Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Sorry it is a COGIATI question, but since ever I answered it (in the positive) it's on my mind.

Getting older makes you think of the "impossible" ... actually to die some day.(Came pretty close just the other day...0

The youngsters out there may not care to answer this, 'cause at least for them it seems such a long way off. It also seemed to me that way not too long ago.

It may be of interest for both of us MtF and FtM and also how about if your documents do not show your chosen gender? And if you pre- or non-op? Will THEY check "down there" and it becomes an issue?

One could argue it's not ours to chose, let "them" do what they like as me "moved on", but I can get a great bit emotional about this issue, really, really do.

How about you girls and guys?

Axelle

Its in my Trust to be cremated with No service and my ashes distributed in the forest, as who I am, Sarah Louise.

If you have children, would they be OK with this?

You know there is something to be said for having to go to a grave side for some "Zwiesprache" ... ?Communion? (yet another untranslatable German word?)

Just pondering,
Axelle

Its fine with my kids and my spouse.

My wife and I both plan on cremation. We neither have any wish for a grave of any sort.

But a number of years ago, we thought about where we would scatter our ashes. So far, I've decided I definately need to be scattered in about 7 diferent places, my wife a few less.

We are both gonna need more ashes.

My father was cremated and when my mother and sister went to scatter his ashes, they were in a small row boat and the wind came up unexpectedly and blew that ashes back in my mothers face.

She got a good laugh out of that.

Death certificate will reflect the name on legal documents.  Grave marker shows whatever someone pays the engraver to put on it. 

That being said, the running joke in my family for many of us is that a Hefty bag and a dumpster works for us.  I really don't care what happens to the body...it isn't like I will have family surviving me in all likelihood, so I don't need a plot and marker anywhere. 

My body is getting donated to science.  It's not like I'll ever have any use for it again.

It doesn't matter what they do to my body, but I cannot stand the idea of someone putting up a stone with my former name on it. It jolly well had better say "Elisabeth Anne" or it, or it would be the same as having none. It would erase my existence.

Kia Ora,

::) I'm giving my old body to science, [they already got my old penis and testicles  ;) ;D]

I  discussed it with all my children and they are happy with this and think it's a good idea...

Besides it's possible [depending on my karma] I'll be trading it for a new model with all the mod coms  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)

I am getting cremated when I die, with the ashes scattered in a few select spots.  After that, my family and friends can make/erect whatever memorials they wish and call me whatever they wish.  After all, the memorials are for them, not me.  I will have moved on to either a new state of existence, or to nothingness.  Either way, I'll not be around to protest.  ;)

A while back, I was seriously thinking about killing myself. To the point where I was trying to figure out who I was leaving what to.
All this planning ended up being what saved me, but that's besides the point.
I decided then and there, the I will NOT accept anything other than being buried as me. Nick.  Nick Goddamn Ransom. That's who I am.
I want one of those "natural burials" or whatever they're called. Where the plant the tree on you and all that? Yeah. Go ahead and call me a hippie. I've always liked that idea, possibly from growing up in a house with coffins just down the hall.

I would prefer that this body be burned upon death and the ashes dumped into the sea, but I imagine it will be a long time before I'd be able to legally specify that (heh if ever). Really though it doesn't matter. I've gotten used to wrong information being propagated about me by the corporate-government complex. I'm reasonably confident that those who know me well will remember me correctly (assuming they don't die first) and they are the only ones who's idea of me really matters anyway. I certainly don't plan to stick around to find out what happens. I will be glad to be rid of this and onto the next life. Statistically it almost has to be better than this...

I think I want my body donated to science. I like the idea. But I would like a funeral service (if it isn't a lot of trouble on my family) and I would like to be referred to and dressed as male during the service. It's been a sort of fear of mine that I will die and my mother would make them put a dress on me for the service. I don't think I'd be comfortable with that.

I kind of want a marker, though. I think a tree-memorial would be nice, we have one at the elementary school where I live for this kid, and another at the middle school for another kid. Having a tree planted and being a memorial to me sounds nice. If I ever decided to be buried, I like N. Chaos's "natural burial". It sounds very nice.

my daughter does "green" burials.

Quote from: LordKAT on July 27, 2011, 03:15:37 AM
my daughter does "green" burials.

What are they?

Quote from: Cindy James on July 27, 2011, 03:46:11 AM
What are they?

I asked the same thing. Apparently the embalming stuff as well as your casket and trimmings are all biodegradable. Your body has less 'shelf life' however so the burial HAS to happen within 3 days.

I have written in to my funeral plan that I will be dressed, and made up as Cindy. That there will be an open funeral, so any one who didn't accept me in life can see me in death. My executors are aware and are fine with it. I will be cremated and I don't give a toss where I will be tossed.

For a memorial I have been playing with Carlota's words.

Here lies Cindy.
More of a man than you will ever be.
And more of a woman than you will ever have.

