Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: ativan on July 31, 2011, 12:57:23 AM Return to Full Version
Title: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: ativan on July 31, 2011, 12:57:23 AM
Post by: ativan on July 31, 2011, 12:57:23 AM
Another nick, it may pump clean, it may not. I haven't the strenght nor steadyness to do much more damage,to an all ready damaged body.
Do you suppose you dream to a fade in hypotension?
Do you suppose you dream to a fade in hypotension?
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: AbraCadabra on July 31, 2011, 01:36:12 AM
Post by: AbraCadabra on July 31, 2011, 01:36:12 AM
Say WHAT?!
Axelle
Axelle
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Lisbeth on July 31, 2011, 08:56:03 AM
Post by: Lisbeth on July 31, 2011, 08:56:03 AM
Quote from: Axélle on July 31, 2011, 01:36:12 AM
Say WHAT?!
Axelle
Ativan is passing out from too much cutting. This appears to be a suicide note:
Quote from: Ativan on July 31, 2011, 12:48:59 AM
Today was filled with death, of memeories best forgotten, I cut myself on purpose and watched the blood flow with the knowledge it would clot before being fatal. I took tens times as many of one of my meds in the hope that I don't wake up tomorrow.
There wasn't a single thing to be happy for, as pathetic as that may seem to be. I'm happy that I don't want for anything, anymore.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: AbraCadabra on July 31, 2011, 11:47:02 PM
Post by: AbraCadabra on July 31, 2011, 11:47:02 PM
Lisbeth,
I see.. now it makes some sense. Tragic? In dire need of attention?
Not sure what to say right now...
Do we see this more often? Am rattled, I am.
Thank you for filling me in,
Axelle
I see.. now it makes some sense. Tragic? In dire need of attention?
Not sure what to say right now...
Do we see this more often? Am rattled, I am.
Thank you for filling me in,
Axelle
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Lisbeth on July 31, 2011, 11:59:19 PM
Post by: Lisbeth on July 31, 2011, 11:59:19 PM
In my time here I've seen a number of people leave notes that they were committing suicide. Sometimes they come back later. Sometimes we don't hear from them again. Whether they carried through is usually unknown. If there is any member of Susans who knows the person face-to-face, we hope they check on them.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Anatta on August 01, 2011, 01:23:01 AM
Post by: Anatta on August 01, 2011, 01:23:01 AM
Kia Ora Ativan,
What is it that's got to you ? Why are you feeling so low ?
Metta Zenda :)
What is it that's got to you ? Why are you feeling so low ?
Metta Zenda :)
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Lisbeth on August 01, 2011, 06:09:47 AM
Post by: Lisbeth on August 01, 2011, 06:09:47 AM
Quote from: Zenda on August 01, 2011, 01:23:01 AMAtivan may or may not be able to read this, Zenda. Most likely scenario is ze is laying in a hospital bed after having ihr stomach pumped.
Kia Ora Ativan,
What is it that's got to you ? Why are you feeling so low ?
Metta Zenda :)
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Julian on August 01, 2011, 10:00:32 AM
Post by: Julian on August 01, 2011, 10:00:32 AM
This is hypocritical of me to say, but Ativan, please try not to hurt yourself. I know what it's like to want to, but in the long run it hurts more than it helps. I hope you're going to be all right. You're in my thoughts.
Ju
Ju
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: espo on August 02, 2011, 06:55:28 PM
Post by: espo on August 02, 2011, 06:55:28 PM
Ya, he's in my thoughts too :embarrassed: <----- that's me looking worried but I have a feeling he's a survivor so I also look forward to his return.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: ativan on August 03, 2011, 12:04:52 AM
Post by: ativan on August 03, 2011, 12:04:52 AM
you dream. got caught. fixed me up, filled me up. 3phone calls later, I'm going tohave to break into my kit or just say ->-bleeped-<- it and let the arrest me for leaving. Dumb ->-bleeped-<-ing ER's, you can just get up and leave.
ativannnn
ativannnn
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: AbraCadabra on August 03, 2011, 02:57:14 AM
Post by: AbraCadabra on August 03, 2011, 02:57:14 AM
Gee hon, welcome back to world --- though you still do sound dang waked out.
And don't be a ->-bleeped-<-e to those folks that helped you. Makes you look too mean.
Just saying,
Axelle
And don't be a ->-bleeped-<-e to those folks that helped you. Makes you look too mean.
Just saying,
Axelle
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Eva Marie on August 03, 2011, 09:21:14 AM
Post by: Eva Marie on August 03, 2011, 09:21:14 AM
Glad that you're still with us, Ativan.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Lisbeth on August 03, 2011, 12:15:51 PM
Post by: Lisbeth on August 03, 2011, 12:15:51 PM
Please, get help. You can't do this all on your own.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Anatta on August 05, 2011, 12:16:16 AM
Post by: Anatta on August 05, 2011, 12:16:16 AM
Kia Ora Ativan,
::) At times ones thoughts can play havoc with ones mind... One way to over come this is to remember that "Thoughts are only as real as one chooses to make them !"
::) I'm glad you are past the worse...
Metta Zenda :)
::) At times ones thoughts can play havoc with ones mind... One way to over come this is to remember that "Thoughts are only as real as one chooses to make them !"
::) I'm glad you are past the worse...
Metta Zenda :)
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Sage on August 05, 2011, 08:01:29 PM
Post by: Sage on August 05, 2011, 08:01:29 PM
Sage forbids you to die. :P There is always another day, another chance to make one's life better. You can do it. We believe in you. ;D
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: ativan on August 09, 2011, 12:53:45 PM
Post by: ativan on August 09, 2011, 12:53:45 PM
"Be whoever you are, but be loud. Be completely fearless when you do it. That's the big thing. Just be a fearless person. A fearless artist, a fearless accountant. Whatever you want to be."
