watched uneasily from the door.

Then I grew a pair, stormed in laughing, and went, "Boy, you think I ain't comin' after you?!" and he freaked out laughing that I was in the boys' bathroom. I snatched my backpack from him and walked out with it triumphantly over my head. A few people saw us and just figured we were stupid. XD

I wish I had the guts to use men's restrooms.  but I feel like I don't pass well enough.
Although every couple times, there is a women in the restroom who gives me weird looks. 

I keep telling myself that once I start T, then I will pass well enough to use the men's restroom.  but I don't know if I can get on T soon enough.

Things like this happened to me all the time before transition, but two particular times stick out:

1) Was eating at an Olive Garden, got up to use the restroom. I was 23, masculine-dressing, but not at all trying to pass as a dude yet. A guy followed me into the women's room, walked into the stall, and did what he needed to do. Meanwhile, I'm standing there wondering why there's a dude in the ladies' room. He even looked right at me on the way out, nodded like any guy would do with another guy. I guess he's just lucky he happened to follow a "woman" who was really a man.

2) Age 21, long before transition, I was driving cross-country and stopped at a rest stop in Illinois. As per usual, I walked into the women's room and straight into a stall. When I came out, there were three middle-aged women walking in. As I stood washing my hands, they stared at me, walked back out, walked back in, opened the door to check that there was, in fact, a label saying "Women's" on it, then walked back out. Thankfully, none of them said anything, but they waited until I was out to go back in. I had long hair and was wearing a padded bra!

As for being afraid to use the men's, we all have that problem early in transition. I had some guys give me some funny looks when I first started, but never had an incident. The way I figure it, it's far more likely you'll have the ->-bleeped-<- beat out of you by some girl's boyfriend for being a guy in the women's room, but most men just really don't care enough to do something if they think there's a woman in the men's.

I use the men's room if I seem to be passing well.  I'm not a fan of drama, so if I am looking more feminine or with people who think I'm a girl I'll use the women's.  I used to hate having to pee at my old job.  The boss told me that she was so glad she found me before having to hire a guy because she hated working with men, so yeah I wasn't going to risk outing myself there.  ::)  (Though I kind of want to now.  After three years of getting along fine she was having me run the shop.  It would be nice to get her to realize she works great with at least one guy.)

Ah, I was wondering if anyone was going to make a thread on using the women's restroom. Whenever I am out in public I never use any restroom even though I pass most of the time as male, just because usually I am with family and I'm not sure how they'd react to me trying to use the men's restroom.

In school, however, when I do need to go I use the women's restroom. The problem is, I pass as male most of the time, so whenever a girl sees me in there I get a weird look. One time I was just finished using the toilet and ready to leave, when a girl walked in. She saw me and asked "Am I in the wrong place, or are you?" I was so embarrassed at that moment that I just mumbled "Don't worry, you're in the right spot," then I left before she could say another word.

The problem is that even though I pass to people that I don't know, the people that do know me expect me to use the women's restroom. So it is mainly an issue of who am I going to please... I've been thinking of bringing this up with my guidance counselor next year to see if there is some unused or unisex restroom I can use, or even if I have his permission to use the men's restroom or what... I would be really happy if he'd say it was okay for me to use that restroom, because at least then if someone I know sees me I can say I am allowed to be there. My guidance counselor has known me all three years I've been in high school so far and has known me as Henry the entire time, but nevertheless I am unsure as to whether or not he would be supportive of me if I told him that I was transgender and needed to use the men's restroom...

Anyways, it was interesting to hear your guys' restroom experiences, so I figured I'd put one up here too, haha.

Don't know what state you live in, Henry, but I know that at least in the western U.S., they have laws that say transgendered people are entitled to use the restroom that matches their presentation. You can't be legally penalized for using the men's in those places, regardless of whether it's in a school or elsewhere. However, I do know that a lot of places still have laws that make it illegal for someone to use a restroom if they're not that legal sex.

