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Alright, that's overwrought and shows great impatience, and afterall, I well remember what one was like. Messy, sticky and momentary. But how long after surgery should it take for the orgasms to start? It's been a bit over eight weeks since surgery for me and I've been trying for a couple of weeks during dilation using a buzzing momma's helper. I am still somewhat numb in the area around the cltoris, so I guess I'm not surprised - just more then ready to get that part of the proceedings moving ahead. 

Just now, thinking about it, while I am somewhat impatient for results, I remember as a male how penile-centered the experience was. I have some good feelings (all over down there, not concentrated in one organ like before), but I definitely await the hopefully not far off sparklers and fireworks.

Is it time to dilate again? No? Drat!

Susan Kay

Susan,
you are answering my question --- by posing your question.

Even with boy-parts I have more prolonged 'dormant" periods that before HRT, not a question.

Yet when it happens it usually can get quite explosive, not ALWAYS though.

Having had some stimulation with "mommas helper" as you called it, did only make me feel good but got boring after a while. Oh hell.

Are we still too male-like-goal-oriented? It is a known fact that old habits die slow...

That would mean having to learn new habits --- I guess so, or?

I can only hope if same will happen to me, that all penned up sex-energy will show the way through the "valleys and over the mountains".
And then something (I guess/hope) just have to GIVE --- FGS :-)

Now handing (:-) over to the experts in this here theatre,
Axelle

Nerves take a while to heal when they've been pushed around. Be patient. Oh, and take a (safely) high dose of Vitamin E for a month or two (but no longer), as this promotes nerve healing. I suffered damage to the nerves in my hands, and taking vitamin E brought back feeling quite quickly when nothing else was helping. It's most effective when taken after food with oiliness (like fried food or salad dressing, or even just a spoonful of good oil), as the body absorbs more of it that way.

Meanwhile, have fun playing around - the orgasm may be the icing on the cake, but the cake is bloody good on its own sometimes :).

Quote from: Axélle on July 29, 2011, 02:37:03 AM
Are we still too male-like-goal-oriented? It is a known fact that old habits die slow...
That would mean having to learn new habits --- I guess so, or?

Probably very true. As a male I can count on both hands (when they're not busy  >:-)) the number of times I failed to launch, and it was very distressing. Females have more so accepted that she may climax - she may not - it's not such a big deal. And I think I have somewhat adapted that attitude. As in transition, the journey is half the fun - now that it's over! The big O is a reward, not a goal. Keep telling yourself that, self!  ::)

Susan Kay

It will come......

As a male functioning, if "you get stuck" for lack of a better word it is frustrating --- YEEEEEES!

As a girl, hum... maybe it was nice of sorts anyways, so let's move on.

I have had experiences that left me feeling just fine by not "getting there" and then I had some others that my whole body was getting really involved --- hey, hey, hey!

And lastly, we still have that "quicky" wham bang thank you ma'am.

I think all this variety is girl territory, the latter mostly male, or?

And not to forget, if now we do not have our .... warm-up session (foreplay) not much is doing hon. At least IME.

Easier to make the male horny than the female IMHO. But if, then....! Ummm! :-)

Axelle

It really varies person to person. I know girls that have had orgasms a month after surgery.

I , myself, have only experienced "almost" orgasms so far and I'm 4+ months post-op now. Mind you I had a lot of extra healing and such ...that coupled with the fact that even before surgery, it was hard for me to orgasm on my own (partners are better!) =)

Relax and stop being concerned about reaching orgasm, it will never happen if you are so concerned and anxious about reaching this state.  Reaching climax isn't all about the physical touchy feeling, there is also the state of mind you are in.  Clear your mind, relax and just let things happen,  good things come to those who wait.

It will happen, you just need to learn how.  It is all very different to what you were probably used to.

Good luck.

Dinky, such a good, wise girl... exposure to that South-East, eh.
Axelle

I was afraid I'd never have one due to the lack of a C. But like life, weeird things happen.
About the 8 month mark I decided to try a bullet. (look it up).
A few minutes later, legs shaking, WOW....

It scared me a bit actually. Girls, your built differently than you were. The old techniques just will not work. Just relax, take a deep breath and explore your self.

And the reason some girls cant? Their partners are klutzes for the most part.

