Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,

  ::) I "choose" to live alone but I get all the social interaction and the love  I need when interacting at work, with friends and when  with my children and other family members...In other words, the way my life is now is one of contentment, I'm happy when in the company of others and just as happy alone with my thoughts...However if I were to have a relationship it would have to one of the platonic kind, I'm asexual bi romantic/affectionate...So it would be ones personality and not ones gender that attracts me...

::) The idea of this thread and poll, is to find out where those of us who have reached their journey's end - transitioned physically/hormonally[with or without genital surgery] -crossed the gender divide, or are still journeying across the divide, are at when it comes to having their social & sexual desires met...

I know for many trans-people who have completed the physical part of their journey, their spiritual and or emotional and social journeys are still works in progress...


Thank you in advance for your participation ...

::) Remember it's the message-not the messenger... ;)


"If you want to feel more fulfilment in your life-you should want more of what you "already" have and not more of what you don't have!"     

::) I hope you all find what you're looking for...

Happy Mindfulness :)

Metta Zenda :)

Although I voted that I have my needs met and have an intimate/sexual life-partner, I want to be clear that my partner doesn't fill all my social needs, even though she is my best friend too. No one person can be your everything.

I get all the social stimulation I need, I have a close family and a varied group of interesting friends. To be honest I am frequently over-stimulated socially and need some time to rest. Especially during school times (where I work) during which I need more time alone after work.

I deal with intimate emotional things by talking to my sister and a few, very special friends. I would like to find a soulmate and enjoy those times, but I do not expect to 'create' one from the desire to create one.

I could do with someone sexually, and that area is something I am lacking fulfilment in, but 2 outta 3 aint bad.

Quote from: Zenda on July 29, 2011, 03:53:55 PM

Kia Ora,

  ::) I "choose" to live alone but I get all the social interaction and the love  I need when interacting at work, with friends and when  with my children and other family members...In other words, the way my life is now is one of contentment, I'm happy when in the company of others and just as happy alone with my thoughts...However if I were to have a relationship it would have to one of the platonic kind, I'm asexual bi romantic/affectionate...So it would be ones personality and not ones gender that attracts me...

::) The idea of this thread and poll, is to find out where those of us who have reached their journey's end - transitioned physically/hormonally[with or without genital surgery] -crossed the gender divide, or are still journeying across the divide, are at when it comes to having their social & sexual desires met...

I know for many trans-people who have completed the physical part of their journey, their spiritual and or emotional and social journeys are still works in progress...


Thank you in advance for your participation ...

::) Remember it's the message-not the messenger... ;)


If you want to feel more fulfilment in your life-you should want more of what you already have and not more of what you don't have!"     

::) I hope you all find what you're looking for...

Happy Mindfulness :)

Metta Zenda :)

If you want to feel more fulfilment in your life -you should persue more of what you do not have, and forget what you already have!"

If mankind would have follow Metta Zenda ill advice we will still be in a cave with no language, agriculture, or technology. Her philosophy only leads to a mindless state of disconnect with reality. Let me give you an example. The Tibetan lamas "saw" the incoming Chinese take over of Tibet, and what they did about? Send their chief to exile, and bend over and take it. 60 something years later, and no a F... chance Tibet will be free. In my personal life, I see this philosophy play with my Jewish ancestor in the 1930's and 1940's in Europe, very few of them did zilch, and went up in smoke.

I sbeg you, do not embrace this loosing philosophy, embrace you humanity, let your "thirst" or "greed" drive you to better places, to create, to transcend our animal nature.

Kate D

Note that I am expressing my thoughts, and I am not postig the views or viedos of anybody

Quote from: kate durcal on July 29, 2011, 08:55:31 PM


Note that I am expressing my thoughts, and I am not postig the views or viedos of anybody

Kia Ora,

::) I guess you're gonna make about as much sense as your medication allows you to Kate...I suppose it's to be expected, so as usual I've made allowances for it... ;)

::) I can see that you're well rested and all fired up raring to go...Well here's your shovel Kate start digging...You're on your own this time, no more help from me... ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Sunnynight on July 29, 2011, 06:05:12 PM
Although I voted that I have my needs met and have an intimate/sexual life-partner, I want to be clear that my partner doesn't fill all my social needs, even though she is my best friend too. No one person can be your everything.