Quote from: Sebastien on July 20, 2011, 08:55:08 PM
Don't know what state you live in, Henry, but I know that at least in the western U.S., they have laws that say transgendered people are entitled to use the restroom that matches their presentation. You can't be legally penalized for using the men's in those places, regardless of whether it's in a school or elsewhere. However, I do know that a lot of places still have laws that make it illegal for someone to use a restroom if they're not that legal sex.

I live in Florida, so I think I may be out of luck... Though I'm not really sure. I think that for things to work out it might just need to be a tricky combination of some accepting school administrators. From what I've observed my guidance counselor seems to be a pretty accepting guy, but he'll probably have to have it approved through some higher administrator like the principal or something so that's where it might become touchy. I think the best course of action might be to bring up the matter carefully... and if he is accepting, but he thinks someone else won't be, work it out with him where the situation can be explained. Actually, on second thought, the therapist that I'm seeing said something about her being able to go through the school to get it where I have to use some unused restroom. But that just seems like making a big deal out of what to me is just trying to use a restroom comfortably... So I guess I'll just see how the first plan goes and work from there. Or something like that.

Ugh. The first time I had the balls to use the men's was when I was totally pissed off my head at a pub and I had another drink in front of me. I could not for the life of me hold it in, and I just went for it. The seat was all covered in piss, the floor was sticky and it smelled like ->-bleeped-<- but I came out a happy man. I even went again the same night :D

I went once more as I was queuing in line at a gig, for about 5 hours and went to pee, as I was walking out a woman walking towards me kindly informed me that 'that's the men's' and I was just like '...I know??'.

Finally I was recently at a club for my 18th and again I was drunk enough to use the men's, there was no toilet paper, so I had skanky boxers that night :P I have no idea how I would manage a stp, but when I'm on T and had surgery I'll have to learn.

Usually I avoid using public restrooms. Because of the stress I get pee shy, in either toilet (that is why being drunk sways my decision because otherwise I'd wet myself and laugh at it). So again I was at a gig, and I had to pee or I would have had to wait about 5 hours for another chance to pee. But the barrier was up and then I decided to jump over, and a friend queuing with me did too. But like a gig friend, who I've only met twice. And doesn't really undestand my situation. So last minute I went to the ladies. But then I was like, oh ->-bleeped-<-! This girl is waiting for me now. <not allowed>. Why do women do this. I was already finding it hard to pee, I was really upset being in there, but then when I realised I was in a rush I had to squeeze my bladder and then tried to meditate and all sorts. It was horrible. When I came out more people (girls) I knew in the line were waiting. It was humiliating for me, blarghh. Big problem for me to go to a gig like this, because usually I want to wait ages so I'm at the front. But I WILL need a pee, ugh. I hate using ladies rooms, I come out afterwards and I feel utterly awful. After I come out of the men's room I feel smelly and triumphant. :)

Edit : anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

Quote from: DevinJW on July 20, 2011, 09:13:42 PM
anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

I've heard counting down backwards from 10 works.

Quote from: DevinJW on July 20, 2011, 09:13:42 PM
Ugh. The first time I had the balls to use the men's was when I was totally pissed off my head at a pub and I had another drink in front of me. I could not for the life of me hold it in, and I just went for it. The seat was all covered in piss, the floor was sticky and it smelled like ->-bleeped-<- but I came out a happy man. I even went again the same night :D

So it was no different than any other guy using the bathroom. ;)

I don't have to deal with women's bathrooms anymore, but when I did I don't think I ever got weird looks.  Although, I rarely used multi-stall public toilets.  I was so afraid of..I'm not even sure exactly.  It was so uncomfortable using the girl's bathroom in high school.  So I barely drank anything and held it until after school.  Thankfully I didn't have any problems, but that could have ended badly for my kidneys.  I really don't recommend doing that.

My first experience using a men's toilet was in high school I think.  I found a single-stall bathroom in a diner and used it.  This was pre-T/pre-op.  Probably wasn't passing well, but no one cared.  I was so happy though.  It was a difficult, but very necessary, step in my transition.

