Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am really confused about porn.  For some reason I feel that it is very intense and I had a weird experience with it.

When I was growing up I remember that a boy in the neighborhood showed me a picture of a heterosexual couple having sex and I felt really embarrased and was looking at the female in the picture and thinking why is she doing this.  Of course they expected a much different reaction from a boy (I was born biologically male) and I felt really weird about it.

I was wondering if anyone else felt this way looking at porn?  Is it my confusion about my gender that led to a misunderstanding of what I was looking at?

Thanks

Most men are turned on to porn, but a few women are also. depends on your taste.

Quote from: Metroland on August 12, 2011, 06:48:00 PM
When I was growing up I remember that a boy in the neighborhood showed me a picture of a heterosexual couple having sex and I felt really embarrased and was looking at the female in the picture and thinking why is she doing this.  Of course they expected a much different reaction from a boy (I was born biologically male) and I felt really weird about it.

Your experience fit mine to the letter!  There was a neighborhood boy right up the street from me who had a stash of porn (this was when we were 11 or 12 years old).  Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse, you name it.  He once took me to the garage to let me in on the secret of his little stash, and I just wanted to run when I saw them.  I've never really given much thought to the incident until I read this post, but I have no clue why I reacted the way that I did.  I was never into girls, but certainly not afraid of them!

No, the first porn I ever saw was gay porn when I was like 12, and right after that, me and my neice (whose the same age) started looking at porn sites with naked women. I don't think I thought too much about it.

I never had much of an interest in porn until I discovered the "made for women" sites like Abby Winters, the ones where the actors look average and the sex looks real and intimate.

None of that breaking the 4th wall crap... actors looking at the camera or not looking like they're enjoying what they're doing is the biggest turnoff for me. It seems like nearly all mainstream lesbian porn looks extremely fake, I need to see some real emotions!

I'm aware im in MtF section, but porn..
/perpetuatng sterotypes..kind of

Quote from: chloe23 on August 12, 2011, 07:02:40 PM
Most men are turned on to porn, but a few women are also. depends on your taste.

This is generalizing to all genders..

Personally I'm a guy who isn't much fond of porn. Erotica on the other hand... *drool*

Yet I know girls who. Like porn. A lot. (my friends and i talk weird ->-bleeped-<-...)

silly society has trained girls to never discuss what goes on between them, their hand, and whatever their fap materal *if any*.
The whole "girls aren't sexual, it's not OK" stuff.

No comment on "made for men/women", i really don't have enough to judge. Again, i prefer text :P

^I thought those eggs in your avatar were breasts at first. :P

I'm more of an erotic book reader myself. Today at Borders, me and a girl friend of mine stocked up on their erotica. 50% off plus the 10% borders card lol

When it comes to watching porn, as long as you are not physically and emotionally addicted to it (or offended morally or socially by it), I think you are fine which ever way you approach it.

If I tell you I never watched porn because I am a good Seminary student, I would be lying right through my teeth lol. My boyfriend has erectile issues because he is on a medication that makes it difficult to achieve a result we both can be happy with. Porn and me makes that ability to go more smoothly for him versus me trying to do it alone. It has nothing to do with me not able to "make him happy" because ive seen his medicine cabinet. It really is a medical issue for him. So porn for him has helped him achieve results which would normally take me an hour alone to do. However, when we start to make love, I turn it off. That's where I would feel weird that he would become more interested in the movie than me.

I hope that makes sense.

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on August 12, 2011, 07:10:00 PM
No, the first porn I ever saw was gay porn when I was like 12, and right after that, me and my neice (whose the same age) started looking at porn sites with naked women. I don't think I thought too much about it.

XD, I thought you were a saint

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on August 12, 2011, 09:39:39 PM
^I thought those eggs in your avatar were breasts at first. :P

but you are a perv  >:-) , this is good

I watched a lot of porn during my first relationship.  It was how I learned about the mechanical aspects of sex, beyond the basics.  Porn gave me a solid foundation for a lifetime of great sex.  Such great sex, in fact, that watching sex on television no longer did anything for me.  Why watch other people doing something fun when you can do it yourself instead?