Hear hear!

Based in my transtation I have chosen

I have "other" personal needs to be met-explain if you feel like it...

I only have social and sexual needs XD


I don't want a partner XD , i don't believe in love, i think is a mental state that disappears with time

At this time, I feel like I have no social needs. I'm not sure I understand friendship, or love. I also have no sexual needs... that's more straightforward.

I voted for the first one, but I don't know if I did it right. I currently have a content social life with my friends and my family. I don't have any wants in that department. I do eventually, post surgery, want to be in an intimate relationship with a wonderful partner. This guy will kind of be that piece that makes my life a little more complete. Ive been married twice to my best friends and I know what it is to have that, but this time it will be different. And I can wait a long time for a relationship if I have to, I'm not one of those people that seem to have always have to be in a relationship or life is hollow :)

Honestly, my life's ambition is to become a filmmaker, always traveling and shooting at different locations, seeing my screenplays come to life, and making honest, large sums of money in the process. I have a $30,000+ bill out of pocket to pay if I want to truly transition to the point that would be acceptable for me (multiple surgeries, hormones, outfits, ect ect) and filmmaking is really the only career that pays in a huge lump sum for immediate talent, instead of working the regular $8-an-hour paychecks. It's just like inventing a product, the sales and income methods are exactly the same; you make a lot of money in a very short time for bothering to do something outside the 'norm'.

And the reason why many people would not like to do that type of career (no matter how much they want to complain that these inventers, filmmakers, actors, ect etc are making more them) is that it indeed requires non-stop traveling; you cannot see family, friends, and it's usually not wise to even own a car or a house. It suits me perfectly; I have no friends, no family, no house, no car, ect ect and I want to busy myself into my career 100%. However, sexually, the most I need is hopefully a young hispanic male escort; and the most I'd do with this escort is probably flirt and touch, my sexual desires aren't really at all nasty. I have absolutely no innate desire to be with someone in a relationship!

Quote from: RhinoP on July 31, 2011, 01:29:42 PM
Honestly, my life's ambition is to become a filmmaker,
, the most I need is hopefully a young hispanic male escort;

What kind of credential or education is requiered to be a film maker?

You can hire Narela

Kate D

Quote from: Zenda on July 29, 2011, 10:43:59 PM

I guess you're gonna make about as much sense as your medication allows you to Kate...I suppose it's to be expected, so as usual I've made allowances for it
Zenda

Resorting to innuendos? Lost your mindfulness? What Buddha would say?

Kate D

always traveling and shooting at different locations  Not if there is anyway in hell they can prevent it.  Other than 'Starring Lindsey Lohan' I don't know of any other words they hate more in the industry than 'on location'.  It's not LA, it's not Hollywood, the costs double and then double again on location.  The first thing they think in Hollywood when looking at a script is: 'Isnt' there anywhere in LA we can make look like this?' 

you make a lot of money in a very short time for bothering to do something outside the 'norm'.  Again, not likely.  You make a lot of money doing one of the five movies Hollywood always does, and doing it in such a way that people are not immediately reminded that they are watching one of those same five movies.  And then only after a lot of years an a lot of success in getting people to watch what you are making.

And the people - directors and producers - who really do that stuff are about the most social people in the world.  It's all about who you know, and how you know them.

Quote from: kate durcal on July 31, 2011, 02:03:34 PM
What kind of credential or education is requiered to be a film maker?

You can hire Narela

Kate D

Yes, i no have friends, etc...  , and i'm VERY open minded to do all things in sex

My favorite phrase is ''No money no honey'' XD So...