Quote from: DevinJW on July 20, 2011, 09:13:42 PM
Edit : anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

I whistle to myself.  Either that or imagine I'm sitting on a toilet (because that's what I did, and still do, for many years).  If I really can't go, I wash my hands and leave.  Walk around a little bit.  Then go back and try again.

For reasons still unknown to me a lot of people out in public don't take me for male at all. I usually look for the unisex toilets or if it's just a small single toilet. I hate the women's restrooms. There have been times where I've gotten "the look" too. Usually from older women or teenage girls. But I don't feel comfortable using the men's restroom either.

I don't pass at all, so I still use the women's. XZ There have been two noticable incidents though. :P

I was at a winery with all of my family, and I wasn't feeling too crash hot so I looked like hell, and I went in and used the women's. There were only two stalls, and the other was busy (we'll come back to that) so I took the last one. Then a little girl came in and was going 'Come ON! I need to go to the toilet! Hurry up!' so I rolled my eyes and hurried, then let her in. She just stood there staring at me, then I stepped around her to get to the sink and she slowly stepped forward into the stall. I looked up in the mirror and caught her staring at me around the door. She shut it and I shrugged and left, I looked back at the door and saw her coming out in the mirror. At the end of the little hallway I looked back and she was staring at the female sign above the bathroom door. :P

It wasn't until I got back to the car with the rest of the family that I found out it was one of our friends in the other stall, she was talking about this little girl who had tapped on her stall wall and gone 'There was a boy in here!'. And I burst out lauging and went 'That was me!' then everyone had a good laugh. :P It was a really great experience, and made me feel a lot better about myself. :P

The other time was not that long ago, when I hung out with my best friend who I hadn't seen in ages. We went to see a movie, then at the end were both busting so we went to the toilets, and both of us kind of paused outside the doors and he was just like 'Well this is weird...' as we seperated and went into the different bathrooms. On the one hand I was sad I had to use the women's, but it made me feel awesome that my friend was so used to thinking of and seeing me as male that even he felt weird about me using the women's. :P

I do get 'the look' every now and then in the women's toilet, but it makes me feel awesome. :D

I have learned that I am not missing much when I don't use the men's washroom. The ones I've been in are really gross. Apparently cis-gendered men don't feel any reason not to piss and ->-bleeped-<- all over the bathroom. Among other things. Since I think gender segregated washrooms are stupid anyway, I usually go into whichever one I feel might actually have toilet paper, or one which I will not catch an infectious disease.

I just don't use public bathrooms. Problem solved.

Actually, when I was in 6th grade, I was so embarrassed to go into the girls' bathroom that I held in my pee anytime I was in public, or I used a family/unisex bathroom. Recently, since I have started passing frequently since around January, I have tried using the mens' bathroom twice. On my birthday, and on my friend's birthday. On my friend's birthday, I went into the bathroom, I was on the toilet but got too nervous to pee because none of the other guys that were in there peeing were making noise, and my pee is loud. So, uh. Yeah.

Oh man, I've had so many funny restroom encounters over the years. First one I remember was at a Denny's when I was around 6 or 7 years old. An employee had the women's restroom blocked off for cleaning and I could not make the dude understand that yes, I was a girl and I needed to go in that bathroom, not the men's room. Since then I've had a couple of women follow me out of the bathroom to ask me why I was in there (thought that was a bit weird, but whatever) and I confused the crap out of some poor old guy working at a rest stop in Virginia.

The worst is when I have to ask an employee for the restroom key. I never have any idea which key they're going to give me, so I have to hope it's labeled or just try both doors and see which one opens. Concerts, football games, and other events where there's alcohol are kinda fun, though. The drunk girls will stop and double-check the bathroom door when they see me walking in with them. :D

clear facts; guys room are groose, and girls room are crowded.
--
I actually been to a comic-con where there where toilet signs; male; female; unisex;

it where kinda funny like "in caise you dont know ;)" but it where nice for transgender,
I think the reason might have been there many who crossdress to this kind of conventions.

I was once in a library where the men's restroom was on one side of the library and women's restroom was on the other.  When I went to ask where the restroom was, the man behind the desk pointed out both of them.

