Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just curious, your first time out as female, what did you wear? what did you do with your hair? make up? I have never had the courage (yet) to do it, but wondering what you did to prepare, how did you get mentally prepaired for the role?   8)

The first time I went out was to a trans support meeting. I had my hair in pig-tails and was wearing an aqua blue top with jeans. Going to a support group as my first place out was a great way to get comfortable with the idea of being out, but still knowing that I was going to be somewhere safe. That's what really helped me prepare mentally. The next place I went out to was on my birthday to a gay/trans bar. Then pretty soon it was Wal-Mart's further from my house or going to the movies with supportive friends. It was all very scary, but it was worth it in the end. Baby steps are what made me feel like I could really do it. And god knows I wasn't passing perfectly back then. I have photos of me and I can't believe I actually went out like that. But it's made me stronger to know that I don't have to worry about passing or not, which in the end gave me a confidence that did improve my passing.

At the time, I wore simple day time makeup (enough to cover shadow), a dark brown wig in a pony tail, a tee shirt and jeans.  First time out was to Walmart of all places.  I also was with a friend who had my back.

I was scared sh*tless, but nothing happened.  And that was a blessing.  Enough to give confidence to work towards full time.

Lake Travis in June. I wore a sleeveless white top, a faded blue crinkly skirt, a straw hat and a pair of flip-flops. Didn't wear makeup, had a sunblock on that evened out my skin tone and sunglasses. I walked into a Wal-Mart and bought my clothes that morning, it was busy, no one noticed. It gave me a much needed boost. Haven't done anything since though.

I don't know if it counts, but the first time I tried to pass as female (a bit less than two years ago), I wore all my usual (male) clothes but spoke in a girl voice (I did already have fairly long hair though). I'm not sure I was really seriously trying either! So of course, as long as I wasn't talking I wasn't passing...

In my mind, that was the first time I did, because I don't remember any separate occasion that might possibly count. I then gradually put on more and more girl clothing, first fairly unnoticeable ones (like a lady's shirt) then more definitively female ones (like a hair clip). So basically I didn't just one day turn up in full female attire. And to be honest it was because I was too scared to! In contrast to many others, I cared a LOT whether I passed... so I wouldn't wear something too obviously female until I was sure I could pass without it in the first place, which explains my slow progress.

Funny that I actually tried to not look like a girl when I went to the local transgender centre. I'm not sure why but actually I didn't feel comfortable doing so. Maybe I was conscious that there'd be so many others who would pass much better and I didn't want to look ridiculous to them...

BilliTex, I planned my outing for a place I knew well with a way out if something went wrong. I know Lake Travis and I went to Hippie  Hollow, yes I did! ::) It was fun, the Xanax I took before hand helped.

Here is my write-up on Susans of my first time out as Jillieann (me).

QuoteI had the most wonderful day, yesterday.
Was looking in the mirror after shaving and got the craziest idea.
So first I put on a little foundation on my face and neck.
Some blush on my cheeks and than I took a pencil and darken my eyebrows.
My eyelashes are already dark and long so I left them alone.
I put on some lipstick and a set of fake nails; my nails are still too short.
After putting a little padding, a white pullover, a pink sweater, my white ladies jeans,  teen shoes, a pair of small gold earrings, my wife's light weight winter coat and a light blue stocking hat I got into the car and headed for the mall. When I got to the mall I grabbed my purse, which I had put my wallet and other things, and walked into. At that moment I almost had a panic attack, but I was so determined to wall around the mall a couple of time no matter what anyone might think. I know how to talk, walk and act like a woman, I grew up with two sisters.
After ten minutes of walking without looking at anyone and my head down, I began to peek at people I was passing. No one seemed to notice me. I got a little braver and began looking at people as I pass them, they would glance at me and than look away just like they always do when I'm dressed as a man. Then my nose started to run. I had forgot to put an tissue in my purse so head for the bathrooms. I knew I couldn't go into the men's so hurried into the woman's and pass a couple of ladies and got into a stall.  Took care of my problem and than I when the bathroom sounded empty went to a mirror to check my makeup. Two women came in looked at me as the passed by and went into a couple of stalls without giving me a second glance.
I was in heaven. 
I realized that I was being accepted as the woman I am. Finally I could be my true self; a woman, in her environment, shopping in a mall.
After that I held my head up, smile at the children waiting for Santa, look everyone in the face and for the next two hours I walked and shopped in the stores.
I checked out the ladies dresses at Sears, shoes at Payless, and some bras and makeup at the Target store.
Not wanting this to end I went to Myers and shopped for a gift for my SO.
She loves cloths and jewelry. But I had one small problem. I realized I couldn't use my credit card, my name and ID would be wrong.
Anyway it was a great day and I will do it again. Next time I will have more cash in my purse.
I hope this will encourage someone.