There's absolutely no education requirements to being a filmmaker; some of the most famous names, like Tyler Perry, never went to college - Perry specifically never graduated high school. Shooting a film is also much different in today's time than it was in the 80's; more films are shot on location than not, and in today's time, the process is much more natural and from the ground up. The majority of the films you see in theaters, or more specifically indie theaters (where the films still make extraordinary amounts of money), are simply created by talented people who can dedicate their lives to the process, and when the film is finished, it's then sold (almost like a homework project) to a film distributer who wants to make money off it it; Lionsgate is famous for simply buying films and not funding/controlling them.

Basically, most laymen get a distribution company and a producer confused. A producer is a person who literally has stock piles of cash, and invest in a film project in order to get even more money out of it; they also have some levels of control over the film (aka the "Hollywood", though producers are usually specific friendly people and not companies). However, the "Hollywood" that most people think of simply does not exist. There's no "big film company in the sky" that all films are churned out of. The filmmaking process is made up of literally millions of creative teams across the country that film films in every state, every location, and every place they want to. Filmmaking is simply no longer done in a "Hollywood studio", nor are all films controlled by the big name companies like Warner or Fox. A big-name film may make $8 Million in revenue, but even the most underground unprofessional indie horror films that you can find at the dust bin of Blockbuster Video still do make lots of money for simply "being made"; you can find the most low-budget, goofy film in the world, and chances are it made at least $20,000 for the people behind it.

Specifically if you write and shoot films that are naturally geared for an indie distribution, or belong to "cheaply done" genres like that of Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity, the process is almost just like a bunch of college students filming a project for their teacher. There are complex factors to work out (insurance for your actors, funding the cameras and equipment, getting proper location liscences), but other than that, for most films, the act of filming it itself is relatively easy. It's much easier than say, being a doctor or a lawyer, and it's just because the process isn't well advertised (many filmmakers love being secretive), most people don't consider a career in that field. It also indeed requires traveling, press conferences, interviews, promotion, ect ect and while people behind the filmmaking process do have families and friends, it's not a "stable" lifestyle in terms of having a schedule. Just like the army, a filmmaking dad may have to be away from his wife and kids for months at a time. It's not a lifestyle that you can still attend a weekly book reading meeting every Wensday or the same church every Sunday.

Well, it may not be as unstable for the actors and filmmakers who can afford private jets and such, but...lol.

Quote from: kate durcal on July 31, 2011, 02:11:59 PM
Resorting to innuendos? Lost your mindfulness? What Buddha would say?

Kate D

Kia Ora Kate,

::) By trying to defuse the volatile situation [that you often choose to create], with light humour... I'm attempting to be "mindful" of your somewhat irrational, volatile mental state...

::) I'm sure the Buddha would approve of such mindfulness...

Metta Zenda :)

A big-name film may make $8 Million in revenue
made at least $20,000 for the people behind it.

You are not being realistic.

I've had an IATSE union card for a long time now, I don't do much in terms of movies, but I have done some majors, and I know a lot of people who do that side, and I don't think your close to being right.  It's not some mom and pop deal all over the nation.  It's pretty well set down in LA and NYC, and it's not a secret, there are major college programs that feed people to the industry.  And by far, most of the people in the industry get up in the morning in Los Angeles, and go to be at night in Los Angeles, and really, really never, ever want to go much of anyplace else except for exotic vacations.

Quote from: RhinoP on July 31, 2011, 01:29:42 PM
I have no friends, no family, no house, no car, ect ect and I want to busy myself into my career 100%.

That might be the most depressing sentence I have read in a long time. I hope things rectify themselves.

Quote from: Zenda on July 31, 2011, 04:59:32 PM

Kia Ora Kate,

::) By trying to defuse the volatile situation [that you often choose to create], with light humour... I'm attempting to be "mindful" of your somewhat irrational, volatile mental state...

::) I'm sure the Buddha would approve of such mindfulness...

Metta Zenda :)

Humor my ass, what a crock of ->-bleeped-<-, stick to you guns girl. Your phylosophy is the anti thesis of mine. You are trying to sell your belives, and I mine. Nothing more nothing less.

Kate D

Boy, were can I sign up for that kind of calm, peace, and contentment?  That kind of understanding, compassion and mercy?   I'm going to find out as soon as I rotate my tires tomorrow.