I've gotten "the look" before too in the women's restroom, though I haven't had anyone say anything to me.  I'm still really nervous about using the men's room and have only been a few times.  My first time was at a Red Lobster and thankfully there was no one in there.

i always use mens rooms except for school. i use either the health office bathroom or the theater office bathroom it used to be gender neutral but now its boys but everyone uses it.

last year i wasnt out yet at school but people who didnt know me read me as male so once a teacher i didnt know was like "excuse me thats the girls bathroom" i replied "exactly." i find thats the easyest way to deal with situations like that.

also once at the country club my parents belong to i asked where the bathroom was and they would only tell me where the mens room was. i wasnt out at the time so i had to go to the womens and the people who  worked there refused to tell me where the womens bathroom was. it caused me great distress as i hate going to the womens room anyway.

Quote from: anibioman on July 24, 2011, 07:09:05 AM
last year i wasnt out yet at school but people who didnt know me read me as male so once a teacher i didnt know was like "excuse me thats the girls bathroom" i replied "exactly." i find thats the easyest way to deal with situations like that.

one time back when i was still using the womens someone came in and asked "is this the womens restroom?" and i said "no, this is the parking garage. the womens restroom is on the 2nd floor." (we were in a one story building)

i get odd and weird looks when i use the woman loo, and yes  i have been told "u know this is the woman loo" i was like yeah i know, at college some guy saw me coming out of the woman loo and said "dude why did u go in to the woman loo :L the gents are over there" then after that i stoped using the public loo. But since i went to a male full time and i seem to pass quite well (Pre everything too), i started using the gents no one said a thing no one looked....came out feeling much happier. Yes the 1st time i used it i felt like my heart was pounding so fast and hard it felt like it was going to come out from my mouth.

I've always hated using the women's restrooms for as long as I can remember; I've always felt awkward and as though I didn't belong (which I didn't) and it has always earned me weird looks, even during junior high and high school. Consequently, personal history has resulted in a habit of holding it when out and about and in public unless I really, truly could not. This has been true even during school and on road trips.

For a little while now I have been using men's restrooms when in public, though I still retain the habit of preferring to hold for the most part. I have never had a problem doing so, and even when there are other men (or boys) in there it has been as smooth and natural a thing as there could be. Have even exchanged a nod or two.

I've actually refused to use a restroom when pointed to the women's and deciding I didn't want to deal with that (especially as they were visible from just about the entire restaurant): fortunately, I only needed to wash my hands. I made do with napkins instead.

Where I work currently, however, there are no employee restrooms and the only option is men's or women's -- I'm also not out at this job and the smock I have to wear apparently hinders passing (it was actually something I needed to adjust to, the fact that I was pegged so often and so easily as female). It feels wrong using the women's restroom even there, even with a uniform, and I dread needing to use the bathroom. Often I have no choice though. I end up feeling like I'm doing something illegal with the precautions I take. It's seriously ridiculous. Not to mention anymore I get paranoid that a mother will either think I'm in the wrong restroom or determine me to be an unknown and jump to the conclusion that I'm a pedo (because I know there's mothers out there like that) -- does anyone else deal with that concern? Or am I just strange?

As for the claim that men's rooms are dirty and gross: I personally haven't seen that to be anything more than a stereotype. I've worked in retail for some time now and so have heard stories about the bathrooms, I've also had to clean them on occasion at my last job (which was at a gas station convenience store at that), and there's really little difference (at least in my area and experience). Believe me: women's restrooms can be horrendous while the men's has been virtually spotless or just a little dirty. As for the mention of men not feeling any reason not to ->-bleeped-<- and piss all over, I can guarantee that some women don't either -- with the extra bonus that they also have a time of month if you get what I'm saying. I've never noticed a difference in the restrooms I've only used either...perhaps it depends on the type of establishment and/or whether they clean their restrooms regularly, but I've also had people support my experience from different areas, so take from this what you will.

I don't pass yet, but I think I look more androgynous or slightly more male than before, because some service people do not address me in a gendered way (saying Sir or Ma'am is customary where I live) and have a confused look on their face when they hear my deepening voice and look at my face.