Quote from: juliemac on July 30, 2011, 04:45:36 AM
Girls, your built differently than you were. The old techniques just will not work. Just relax, take a deep breath and explore your self.

Exactly, explore yourself.  These are the words I was told after surgery.  Nerves are in different places so lay back and explore yourself, feel and find out where things are and what areas feel nice to the touch.  I was also told that by doing this it would help the nerves to 'remap' themselves to your new body but I don't know how true this is.

Being told to masturbate "for medicinal purposes" FTW ;D.

I must of been some 'medicine-man' in my former life, oh my!
->-bleeped-<-e... :-) Lost paradise?
Axelle

A friend of mine saw Dr. McGinn recently and she told her that before SRS it is a good idea to start touching the head of the penis as if it were a clitoris when masturbating. More of a rubbing with your fingers than the up-down stroking we did before. She said it was a good way to get your body more used to what you would have after SRS and could make having an orgasm later easier to obtain. So there you go, medically advised masturbating  ;D I've tried it and gotten good feelings are you are saying, but it just won't quite put me over the edge. Usually I succumb to the temptation to go the old way. The resulting orgasm is great and much better than before, but I know something better is on the horizon.

Melody,
yeahhh, I know what you say and it also applies for me.
I got this going to "circular" motion all on my own.
Good to know I was only following doctors orders! :-)

Yet as you experience(d) it, not going "over the edge" either. I just feels good.
ALSO, if after some time that "dangle" gets semi-errect it puts things out of order --- and so we go back to our old fashioned ways, eh.

"Kommt Zeit, kommt Rat" as the saying goes.
But other doctor's orders are also: not to go dormant and ignore your dangle completely (pre-op), lest your body forgets there was something more often the Xmas, heehee.

Axelle

So, in the beginning, God came to Adam and Eve and said, "I have two special gifts to give, one for each of you. Who wants to be first?"

Adam, being the man, was like, "Me! Me! I wanna be first! give the first one to me!!"

So God said to Adam, "Okay, you get the first gift: You get to pee standing up."

Adam was like, "Yay! I get to pee standing up! What a great gift!"

Then God says to Eve, "I guess that means you get the multiple orgasms."


I had my first after surgery at 8 weeks.  It was another 6 months or so until the next one.  The triggers are just different now, and it is certainly for me an all-body experience.  The other night my boyfriend was rubbing me down there, very vigorously, and I must have had like 5 or 6 in a row- and then there were the aftershocks.  I was shaking all over.  It is definitely waaaaay more intense for me now than it ever was before surgery.

That said, it also just isn't that important to me anymore.  Sure it feels nice, but I actually get much more pleasure from pleasing my partner, from giving myself to him completely, from knowing that my body is able to give him pleasure.  Surgery brings a whole lot of changes and since it's our sex organs being operated on, naturally we should expect that surgery will change pretty much everything to do with sex, including how we orgasm.

FairyGirl,
what an insightful post in deed, just kind of lost my speech over that.

Thanks, time to have a hot bath... IMG :-)
Axelle

I'm beginning to think what we all need is a cold shower!   ::)

Susan Kay

It took me about 4-5 months of trying before it became "routinely possible".

For the first 4-8 weeks, I didn't want to go exploring at all. I was just waiting around for things to heal up first.

I've got some tips that I think should help.

First, don't just "go for it", sadly us females are wired that we can't just orgasm because we're bored. We need to get in the mood, something has to trigger the juices (so to speak).
for me, anything can set me off, a hot guy or girl, a song playing on the radio that reminds me of a night/time with someone, porn, a touch, a feeling, the right food, it could be anything and it comes on very quickly, but very unlike pre-hrt/grs where is I don't have to do something about it.

When you're starting, don't just go for the clit, build and work your way up into it, try new things. The shower head pretty much ALWAYS works, where as a vibe and be hit and miss because its too much sometimes.

find what works for you, music, anything could work if you spend the time getting to know yourself. every female has to learn what works for them, my best friend (cis-female) only started masturbating a few years ago after she told us that she never had an orgasm. She got to learn her body and she now tells us that its every time she has sex she orgasms.

The overall keys are, don't rush it, get to know your body and get yourself in the right mood.