Quote from: tekla on July 31, 2011, 07:52:49 PM
Boy, were can I sign up for that kind of calm, peace, and contentment?  That kind of understanding, compassion and mercy?   I'm going to find out as soon as I rotate my tires tomorrow.

Kia Ora Tekla,

::) You can sign up for one of my beginners classes, just send the cheque[ $500 US] made out to the Zenda Trust  PO box oooo Auckland NZ... ;) ;D

Metta Zenda :) 

::) ::) No wait, you were trying to be sarcastic...Oh well, I'm quite OK with that, and to show there's no hard feelings I'll still let you send me the cheque anyway[just add a few more 0s to the end]  ;) ;D 

Kia Ora ,

::) Now I could ignore Kate's barrage of verbal attacks/abuse-which could possibly lead Kate to become 'even' more frustrated  :eusa_naughty: ...And from a compassionate view point  my silence could also be contributing towards Kate's suffering/mental anguish... :icon_userfriendly:

::) So out of compassion  :angel: I attempt to appease her frustration and ranting on  :icon_bunch: [of which in her case seem is quite habitual  :icon_blahblah: ], by trying to pacify her with light humour  :icon_joy: ...

::) But alas it would seem whatever it is that frustrates her so much[possibly she's not used to being challenged] is so ingrained in her psyche, sadly this has left her with a burden she finds hard to let go of...Hence the continuous "habitual" verbal abuse of whoever's brave or foolhardy  enough to disagrees with her... :icon_yikes:

::) Now how's that for some constructive psychobabble Kate ?  ;) ;)

Happy Mindfulness Kate... :)

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: RhinoP on July 31, 2011, 04:21:42 PM
There's absolutely no education requirements to being a filmmaker; some of the most famous names, like Tyler Perry, never went to college - Perry specifically never graduated high school. Shooting a film is also much different in today's time than it was in the 80's; more films are shot on location than not, and in today's time, the process is much more natural and from the ground up. The majority of the films you see in theaters, or more specifically indie theaters (where the films still make extraordinary amounts of money), are simply created by talented people who can dedicate their lives to the process, and when the film is finished, it's then sold (almost like a homework project) to a film distributer who wants to make money off it it; Lionsgate is famous for simply buying films and not funding/controlling them.

Basically, most laymen get a distribution company and a producer confused. A producer is a person who literally has stock piles of cash, and invest in a film project in order to get even more money out of it; they also have some levels of control over the film (aka the "Hollywood", though producers are usually specific friendly people and not companies). However, the "Hollywood" that most people think of simply does not exist. There's no "big film company in the sky" that all films are churned out of. The filmmaking process is made up of literally millions of creative teams across the country that film films in every state, every location, and every place they want to. Filmmaking is simply no longer done in a "Hollywood studio", nor are all films controlled by the big name companies like Warner or Fox. A big-name film may make $8 Million in revenue, but even the most underground unprofessional indie horror films that you can find at the dust bin of Blockbuster Video still do make lots of money for simply "being made"; you can find the most low-budget, goofy film in the world, and chances are it made at least $20,000 for the people behind it.

Specifically if you write and shoot films that are naturally geared for an indie distribution, or belong to "cheaply done" genres like that of Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity, the process is almost just like a bunch of college students filming a project for their teacher. There are complex factors to work out (insurance for your actors, funding the cameras and equipment, getting proper location liscences), but other than that, for most films, the act of filming it itself is relatively easy. It's much easier than say, being a doctor or a lawyer, and it's just because the process isn't well advertised (many filmmakers love being secretive), most people don't consider a career in that field. It also indeed requires traveling, press conferences, interviews, promotion, ect ect and while people behind the filmmaking process do have families and friends, it's not a "stable" lifestyle in terms of having a schedule. Just like the army, a filmmaking dad may have to be away from his wife and kids for months at a time. It's not a lifestyle that you can still attend a weekly book reading meeting every Wensday or the same church every Sunday.

Well, it may not be as unstable for the actors and filmmakers who can afford private jets and such, but...lol.