That said, I use the men's when I feel it is safe and comfortable to do so. I would prefer to do it all the time, regardless of how clean or gross it is. I will definitely use it all the time once I know I pass 100%. For now, though, I assess whether it is safe, considering what kind of place I find myself in. Queer establishments are usually fine, straight ones less so, especially if they are grungier or more traditional.

Last time I used the girls' room was probably January, and I couldn't do it. I actually started to have a panic attack, couldn't piss, and just ran across the hall too the guys' room. I was with a friend who (at the time) was completely unsupportive of me, and I was terrified that if I went in the mens' room initially he'd call me out on it. It never happened, I finally got him to comprehend how serious this is, and now he's on my side 100%. We actually ended up in the bathroom at the same time last time we were at the bar, and he just made a "Well isn't this awkward" joke.

I've found that if the women's is closed and the men's isn't busy or if it's a "solo" mens' restroom (like where its just you, and a locking door, no stalls) I'll take up the dgaf attitude and go in.

Months ago after my girlfriend turned 18 we went to a gay nightclub on the strip that allows 18+ on friday nights. I eventually had to pee really bad, and walked into the restroom with her and realized it was the men's. I asked the attendant in there where the women's was and he said it didn't matter and not to worry about it. I accidentally blurted out "Cool!", my girlfriend thought it was hilarious (but she waited outside). I actually took my time in there. Although there were a lot of straight guys in there that night none of them thought anything of it.

Quote from: DevinJW on July 20, 2011, 09:13:42 PM
Edit : anyone have any tips for being pee shy? Like how to make yourself piss when it's refusing to come out? I try regulating my breathing, closing my eyes, imaging I'm somewhere else.

Oh I hate that!  I have always been so pee shy.  As a guy I always sat down to pee in public because it seemed to make me relax more.  As weird as this sounds, try holding your breath... this tactic saved me in highschool.  Just hold your breath until you are about to pass out, and you should start peeing =)
Hope this helps... and don't pass out!

clear facts; guys room are groose

If you meant 'gross' then you're wrong.  Big restrooms at big public events, like nightclubs, concerts, etc. tend to be far more messed up then the men's rooms are.  The higher the income bracket of the women, the worse the room.

Quote from: tekla on July 24, 2011, 09:00:03 PM
clear facts; guys room are groose

If you meant 'gross' then you're wrong.  Big restrooms at big public events, like nightclubs, concerts, etc. tend to be far more messed up then the men's rooms are.  The higher the income bracket of the women, the worse the room.

i think the messiness of the restroom is directly proportional to the amount of time the occupants spend in it.

Last night I was at a burlesque show and had to use the restroom at intermission, yeah that was awkward.  I don't pass well at all and because it was hot as hell and I was coming from work I didn't have my binder with me, so I used the women's restroom, haha which led to me standing awkwardly in line feeling distinctly male and uncomfortable and like the ladies had a feeling I didn't belong there either.  Haha I have to say, it's always when I'm with a group of women that I feel like we all know I don't quite belong there :-p

Haha and to comment on the cleanliness of bathrooms (just cause I clean them at work) in my experience the men's room is usually dirtier (we have a mostly male customer base) and tends to smell like pee more often, but the women's room is usually where the more digusting things occur (because the women are too embarassed?  idk).

I use the men's whenever I can, much more comfortable for me.  I find them usually cleaner where I go.  The women's can be a mess at times with girls not getting there sanitary items all the way in the bins. Seemd like when I ask I am always directed to the men's.  At school where I am known to some the students and instructors, I use the men's in buildings where I am not likely to be seen by someone I know.  When I have to change my tampon I do it quickly rap the old one in TP and wait for the chance to get it deep in the trash.  I wish there were more single person restrooms.

Even though I pass so often with people that haven't known me previously, I almost always use the woman's restroom simply because my town is so small. :/
The chances of me running into someone in the men's restroom that knows me or that someone that knows me will see me going in or out are pretty high.
I'm not ballsy enough to just be like, yup, I'm using the men's. But who knows... Maybe I'll be able to buck up one day and say, "->-bleeped-<- you, I'm a man." lol.