Nicole

Val,
how about a new thread: "Seek volunteers for sensuous massage"

Sure there'd be some fine offers :-)

Axelle

Orgasms are sexual energy being built up during sex and then it just releases and you mind goes blank for about 2 seconds, its just amazing!

 :icon_giggle: :icon_giggle: :icon_giggle: :icon_giggle:OHHHH JULIE JULIE JULIE LOL LOL YES YES YES LOL!!!!!  except fot the 2 second thing last a little longer :)))))))))

Watching again "Sex and the City" (part one), they go on about this magic "rabbit" , made in japan $900!, and find it woooooooooooow, - can't get enough of that good stuff.
This was pre 2000, it seems you just rediscovered that magic.

Can't wait to give that a try, in the series the one girl literally refuses to leave her bedroom, in want of more and more and more...

Now I have to do some stretches and chill.
Thanks for pointing it all out... heya
Axelle

my BF keeps tellimg me the same thing , BE Careful because then no one will measure up , let it be a treat :)))

Hi Val,
I'm sure a really nice bf (Mr. Big? Yummy) is more "exiting" but whether he be able to measure up?

In the series they even show the rabbit's action, this thing "doodling" about and doing all sorts of motions - nothing like your normal vibe-thingy.

Just saying, and hey whilst we wait for Mrs. Perfect it's just as well to stay in good practice --- please, who would want to argue about THAT.

Practice make perfect, no? :-)

Axelle
PS: US$900, I hope that price came down!

So much high-tech proposed for such a low-tech procedure! But maybe ... afterall, in the meantime the low-tech still isn't working. * sigh *

But it is different; as a male, failure to launch was a major blow (should I re-word that?). Male ego and genital concentration I guess. So far it's really just a minor disappointment. The other night I asked myself, "If I never have one again, does that negate the importance and benefit of the change?" Self answered immediately, "NO!" Orgasm is orgasm, self is much, much, more!

But - I still wish ...

Susan Kay

OH AXELLE DAHHHHHLIN Im with you lol lol no arguements here ms lady

Quote from: Suigeniris on August 12, 2011, 02:22:24 AM
:icon_giggle: :icon_giggle: :icon_giggle: :icon_giggle:OHHHH JULIE JULIE JULIE LOL LOL YES YES YES LOL!!!!!  except fot the 2 second thing last a little longer :)))))))))

LOL ok

I'm at about 4 1/2 months and I'm defenitly orgasmic BUT, and this is a BIG but! I'm learning that you need to find new triggers for it to happen and right now it takes a LOT longer to get there. Don't be to worried right now, It's not easy to do but it will happen for you

Oh yeah, I remember orgasms.  They made your heart go OMFG!!!  But that was in another reality.  I had GRS 3/09 and since then I've had 4 orgasms - all in my dreams.  Not that I haven't tried while awake.  I have, many, many times.  But I've pretty much given up now.  I just wait for the next great dream.

Quote from: Valeriedances on August 15, 2011, 05:54:00 AM
I'm seeing Brassard next Friday specifically for this problem. Will report back my findings.

In the "Consent For Surgery" Brassard had both Julie and I sign (and I'm pretty sure this has been and still is a standard form for him) it says,

"Therefore, I understand precisely, as this has been explained to me.

A - That it is an "apparent", "visible" sex change...
B - That the operation is absolutely irreversible...
C - That after the operation, I shall no longer be able to have masculine orgasm, the sexual satisfaction that I may obtain will be above all psychological;"

At least he's honest about orgasm.  An awful lot of girls go into this thinking they will be orgasmic, almost as if it's a guarantee.  But what we end up with is very different than what GGs have.  I know Bowers claimed in one of the documentaries featuring her "All my patients are orgasmic" but I know that's not true.  Some GRS surgeons skip over the details, probably because they don't want to get into what is effectively an unavoidable fact that is unsettling to most prospective patients.