Kia Ora Rhino,

::) Sorry to hear you feel you have no friends etc etc... However I do wish you all the best on your quest to find a profession that will bring  happiness...

Metta Zenda :) 

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on July 30, 2011, 11:53:23 AM
I voted for the first one, but I don't know if I did it right. I currently have a content social life with my friends and my family. I don't have any wants in that department. I do eventually, post surgery, want to be in an intimate relationship with a wonderful partner. This guy will kind of be that piece that makes my life a little more complete. Ive been married twice to my best friends and I know what it is to have that, but this time it will be different. And I can wait a long time for a relationship if I have to, I'm not one of those people that seem to have always have to be in a relationship or life is hollow :)

Kia Ora Meghan,

::) It sounds like your life is rolling out quite well...One of the reasons I started this thread was I've met some trans-women who have friends and a social life but don't have a relationship and this tends to play a lot on their minds leaving them feeling quite miserable at times even when out socialising  with their friends...They are constantly on the look out for a partner and a long term relationship...

Thanks for your input...

Metta Zenda :)

I've never gone for long without an intimate partner...my friends have the craziest habit of falling in love with me. Not that I mind  ;D

So I don't really look for love or companionship. It just sort of...finds me. I do need sex, but don't really have a problem finding that either, on the rare occasions when I'm not in a relationship. Actually, come to think about it, I don't really look for that either. I'm a very quiet, private, introverted person who never makes overtures to strangers, and actually rarely even leaves the house. I have no idea how I have so many friends/partners/relationships.

And I'm not sure how well I'd function without social interaction/companionship, or to what extent I "need" them, since I've never really had to go without. But I do definitely get a little agitated if I don't have sex (or at least physical intimacy) for a few weeks. Definitely need physical closeness.

Quote from: Zenda on July 31, 2011, 04:59:32 PM

Kia Ora Kate,

::) By trying to defuse the volatile situation [that you often choose to create], with light humour... I'm attempting to be "mindful" of your somewhat irrational, volatile mental state...

::) I'm sure the Buddha would approve of such mindfulness...

Metta Zenda :)

Kia Ora Zenda

More insults eh?

If I am "irrational" obviously mentally ill, where is your Budhist compassion?

You let my posts disturb you, where is you Buddhist self control?

You cannot accept my philosophy, where is your Buddhist tolerance?

But you even claim to know what Buddha would or would not approve.

From your posting I can tell that you have read a fair amount of Buddhism, and certainly you have the ability to quote from the masters writting. But that is all you have, you have not master or can practice what you preach. Pity, all that knowledge and no consequence.

I hope this post will helpful you become more mindful of your actions.

Kate D

P.S. Your attempt to humor sucks

Metta Kate D

Quote from: kate durcal on August 01, 2011, 09:04:11 PM
Kia Ora Zenda

More insults eh?

If I am "irrational" obviously mentally ill, where is your Budhist compassion?

You let my posts disturb you, where is you Buddhist self control?

You cannot accept my philosophy, where is your Buddhist tolerance?

But you even claim to know what Buddha would or would not approve.

From your posting I can tell that you have read a fair amount of Buddhism, and certainly you have the ability to quote from the masters writting. But that is all you have, you have not master or can practice what you preach. Pity, all that knowledge and no consequence.

I hope this post will helpful you become more mindful of your actions.

Kate D

P.S. Your attempt to humor sucks

Metta Kate D

IMO Zenda has been extremely tolerant of your heckling.  Your posts are nothing short of bullying.   >:(

Quote from: kate durcal on August 01, 2011, 09:04:11 PM
Kia Ora Zenda

More insults eh?

If I am "irrational" obviously mentally ill, where is your Budhist compassion?

You let my posts disturb you, where is you Buddhist self control?

You cannot accept my philosophy, where is your Buddhist tolerance?

But you even claim to know what Buddha would or would not approve.

From your posting I can tell that you have read a fair amount of Buddhism, and certainly you have the ability to quote from the masters writting. But that is all you have, you have not master or can practice what you preach. Pity, all that knowledge and no consequence.