Quote from: tekla on July 24, 2011, 09:00:03 PM
If you meant 'gross' then you're wrong.  Big restrooms at big public events, like nightclubs, concerts, etc. tend to be far more messed up then the men's rooms are.  The higher the income bracket of the women, the worse the room.

Yep, gotta agree with all of this. I've noticed the same thing about the messiness and income level in the women's room. Maybe the higher income women are used to having a maid clean up for them or something. I can't imagine these ladies doing some of this disgusting stuff in their own homes.

I've also worked as a janitor in a few places and the men's room was almost always cleaner than the women's. It seems counterintuitive, but remember that a lot of women try to hover over the toilet seat to avoid germs in public restrooms, so they tend to miss the bowl more than men do.

Maybe the higher income women are used to having a maid clean up for them or something.

'Entitled' springs to mind.

i havent used the womens ina long time. The last time i went in one i cant remember. But one time all the girls ran out screaming theres a guy in the girls bathroom............................................i was in the mens at an amusement park july 2 and on the corner of the floor was a pair of mens tighty whiteys caked in poo. Oh it was gross and funny at the same time.

Quote from: driven on July 25, 2011, 02:48:06 PM
Yep, gotta agree with all of this. I've noticed the same thing about the messiness and income level in the women's room. Maybe the higher income women are used to having a maid clean up for them or something. I can't imagine these ladies doing some of this disgusting stuff in their own homes.

I've also worked as a janitor in a few places and the men's room was almost always cleaner than the women's. It seems counterintuitive, but remember that a lot of women try to hover over the toilet seat to avoid germs in public restrooms, so they tend to miss the bowl more than men do.

Blargh seriously? I know my mum goes as far as putting paper on the seat. But isn't hovering over the seat a vicious cycle of : there is pee on the seat, I will not sit on it. Now there is more pee on the seat.
That's silly. My past experience of ladies toilets, before I came out, was pretty much always clean enough. Usually the more dirty the venue in general the worse the toilet. I don't care how disgusting the men's toilets are ha! I'm always too concerned with going in and getting out and then happy I balled up and did it.

Lol when I stp I don't piss on the seat cuz its up. Also in my own house I keep the bowl cleaner because I actually look at it before I aim.

I have yet to use the guy's room outside of a few instances. One I can remember was I was going to a cafe and they had 2 bathrooms in the back 1 for guys, 1 for girls. Seeing as I don't pass that well I opened the girls and turned on the lite to see someone puked on the floor. Me being me I just said whoops wrong bathroom and peed in the guy's.

Because of the fact that I rarely pass as a guy (maybe 20% of the time :-\), I go to women's public bathroom. But when there is no one I just rush to men's bathroom. lol. I'm really fortunate that there is a gender-neutral bathroom at my school.

Ah...the loo...terrible experiences but funny too lol

I started using the male bathroom just recently - twice so far. Once I was alone so not much trouble. But another there was a guy using the urinals. I was very emarrassed and I was afraid he'd see my boobs.

Not so long ago I preferred using the female bathroom since I was wearing my bra and my boobs looked well...feminine lol
And there was this guy who was holding the men's bathroom door open for me. I was kinda embarrassed but it was funny. I just ordered my binder and it's on the way I guess, so now I don't have to be embarrassed.

And oh, another thing. When I use the female bathroom, they all just stare to see if I have boobs because I don't have big ones fortunately and I can easily hide them with wearing a baggy t-shirt :)

Nearly 7 months into my transition I had a car mechanic tell me: "the women's room is through the hall and the men's room is through the doorway to the left."

Passfail to me. But at least maybe he thought I was adolescent enough to to the men's room? Whatever. I've been using the men's room since starting testosterone. I feel icky and wrong being in the women's room.

Quote from: hexr on July 21, 2011, 03:04:48 AM
I have learned that I am not missing much when I don't use the men's washroom. The ones I've been in are really gross. Apparently cis-gendered men don't feel any reason not to piss and ->-bleeped-<- all over the bathroom. Among other things.