I am fearless. For a few years there, my day didn't start that way, it was just a continuation of the previous day's, fearlessness. Without fear of anyone or anything.
Until the day I said (I said),'you have gotten more than you asked for', and walked away. Forever. Without fear enough to look back to see who was behind me.
I have been the one who controls my destiny, although I have very little to do with it, anymore. I have more dignity than bravado, these days.
I am fearless. For a few years there, my day didn't start that way, it was just a continuation of the previous day's, fearlessness. Without fear of anyone or anything.
Until the day I said (I said),'you have gotten more than you asked for', and walked away. Forever. Without fear enough to look back to see who was behind me.
I have been the one who controls my destiny, although I have very little to do with it, anymore. I have more dignity than bravado, these days.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: AbraCadabra on August 09, 2011, 01:00:08 PM
Post by: AbraCadabra on August 09, 2011, 01:00:08 PM
Honey, you still speak in riddles but things seem to look up, eh.
So long you are naturally stoned by the beauty of it all and being alive, that be so good.
Just bear some with us poor critters that don't follow your flight in those clouds all the easily.
Be good,
Axelle
So long you are naturally stoned by the beauty of it all and being alive, that be so good.
Just bear some with us poor critters that don't follow your flight in those clouds all the easily.
Be good,
Axelle
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: BunnyBee on August 10, 2011, 11:38:23 PM
Post by: BunnyBee on August 10, 2011, 11:38:23 PM
You better not think of leaving us Ativan! <3! I adore your sense of humor. You have such an interesting perspective and such a rad way of putting things into words. You really do seem like a cool person. If there is anything I could do to help, please let me know. I'm serious about that.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: ativan on August 10, 2011, 11:59:09 PM
Post by: ativan on August 10, 2011, 11:59:09 PM
I will forever take that into concederation, then.
I will be seeing the stitching up guy on friday, I think they can come out now.
Med changes, and I wasn't taking the ones I have to have. I have apologizes to make, I'm sure. IRL there has been lots.
I just don't want to go through the side effects.
I will be seeing the stitching up guy on friday, I think they can come out now.
Med changes, and I wasn't taking the ones I have to have. I have apologizes to make, I'm sure. IRL there has been lots.
I just don't want to go through the side effects.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: ativan on August 13, 2011, 09:03:41 PM
Post by: ativan on August 13, 2011, 09:03:41 PM
I'm much better today than I was before. I don't remember the first half of this thread, and I'm sorry if I put a scare into any of you.
wobbled into the clinic, they decided a little cauterizing would do the trick. Ever smelled human flesh burning? The nurse was very good at talking to me about it. It sticks in your nose really bad.
Then I wobbled back up here in my super secret hide away that everyone knows about, and now you do, too.
A Grateful Ativan
wobbled into the clinic, they decided a little cauterizing would do the trick. Ever smelled human flesh burning? The nurse was very good at talking to me about it. It sticks in your nose really bad.
Then I wobbled back up here in my super secret hide away that everyone knows about, and now you do, too.
A Grateful Ativan
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: BunnyBee on August 13, 2011, 09:25:58 PM
Post by: BunnyBee on August 13, 2011, 09:25:58 PM
<3 Thank you for updating. I hope things get better. Never hesitate to ask me for help.
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: AbraCadabra on August 14, 2011, 01:29:57 AM
Post by: AbraCadabra on August 14, 2011, 01:29:57 AM
Woopsy,
back with the more comprehending rest of the public. Glad to hear/read it, really.
Seems one MAJOR "mood swing" had grabbed you by the boo-boos, I guess it happens.
->-bleeped-<-e happens, another lesson to learn? Thankfully often we do.
Lovely to hear you speak in your clear voice.
Heads up,
Axelle
back with the more comprehending rest of the public. Glad to hear/read it, really.
Seems one MAJOR "mood swing" had grabbed you by the boo-boos, I guess it happens.
->-bleeped-<-e happens, another lesson to learn? Thankfully often we do.
Lovely to hear you speak in your clear voice.
Heads up,
Axelle
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Taka on August 14, 2011, 05:24:26 PM
Post by: Taka on August 14, 2011, 05:24:26 PM
ouch, something happened while i was away..
i'm glad you woke up again ativan! it would feel lonely without you around, and i'm totally serious about it too. you've helped me understand things that i didn't even know how to ask about, things that made life easier for me when they found their right place, and for this you shall have my ever lasting gratitude
i'm glad you woke up again ativan! it would feel lonely without you around, and i'm totally serious about it too. you've helped me understand things that i didn't even know how to ask about, things that made life easier for me when they found their right place, and for this you shall have my ever lasting gratitude
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: ativan on August 17, 2011, 03:21:23 PM
Post by: ativan on August 17, 2011, 03:21:23 PM
So I go into see the doc for a couple things and ask him if he'll renew my script for Vicodin. No problem. Although I actually do use them for my knee only when it hurts bad, still, you'd think.....
Just makes me appreciate ya'll that much more!
Ativan
Just makes me appreciate ya'll that much more!
Ativan
Title: Re: do you dream in hypotension?
Post by: Julian on August 17, 2011, 04:55:21 PM
Post by: Julian on August 17, 2011, 04:55:21 PM
You'd think so, wouldn't you? Alas, it can be way too easy to get things like that. I'm amazed at how easy a time I had getting Xanax and Klonopin.