;D
Jillieann

Good thing you couldn't use your credit card, you would have maxed it out! :laugh:

Now if I use my credit card they think I am his (male name) wife.
Go figure.  ;D

I honestly don't remember the first time, if there even was a first time.  I held onto my male jeans and t-shirts for so long that I gradually just faded into people seeing me as female.  I do, however, remember the last time I used the men's room.  Again I had on jeans, green t-shirt, hair pulled back into my usual ponytail and most likely my beat up chucks.  A grad student saw me as I was washing my hands and said, "The women's room is upstairs."  Awkward...

I don't know, I never really made a huge deal about going out as a woman because all I really want to do was go out as me.  I figured I'd let people see what they see.  That's how it is for most other people, they don't say today I'm going out as this or that, they don't even think about it, so neither do I.  Granted hormones and the upcoming surgery will help everyone see what I'd like them to see but I don't get to choose how I'm perceived.  I feel no reason to shout out, "Holy Crap! I'm a woman, seriously!!!"  In fact I rarely, if ever, state that as a reason for transition.  I mean it is, but every time I think about saying it the line from Hamlet pops into my head: "The lady doth protest* too much methinks."  Heck, I really never reveled in the fact that I could use the women's room, I use it because I can't exactly use the men's room.  I still refuse to carry a purse: keys on belt loop, phone in left pocket, cards and cash in the right.  That's how it was, is, and shall be (as long as I'm wearing pants or shorts with pockets). 

*In the days of Shakespeare protest meant to vow or declare in earnest.  This is just a personal thing but I feel if I say, "because I'm a woman," it doesn't really get to the heart of the issue (mainly because there's still the question of why do you feel that way?).  I prefer to say, "Because my stupid brain decided a male body wasn't good enough but was too lazy to tell it to stop developing that way."  For me it's more matter-of-fact and less prone to secondary questions.

:)

I was... 11 years old? I don't quite remember the year correctly. I just went out in a silver dress and walked around the neighborhood. I did get yelled at by some kid passing by in a car about it not being Halloween (it was the day before, in reality).

Edit: I like Maddie's response, I think kinda along those lines too.

These stories are great. I'm still working my way up to things on the feminine side of the men's clothing line at this point. I hope that in the next while I'll get to where you all are. In the meantime, this is encouraging and gives me a shot of at least a little bit of courage and thinking about how to get there from here. 

My first time was last saturday....

I learned a new defination for the word fear....Nice floor length dress,long blond hair wig(tacky) and makeup just awful i went to a local bar that has drag shows and it was WONDERFUL. The women were so helpful pointing out my flaws and offering constructive criticisms.

Last night(saturday) was my second outing. Same Club but this time i didnt try to over do it. Black Slacks,black/white blouse,1in heels,brown bob hair. I was able to find some of the girls i met last time and they could not believe the change. Confidence,Makeup,General attitude changed. The night is one of those i will remember for a long time.

Great to hear Jessica. 
As they say less is more.  Just a matter of finding out what suits you, and learning to go far enough without doing too much.

Karen.

The first time was to go to a gay bar called Club Metro. It became my favorite place, but it has since burned down. I was wearing a purple t-shirt, and a long purple flowered skirt, wearing the only wig I ever had before I grew out my hair. My car was in the driveway by the detached garage, and I spent 45 minutes standing in the kitchen trying to work up the courage to walk out the door. I decided to drive down the alley in the hopes no one would see me. But my neighbor two doors down was out in his driveway and looked me right in the eyes.