Wondering where you're living, because my experience is the opposite - it's the women's restrooms with piss and ->-bleeped-<- all over. Among other things. Men's rooms are generally pretty damn clean by comparison.

Quote from: BMXJake on July 20, 2011, 07:02:45 PM
...
Anyone else want to share similar experiences?

Found this thread inspired with one of the recent threads. :)

In fact I wished to share my first experience in woman's restroom. It has been a while. When I got in there, I examined the seat /habit/. No kidding, it had a ->-bleeped-<- smear on it. I cursed. Used toilet paper to remove it and then covered the whole seat with more toilet paper before sitting there.

The funny thing is, I have never had to remove someone's ->-bleeped-<- form a seat before. Hated it!

I've seen some pretty filthy washrooms, both men's and women's, so I think it really depends where you're at.  I also had many incidents when I used to use the women's washroom.  I went to a casino with my then girlfriend,her mother, and her cousin (MTF), and we all went to the washroom together (like most women do go washroom in a pack :laugh:).  We were the only ones in there to begin with, then a well-dressed middle age lady walked in and saw me from the mirror and screamed!  She literally ran outside yelling "there's a man in the washroom! security!"  My girlfriend and her cousin went outside first and told the security "she's a woman".  I can never defend myself by saying "i'm a woman" because it's just wrong  :(.  So when I went outside, the security looked at me and before he opens his mouth, I was ready with my ID and put it in his face.  He looked at it and nodded so I walked away.  That woman however was questioning the security and wanting to see my ID.  So I turned around and said, "you have no rights to see my ID, but I do have the rights to demand an apology from you!" and walked away.  Although I was happy deep inside that I was seen as male, it was so awkward because it got confrontational.  Using the men's washroom even pre-T was never an issue because most men just go in, do their business, and out.

ive never had a problem. that isnt to say it doesnt happen, but men are very strange to be honest!

its so taboo to make eye contact with other dudes in the mens room that like, cis guys are TERRIFIED to do it. My brother, cis straight dude, taught me the ins and outs of the mens room, which i will share with you!

-Dont make eye contact, but dont look like youre trying not to make eye contact.
-act like you 100% belong there. if theres a line, look bored or annoyed, check your phone. Look nonchalant, even if youre nervous.
-go in, do your business, go out. lots of cis guys prefer to use the stalls to pee, and even pee sitting down!
-if you ARE confronted, continue the appearence of belonging. Even if you are freaking out inside, if someone asks you 'you know this is the mens room right?' be confident and say something like 'you know im a dude, right?'
-be confident, but not overly so. Chances are, nobody will even pay you any mind anyways. I wasnt even binding the first time i used a mens room, not a single person cared and it was a crowded disneyland bathroom. dont look like youre out to prove something, just look really bored.

Sometimes, things can happen. it can be scary and even violent, and its actually better to go in a crowded bathroom than a deserted one, because if theres people around nobody will mess with you. If you ARE met with violence, do your absolute best to get outside of the bathroom. Always use bathrooms that have people outside them (a waiting area or somewhere with a lot of foot traffic) or even take a buddy with you. Nobody will think twice if two dudes go in together, as long as they arent in the stall or something. Be safe, but try not to worry too much about it!

I use boys restroom.So far nobody asked me anything.At University I told to people I'm intersexual.Since we study medical related field they're all totally cool with medical issues.Outside Uni I also take a risk when I have to go...bigger problem is that I'm disgusted by public toilets,they're often very dirty..Maybe people don't react because they don't notice fear...I enter so sure because it's natural.Of course i always use cabins.Most is about attitude so far.Oh and I have flat chest,it helps A LOT,no need to bind them most of the time.Sometimes I don't shave and then I have beard.