I remember when I was around 11 or 12 and all the boys around me were sooo excited to see their first boob or vagina. The first set of breasts I saw I thought "that's boring". The first vagina I thought "eww.. what's the big deal about?" Penis, on the other hand, I was too nervous to look at because I didn't want my friends to ridicule me. But now, even though I'm into guys, I'm not a fan of the visuals.

Quote from: Narela on August 13, 2011, 12:05:34 AM

XD, I thought you were a saint 
but you are a perv  >:-) , this is good

Lawl no I am very unsaintlike.

Thanks all for your replies.  I don't know why I still feel embarrassed watching porn.  It is weird.  I bring this up because I was ridiculed the other day for saying that watching porn can be intense and not for everyone.  I felt very self-consious when that happened.

Good For You! Seriously, its okay and not for you. Nonchalantly stand your ground.

Porn was always a "wonderful tool" for me. Since I was way too young, I've had sexual urges. And the body kind of wants them satisfied. So even though it's not pleasing, I "have" to masturbate. Porn is useful. It allows me to go into fantasy of not having this body for a while and become a character or change my body in my mind, which makes the mental pain lighten. If I combine that with staying dressed for the whole thing, looking at myself as little as possible, and keeping the sperm inside, it allows me to get my genitals to leave me the heck alone for a while without too much pain. On a toilet or a bed, it feels very bad.

In short, porn allows me some non-aroused periods or rest.

As for earliest reactions to porn, hmm, I don't remember. Sorry.

Its when you rely on porn and live vicariously through it , and use it because its "safe", that it becomes harmful to you. With porn you don't have to expose yourself (not that kind) to others, or face the challenges of coming out.

Well, I did come out, and am trying to transition. It's just that for now, physical urges remain, and dysphoria does too. I don't really see the point of inflicting myself pain by doing this annoying action otherwise.

from "the other side", i am a straight male who is (very) turned on by anything sexual. yay for testosterone....

but seriously, half the time i'm watching porn the thoughts keep coming in my head how degrading it is to women (and men) and the fact that the actors are peoples children...

as much as i like sex, having it and watching it, there's still a part of me that knows our society exploits it and objectifies it and feels uncomfortable with that.

^I feel the same a little bit.

Quote from: RyanThomas on August 13, 2011, 10:51:02 PM
but seriously, half the time i'm watching porn the thoughts keep coming in my head how degrading it is to women (and men) and the fact that the actors are peoples children...

+1

Thank you for that poignant observation!  I've had the exact same thoughts too.

Porn has always disgusted me.  It is not something I have ever had the slightest interest in.  However, I feel I should comment because I had the same "other neighborhood boy" experience that was described in some of the early posts in the thread.  When I was in maybe 6-7th grade, stereotypical older neighborhood boy showed me nude pictures of women (celebrities specifically), but they were nothing like porn.  My reaction was pretty much "yeah, and?" but I also felt wrong looking at them and wanted out of there.

The only similar pictures I've been able to look at since then are the tasteful nudity type without sex in them, and I never used them to satisfy any urge.  Unless you call the whole "wishing I looked like them" thing an urge. :-\

Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 13, 2011, 11:16:01 PM
+1

Thank you for that poignant observation!  I've had the exact same thoughts too.

regardless of how lovely her tits are i feel really uncomfortable getting sexual gratification from a stranger, even if it's through a video. i feel the same irl obviously.

I guess you people are more mature than I. For me, right now, sexual urges are nothing but a nuisance that must be eliminated with as little collateral damage as possible. Yes, I am at war with my genitalia, and they're using guerilla tactics to annoy me ever more every time.

I do look forward to actually having feelings develop into desire and fulfillment with a loving partner, and everything, but for now, I can only look at such wonderful feelings from a distant, dirty window. For now, what that ->-bleeped-<-stick wants and love are as unrelated as friendship and quartz. The last time I had a "fantasy" about someone I loved... still brings shivers.

(Btw, about nude pictures during the youth, isn't it normal to be repulsed? I'm not sure I get it.)

Quote from: A on August 13, 2011, 10:39:39 PM
Well, I did come out, and am trying to transition. It's just that for now, physical urges remain, and dysphoria does too. I don't really see the point of inflicting myself pain by doing this annoying action otherwise.