In the German Air Force, can you believe it?

Tight top, super mini skirt, heels, the works. Never wanted to go back from there, alas there was that olive or blue uniform waiting.

Went out with a CD friend and got our dance-cafe all stirred up, and the girls didn't quite know what to do with that competition.

In those days, in the 60s it was completely unheard of, a complete freak out. Embarrassing as hell.
You have NO idea how different times are these days. Almost unthinkable.
I was age 23 then, today I'm 65. Get the picture?

Axelle

That wasn't really my first time out as a girl, but it was the first time when I was totally alone and this was the first time when I was out for a prolonged period in day-time and in a crowd.

I didn't have any female clothing I could wear, only underwear and shoes. I wore jeans, jeans coat, a T-shirt(and a bra of course) and a pair of high heel clogs. I was tired as hell, I didn't sleep the night before because I was on night-shift and just got home that morning. I had to walk 2 kms to the train station. I was running a little late and the train was almost full, so I had to look for a seat. I'm certain everyone on that crowded train saw me as I walked up and down in all the coaches at least 2 times until I found a suitable seat.

A lot of people saw me that day and nobody bat an eyelid. I was a little nervous at first, but I was tired and I just wanted to get to my destination, so after a little time I couldn't care less about what anybody thought and it worked :D Not a single bad comment all day.

Mine is a bit long winded. I allued to a period that mentioned before on these pages.

It all started with me walking down the steet with this guy. He was a lot older than me. We had just made love and went out for a walk, down the main street in this small town, in the Highlands of Scotland. The sun was beating down, as it tends to do up there. The Atlantic ocean was releasing a steady cloud of humidity, that never really got too warm. I wasn't trying to show any affection as such, but was as near to being smitten as I was ever going to be. I was 18.

I'd gone to this town to try a new start. Like many small Highland town, in those days, this one seemed to be more than a passing acknowlegement to the past. Most buildings were old and built with granate. Decore tended to be old and functional. People tended to be reserved and polite.

I needed to visit an office for various things. I sat in the waiting area, watching a long row of female secretaties, running around with bits of paper, or sitting, tapping into typewriters, emotionless.

After a while, I was escorted past this line of desks to a door at the top. This was his office.

He sits there, looking so average, so normal, so ordinary. He speaks quietly. There is a trace of emotion in his voice. He looks at me through his brown eyes, set in his long, narrow, cleanly shaven face, the hint of his aftershave going with his neatly pressed white shirt and straight tie. His big fountain pen, sits sideways infront of his neat papers, ready to be picked up at either end, but ready.

His hand barely leaves the desk as he turns his head, talking in his calm quiet voice, which betrays a hint of emotion. His neat papers, waiting orderly for his command. His neat tie, insisting on maintaining its place. His neat pen, his neat hair.

He sits there, looking neat.

Then a bright silver, flying saucer lands outside and a troop of 3 foot aliens marches out, singing Waltzing matilda while dancing a highland jig.

No, that didn't happen. Something much more suprising. Something so completely out there, something that I still don't really believe.

Time stands still. It actually stands still.

This is how time stands still. He stands up, he turns slighly and he partly sits of the side of his desk, next to me. He, puts his hand on my chin. He leans down and He kisses me.

Now when time stands still, body stops. I drop the tension in my back like a cloak slipping onto the floor. So casual. I should have done it before.

There are two of me now, one wants him to climb inside me and never stop doing what he's doing now, the other wants him to stop, so I can look, so I can see, so I can make sense. So he can do it again.

I can hear my breathing now, its loud and fast, but now, I've left my body and floated to another place. But I hear my breathing, I hear the sound, in the distance. I hear it ticking. I hear it.

He stops. He looks at me. I look back because he will start again. It will be the first time. It will be the same. It's the same because its so good. It is. It is, It is.

I draw a breath, a long, slow breath. A breath that goes on and on, I'm still breathing in. Shall I stop now? Shall I?