Quote from: LordKAT on July 27, 2011, 03:51:02 AM
I asked the same thing. Apparently the embalming stuff as well as your casket and trimmings are all biodegradable. Your body has less 'shelf life' however so the burial HAS to happen within 3 days.

Sounds a bit weird in some way. I'm not sure why.

Cremation seems to be the ultimate 'green'?

Hugs Hon

Cindy

I've seen this as more of an issue with end of life decisions (whether to continue life support or not) and donating organs (or the whole thing) to science.  Be very careful who you choose to carry out your final wishes.  Despite your best intentions, written or not, it is your loved ones who will make those decisions for you.  As for "chosen gender" I would imagine for most people this would come at some point beyond the end of transition and they would be only their chosen gender.  For crossdressers and everyone else, make sure the person handling your "affairs" is not only clear on your wishes, BUT you're confident will follow through on them.  More then one crossdresser has gone to their final resting place in their best suit when they were sure that their loved ones would send them off in their favorite blue dress as they'd requested.

Actually as I think about it now, keep in mind that you may just love how you look in that low cut, tight fitting club dress - your kids on the other hand may not be as comfortable sending off "dad" that way.

I think I will die alone, and probably throw me into a mass grave  >:-)


I want to donate organs too  :angel:

I know my dad would respect my wishes but barring the unthinkable he will go first.  I know my mother would not honor my wishes... sister is a maybe she accepts but is still dealing, brother hell no...  So really I am unsure at this time....

However I do not want my organs going to anybody else as I'd get no say on the person they'd be saving and I'll be damned before I save an ->-bleeped-<-.  Also I just don't like the idea of being say on a table for science... so ya.  It will have to be a burial or cremation.

I'm jewish and non-op.  I would like a jewish burial, wearing my favorite nightgown.  Jewish caskets are always closed.  Since the Old Testament specifically forbids men from wearing women's undergarments, I have always wondered if they will do it.

I have no plans, but after my last scare of the chest pains, I need to.  Just cremate me and spread my ashes in the ocean.  If I could afford it, I would have some launched into space.

I either want an oak tree planted on top of me, because oak trees are beautiful and sadly quite rare here in Sweden (in the olden days, we cut a lot of oak forests down to make warships since oak is hard wood, and they haven't grown back), or I want to be made into a diamond and then buried deep in the earth (yeah, really sappy, but the idea of surprising someone making a vegetable patch or whatever is fun. "Oh, look what I found when I was tilling the field, Mom!"). I want to be buried as Elias, as a man, not as a "Beloved Daughter" or anything. I think I'd want them to play either "Death is the Road to Awe" from the film The Fountain or "Welcome to Lunar Industries" from the film Moon, and quite possibly Hope by Bauhaus ("Every morning would be brighter if you broke the line and tore up rules, make the most of your living time, no?"). I want them to make the ceremony a non-religious one.

What a coincidence that I was just thinking about this earlier today. I was actually thinking through my head of this really macabre conversation I wanted to have with my SO when they came home from work but now I'm thinking that it can wait. I don't want them be scared that I might do something bad to myself.

I think I would want a cremation. If my future pans out the way I sincerely hope and imagine it to be, I would be cremated and the remains buried. While the idea of scattering the ashes is a romantic idea to me I don't really agree with having it done for myself. But if I'm not cremated I have the utmost hope that I'm buried in -anything- but a dress. They can remember me how they like, whether they remember me as she or he, they'll still remember I was the same person no matter what pronoun or name they used. Wherever I go after this life I don't think its going to matter what I was here on Earth.

Just went through this with a family member.  The funeral home made a nice dvd with pics from the deceased's life from childhood on. Was very nice.  Except not something I want for myself, for obvious reasons.

Once I'm gone I suppose I shouldn't care what people do.  However I think my kids would respect my wishes, and I hope not to die until I am much older and they are in charge of my funeral.

If I were to die now I could not guarantee my family wouldn't revert to having a funeral for "Girl Name".  And that would tick me off. I might have to haunt them.


Jay

I've put this on my list of things that I'm going to worry about after I'm dead, and not before.

Tekla, good girl!

one more BS item of my todo-list before I'm dead.
Actually why give those poor survivors another headache yet, when they just got rid of one - me :-)

Thank you,
Axelle
PS: So - Don't worry, be happy --- take some more E2 if needs be, heehee

If they give me enough attention when I'm alive I'll let them ignore me once I'm dead.

I'm definitely getting cremated too.  I love heat and fire, but cold and darkness give me fits and make me depressed.  Though I'll be long gone, I'd rather not leave my body to the conditions it doesn't like while it's alive.

Besides, ashes fly. ;)

I really don't care since I'll be gone.  But I guess, like it's been mentioned, that it's far off, so maybe it will change.  I guess when I'm older, that will be something I discuss with my family, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be as a female.