Quote from: A on August 13, 2011, 11:39:09 PM
I guess you people are more mature than I. For me, right now, sexual urges are nothing but a nuisance that must be eliminated with as little collateral damage as possible. Yes, I am at war with my genitalia, and they're using guerilla tactics to annoy me ever more every time.

I do look forward to actually having feelings develop into desire and fulfillment with a loving partner, and everything, but for now, I can only look at such wonderful feelings from a distant, dirty window. For now, what that ->-bleeped-<-stick wants and love are as unrelated as friendship and quartz. The last time I had a "fantasy" about someone I loved... still brings shivers.

(Btw, about nude pictures during the youth, isn't it normal to be repulsed? I'm not sure I get it.)

No A, I wouldn't say you are less mature, from what you write it reflects maturity, and I know what you are going through also. It has only been in the past 2 months that I have been able put the porn "aside", it has been a blessing actually, and has allowed that "sexual healing" I needed to start my journey. Guerrilla tactics is right, now I hate waking up an erection, it calls out to be fed(lol). But I have found a shift from "porno sexual fantasies" to intimate fantasies, more romantic ones actually that are turning me on. When it comes time to "clean the dirty window" you'll  know, it will kinda  be like a choice, one you'll be ready and willing to make.

Quote from: -Ryan- on August 13, 2011, 10:51:02 PM
from "the other side", i am a straight male who is (very) turned on by anything sexual. yay for testosterone....

but seriously, half the time i'm watching porn the thoughts keep coming in my head how degrading it is to women (and men) and the fact that the actors are peoples children...

as much as i like sex, having it and watching it, there's still a part of me that knows our society exploits it and objectifies it and feels uncomfortable with that.

Kinda puts a damper on it sometimes wouldn't you say? The "war inside", like the scene from Animal House where Pinto is about to take advantage of his date...hopefully Zoe will see this "request" and put that video on this thread (hint,hint).

Quote from: SandraJane on August 13, 2011, 10:25:06 PM
Its when you rely on porn and live vicariously through it , and use it because its "safe", that it becomes harmful to you. With porn you don't have to expose yourself (not that kind) to others, or face the challenges of coming out.

Who's that referring to? ME! Yeah I liked porn, find I pause momentary when I do stumble upon it- then I shut my eyes and turn my head away :laugh: :laugh:, but it was one of the "chains" that was holding me back. I'm not throwing stones at anyone...cause I'd be the first target...

After the first few minutes I always found porn to be boring.  There are only so many things two people can do without it becoming repetitive.  I guess I was always relating to the women in straight porn, and getting turned on by that, rather than the male viewpoint.  The female actors generally have the minor role in most, which could explain the feeling of boredom that ensues. 

Lesbian porn seems to be  almost always for the titillation of straight men, but I have found some that I have enjoyed as it was obviously made by lesbians, for lesbians.  I would call it erotica rather than porn though, because of the way it is presented.  Erotica can be written too, and I find that more enjoyable because I can make the characters look, and act to an extent, however like.

Thanks to the wonders of HRT I no longer have to be concerned with male sex drive, and the associated efforts anyway.

Karen.

I would call it erotica rather than porn though, because of the way it is presented that's what everyone else does too.

Everyone is different. Every man is different, every woman is different.

What you feel about porn is going to be different than I feel about porn which is going to be different than my sister feels about porn...

The feminist in me thinks its disgusting and degrading.

The transactivist in me thinks its degrading and pushes bad stereotypes in re to trans porn.

The wild part of me thinks some of those things seem like they might be fun and feel good.

The human part of me thinks it might suit some needs but not others.

Quote from: Lily on August 12, 2011, 08:04:04 PM
I never had much of an interest in porn until I discovered the "made for women" sites like Abby Winters, the ones where the actors look average and the sex looks real and intimate.

I had to read about it. I don't like that it was founded and is owned by a male named Garion Hall. "Made for women," made by women, but it's still women being exploited by a man.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbywinters.com (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbywinters.com)

Yeah, one of the top 'barely legal' websites, great choice.