I'm breathing out. I walk out side and stand on the small lawn, in front of the building, which has the office that he is in. I wait outside this terrible building, like an unwanted wrapper on a birthday gift that you know will be worth having.

Two lifetimes later, he appears. He doesn't walk. He is just there. He was always there. He's standing there.

We lie on our bed. We make love.

It was later, after he had smashed and pounded the lonliness, the life that should never be, the life alone, without him. The life incomplete. The life in darkness and fear. After he had kneeded the life and shaped it, remade it into a glorious life. After he had taken all I could give and returned it, repaired, working as it should. Then we walk down the street. That warm street. The street of happy people. The street of joy of life, of how it should be. How it will be. How it is.

We watch the shops, warming, presenting their goods, for our approval. They each stand there, eager for us to pass. Basking in the approval that we show to each.

We see a store with shoe racks outside. I stop, looking at one. It has beautiful shoes. It has shoes which stand out, which shine, because they are made with goodness. I see the crowning shoes. I see my glass slipper. He tells me to try it on. I do and it fits like a baby, sleeping in his mother's arms.

It is patent. It has a small heal, perhaps 1 1/2 inches. It has a round toe. It has a small, golden buckle. It is so beautiful. It's been made by special elves. Their life's work, to make my shoes. I hug each warmly and they go, rewarded.

I wear my new shoes as we walk down the street. We go into a department store. I check out the skirts, the blouses, the tights. I buy a dark, knee length skirt and a white, cotton blouse. I don't know much about makeup but buy some foundation.

It was much later, after shops had closed and office workers were driving home, that we went to his home.

He lived in a flat on the second floor. The building was made of dark granite. The ceilings were each high. The stairs were stone, with wrought iron bannisters, carefully painted black. It was clean.

His door was a large, wide oak door, solid. With bright brass handles and a bright brass letter box, a big box saying I am here.

His home is clean and solid. the furnatire knows about life. It is strong. It is clean. it is mature. It is secure.

I wash again and I put on my new clothes. They fit as they should. I stand before him. He likes what he sees. I am home. I have made it. All the years of waiting are over. I have arrived.

I didn't do it overnight I just gradually pushed more and more V neck T-shirts and jeans whitch is what I wear most of the time ie androgynous clothing. I started wearing a bra when it became nessercry for me to do so. (I was starting to poke through my shirts)

A friend had one of those murder mystery things set in the 1940's thus I had to wear a dress so that was the first time I wore that thing. I dispise high heels I've only worn them once when my mum loaned me a pair of black shoes for my graduation as I don't have any of my own. Grah hate the things! >:(

It was 9 months on HRT when I appeared to attract less attention (looking like a mundane girl than a highly feminized male) when I started volentarily wearing skirts and dresses when I go out or just feel like it.

Quote from: Lisbeth on August 08, 2011, 12:45:19 PM
I decided to drive down the alley in the hopes no one would see me. But my neighbor two doors down was out in his driveway and looked me right in the eyes.

Wow!!! that is what scares me the most, i started walking in the morning on Saturdays, i still wear shorts and t shirt, but i wear a bra underneath, i take off my glasses so i don't have to look anyone in the eyes (my eyes are bad enough i can not make out anyone's face unless very very close but see enough to walk in the neighborhood) and not seeing other's expressions seems to help. maybe after i get rid of more weight, something more 'cute' ?

Love the stories, keep 'em coming, it really gives me hope!!!!!!!! :angel:

I am still not yet out at the moment although I got a few women's clothings from shop. I only dress indoor (skirt, legging and shirt), I think I quite like the feeling of dressing skirt and shirts. but I think it is embarassed to buy them from shop. In general, which clothing shop would you prefer for your shopping?e.g ASDS, Tesco, Topshop, Primark,H&M, Zara, M&S or Debehnam? I am still not sure which shop is the best for women clothings.