It's more awkward for me to use the women's room. I think I pass pretty well now, so if I use the women's room I just get these stares, hence why I use the men's room. I just go in a stall. It's funny actually I was at pride this month and they have coed bathrooms, guys and chicks share, two stalls and a wall full of urinals, so all the chicks waiting for the stalls, I'm waiting and this guy behind me goes you know there's urinals back there you don't need to wait. My reply was I'm pee shy, I like the stall lol I never had anyone say anything to me when it comes to using stalls, guys don't really say much or notice.

Quote from: Ryan55 on June 28, 2015, 07:06:55 AM
It's more awkward for me to use the women's room. I think I pass pretty well now, so if I use the women's room I just get these stares, hence why I use the men's room. I just go in a stall. It's funny actually I was at pride this month and they have coed bathrooms, guys and chicks share, two stalls and a wall full of urinals, so all the chicks waiting for the stalls, I'm waiting and this guy behind me goes you know there's urinals back there you don't need to wait. My reply was I'm pee shy, I like the stall lol I never had anyone say anything to me when it comes to using stalls, guys don't really say much or notice.

Honestly I hate to be the guy who says this and generalize, but I swear straight guys are so afraid of being perceived as gay they are too scared to say anything in the bathrooms anyways. Most of them anyways lol

Boys and girls are just...different. girls socialize in the bathroom, chat and whatever. Guys don't. Its just a thing I guess.

One day, I went into the men's room (as a cis man) and found a woman in there at the mirror... putting makeup on her male friend?  I don't really know what was going on.  It was a bit crowded, and I had to pee.  And you don't go staring at people in the men's room.

I beelined to the urinal... and one of the guys with the woman started to tell me off!  He realized what he was saying, and shut his trap.  If she was going to be offended by seeing guys standing in front of urinals, she wouldn't be in the men's room.  She didn't even glance at me.

Don't look.  Don't talk.  Better yet, hold your breath.  Wipe the seat before you sit down.  You'll survive.

Men who know eachother will often walk into a restroom together in the middle of conversation, stand at adjacent urinals and keep talking.  Many guys will say "don't talk to me when I've got my cock in my hand."  It's a lot easier to admit that you're homophobic than pee-shy.  Also, machismo insists that touching your cock sexualizes the entire context somehow.   Pissing becomes an expression of manhood -- it's a territorial thing.  Talking to strangers means acknowledging that you and a competing male are simultaneously, paradoxically, marking the same territory and not killing eachother over it.  I wonder if this isn't a hard-wired reflex that we make up stupid justifications for.

Quote from: FlightyBrood on June 28, 2015, 03:02:40 AM
ive never had a problem. that isnt to say it doesnt happen, but men are very strange to be honest!

its so taboo to make eye contact with other dudes in the mens room that like, cis guys are TERRIFIED to do it. My brother, cis straight dude, taught me the ins and outs of the mens room, which i will share with you!

-Dont make eye contact, but dont look like youre trying not to make eye contact.
-act like you 100% belong there. if theres a line, look bored or annoyed, check your phone. Look nonchalant, even if youre nervous.
-go in, do your business, go out. lots of cis guys prefer to use the stalls to pee, and even pee sitting down!
-if you ARE confronted, continue the appearence of belonging. Even if you are freaking out inside, if someone asks you 'you know this is the mens room right?' be confident and say something like 'you know im a dude, right?'
-be confident, but not overly so. Chances are, nobody will even pay you any mind anyways. I wasnt even binding the first time i used a mens room, not a single person cared and it was a crowded disneyland bathroom. dont look like youre out to prove something, just look really bored.

Sometimes, things can happen. it can be scary and even violent, and its actually better to go in a crowded bathroom than a deserted one, because if theres people around nobody will mess with you. If you ARE met with violence, do your absolute best to get outside of the bathroom. Always use bathrooms that have people outside them (a waiting area or somewhere with a lot of foot traffic) or even take a buddy with you. Nobody will think twice if two dudes go in together, as long as they arent in the stall or something. Be safe, but try not to worry too much about it!

Yeah this is pretty much it. It's one of the reasons i still opt to use the men's atm. I'm at this point were i feel a little unsure as to how people are perceiving me. At least in the men's no one actually cares as to who walks in and does their business, can't be so sure about the women's.