I hope this post will helpful you become more mindful of your actions.

Kate D

P.S. Your attempt to humor sucks

Metta Kate D

Kia Ora,

::) Kate, I'm humbled by your kind words of wisdom...For me Kate you are a blessing, you are what Buddhists call a jewel/gift... :icon_bunch:

::) When interacting with you one is given the opportunity to practice the following [just a short list of the wonderful things you awake in this humble Buddhist practitioner] 1) Altruism 2) Compassion 3) Concentration 4)Contentment 5) Devotion to practice 6) Effort  7) Generosity  8 ) Humility 9) Loving Kindness 10) Patience[one of my favourites ]  11) Tolerance...And another of my favourites "Humour"...

::) I can't thank you enough Kate for just being you...But alas "nothing is permanent" so it's quite possible you will eventually change your ways, and when you do I hope you find the inner peace you have been searching for...

Many thanks Kate and I really do mean this...

Metta Zenda :)       

Quote from: Hermione01 on August 01, 2011, 09:38:33 PM
IMO Zenda has been extremely tolerant of your heckling.  Your posts are nothing short of bullying.   >:(

Kia Ora Hermione,

::) Your heart's in the right place and I thank you...But please tread carefully when responding, I have no wish for you to also become a target of Kate's...

I actually meant what I said to Kate...She is a precious tool a "blessing", she provides me with a most welcome challenge...

Metta Zenda :)

Maybe you should change it to 'psycho-sexual creatures' --- little doubt about that.

Quote from: Sunnynight on July 29, 2011, 06:05:12 PM
Although I voted that I have my needs met and have an intimate/sexual life-partner, I want to be clear that my partner doesn't fill all my social needs, even though she is my best friend too. No one person can be your everything.

I don't believe the " no one person can be your everything."  My significant other is my everything to me, too bad I seem to be the only one in the world that feels this way!

i have social, intimate, and sexual needs which can't possibly be fulfilled by one person

my social needs can't be fulfilled in my current situation. i need to both see other people than family at least once a week and have enough time alone without anyone bugging me about anything. right now i'm living with my family, which pretty much means i can't get time alone, and as i don't own a car i can't just leave this place to go see other people (we live in the middle of nowhere)

my intimate needs aren't fulfilled right now, but could be by a few close friends and family members. possibly also a partner in a platonic relationship

my sexual needs could be fulfilled by a person i'm not in a relationship with, but right now i make do with whatever i can find on the internet. the best thing would be if my sexual and intimate needs could be fulfilled by one and the same person, but it's not necessarily the only option

How'd this thread turn into an entertainment industry diatribe? I just skimmed ... but whoever originally was inquiring about that, take my advice and don't try to get involved in that suckhole. It may seem glamorous and exciting from say an outsider, mid-west, pie-eyed point of view but it's a really slimy industry. No real way to explain it all in a short post. And also, if you don't already know someone who's IN, you can pretty much forget it as well.

As to the original subject ... I think it's debatable that every human being has a certain set of needs. Obviously there's hermits and asexuals who kind of throw the whole notion out. I'm not a hermit or an asexual. I just happened to move about 800 miles away from all my friends and exciting things to do and I also married an asexual. So most of the contact I have with friends is through internet and phone and I have very few that I physically socially interact with. If it were up to me, I'd want to be more social but the area I live in kind of kills that. However, I don't feel I absolutely need the physical social interaction to that level to be happy either. The sexual thing is something I've struggled with my whole life. Not having a "normal" body really puts a spin on things, not being comfortable with being typecast in the "female" role puts another spin on things. Having been involved in some bad situations puts another spin on things and has basically left me with a lot of hang ups. I feel like I need physical intimacy but there's no possibly way I'm getting it, so I just try not to think about it a lot.

of corse we are sexual and social animals. Like other sexual social animals the instinct to be love and the deisre to belong is at the core of who we are.

Personally my journey neve endes, more love, more sex, more money. The more the better, I specificslly want more of what I have little. E.g. I have littyle boobei, I want bigger boobies  :laugh:

Jen61