I got myself a dress, bra and a legging from Debenham and Primark last time. One of staff in Denbenham seems very helpful and helped me to look for my size. By the way, do you know if the fitting room is individual or not? I do want to try some tops and skirts before buying them in the shops but you know, I am embarassed as I have been taking on hormone not long ago. Anyway, I would definitely want to go out when dressing in female, but I am not confident enough, I don't have boobs so how could i wear a bra although i brought a white one, i love it. I got a high heel from Asda as well. Do you girls have any suggestions?

I took one hell of a plunge the first time I went into public visibly female.  Got dressed in a hot pink shirt with a tight, white overcoat, and black flared pants.  As for hair and makeup, it looked exactly like this:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theforestatnight.com%2Fsusans%2F2011-02-28%252012.45.43.jpg&hash=8eb3816c19dbbdc06235dbf6054ba3ab70c60d42) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theforestatnight.com%2Fsusans%2F2011-02-28%252018.27.55.jpg&hash=b9e03398a4b47e2f01367d29e0c43618f99bd54b)

Those pictures were taken February 28 of this year,  the week before my first time going out dressed female.  I'd been going to work like that for two years (in fact, the first picture above was taken at work before I even came out).  Then on my first day dressing female, I went to work and told my boss for the very first time that I was trans and was going full time and that's why I'd been wearing makeup to work for two years. :laugh:  She just smiled and said "okay!"  Then she asked if I wanted to make an announcement at the meeting that coming Friday, and that's when I told all of my coworkers.

You look great in those pics Zoe. I really like your style.

Zoe!!! Zowie!!! You look wonderful!!!! I could never look like that. (but i can dream   ::) )

Thanks, you two!  I wasn't trying to show off, just thought a picture spoke a thousand words when it came to the second half of the original question. :laugh:  Scary thing is, that was my "boy mode" for the nearly two years before I came out and went full time.  It was about 2.5 months on HRT before I felt confident enough to go out in women's clothing (so those pics were around 2 months).

I'm sure you didn't have any problems Zoë.
You passed even then.
My first outing was more then 3 years before I started hrt.

My first time was years before I even knew that transitioning was possible  :laugh:  I'd been randomly collecting stuff I could find for quite awhile and keeping it hidden

I was totally closeted and yes, I was a bad girl - raiding the Goodwill drop off area after dark even though I could afford to buy just about anything at the time :icon_redface:  I was too afraid to set foot in a women's shop and the internet didn't exist then

I did however buy my own panties at Kmart along with a birthday card and claiming they were for my sister  :icon_yes:  I couldn't bare the thought of wearing used undies  :P

So anyway, I got made up and nervously drove for miles down the freeway and was surprised to have guys checkin' me out and giving me the  "Hey Baby" looks, smiles and waves

But then I was getting low on gas and had to stop somewhere  :o  I nervously pull into a self serve isle and the attendant told me to relax and did the whole full service routine then asked for my phone #... Again I was bad and gave him the name and # of one of my X girlfriends and said I could hardly wait to hear from him

Feeling a bit more confident and rather hungry I stopped to get fish and chips at a nice lil' beach town... So then I made my way home

Didn't have much for problems really, other than a few people commenting on me being a tall drink o' water or such

It was probably one of the most liberating and nerve racking days I can remember  :laugh:

It's a mental & physical act/thing. 

Mentally relax chill, the world does not care at all, people are busy, they did not wake up to see what funny looking girl they could spot that day. So mentally just be a girl/woman relax, enjoy the feelings if not normal. I've always felt mentally normal so no big deal for me.

Physically, dress as any normal woman/girl for that day. Most women do not dress up at all if you notice. if it's hot don't wear pantyhose obviously...... Normally we are more attractive than the average woman. Do not over dress flashy unless your on the troll. Remove all extra hair, shave legs smooth, they will feel great & look great. arms & hands remove all hair. Guess shave close, we have no choice for most of us. Makeup use some as to fit the time of day or night.  Just do all as any normal would, it's no big deal.

Voice if you have to speak just do your best if rough voice, it's hard to hide. If someone realized you are male just tell them you are having fun being as female as possible, it's fun. Look them in the eye. Just tell them man or woman that you are doing just fine, I'm enjoying being a woman. Be assertive & feminine.

Good luck, my 2 cents worth.

Francis