Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: wallflower on August 12, 2011, 02:43:58 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Should I be more accepting of my parents trouble with name/pro-nouns?
Post by: wallflower on August 12, 2011, 02:43:58 PM
Post by: wallflower on August 12, 2011, 02:43:58 PM
So I have been living as a female for 2 years now with no HRT and so far everyone outside of my family has been very good. My family though are having trouble dealing with it and prefer to pretend it is not happening. I first told my family 4 months after seeing my psychiatrist for the first time but things went belly up, my dad had a breakdown, my mum became suicidal and I was glad to find out this was all my fault so recently when the UK got a new government and funding to the NHS was being lopped off left right and centre I informed them that I may not be getting treated as soon as expected and instantly they cheered up, there son had returned from the dead! A few days ago however I informed them that I had an appointment for HRT, I have had no word from them since and I am scared of what may happen.
During the first time when I told them my dad briefly tried to use my new name but my mum simply stopped talking to me and cried whenever we were together, during the window in which things were bad for me though they improved and were happy to invite their son to everything they could! Now I am going to ask them to call me Stacey again and use correct pro nouns but I am dubious as to how successful they will be after the first attempt.
So since I don't see much of my parents (twice a year) and they have minimal contact with anyone currently in my life should I allow them to refer to me as their son and use the incorrect pro-nouns even if it hurts me on the grounds that I can deal with it better than them or should I try to convince them to see things my way and treat me correctly?
Sorry if this is not written clearly, I am quite emotionally about this issue which clouds my diction.
During the first time when I told them my dad briefly tried to use my new name but my mum simply stopped talking to me and cried whenever we were together, during the window in which things were bad for me though they improved and were happy to invite their son to everything they could! Now I am going to ask them to call me Stacey again and use correct pro nouns but I am dubious as to how successful they will be after the first attempt.
So since I don't see much of my parents (twice a year) and they have minimal contact with anyone currently in my life should I allow them to refer to me as their son and use the incorrect pro-nouns even if it hurts me on the grounds that I can deal with it better than them or should I try to convince them to see things my way and treat me correctly?
Sorry if this is not written clearly, I am quite emotionally about this issue which clouds my diction.
Title: Re: Should I be more accepting of my parents trouble with name/pro-nouns?
Post by: wallflower on August 12, 2011, 05:15:08 PM
Post by: wallflower on August 12, 2011, 05:15:08 PM
Quote from: Valeriedances on August 12, 2011, 03:31:33 PM
p.s. Does it have to hurt if they do (as long as it isn't mean-spirited)? I think this is optional.
This is a good point, no i don't mind the miss-use so much and I would be ok with it if it weren't for the fact that they were so opposed to anything transgender related. I guess to me it is the figure head of their dis-approval.