If you can reach orgasm without the physical touch, you will orgasm after GRS.  If you need a lot of physical stimulation, you may never orgasm.  The bottom line is if the brain won't take the lead on this, orgasm is going to be difficult to achieve. 

i've a friend who can't get there without a passionate lover. i myself can force it in 5 min if i really want to, but it doesn't leave me much satisfied really, just slightly relieved. and there are women who've been married for years with a good sex life and kids, but have never experienced an orgasm. that's how different women are

no need to rush it if you feel ok waiting for it to happen at its own pace, but i don't think it's unhealthy to explore your body as much as possible. read some hentai or yaoi manga to get weird ideas to try out, i had much fun doing that, but unfortunately no lover to try some other things with

I would think that females (GGs and TGs alike) respond totally differently mentally and emotionally to sexual stimulation. GGs start out learning about stimulation naturally and early and adapt and respond in most cases very well indeed! Us TGs have a learning curve to get over. Obviously every one of us has a different learning curve, from very short to infinity. We no longer can grab a handful of dinky and get there right away. I must use the Carnegie Hall approach: Practice - Practice - Practice. Accompanied by Patience - Patience - Patience. The non-existent option to go back to a dinky? OMG NO!!! NO, even if it was an option! NO!

Susan Kay

Quote from: Valeriedances on August 15, 2011, 11:44:05 AM
That sounds exactly like my experience, a psychological satisfaction. Not orgasm per se as in a climax.

It's just a little frustrating to read all these girls going on about orgasms (sigh). Maybe it means different things to different people.

I think that is it Valerie, and mine are mostly psychological now- there IS a physical component, but it is NOT the reflexive, discharge inducing, all-at-once-then-it's-over "climax" type.  I have had only 2 of that type since my surgery 14 months ago, and to be honest I do not like them at all!  They are too stressful, My heart beats way too fast, it causes palpitations, and almost causes me to go into a full blown panic attack.  The ones I have now are the full-bodied, waves sweeping over me type, but much more enjoyable (to me) and much less physically stressful.  There is no discharge or exact point of climax.

In my past life I had sex with my first boyfriend at a very early age, and just never stopped after that.  When I finally got on the proper hormones, and then had surgery, it was such a blessed relief.   I was poisoned by a testosterone fueled male libido that raged so fiercely that it never, EVER gave me a minute's rest, yet all the sex with all the partners was never, ever enough to fill that longing- that incredible, gaping pit in my soul caused by my dysphoria.

Now I have found much better fulfillment in just being close and intimate with my beloved, and focusing on him.  If it so happened that I never had another orgasm of any type, it would be no great loss to me.  I love feeling him next to me, holding me, inside me, and all these things are just enough for me now.  The greatest thing is that I am at peace in my body and mind, and there is nothing more valuable to me than that.

Quote from: Padma on July 30, 2011, 08:30:35 AM
Being told to masturbate "for medicinal purposes" FTW ;D.

Orgasms are overrated.

Quote from: xxJuliaxx on August 15, 2011, 05:45:13 PM
Orgasms are overrated.

they really are. for most women i think communication and finding pleasure together is a lot more important. and few things, if any, have been more annoying to me during the act than a man insisting on making me get there when i really only want to see the satisfied look on his face before we fall asleep. there's no point in it if it's forced unless it's for medical reasons

FairyGirl, that was lovely, completely lovely. If I can end up with something anywhere close to that then I will be so happy!

Susan Kay

Val,
I was just wondering, say you'd read some really nice juicy chick-lit novel (I read LOTS, so I KNOW) and then getting 'led there' --- it is then often UNAVOIDABLE that in some sort of "desperation" you start squeezing your thighs together, and then some more, and... ... ... whilst you read on, eh!

There comes a point, and you are not at all touching yourself, that your PC muscle (pelvic floor muscle) start WANTING to contract (Kegel exercise like). You go on like that and... see what happens.
Maybe not the first few time around, but hey.

So, I'm saying that seems to be far less connected to nerve bundles in the, say, the clit?

It is just that if not in a big O mood, there's at best only one very 'flat' or shallow O, as Taka also mentioned.
That BTW ALSO happens to natal guys too.

Axelle

Quote from: xxJuliaxx on August 15, 2011, 05:45:13 PM
Orgasms are overrated.

Hey, I was talking about masturbating, not orgasms per se - the journey has just as great scenery as the destination, if you travel slowly enough :).

Quote from: Padma on August 16, 2011, 03:00:32 AM
Hey, I was talking about masturbating, not orgasms per se - the journey has just as great scenery as the destination, if you travel slowly enough :).

Well I go on "journeys" about 5 times a day, so I get bored with em.